Just a girl who conquers other girls and makes them hers!
American Bronies3,785 stories ·1,062 members
The Shameless Self-Promotion Bureau49,181 stories ·5,454 members
Anti-Depression Ponies2,414 stories ·1,884 members
Cadence's Library10,487 stories ·1,375 members
Alternate Endings56 stories ·76 members
The Republic of Oceania380 stories ·213 members
The Unified Creators Alliance1,803 stories ·493 members
Twilight didn't get her letter to Princess Celestia on time and has been kicked out of school. Obviously she is angry and while she is angry that her friends never took her seriously, it is the one who kicked her out she wishes to exact revenge on.
A first person what if scenario told by Twilight.
Tagged AU for out of character Celestia and an alternate ending for "Lesson Zero."
Page generated in 0.077 seconds
Total duration
900 users online
347,202 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well, if you think she said it as a joke or just hoping you learned something, but you forgot about it, you spent months without knowing anything, waking up being stabbed. Well I would have that surprise, that you put a situation that is angry with everyone good ... and not realize that part was their fault. Just blaming everything on someone, is something that many do. The situation she started it but the punishment was exesive, as no one opposes celestia forget one of the consequences, I think, but if you write stories where twilight is angry with all. Well I think the going is going to be very bad. But for the 3 syndromes she had. I hope more and by the way I like my hand up.
I have a suggestion, write a story where an eclipse does free Twilight. (Aug. 21 perhaps?) What you choose to have happen to her is your choice BUT I would suggest you have her reformed the way Nightmare Moon was. Perhaps have Luna forgive her and have her friends admit to her that they should have taken her problems seriously.
The pacing seems very rushed...
One minute, Twilight was being punished, the other we saw her after a few months living with Rarity (and no explanation was given why... I mean, seriously - you would think that Element Of Magic, could easily find a good job and live on her own). The next minute, she is already stabbing Celestia, and then it's THE END.
Also, the story seems very linear - no plot twists, etc. Honestly, when I was reading the second chapter, I was like "OK, so now something is going to happen! Celestia will tell her this was a joke, or that she is immortal and can't be killed by stabbing or something" but nothing did
So, some friendly suggestions for the future:
1. Expand, don't rush.
2. If something seems odd, try to explain why (Twilight living with Rarity for months, not renting her own house etc.)
3. Add plot twists!
Hope this helps
How? I thought Celestia was dead.
I hope they don't do anything too harsh to Twilight. It's her fault that Twilight snapped in the first place.
Something I don't understand, shouldn't Princess Luna understand how Twilight Sparkle feels as Princess Celestia didn't try to understand her when she turned into Nightmare Moon and banished her to the moon. As someone who felt anger first hand and because Twilight was the 1st person to forgive her, shouldn't she forgive Twilight and together find a way to bring Princess Celestia back? Also Princess Celestia died way too easily and she could've easily defused the situation and calm Twilight down without bad stuff happening.