Achilles is a young man caught up in the conversion movement but he doe's not won't to be coverted but Achilles knows how this is gonna end with the destruction of human kind but what can a 18 year old do about it.
But when he is kidnapped by a strange organization and given tattoo's that bestow strange new powers that can
only be described as magic what is he to do.
*prone to being changed*
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I do hope that this story will be pro-human.
Totally agree with the words of more simple and fast choise...but who knows that simple choise is the best.
It's good not amazing but a good read
And the fives stars go to... VIODDRAGON. Congragulations
It's good it incorporates the HLF really early I would like to read more 5 stars right now don't dissapoint me
Work ya piece of shot comment system.
Anyways, good story. Look forward to more.
interesting
Gotta say, it's quite difficult to read, given several grammatical errors that do take away from the experience.
I'm under the understanding that English is not your first language, am I right? If so, perhaps write in the language that you are most fluent in? Sure, that may limit your number of readers, but people won't call you out on mistakes as often. If someone really wants to read your story though, being in another language, they can simply send it through Babelfish or something, or go through the enjoyment of learning another language.
And one last note on a comment you made here... Don't let people write out your ideas. They often give the wrong message that you are wanting to exhibit, less to mention that they could have a poor grasp of literary skills.
Hey don't get upset, i'm a russian and english is also alien to me) But still i'm looking for main plot and not gramma nazi rules.
Hey guys, I'm the co-writer for this piece. Basically how this works is Void asked me to edit and rewrite his story for him to be readable. He says I'm better at English/grammar stuff, so he writes a rough draft then I go over and edit and rewrite it to be easier to read. I'm a VERY amateur writer obviously so I really appreciate the criticism and feedback. I've only really written one other piece, which was a very short S.T.A.L.K.E.R. fanfiction. If its syntax, grammar, etc. issues that'd be my department, as for the general plot development itself that's Void's thing. So please continue giving input on this story. We both really appreciate it. Thanks!
finally
50003
Go away and take your pro-conversion filth with you
53894
)
I'm... pretty confused here. I didn't see anything regarding his thoughts on conversion (Besides its just a story...
Seemed like pretty fair criticism to me. Unflinchingly honest, but quite fair.
52327
Check up on the training grounds thread on ponychan for sithicus helpicus, escher's hints and cereal velocity's writing guides. You need them, if this chapter has been edited.
The story, apart from the grammatical and punctuational mistakes, could also do with slowing down a tad. let your characters breathe, explain his reluctance to ponify whilst still being more than okay with ponies and pony-lifestyles all around better, and you'll have a more gripping narrative.
TY
what is the order these pony conversion beauro's come in, i've seen them everywhere when i use browse, but i don't know what order they come in. also this story was rather short is it a preview for something or the start of a story?
<--- honestly, just the weirdest face i could find in the emoticons
Please update soon, this is one of the few pro human conversion Bureau fanfics!
really????
I will talk to my friend it is undergoing revision to make it even more pro-human
it's a start never got to finish second chaptor editor/friend to busy plus got dishearted I might just restart it though
if any of you want to help me edit then pm me I have to let you know though that my grammar is horrid ok. 827927
If you ever make it mature in the future, and have gore, I can help you, A-F*YAY*ING lot.
It was gonna be very gory and yes mature it has a home based forty thousand race me and a few friend made the point was to have an elder god like thing take an interest into protecting man
if you want to be my editor then i will send you a link in the Google docs just pm me your Google docs account so I can send you the link my friend (this might have come out a bit aqured writing has never been my strong point)828211
50003 He's dyslexic
828825 Well, I think I read somewhere that English wasn't his first language, or it could have been the honest mistake of accidentally having another tab open. Things happen.
848879
English is my first language you could just ask.
848899 Then it was the latter of the two posted above. Honest mistake. I tend to have as many as a dozen tabs open at once on a browser.
848906
eh no prob I just am not good with the language funny thing was I got Japanese better but I am not fluent in it.