• Published 14th May 2017
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A Mother's Burden - Shadowmane PX-41



Twilight Sparkle is a mother of five powerful little babies. This can only end so well...

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A Sour Playdate

Alright. So as it turns out, having a playdate a few weeks after you have kids isn't as pleasant as you'd think it would be. Sure, it's nice to let your babies meet other little monsters of the same age, but if you might recall, I have five babies with me. Five plus two is seven, so that means that we not only had our own kids to deal with, but also Pinkie Pie's little rascals, Pound and Pumpkin Cake. Christ, it felt like I was a caretaker at a day-care rather than being at home...

Now before I start with the retelling of today's explosion of madness, allow me to get this off my chest: I'm not against any of my listeners getting a job at a day-care center. It might seem like I had trouble dealing with these seven babies today, but that shouldn't dissuade any of you from doing it yourselves. Plus, unlike me and Flash, you would get paid for handling infants. I was basically doing this whole thing for the good of not only my kids but for Pinkie's as well.


It was early in the morning and our kids were all playing in the living room. Sunset and Adagio were watching cartoons together, Starlight was busy with a large teddy bear, and me and Flash were busy with Trixie and Moondancer, cuddling them gently so that they didn't get into too much mischief. For that brief moment, everything seemed just peachy.

But then, who should come bursting through the door but Pinkie Pie. If you don't know who she is, she's one of my best friends. We met when we were in high school together, but I didn't pay her much notice on the first day. Once I did get to find out about her, I discovered that she's an over-energetic kid wrapped in the body of a 26-year old.

"Hi, Twilight! Hi, Flash!" She shouted as she came in and walked towards us.

In both of her arms were Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake; two more babies who were just a few months older than my own kids but were still under a year old nonetheless. They both sucked on their thumbs as Pinkie came in and didn't do anything else until Pinkie sat them down on her own legs, bouncing them up and down to make them giggle.

"Hi, Pinkie." I waved sheepishly as Trixie groped by breasts and buried her face into my cleavage. What? It's a baby, so it's totally fine for one of those little things to get in there. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Oh, well, as it turns out, the day-care's got so many kids to handle today, that they've decided to give me the day-off so that they can let some of the other workers handle those kids." Pinkie reclined on the couch. "But I didn't want Poundy and Pumpy here to think that I wouldn't let them have at one day without playing with other babies, so I decided to bring them to you and your kids instead."

"Well, that's nice of you, Pinkie, but we're fine as it is." Flash put his hands behind his head. "Sure, these girls might be hard to control at times, but we're still pulling through."

"Plus, with your two babies playing with our five, it's like you're turning our home into your work." I eyed Pinkie up as I pulled Trixie out of my chest. "Don't you want to have one day off from playing with babies, Pinkie Pie?"

"Nope!" Pinkie shook her head. "Babies are super-fun to play with and always a great thing to see when you're feeling saddy-waddy or if you're a stressed mess." She always spoke like that. Don't try and question it. It's just who she is. "That, and I've let Pound and Pumpkin meet all of the babies at the day-care centre, but I never really introduced them to your kids."

"Well, do you think that you could do it another day?" Flash leaned over. "We never really get any time to ourselves anymore with these five kids. In fact, we're especially lucky that they've been extra well-behaved today."

"Usually, by now, I'm having to run around changing one of the kids or stopping them from eating something that'd make them feel really sick," I added, hoping that it would have swung things in our favour. "I don't think you'd want to see the two of us stressed out, would you, Pinkie?"

"Aw, c'mon, sourpuss. Learn to live a little." Pinkie Pie was being extra playful that day, as it turned out. I could tell from the way that she nudged me that she was going to make sure that everything worked out fine. "If the babies do start to cry and cause chaos, you've got an extra pair of hands to help you out. It'd be us three handling seven; which is much better than two with seven, if you ask me."

"Hmm... I suppose that you could be of some help." Those words? Those words right there? NEVER say them if you've got five babies and someone wants to add more to the mix. But I was a stupid girl at that time and I didn't want Pinkie Pie to feel sad. "Alright, Pinkie. We'll give you a chance, but I don't want your kids to be a nuisance."

"Don't worry. We're not gonna be a bother." Pinkie blew a raspberry and tipped her hand at me and Flash. "How much trouble could seven babies be?"


As it would turn out, seven babies can be a living hell. All that was missing was Satan, the heavy metal music, the screaming souls trapped for eternity, and the rivers of pure lava...


Pound and Pumpkin are great kids, I'm sure, but today, they were just really unbearable. First, Starlight refuses to share the bear with Pumpkin, then Pound decides to push Sunset over and sit on her body, just as he began to poop his diaper. A sodden diaper is one thing to make a baby upset, but to have one right in your face is a much bigger story. Sunset exploded with tears once the browned undergarment touched her face. I had to spend most of the time after that comforting her.

As me and Flash had to scramble handling the kids, Pound and Pumpkin weren't being any help either. They were picking magazines and coasters up from the coffee table and threw them all over the place, blowing raspberries at them once they hit the floor. It would've been cute if it weren't for the fact that they were causing a mess in my house.

"Pinkie Pie! You said they wouldn't be a problem!" I chided, patting Sunset Shimmer's back gently.

"I'm sorry, Twilight!" Pinkie barrel rolled to pick her children up. She darted up the stairs to what I could only imagine was my room as she left me and Flash to deal with our children.

"Don't worry, Sunset. We're here for you..." Flash had generously helped me in calming Sunset down. We're never gonna let her remember this day when she grows up. It'd be much too embarrassing for her.

Even after all of our hugs and kisses, Sunset was still crying and moaning. We tried all sorts of methods to make her happy. Silly faces, belly raspberries, but none of it seemed to work. The power of a soiled diaper crushing your face is apparently too traumatising for a baby, as it would seem.

"I'm going to give her a pacifier." I said, already going off to the room. "If any of the other kids start to scream and cry, let me know."

"Alright." Flash gave me a wave as I trekked up to the bedroom to find Sunset Shimmer's pacifier and calm her down. "And if Pinkie Pie comes back, make sure that Pound and Pumpkin Cake are kept under control. We don't want any more little incidents like that."

The good thing with babies is that when you're able to control them easier, the entire process of handling them becomes a breeze. Me and Flash both knew what would make our children happy and what would keep them from exploding. Even though she was practically crying her eyes out of their sockets, Sunset still loved a pacifier in her mouth. Once we made it back into the nursery, I picked hers up and plopped it in, not even noticing that Pinkie was still changing Pound, who was refusing to get his new diaper on.

"C'mon, Pound! You've always loved diapers until today!" Pinkie whined as she tried to get it on him, but to no avail. "On auntie Twilight's playdate, the least that you could do is co-operate with me!" All that I could hear after that was another raspberry from Pound's mouth.

"Pinkie Pie? Not to sound a bit rude or anything, but could you control your kids a little more?" I asked, turning to face her and Pound. "I mean, Pound unloaded a poop right onto Sunset's face. The poor dear would've cried all day unless her pacifier was here to calm her down."

"I'm really, really, REALLY sorry, Twilight." Pinkie Pie swiftly diapered Pound Cake. She was moving so fast that it was impossible for me to keep track of how she did it. "I didn't mean for them to be that badly behaved. They're usually so super-de-duperly good when they play with other kids."

"Then why's the one day that they'd want to be this rambunctious?" I lifted my eyebrow.

"I don't know. Pound and Pumpkin never misbehaved until now." Pinkie carried Pound into his arms and gently rocked him back and forth "It's a real rocky start to our playdate, huh?"

"That's an understatement if ever I heard one." I deadpanned and crossed my hands.

"Come on, Twilight. You know that I'm good on this kinda stuff." Pinkie Pie tried to settle her case and excuse Pound and Pumpkin's little mishaps. Had I not been friends with her, I wouldn't have usually forgiven her. But we had done a lot of things together and I knew that she wouldn't do it on purpose. "Just trust me on this. Together, we're gonna not only control our kids, but we're gonna have lots of fun watching cartoons together, doing finger painting, playing with stuffed animals, you name it!"

"Pinkie Pie, how long have we been friends?" I gave her a gentle smile. "We've gone through a lot together as friends. I'm not going to let your babies' behaviour get in the way of our friendship. The same could be said for the other girls if they ever get kids."

"Thanks, Twilight." Pinkie Pie gave me a smile and shook my hand. Together, the two of us went back down the stairs with our quiet kids in hand.

For some reason, as we were walking down, both Pound Cake and Sunset Shimmer were looking towards each other and gave themselves gentle smiles. I didn't notice until we were halfway down and looked down at them both. I couldn't work it out, but if I could understand babies, then I would've guessed that they were becoming friends.

"Twilight!" Flash called from the living room, prompting us both to run and check out what was happening.

As it turns out, Pumpkin Cake was being even less hospitable than Pound was. Not only was she seen making a mess of the coffee table, but she was being attacked from all sides. Adagio and Starlight were throwing their toys at her in an attempt to knock her off while Trixie and Moondancer were crying in Flash's grip. And this is why you've gotta keep your babies in your sight at all times, ladies and gentlemen. If you don't, then this'll happen to you and your kids.

"Adagio! Starlight!" I ran over towards the children and gave Sunset back to Flash while Pinkie dropped Pound off next to her. I scooped my other children up and held them close to my chest as I watched them babble what could be considered 'Baby Insults' at Pumpkin Cake, shaking their little hands at her. "Girls! Calm down!"

But Adagio and Starlight just pushed their hands against my belly and slid down my legs like firefighter poles and crawled towards the coffee table, pulling themselves back up. They were about to crawl all over Pumpkin and punch her face, but I was able to pick them back up and hold them well away from the little visitor.

"Bad, bad, bad babies!" I carried both of them away and stuffed them into high chairs so that they wouldn't go off and try to hurt Pumpkin again. I looked into their little eyes with fire and wagged my finger at them both. "That's not the way we act to visitors! Especially your auntie's children! If you're going to grow up to make your own legacies, then you need to learn a few manners."

I guess that I shot myself in the foot with that line, as when I had finished it, both of them started to cry as loudly as they could, adding to Trixie and Moondancer's wails. Feeling my anger quelled almost instantly, I picked them both up again, but now they were frantically flailing to try and get out as they pounded their hands against my face and shoulders.

"No, no, no, no, no! My calm day's been ruined!" I cried as I dashed back upstairs to get the rest of the pacifiers to try and calm all of the children down. "Why of all days did it have to happen today?!"

I didn't even have a moment to spare, causing me to almost trip as I made it to the top of the stairs. Even after my fumble, both of my children were still mauling me as best as infants could as I grabbed both of their pacifiers and stuck them in their mouths. At least that was one of the only solaces that I could take from the day; that even when my babies are out of control, there's still an easy way to stop their wails. To make sure that I was prepared for everything, I took Trixie and Moondancer's pacifiers with me as well before charging out of the room.

As I came down the stairs, though, I found a rather odd sight. I was expected to come back to see the situation either worse or the same as before, but I saw the other babies all sitting together in front of the television, watching some cartoons together. Pinkie Pie was holding the remote and playing with them at the same time. I still can't put my finger on how she did it, though. Usually, my kids don't stop crying that easily unless their pacifiers are in their mouths.

"Hey, Twilight!" Pinkie waved from the TV with a wide smile on her mouth. "Told you everything'd work out in the end!" She somersaulted over the babies and sprung up to me, waggling her hips like she had a tail.

"Pinkie... I-I-I, wha? How did you—" I was just at a loss for words at everything around me. My kids were behaving, laughing at what was on-screen, playing together with each other. And all in just under fifteen seconds.

"Twilight. The first rule of handling babies is that they love fun." Pinkie raised her finger. "If you make it so that the babies have nothing but fun, then they won't ever feel saddy-waddy and make your lives miserable. Happiness is the best cure for sadness, as I always say."

"I know that. But how were you able to get them to stop crying?" I asked, leaning in close towards the children. "My kids don't usually stop crying that easily without their pacifiers. How you were able to get them to stop is just beyond me..."

"Silly Twilight. Babies only have fun if you're having fun making them have fun. That's a bit of a tongue twister, isn't it?" Pinkie laughed and picked up Sunset and Adagio, giving them big raspberries, making them erupt with laughter. "See? Put your back into making the biggest, fartiest, loudest raspberries you can on their bellies, and babies almost stop crying altogether. That, and you've just gotta have a big goofy smile like this!" She pulled a silly face and stuck her tongue out, making the two of them laugh even more.

"You've gotta hand it to Pinkie Pie. She's spend years working with kids." Flash smiled as he leaned back and watched the babies drool at the TV, with their minds solely focused on the nonsensical shenanigans that the cartoon characters were getting up to. "Between her and Fluttershy, I'm wouldn't be surprised if they could handle a hundred babies."

"Still, though, I can't believe that you handled all of this." I stepped forward and let Adagio and Starlight join the others in front of the TV. "That's... well, I don't even know how to explain it!"

"Amazing? Super-duper? A miracle when you needed it?" Pinkie listed them off using her fingers. "Go ahead. You can use any of those words. Or more, if you decide that you don't like 'em. I've also got incredible, wonderful, a relief, thank god that that's over, I'm glad to have you as a friend, Pinkie Pie, or even congrats, dude. Take your pick!"

"I think that thanks is all that I need." I gave Pinkie a small hug and sat down with the seven babies. I gave them all a massive hug, but they didn't seem to react as they were too busy with what was going on on the television.

Sure, I mentioned that it was hell, but even hell has its' sweet points. If I didn't have Pinkie, then it would've been one of those days. And let me be clear. I don't want one of those days anymore. Five babies is a great thing because of all the possibilities, but I wouldn't want my life to become miserable because of it. So, in the end, I really have to be grateful that I'm friends with Pinkie. Her expertise in handling infants was just what I needed on a day like this.

But... let's just say that the stuff after that wasn't so pleasant.

Pound! Pumpkin! Stop hurting Adagio-wagio! She didn't do anything wrong to you!

Pinkie! Get them off! They didn't do anything wrong!

I know, Twilight! I know! I don't know what came over them. There was something about a teddy bear or something and then they both snapped when Adagio took it off of them both!

Flash! Can't you help me with this?!

Twilight, I wish that I could, but I've gotta stop Moondancer and Sunset from breaking into the cleaning spray cupboard! Now, c'mon, you two! Don't you want to play with dad for a bit?

Ugh... Just fucking beam me up. Well. At least Trixie and Starlight are behaving. Ugh. And just as I say that, they poop themselves. That's just fan-fucking-tastic...