• Member Since 4th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago


On the Sliding Scale Of Idealism Vs. Cynicism, I like to think of myself as being idyllically cynical. (Patreon page.)


There are certain responsibilities which come with being a Princess, and Twilight's still learning about most of them. She's slowly adjusting to meeting diplomats, attending ceremonies, and hosting functions. However, being on the receiving end of the scheduled, contractually-obligated kidnapping came as something of a surprise. And she really doesn't understand why she's supposed to cooperate with it.

Her kidnapper's starting to become a little frustrated.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (5)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 386 )

Im tracking this one for now.
But omg the premise is prefect.
The synopsis alone is hilarious.

See, we told you this was a good idea!

So tia was hoping to get out of the formalities by contacting King Koopa and having him kidnapper her? And his goons mess up and get Twilight? Oh tia and the others are NOT going to be happy about this, at ALL! No mention at all about the Buffalo either!:pinkiecrazy:

This should be a riot to read. They grab the wrong princess and one that will get multiple powerful beings after them on. Also who had the Super Mario Bros theme going on in their heads while Twilight was describing the turtles? I sorta feel sorry for Bowser as he has no clue what is going to happen.

You absolute madman. You did it. :rainbowlaugh:

This is great already.

I can't help but wonder how much longer Twilight would need to spend before others could converse with her imaginary friend. And whether the embassy would have to be reconsecrated to accomodate the new addition.

The fact that Twilight even considers trying the third option makes me surprisingly happy.

In all, this looks incredibly promising. I eagerly await whatever follows.

Okay, this was rather out of the blue, but just plain solid. And certainly one to follow for the odd nature of it.

The world need this. Tracking.

The kidnappers were polite and courteous to me. They used high quality materials. However, one of them accidentally slammed too hard on my head. Since he was just a trainee, I will only dock one point off my score. I give this kidnapping a 9 out of 10 for their Yelp review.

You insane bastard, I can't believe you actually did this! :rainbowlaugh:

The kidnapping scene was priceless: apparently, Bowser and his minions have now kidnapped the Princess so many times that they have developed fully functioning bureaucracy, customer feedback systems and professional development and apprenticeship programs in the field of princess kidnapping. Truly they are pioneers.

I greatly look forward to more,

This looks like it is going to be good... Very good.

How could they mix up White and Purple?
Now, if they were hired to kidnap Luna, I could understand them mixing up Blue and Purple.

FYI: Tabitha St Germain was the voice of Kootie Pie Koopa in the Super Mario Bros cartoons. She was credited as Paulina Gillis.

This was actually really funny and enjoyable to read. I can't wait to see how Boswer reacts when they have the wrong Princess :rainbowlaugh:

Hey, your story is on the featured box! :pinkiehappy:

Congrats man! :raritystarry:

Spike hefted his plunger and regarded the stubby length of pipe sticking out of the Royal Lawn. "Seems like I get all the dirty jobs around here. I'm going in."

UH OH.... Incoming Flash Sentry?

So just three minor notes:

Obviously this is a multi-chapter work. I'm aiming (and probably missing) to be finished by the end of Wednesday, so this is going to be more or less a straight run and for those sponsoring me on Patreon, regardless of final length, it will represent one pledge charge. I don't think it's going to go much over 20k on the word count (and may wind up well below that), and I'm just not comfortable doing multiple charges for this one.

The concept for this one was originally proposed in a blog post. As such, several followers made suggestions which contributed to the story's structure, and they'll be individually credited after the story wraps up.

And I love the art I found for this one. I was dearly hoping to locate an image of a Bowser who had a very visible "Oh, for..." look of pure frustration on his face, and I think this picture qualifies.

"'Send somepony who deserves it.'"

I'd volunteer Blueblood, but we do actually need Twilight saved sometime this century.

Wow, ponies sure don't understand what a game show is... :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh:

Oh boy, I wonder who we'll be chosen to save our princess?

8181942 I was thinking the same thing! Just throw him in and Celestia can have vacation without being bothered by her student who is crazy and nephew who either causes trouble or is just boring :rainbowlaugh:

Wait!! I know someone that would be funny to see... Derpy duh! :derpytongue2:

This is a really cool direction to take this in. Kidnapping being a legitimate business in a fantasy world actually makes a lot of sense.

Haha YES! This is gonna be goooooood. :yay:

What a fun concept this fic is. And how delightfully practical Twilight is when she wakes up.

"'Send somepony who deserves it.'"

Does it need to be a plumber? If it does, send Pipe Fitter! I'm sure Rarity and the rest of Ponyville would be happy to help him on his way down that deep, dark hole in the ground. Or send that poor lightning rod of a pony, Flash Sentry, who already knows what it feels like to (almost) die a thousand deaths.

I feel really, really sorry for whomever is working Dark World Client Services today, because they're about to get a really, really angry walk-in.

...all right, now it was getting ridiculous. It sounded as if there was an entire flock overheard, and their altitude was audibly at a value where every pegasus in the group was practically right on top of her. Twilight looked up.

As it turned out, the lowest of the flying minotauroid turtles just happened to be looking down, and so the first thing Twilight did was make direct eye contact. Blue orbs blinked at her, and the yellow scales around them shifted to suit.

This may be the best thing ever. Really looking forwards to seeing how the game mechanics transfer from gaming to prose.

Who is going through the pipe I wonder? Flash Sentery or somepony else?

Send someone who deserves it.

Send someone who needs to have his ego totally destroyed.

Send someone who on the merest besmirching of his form has the chance of getting very angry.

Send someone who doesnt have to get a flower for magic abuse.

Send Blueblood.

Then send Discord in because he hacked the code. :moustache:

I can just see Bowser's reaction when he finds out they got the wrong princess: "Dang it, it's the Princess Daisy fiasco all over again!"

This may be the most brilliant thing you've ever created.

And also the most insane.

Either way I'm hooked immediately.

Godspeed, you crazy bastard.

My only complaints would be quibbling
If I was in Twilight's position, I'd have immediately blamed Discord, especially as this takes place in Season 4. (Twilight is an alicorn but still a librarian) Back then, all the Mane 6 except Fluttershy were still highly suspicious of him.

The other ponies in EQ seemed to be less aware of what he'd done in Return of Harmony, but someone should have thought of him. I can hear him now "Oh, how sharper than my serpent's tooth is this unjust accusation!" + Fluttershy defending him.

There were bottles of grooming product. She dumped them out, cleaned them thoroughly, filled them with cold water and resealed.

Okay, Twilight, there's a difference between being evil like Bowser, and just plain being rude like you.

She had attended Pinkie's parties, and every one from the second on had been of her own free will.

If that doesn't speak to her fortitude, nothing does.

I admit, it took me until the next sentence before I properly parsed "Princess Twilight's brother" as Spike. I feel kind of bad about that.

"Until the Princess is found and returned," eh? Nothing in there says she has to be found at the end of World 8. Indeed, it's not clear whether "returned" includes the would-be rescuer, should they pass by one another. This is going to be all kinds of entertaining. I just wonder who they'll pick. Flash probably would be the best choice, as long as his mark doesn't trigger every time something walks off the ledge of a bottomless pit.

Actually, pegasi would render most of the ordeal irrelevant, wouldn't they? Well, finding out who the "lucky" rescuer is will be part of the fun.

8182044 I know, but she would make a funny hero to see. I'm seeing BlueBlood a lot and him being in would be funny as well... But Trixie would be interesting

She'd just Shine-spark through all the obstacles, and have Twi home in time for dinner.

(yes, I know that's from Metroid, but Derpy has proven able to just casually bust through solid oak. how else do you explain it? )

This story is going places, and I'm going to go along for the ride, because it's going to be awesome :rainbowlaugh:

I have read only two chapters, and i'm already salivating to hear Celestia try to explain the ditching.

"Did you know November is Snout Awareness Month?"
:twilightoops: :twilightangry2: "I hate you."

So I'm imagining that this pony will be female, rather than male.

She should also have a name appropriate for trekking into a land with so much lava. Maybe name her after a moon of Jupiter.

I'm sure you'll come up with something.

Current pipe configuration and the Lands Beyond designed under open source.

Yes, but does it have the cog wheel symbol?

Loving this story so far.

So that's how Chrysalis managed to kidnap the princesses - she bought out their kidnapping contract. :pinkiecrazy:

I dare say the Koopas got more than they bargained for. Poor fools...:facehoof:

"'Send somepony who deserves it.'"

Perfect. Just perfect.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!