• Member Since 13th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 21st, 2017

BaroqueNexus


I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. Hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon.

E

Applejack is no stranger to death, but when Applebloom contracts a terminal disease, she will do anything, even walk in the valley of the shadow of death, in order to say goodbye.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 37 )

Awwww man.
My Heart.
Now if you'll excuse me, i have to go buy more tissues.

:fluttercry::heart:

That sad. Honestly, greatly done, pure sadness. I'm impressed. Not many stories are sincerely sad. Though the ending was a bit cliche, it fit perfectly.

:applecry: This is amazingly written and it's very very sad... I love this story... Maybe can you make a story what happened after this?

Why do I read sad fics?

This story ends in such a sad way. Please forgive me for not having a soul, but I never cried during the whole story. I was mainly focused on how good the author wrote the story and it's mistakes. Sure My Little Dashie made me cry, but not this one. Even though I didn't cry, I loved the story.:scootangel: The potential is amazing and the character's emotions and reactions were amazing. I love it when Applejack swore. :rainbowlaugh: This story ended in such a way, I forgot that it was merely chapter 1. Keep up the good work.

Arrivederci:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

I would shed a manly tear at this (it does deserve it) but I am an unfeeling souless husk. Either way, I thought the Bible quote from above would fit if it was said by Applebloom to Applejack.

well, shit... :flutterrage:

Since when is Granny Smith Applebloom's aunt?

"...Granny Smith in, and the poor old mare nearly had a heart attack when she saw her niece in the hospital room, rotting alive."

I couldn't really get immersed into the story. You bring up some good, strong questions and expectations, but we don't see the payoff. I cocked my head and reread the four day timeskip twice because it confused me so much. The arrival of Dr. Goodmane was built up as a plot point, and just skipped over. Same with Zecora. I expected someone to go rushing out to find her. But after the suggestion, she isn't mentioned again. Could she do nothing? Did the staff not allow her to see Applebloom? Did she just say, "Yeah that sucks, but I'm all out of bucks."?

The bedside manner of the doctor's was distractingly brutal. Doctors can be blunt and insensitive, sure, but it was past my ability to suspend my disbelief that any doctor could say "something that doctors dream of someday encountering!" to the family of a terminally ill child. From the uncaring nurse in the front office, through all of the encounters with staff, they were unilaterally, for lack of a better word, mean.

I can understand Big Macintosh being too big for their suits, but AJ could fit in a hazmat suit. Its just another unanswered question.

Technically, the story was pretty sound. I didn't see any glaring issues with grammar. All and all, I'm neutral to it, I won't be affecting your rating either way.

:applecry::fluttercry::raritycry:super awesome story.love it.

:fluttercry::applecry::raritycry: AAAAHHH! THE FEELS!

HHW

this is a sad story:fluttercry:

Hmmm, I know the ending is supposed to be sad, but it came out as just a dumb gesture. If she wanted to be near her when she died and NOT die too, couldn't she have just asked for a hazmat suit? Like they said at the beginning they could? Also, what happened with the Zecora route? You mentioned it but never addressed it. And to top it off, if they were putting her in quarantine with suits, it means that the disease is airborne: alas, AJ may not be the only other person who could also die because of that stunt.

Also, cutie mark crusaders. Or any other classmates, or cherilee. Wouldn't they have at least come by the hospital to visit? You didn't even mention them.

So, yeah. The piece is decently written... Until the end.

Meinos Kaen

889197 Applejack, Rainbow Dash and who knows how many other ponies die because they released a lethal airborne infection. Not pretty, but logical.

Meinos Kaen

If this flesh eating bacteria is so rare, how did they diagnose it? You make it sound like something you would only read about in a passage in a text in med school, making it even harder to diagnose. And what about antibiotics? Had the infection just progressed so far that an amputation wouldn't stop it? did it just go systematic? And how did the infection go so long without being detected?

Oh, and in the middle of the fic you wrote "Four days passed, and she became gotten even worse." which makes no sense. I think you mean either "she became worse" or "she had gotten worse." not both.

..Why do you make me cry? :fluttercry:
Amazing story.

...Why do I always read stories about tragedy in the Apple family? They're my favourite collective in the entire show.
Maybe that's how much I care for them as characters...
Poor Apple Bloom... :fluttercry:

Honestly, I think Pinky Pie would be all too aware of death. So the only thing she could do was try to reduce the pain. (sniff) Just saying.

Knife through the heart man that really hit me hard. :fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry: RIP Applebloom

899312

That could be it. Either she's intentionally suppressing the notion of death, in a feeble attempt to cheer everyone else up (she IS the element of Laughter, unless I'm mistaken). OR something happened to Pinkie Pie that scarred her, and a strange reflex in her brain caused her mind to completely forget about death.

Whatever the case, it's definitely a mental suppression thing going on.

Wow, excellent writing. Story is strong, and emotional, yet not overwhelming (at least to me). And the few continuity issues do not detract from it- just makes Applebloom's situation seem more hopeless. :fluttercry:

well done!:yay::eeyup:

Very sad. Still Tearing up.:fluttercry:

I can't help but wounder why I red stories like this................I loved it, sadly I didn't cry for some reason, but I love it.

Yet I couldn't help but wounder, where was Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo in all of this?

I find your portrayal of the medical system distasteful, but recognise its importance to the story. Overall, your writing is quite good, but I didn't think this story was too spectacular. I think I've watched too many medical dramas for this to have much effect on me. The characters were in line, dialogue was decent, no huge mistakes (besides when Apple Bloom "became gotten even worse"), but the outcome just didn't generate any feels with me.

1362875 Yeah, I know that feel. This was a bit rushed, I'll admit. :derpytongue2:

1369235 I'm familiar with the issues that always crop up in sad stories. Keeping things in focus is always my big challenge, sometimes I think that expansion makes a story better, when often it doesn't. Like I said, there are no discernible issues here, it just seems a bit shallow to me.

1369596 A better story would be The Pony in my Pocket, or The Dead City. If you're a PewDiePie fan, I'd recommend "Pewdiepie Saves Equestria." But the Pony in my Pocket is my most 'famous' one, per se.

You almost made me cry DX </3 it broke my heart! It gave me a heart eating disease DX

:raritycry: How could you do this to Applebloom?! Waaaaaaaaaaaah!

1362875 I agree with his portrayal of the medical system, those doctors doesn't care about lives; just their career. "If I find this stain of virus, I get the credit! I found the cure, CREDIT IS MINE." They didn't even allow Applejack and her family, friends to see Applebloom for last time before she truly died.

2454902 It's great for fiction to portray doctors as cold and business like, but totally unrealistic and thus hard to accept as a premise.

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