Charles Pathfinder - A Gryphon in Canterlot is a story about Charles Pathfinder, a griffin in Canterlot. In the socially conservative capital of Equestria, he is faced with discrimination and misunderstandings while plagued by the ghost of a rough childhood and stained past. However, after a chance encounter with the royal sisters, his life became a tale of self-discovery, friendship, mistakes, and self-overcoming. His fate is intertwined with the diamond dog's slave trade, and his actions would affect not just those around him, but the very society of Equestria itself.
Chapters (10)
thank you 1137191
took me long enough^^
Another great chapter. A little confusing, grammatical errors (Were those intentional) and such, but still a good read.
Thanks 1143170 I hope you are going to enjoy the next chapter
Just as good as the other chapters. I am kinda intrigued by the way you are setting up the character development. Free Spirit despised Charles, but it looks like they may become good friends. I await the next chapter.
Shipping? Do I sense shipping in the beginnings of life? But still, great story. I am really enjoying it.
Thanks 1178049 I dunno maybe a little bit :-P lets see how it will go on because i also dont have an idea where this goes xD
1179599 Free flowing writing is best way to do it, in least in my option! I do that on my fanfic- Silent Dreamweaver haha. I don't even plan the story out, it just comes into my mind when I work on new chapter.
1203387 I am doing the same here
I just write when I have an idea
1169653 I think it was more that she was concerned about the safety of her co-workers.
1232106 That makes sense. She's warming up to him though.
This stories looking really good!
Few mistakes here and then but everypony makes them!
Keep writing!
1386360 Thank you :) I am just trying to improve but time is not good to me
1386370 Its looking really still though! Just take your time and remenber to proof read!
Thanks 1386377 I have two proofreader because I am not from a foreign speaking country...
1386383
That's good then.
Keep it up! This story is getting better and better, it is original to me as well!
1430190^Thanks
wait gryphons have teeth? how do teeth fit in a beak?
1665261 In which line?
because the probably I made a small mistake...
Please continue!
1665264 you said he brushed his teeth in the last paragraph of the second chapter
Thank you for a new chapter!
2389001You are welcome
Hell fucking yeah! THEM UPDATE IS HERE!
2389134 Next update is coming soon
2389147
YESH!
2389147
Then it is good I will get email update soon. =]
Let's see what happens at that date.
Nice... hehhe, I feel like I just started a new adventure, but actually, it's the same story. Either way, I liked it.
Roseluck? Hmm, I can dig it... literally...
And just mentioning: At several places, there are some sentences, where you forgot to put the first letter into uppercase. And at some parts, you miss-typed some words. Like:
But don't worry, those didn't disturb the story it was understandable.
2609682 I muust admit my keybord just fucked up with me
2609690 Was she good?
2609697 m(
2609700
You should ship him with Gilda, she needs more love
2976480 I am already thinking about that
Merry Christmas! Good chapter but I feels that it's little bit rushed.
Luna seems way too casual in this one. Even though she has been reformed, she is still a Princess. One would expect her to hold her regal form, even after she reassures him that she is a normal pony at that moment. And simply the idea, that she just calls him over is strange. She did state that she wanted him to report the happenings, however, the way she did that is... well, I cannot see Luna in it.
Her lines were acceptable... although her saying "whatever" is... well, I did laugh at it, but that is not an excuse for using that word... and now I can't think of anything else, but Luna quoting whatever and flipping the bird to Celestia, fuck!
Since this is a Christmas chapter, I take you didn't have time to polish this and put much happenings into it. That's acceptable, but later, you gotta fix the grammar and put the characters back to... well, into their respective characters...
Just remember those things I said on facebook, since those are basics. But about how you want to touch the readers, it's up to you, there are no good or bad ways to do that... just don't take this metaphor literally, because that is the bad way and a rather creepy one at that, haha.
All in all, I have absolute no problem with this. The mentioned things above are listed, because I know future readers won't be forgiving like I am and they will require flawless chapters, while this alone makes me satisfied. (I believe I have already elaborated about how much I love this story's idea and how eager I am to know where this character end up in the end.)
Merry Christmas to you too!
~Adam
3683181 Thanks Morfonius for the comment and I am going to rewrite the story after I have written some more.
3684425 Thanks for alll this critique. I am nearly finished with chapter 10 and I am going to hate myself for this^^ But dont aask me why. The last Chapter would be chapter 10 and after that I am going to write some other stories and not a sequel to this story.
3684651 Sounds like a plan to me. Well, I wish you luck with everything you are planning!
I haven't read a lot of slice of life stuff but I do like griffons that is for sure...
I do however want to see Charles in a Nissan Pathfinder
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/28/05-07_Nissan_Pathfinder_.jpg
3692439 I could ask somebody if he could draw that
3692439 i.imgur.com/KA1zoMI.jpg there you go :D
IO still cant stop laughing xD
3929192
Hell yeah! :D
3930869 You are welcome :3
3946931
Right, how unbecoming of me. Thank you Xaratos
Bravo! Bravo! Im glad that you are able to finish your fanfic :)
4026792 The last chapter was the hardest work and in my opinion my best.
I bet there are some typos but hey i dont have a proofreader x3
“It’s okay Charles. I understand that is is hard for you to let it go-''
"for the first time in -"
Sorry, Frozen was such a memorable movie...
As for the story... honestly, I will miss it. It was such a unique tale and held so much potential. I predict you will re-write it one day, to make it million ties better? (Or is it just me, who is never satisfied with his own work? Anyway, I just have this feeling that a few years later, you will return to this first story of yours and will remaster it... or even alter it...)
You are aware about your mistakes and I know you can do better. I'm eagerly waiting for another memorable story from you...
Have a wonderful day!
~Adam