Toaster Waffles Are Magic

by TheMajorTechie

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA'S FUZZY PLOT IS THIS?!"

Twilight shrieked as she set hoof into her castle. Except... it wasn't exactly a castle anymore, but rather a large, BLT-shaped railgun mounted on an absurdly large golden statue of Twilight's head.

Also, the mare had yet to account for the fact that there were numerous ponies currently worshiping the conglomerate of weirdness.

Spike, who had been kneeling beside Celestia in worship of the ponies' newfound god, was the first to speak. "Twilight!" he shouted, running towards his adoptive mother with open arms, "You're back!"

Twilight glared at the railgun mounted atop the statue, then back at Spike. Statue, Spike. Statue, Spike. Statue, Celestia's glamorous plot, Spike.

"Back from... where?" she asked, nudging Spike gently aside to get a closer look at the monstrosity that sat before her.

"The dead!" Spike droned, waving his claws in the air for effect, "You've been dead for the past half a year!"

"What."

Spike turned to Celestia, who had already managed to sneak up on her former student and her assumed child. "It's true," she began, patting Spike on the head, "After you sacrificed your life to save the planet from certain doom during your battle with the Illegitimate Space-Goo child of FlackMarakaBakaSchlark, we recognized you as our one and only savior."

Twilight shook her head. "I don't understand!" She cried, "I know I've been alive all my life, and just this morning, I had a hamburger for breakfast!"

"A hamburger."

"Yes, Spike, a big, meaty, juicy hamburger." Twilight replied, rubbing her still-full belly with satisfaction.

Spike rolled his eyes. "And where did you get this hamburger from, anyways? I didn't expect my own adoptive, bookhorse mother to be the kind of mare that liked hamburgers."

SUDDENLY, NINJAS!

"Spike, why am I suddenly a ninja?"

Spike shrugged, turning about in attempt to find the direction Twilight was standing in.

"I have no idea," he replied, "and where are you, anyways?"

Twilight snickered from the ceiling.

"Oh well," Spike continued as he began to stroll away, "I guess you'll have to hear some other time of what's going on with the changelings."

"CHANGELINGS?!" Twilight cried as she dropped (rather ungracefully) from the ceiling, "I thought that they were reformed already!"

Spike turned to face Twilight, who was still faceplanted on the floor. "Yeah," he replied, "But Thorax decided to take a look through the portal and... um, cats happened."

Twilight snorted. "Cats?"

Spike help up a single photo of a Thorax-colored sentient cat.

"Yeah. Okay."

"Soooooo... what now?" Spike asked.

Twilight shrugged.

Spike shrugged as well, followed by pretty much every pony within a five mile radius of Twilight, for all ponies must follow in the hoofsteps of their Lord and Savior, Twilight Sparkle.

Naturally, Twilight facehoofed... followed once again by the mass populace. Because that's what sheeple do when they find a new deity. In her frustration, the mare screamed.

The following text is a textual representation of the text that would've been the actions that had occurred moments after a single purple bookhorse utilized her voice in a loud sense, resulting in her followers pursuing their goddess' level of godliness by repeating the action.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"

"WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?!" Twilight shouted back in frustration.

Comments

[James Fire]

I wish I was there, just so I could see this.

[iShatYouNot]

You sure did abuse that random tag.

[Gavier]

I like to eat Hamburgers too.