Chapter 1
After years of friendship. After years of work, and fun along the way, the Cutiemark Crusaders finally discovered their true destinies. To help ponies get their cutiemarks, yet, the marks on their flanks symbolized that they would forever be friends.
They would never fall apart.
Even after fights they had, they would always come back to each other. Even after spending the day without each other, they would always come running back. They felt an ache. An aching pain, something in their heads that told them, whispered to them, to stay together. They did, having many good laughs and many good times. Helping others and helping each other.
But when they were apart, they felt sick. They felt that pain return, and the longer they were apart, the stronger it became. The more their legs felt weak and the more their heads felt heavy. They spent more and more time together, as they knew about the pains.
But at night, slumbering in their beds, the fillies would become afraid. They would whisper in their minds to each other. Scootaloo would ask for her only true family to return, the ones who were like sisters to her, just the same for them all. They felt like sisters. Like a family.
"I miss you guys."
"I know Scootaloo. Do you- do you ever get that feeling?"
"What feeling? Are you talking about the pains?
"You feel them too?"
"Whenever we're apart."
"It just doesn't make sense y'all! I felt them after getting our cutiemarks! Th- the pain is worse. It's bad! I'm farther away from both of you, it's really bad! Applejack gave me medication for the pain but- It's not helping..."
"We do this every night! We'll see each other in the morning! Just, go to the clubhouse right away!"
"Goodnight. See you soon."
But soon, Applebloom's pain worsened until she couldn't stay anymore. She ran through the darkness, her vision blurred and her legs in burning pain. She didn't have to look to see where she was going. She could sense Sweetie Belles presence as she neared the carousel boutique.
Sweetie Belle woke in a start, sitting up and knowing Applebloom was near. She felt her get closer and closer in every second, and the pain in her joints had become lesser. She hopped out of her bed to go the door to greet her midnight guest. She opened the door before Applebloom even knocked on it, and gasped when she saw her friend.
She was missing her usual bright bow, her hair was messy and tangled.
Pouring from her eyes and mouth was not tears and saliva, but blood.
Her sunset orange eyes had lost their sparkle. Had reddened from the stress and pain she had endured. Her breaths were ragged and heavy.
Sweetie grabbed her and took her inside. Putting a white hoof around her friend.
"What happened?"
Instead of speaking out loud, Applebloom spoke through her mind directly to Sweetie Belle, shutting off her conversation from Scootaloo as to not disturb her in her sleep.
"The pain was too much. It's gotten worse."
The Cutiemark Crusaders spent more and more time together. Sometimes just huddling together in their clubhouse to relieve themselves from the pain. But after many weeks, Applejack made Applebloom come with her on an apple delivery.
Apple bloom refused to go, but missed spending time with her older sister. Applejack put her in the cart, and the Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle watched their friend get farther and farther away, tears streaming down her face as she yelled for Applejack to stop.
"No more whining' ya hear!"
The two fillies felt an ache in their stomachs and their legs growing weak as Applebloom and Applejack disappeared into the woods.
They were gone for two days. Two agonizing days, as hours by hours went by, the two's pain grew stronger. Word got back that Applebloom had gotten into severe pain and had been hospitalized at wherever they had been delivering.
They could hear Applebloom screaming for help in their minds, telling the nurse that medication would not help, and that she needed to see her friends.
The two fillies had grown more tired and weak, and rushed through the forest, searching and searching for the place. Feeling, sensing that they were getting closer to her.
They discovered a small town beyond the forest, finding the hospital, and rushing inside. Already, their pain had gone down increasingly and their heartbeats slowed.
They asked for the Appleblooms room, and found Applejack, pacing outside the door in the clean white hallway of the hospital. Above her, the light flickered, and her face was nervous and pale.
"Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle?! What are y'all doing here?!"
"Helping Applebloom!" Scootaloo cried, forcing the door open and rushing in with Sweetie Belle.
The door shut, and a nurse looked up from her clipboard.
"I'm sorry, who are you? Friends? Family? You should've told us you were coming to visit."
"Friends." They said at the same time.
"Okay well-"
Apple bloom suddenly sat up. Gasping for air and coughing. Her face was covered in blood, and it only smeared when she rubbed her cheek.
She was suddenly filled with energy and joy, at the sight of her friends. The pain that had been bothering them all day had faded at their close proximity.
"Girls!"
Applebloom exclaimed.
The nurse gasped. "B-but how? You were unconscious, you were going to die!"
She rushed out of the room, "I'll get the doctor. Stay here!"
She shut the door, and the friends were left alone together.
"Applebloom... Are you okay?" Sweetie asked.
She nodded.
"It feels... bad. It seems like we have to stay closer than ever now."
Applebloom said worriedly.
"Over time, it's gotten worse the farther apart we are."
Sweetie said, shaking her head in confusion. She gripped onto a tissue with her magic, and brought it to Appleblooms face, where she wiped off the blood.
Applebloom looked down. "But... We can't be together all the time."
"We can't." Scootaloo added "We won't be able to be with any pony else... If this continues to the point where we can't even be 10 feet apart."
"We can't be with any pony else..." Sweetie said, "What if- what if I don't want to be with any pony else... Maybe this'll bring us closer together!"
Scootaloo and Applebloom looked at each other, there desires to be together were strong, but they couldn't believe Sweetie Belle. It sounded as if she didn't want to spend time with her own sister.
"But, I have to become a better flier. Rainbow is going to help me! I- I can't skip that!" Tears welled in Scootaloo's eyes, and every pony began to worry.
"Come on Scootaloo!"
Rainbow Dash yelled encouragement, but even though she knew Scootaloo was a weak flier, she had seemed weaker than normal.
Scootaloo's body was tired, she could barely flap her wings. She was separated from her friends. Even though she loved Rainbow Dash, the pony she had looked up to for years, she felt a sudden desire to abandon her.
Scootaloo did not want to be here. She felt no care for Rainbow Dash any longer. She did not want Rainbow in her life any more.
She only wanted her friends. She only wanted to fulfill her destiny. That is what the cutiemark whispered to her. That is what it told her.
She hated Rainbow Dash.
Scootaloo stopped flapping her wings, bloody tears filled her eyes as her desire to be with her friends greatened. As her separation from her friends caused her physical and emotional pain.
"I don't need you! You aren't helping me! I will never fly and I accept that, just get away from me!"
Scootaloo ran, towards sweet apple acres, the pain fading slowly as she sensed Applebloom.
Applebloom! Where is Sweetie Belle?"
She's with Rarity. I reckon a sisters day. But... She's been talkin' to me and doesn't sound too happy to be anywhere near Rarity.
Did they have a fight?
"No."
I can hear you two! Get me out of here! Rarity is being annoying, she won't let me be with you girls today!
"She doesn't understand us. She never will."
"The same happened with Rainbow and I! She wanted to 'help' me! She was only separating us. Do you think they're trying to cause us pain?"
"Girls, we can't just-"
"I think they know... I hate Rarity!"
Scootaloo arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, to find Applebloom awaiting her arrival.
They hugged, and Applebloom asked her to go to the clubhouse. Scootaloo nodded in agreement.
She noticed blood dripping down her friends face, and when she touched her cheek, she felt warm sticky blood on her own face. Staining from how common this had become at this point. But now it not only came from their faces and sometimes mouths, but now their ears and nostrils too.
Applebloom and Scootaloo sat in the clubhouse, waiting for Sweetie Belle.
"Hurry up Sweetie Belle!"
"I'm almost there!"
Scootaloo looked up at Applebloom, "I think we have to stay here for a while. When Sweetie gets back, we stock up on food. Get blankets."
Apple bloom nodded.
"We are not leaving the clubhouse for a long while."
Sweetie Belle entered. More blood than all of them combined was on her face, her coat, her hooves.
"Sweetie... Belle?" Scootaloo asked.
Her breathing was heavy, and her bright green eye glinted disturbingly rather than her usual cheerful look. Her teeth were grit angrily.
"Rarity isn't dead. At least I don't think so."
"What are you talking' about?" Apple bloom asked in surprise. "You hurt her?!"
"She would not stop going on and on, talking and talking. Oh Sweetie, do look at this gorgeous dress! I've been wanting to punch her in the muzzle for a long time."
"That doesn't sound like you." Scootaloo scooted away from the door and Sweetie.
"You know what I said earlier. They know Scootaloo! They want to cause as much pain to us as possible, they're doing this girls! Our own families have betrayed us, tormented us. Why shouldn't we give them a taste of their own medicine?"
Scootaloo thought for a moment, it... It made sense in a way. Another part of her, a small part of her said it didn't make sense, but... It had to be true.
Sweetie Belle was her friend. Applebloom was her friend. They cared about nothing else now.
They went into Appleblooms home, wandering through the halls close together. Apple bloom pointed in one room.
"I know there are sheets in a closet in here. You girls look in that room for other stuff we might need."
She walked into the room, and Sweetie and Scootaloo walked down the hall to the other room. But when they stepped in the room, they heard ringing in their ears and felt blood spilling out.
They covered their ears, pulling them down, and going back to where Applebloom was.
Applebloom lay on the floor, blood flowing from her ears, her mouth, her eyes. Her expression was unfocused and froth came from her mouth like she was some wild animal. She gulped, standing back up and looking at the girls, her eyes bloodshot and teary.
"Let's... Search together."
They eventually grabbed food, blankets, and other things they may need. Going into the clubhouse and locking it shut.
Dropping everything on the floor, they sighed in unison.
Scootlaoo closed all the curtains, pointing out that it was already getting late. They layed out 3 blankets, and slept on them for the night.
Sunlight leaked through the small openings through the curtains, blinding Applebloom when her eyes opened. She felt like she had barely slept. She looked at the other sleeping girls, and looked around the room, barely remembering where she was and the events of yesterday. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, but when she took her hooves away from her eyes, they came back smeared with blood.
But why? We're all in the same room together! This shouldn't be happening!
Applebloom looked closer at her friends, noticing they too had blood coming from every opening. They were spread out through the room, did this mean they had to be closer than ever now?
Applebloom began to panic. It felt like the walls were closing in on them, she felt claustrophobic. She needed fresh air.
She took a deep breath in, and unlocked the door quick, running outside and falling to the bright green grass in pain. Her ears rung and her vision blurred, but she could barely feel the two sets of hooves on her, picking her up, and setting her back in the clubhouse. Her vision quickly cleared up, the blood stopped flowing out, as the two young mares kept their hooves on her.
"We can't leave." Sweetie coughed. "We have to- stay together, and now... we really can't leave each others sides."
She sat down, looking at the floor, tears and blood mixed and fell down her face.
They all sat together on the floor, looking at one another.
Scootaloo looked around the room, and her eye caught what she was looking for. She gestured her hoof, and the two followed rather closer than normal to the stand. Sitting atop it was a shiny knife.
"Grabbed it when we were in the kitchen."
She said, sliding her hoof across the shiny surface, looking up at them.
"I have an idea. We have to stick together right? What if we each take a piece of us..."
She slid the knife over her leg without hesitating. If she felt pain she wasn't showing it. She sliced off a thin piece of skin, watching it bleed down her leg.
"... And stay together."
She pressed the thin flesh to Applebloom's chest, and Applebloom held it there.
Apple bloom and Sweetie Belle looked at Scootaloo with a sudden hope and curiosity. A hunger to finally be free of the pain.
Apple bloom put Scootaloo's flesh on her back, blood dripping down and staining her light coat. She snatched the knife from Scootaloo's hoof, and cut her leg quickly. Too quickly, and cut off a bigger chunk than she meant to. She cringed, trying to contain herself and the pain. It wasn't terrible, they had all gotten so used to the pain at this point they hardly felt that anymore. But cutting deep into her own leg still hurt like fire and came a burning pain.
She cut off another from another leg, this time a hind leg, carefully cutting this time, and handed the knife to Sweetie Belle, who grasped it i her light green magic.
Sweetie, almost gracefully, cut off two chunks of her own flesh, the first from her leg, and the second one she decided to be more creative.
"I like doing pretty designs, maybe I'll just..."
She dug the knife into her chest, and the others watched curiously, as Sweetie cut a crudely shaped heart, meeting the cut where she started, and cried out in pain and joy as she dug out the heart, leaving a large heart shaped bloody gash in her chest.
She gasped, tears and blood pouring down her cheeks. A smile slowly spreading across her face.
"It- It's a pretty heart." She choked out between heavy breaths and gasps. Her voice came out raspy and painful.
She gave the heart to Applebloom, who took it hesitantly, but tried to look grateful with a fake smile.
Sweetie smiled back.
Scootaloo took the knife to cut off another part of her leg, and gave it to Sweetie.
They all now had a piece of each other.
They continued to stay in the clubhouse. Carrying around each others flesh had seemed to work well for a day, but no longer worked after that.
They sat together, huddled on the floor. Twitching and sobbing from the pain. They had to be touching. Not nearby, not close, not even standing next to each other. Touching.
They had their hooves pressed together. The pain was less, but it was still there.
Applebloom felt that she had endured it the most. The other girls didn't know what she had been through. She had it the worst. At this point all of them wanted to be together. They no longer cared for their families or anypony else.
The only thing that mattered was each other. That little voice that whispered to them that they only needed each other. Their cutiemarks. To fulfill their destinies, their dreams, their purpose.
But Applebloom still felt something for her family. Applejack. She just wanted to be happy. They could not be like this forever. They could not stay like this, it wouldn't work. Apple bloom felt an idea forming in her head. A terrible idea. One that made her sick, but at the same time appealed to her. She found herself eyeing the bloody knife once again, and the sparkle in her eyes returned to her. Not a spark of joy which she had originally, but a different sparkle. A devious sparkle of hope.
Blood stained the floor of the Cutiemark Crusaders clubhouse.
A knife, emerging from a lifeless white corpse. A body of a young pegasus lay nearby, her bright purple eyes dead and cold. Yes, all the Cutiemark Crusaders were gathered here, all their bodies were here. But only one lived, all of them cold and empty. Drained of any feeling, any life or rational thoughts. The earth pony dropped the knife. Even as she stepped away from her former friends, she still felt a burning desire to be close to them. She still felt blood pouring from every opening. She still felt the pain.
Her ears rung and her vision blurred. She could barely walk from the deep cuts in her legs. But what she could see were the colts. The colors of what she recognized as the train. A loud whistle screamed in her ears, not only the scream of the train, but the screams of her friends. Who were now beyond the grave, yet they still screamed in her mind. Speaking to her. Screaming in agony and pain, asking why she had killed them.
They now lived within her head. They were forever connected. And it would stay that way, even after death.
Nothing could separate them.
They had journeyed and tried so hard for so many years. Working towards their goal to discover their destinies. But in the end, those destinies, their own achievements had killed them. Slowly destroying them, ripping them apart while keeping them together. The walls closed in on them until one snapped. Unable to handle the torture further.
That young mares gaze left the track, and she looked up slowly to smile and greet the bright light of the train.
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Is marking it incomplete correct? It doesn't feel to me like there's more to be said.
Did enjoy; have an upvote...whenever it shows up.
8178795
Oops! Forget to set it to complete! Thanks for the reminder
I liked this story. There's a couple of missing apostrophes, but aside from that it was a lovely twisted read.
Poor Apple Bloom always gets the insane existential horror stuff.
8178805
Aaw yes, always gotta have a couple minor errors. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
You've got a really neat idea here!
Problem is, most of the escalation doesn't feel believable in the slightest, nor do many of the actions of the characters. For instance, why would the CMC's first response not be to tell somepony what was happening? Instead, they keep it a secret for no apparent reason, which just ends up making their lives miserable.
Slow down, focus more on build up, and thoroughly think out the logical choices the characters would make.
This was bittersweet af
The idea is great, but the execution is kinda lacking. The pacing is off and coloured dialogue doesn't look very professional. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased too, but overall, the story isn't bad.
8179315
Thanks. I know I struggle with 3rd person writing, (normally I write in 1st) but thanks for the critisism, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
While the story could be improved, the idea was great! I enjoyed it.
Maybe getting an editor would help make it even better.
8179475
Thank you! I might get an editor to help with future stories. I'm glad you enjoyed it
I think this might have worked better as a longer, maybe multi chapter story with a bit longer progression, but it was a good idea, and it captured my interest.
8180051
Thank you. I know it was a bit short, I'll work on making my stories longer in the future.
Longer and more defined would've worked better, but still a great story and interesting idea. Cursed cutie marks that literally connect you for eternity... Bloom and Gloom on steroids!
You know, it actually started off very well, but quickly jumped off the rails. Needs a serious amount of work.
Looking forward to reading the sequel!
So, it's litterally a story where they become a collective?......
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/tomska/images/7/77/I_LOVE_IT.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20131127110654
I'm a big fan of anything horror, and I have to tell you.... this is the best thing ive read all freakin day. Grade A horror! Great work man! Keep It up!
This was really fucking good. I don't think it's something that I'd go back and reread, but it's a great story. You characterize the CMC very accurately here. The only thing I can comment on that seemed a bit out of place was Applebloom being the one to kill her friends. Her will power had seemed the strongest, and I really feel like Scootaloo would have been more fitting to be the killer. But that's just my opinion.
The only other negative thing I can really comment on is your inconsistency. Sometimes you type Apple Bloom; sometimes you type Applebloom. And the grammar is also a bit off with the dialogue. You don't start a new paragraph just to add "She said" or whatever. It isn't really chilling or scary, if that was your intention. However, the fic itself certainly had a chilly air to it. I think you might need an editor though; there are too many mistakes here to point out, but here's one from the description:
Mean. The symbols (plural) on their flanks mean (plural) something.
An overall good idea executed fairly well and with subtle "scares." Definitely worthy of the Horror tag.
poor cmc, rest peacefully now the quite has come.
This story was fucked up. Like seriously fucked up.
Wow. Maybe I could incorporate bits of this into a story...
8178829
This is what I term 'Anon-a-Miss syndrome'. A lack of willingness to explain your true feelings and thoughts, and instead just go a different path, which in both cases leads to self destruction.
The core idea of this story is similar to the Eldar Wraithknight. The Wraithknight is controlled by one person and the souls of its prior pilots. But when the pilot enters the machine, he or she may not leave the machine and must remain next to them at all times. No wonder they go mad, just like AB does here.
8455700
This is the sort of horror that's hard to do; creeping dread rather than gore. The descriptions of blood and body injuries got a bit tedious though...
9212004
Why are you replying to everyone.
9212013
Oops! I must have pressed the wrong button.
I sense a polygamous lesbian relationship coming! It'll be so much fun!
9224385
This story suddenly makes this song seem so much more sinister:
This was great!
9130547
I love your MLP fanfic readings! Your accent is so pretty and makes the stories better. 🇬🇧
I'm surprised they didn't just cut their cutie marks off.
THEORY: The Magic behind the CMC's Cutie Marks were actually trying to bring the three of them together to become a new Alicorn Princess through Fusion.
derpicdn.net/img/2019/6/18/2069149/medium.png
music to jam to when you run into a oncoming train after murder your two best friends
The plot was pretty good, though there were quite a few grammatical errors and unnecessary breaks in paragraphs when they spoke. The story feels a tad rushed, but overall was not a bad read.
lil miss rarity
Ok listen, I'm all for dark stories but GOD DAMN WHY TAKE SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A CUTIE MARK AND TURN IT INTO SOMETHING WORTHWHILE?!?!?!!?! It's actually amazing!
10810124
chills