"Play the man, Master Ridley; we shall this day light such a candle, by God's grace, in England, as I trust shall never be put out."
Inspired by a true story.
If you made a promise, keep it. If you have love, cherish it.
Indeed, being blind for the rest of your life is very inconvenient. But when a mare starts to give a huge promise to her significant other, how far would she go to fulfil her vow? How far would he go to strive for the one he loves?
Little did she know, she's keeping a promise one can't simply hold.
Page generated in 0.131 seconds
Total duration
1,030 users online
2,252,823 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The pretentious narrative wording makes me lose a lot of meaning in this story, and the shifting tenses make it harder to follow. There is a thinly veiled, more personal story here that is being painted over with cartoon ponies. Perhaps a kidney donation story, or something similiar. I can sense a lot of resentment in the wording, and it doesn't seem healthy. Consider therapy, not fanfiction.
Noted. Grammar's always an issue in my case. Stories still not my forte. Much appreciated.
Right there at the end...I dunno. You had me following well enough right up until the letter. Right about there, ya lost me. By that I mean, you'd built up the tragic betrayal, the misunderstanding, and the consequences. But...the Mare's reaction to the letter...to call it lackluster is an understatement. Either that character was FAR more shallow than the rest of the story led me to believe, or the mare truly deserved far worse in terms of tragic consequences.
Sorry, overall a good story, but the ending just fell flat for me.
Best of luck with writing, and thanks for the story.
8254767 Thanks for the input! I was a bit clueless on how to launch the ending myself. Maybe I shouldn't make the ending too much of a downer.