The Eggening
‘Twas another usual day in Ponyville, where citizens were counting days since the last disaster that had befallen their little quiet community. The sun was slowly being raised on the horizon because Celestia hated fun and thought we should all be productive members of society.
Octavia, the prim and proper pony that she was, of course woke up with the sun. She was very strict with her morning regime as it was the key for a productive day. Completely unlike her housemate and resident slacker Vinyl. Vinyl's sleeping habits were a bit of a mystery and when asked about it, she would merely shrug and mumble "wub".
And so Octavia opened her eyes, removed the blanket and was greeted by an odd surprise. An egg shaped surprise. Octavia blinked once. She blinked another time and the egg was stubbornly still there. She extended her hoof to touch the egg and lo it was really there. She blinked one more time just to be sure.
Eventually she loudly proclaimed, "Blimey! ‘Tis too early for this shite."
The culprit was obvious but Octavia had more important things to take care off first. It would be rather tardy of her not to first have a shower, brush her teeth and get dressed. And move the bloody egg somewhere else besides her bed.
After the morning ritual was complete, it was not hard to find the spot where Vinyl was sleeping. Today it happened to be on her soundboard. No doubt passing out after spending the night with it.
Octavia gently nudged Vinyl and whispered, “Vinyl.”
Vinyl lazily waved her hoof in Octavia’s direction.
“Vinyl, rise and shine.”
Vinyl again waved her hoof and this time she booped Octavia’s nose.
“Vinyl, wake up.”
Lazily Vinyl slightly opened her eyes.
Satisfied, Octavia proceeded with questioning the culprit, “Would you mind explaining to me why was there an egg in my bed?”
Vinyl merely rolled over, turning her back to Octavia.
Octavia’s eyes narrowed as she was losing her patience. “Oh don’t even pretend you don’t know. How else would an egg end up in my bed?”
Vinyl mumbled, “Chicken... egg laying.”
Octavia’s eye twitched a little bit. “Are you implying that I am a bloody chicken? YOU-“
Octavia stopped herself to regain her composure. Calmly she continued, “I will let your little jest slide for now. Now I am going to be making breakfast. You’ll have to wait a bit longer today as a consequence of your action.”
Satisfied, Octavia returned to her morning duties, leaving Vinyl still drooling on her sound board. Vinyl opened her eyes and with hoarse voice said, “You said something Tavi?”
Yet another day was up and all was same as before. Yes, Celestia still insisted on there being a sunrise and by some surprise there was still no disaster in Ponyville.
With the morning sunshine Octavia slowly opened her eyes. With a little yawn she removed the blanket and was ready to start her day. And then she saw an egg. She blinked once and as the egg was still there she decided to skip directly to touching the egg.
She sighed and facehoofed, “Bloody ‘ell, she did it again.”
After rushing through her morning routine, Octavia started searching for the guilty pony. This time she found her lying on the kitchen table. Some would wonder how this happened but Octavia did not care at the moment.
Not so gently she pushed Vinyl and with slightly higher voice spoke, “You placed an egg in my bed again you twat.”
Vinyl’s ear twitched as she slowly opened her eyes. Half yawning she spoke, “What egg?”
“The egg in my bed. The one you placed there. Again, if I might add.”
Vinyl stared confused at visibly irritated Octavia. Octavia stared back still expecting an adequate response. Eventually Vinyl decided to end the staring contest. With a smile she said, “Maybe you laid it?”
Octavia’s eye twitched.
Vinyl gulped and was just a tiny bit scared now. Then suddenly she blinked and started laughing. “Nice try Tavy, you almost got me. But you need to work on your pranking more if you want to trick a pro like me.”
Octavia was flabbergasted, “I beg your pardon?!”
Vinyl then explained, “Elementary my dear Octavia. You thought I would be caught off guard but you have to get up pretty early in the morning to pull one over me. Well unless you did actually lay an egg.
Unfortunately Octavia was not amused. “Fine then. You can make your own breakfast today instead.”
As Octavia walked away, Vinyl scratched her head in confusion but then decided to go back to sleep. Until she rolled over and fell from the table.
Same as before a new day dawned. Despite the petition being signed by the ponies of Manehattan there simply were not enough signatures to change Celestia’s mind and so sun was raised again. In Ponyville meanwhile there were worried whispers about town being too quiet.
Octavia opened her eyes and was already in a bad mood. She removed the blanket and again a new egg waited her. Skipping the blinking ceremony she angrily stomped out of her room to find Vinyl, only to remember that she had almost forgot to take a shower, brush her teeth, get dressed and so on.
Once done she searched and found Vinyl sleeping on the couch like an adorable little angel. For a tiny fraction of the moment she was proud of Vinyl for sleeping on something sensible for once. It didn’t stop her from shaking Vinyl to wake up.
Startled Vinyl yelled, “Hey what gives?”
Octavia with grim narrow look stared at Vinyl. She growled, “Seriously?”
“Yeah seriously. You know I have a train later today for Manehattan and I’ll be performing all night.”
“And yet you had time to plant an egg in my bed. And now you’ll proceed to imply that I laid it like a chicken.”
Vinyl rolled her eyes, “Well you are nagging like one.”
Octavia’s eyes were wide opened as she shrieked, “WHAT!”
Vinyl rubbed her eyes and sighed, “Listen, Tavi. I am real proud of you for trying to prank me but it really is not the time. Maybe some time later I can give you a few pointers.”
Octavia was fuming with rage. “I am not pulling a prank, you git. I know it is you who has been putting bloody eggs in my bed and I want you to stop with your childish behavior!”
“Look I’ll be gone for the weekend so if you are right then the eggs will be gone. Now if you will excuse me.” And with those words Vinyl covered her head and returned back to sleep.
Octavia huffed and stomped out while thinking of horrible ways of how to torture certain egg planting pony that happened to live under the same roof.
Of course a new day dawned. Celestia was suspicious by the lack of any complaints but nonetheless proceeded to raise the sun as planned. Meanwhile in Ponyville dark storm was brewing and everyone knew something bad was going to happen.
Octavia woke up; she tossed the blanket and saw an egg. Her eye automatically started twitching and she rushed out of her room. This time nothing was going to save Vinyl from her wrath. Enough was enough.
Octavia checked the Vinyl’s room and then proceeded to the kitchen, the living room and the bathroom until realization hit her. Vinyl was not home and if Vinyl was not home then she couldn’t have planted the egg. Octavia shivered as she realized that all this time it wasn’t her friend playing a prank on her. Someone has been sneaking into her room while she was sleeping. The very thought made her pale.
No, Octavia Melody had to steel herself. If someone dared to intrude her personal space she had to be ready.
And so the next day finally dawned. There was an attempted coup in Canterlot as angry ponies tried to stop Celestia from raising the sun but all they did was merely delay the inevitable. And in Ponyville a disaster struck but it was swiftly resolved by Princess Twilight and copious amounts of pancakes.
Octavia meanwhile was sitting on her bed motionlessly. Whole night she spent awake waiting for the mysterious intruder with her trusty attack cello by her side. As the late sun emerged through the window she winced.
Whole night and nothing happened. Well there was some screaming outside but Octavia learned long ago not to worry about that.
So she stood up and was ready to return to normalcy. Until she saw it. Nested beneath her. An egg.
Octavia slowly raised her head up. Her pupils shrunk and her right eye twitched wildly. She started giggling, which slowly grew into a mad laughter. She cackled like a maniac without making a break to take a breath.
And then she said, “Bwkak!”
‘Twas another usual day in Ponyville, and citizens once again were starting to count the number of days since the last disaster. The sun was slowly being raised on the horizon and no pony dared to speak up about it.
Vinyl was returning from her wild trip and after two days of no sleep she was exhausted. She was looking forward to just fall down and never wake up again.
So she entered her home and was surprised to see that it was rather messy. Well messy for Octavia’s quality standards. Curious was also that Octavia was nowhere to be seen and yet the sun was up and Vinyl knew that Octavia should be making breakfast right about now.
After checking the entire house Vinyl entered the Octavia’s room. Vinyl raised her glasses and then she blinked. She blinked once more just to be sure.
Octavia, completely disheveled, was sitting smiling on her bed. Her bed that was now a nest. Vinyl opened her mouth but no voice came out.
Octavia smiled at Vinyl and cheerfully spoke, “Vinyl so nice that you are back. Did you have a good time in Manehattan?”
Vinyl tried to produce words, “Tavi…whaaaat?”
Octavia just giggled, “I am sitting on my eggs you silly. The ones I have been laying for the past week. BWKAK!”
Vinyl nervously laughed, “Oh right the egg thing. Good work Tavi, you got me. You can stop now. Please?”
Octavia then stood up, revealing a cluster of eggs. “Vinyl I would like you to meet my little darlings. Aren’t they just adorable?”
Vinyl slowly backed up and closed the door. She tried to process what she has seen but her brain refused to function. She gave up and went to bed.
“Damn. It’s too early for this shit.”
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- chillbook1 · 3.3k words · 101 5 · 2k views
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This....this is funny.
You uploaded it? Didn't even give a warning... I see how you are.
It can be reviewed as well...
Nice you posted it. But now you have to write a story explaining how Twilight saved the day with pancakes.
While this was funny it feels like it needs an explanation, to me anyway.
Nice postmodernist vignette. Maybe closer to modernist dada.
Certainly interesting XD
8187415 I certainly hope so or else I made a mistake with tagging. Glad to hear it.
8187432 Well you know, first I uploaded but forgot the teen tag so got rejected and then had to reupload. Plus all that drama in discord. And well it got uploaded when I was sleeping.
Also nooo not the Deshy judgment
8187447 That will be a story for another time. Maybe.
8187736 You are not wrong but I just could not think of an explanation that would fit. I felt it was better to let readers use their imagination than provide a bad explanation.
8188018 Yes, totally intentional. E'yup...
8188172 Thank you
But Octavia's not a pegasus.
We need more. :D Plz give more? :D
Wat?
What have I just read? I like it but I am also confused.
8188322
How do you know she's not at least part pegasus? Maybe she has some great grandfather that was a pegasus or something.
well this was a story a very intresting story that made me laugh harder then i should of
8189045
That is indeed a distinct possibility. She could be a pegasus/earth-pony hybrid like Fluttershy and Scootaloo but without the wings.
There's also the rumor of Pinkie being a pegasus/unicorn hybrid without any external extras. Explains her odd abilities and desire to be airborne.
8190654
8189045
If you don't mind me dropping in, I have a theory also. Now I am sure most of us can agree that Octavia is from Trottingham. Which is located on Griffish isles (check the map). So I suggest that Octavia is a part griffon.
8190586 Mighty nice of you to say that.
8188946 An insane story prompted by a discussion from Insane Creators Guild. True story.
8188538 Duno, story feels finished to me. Working on next insane idea instead.
There are some issues with grammar and spelling, and the pacing is way too rushed for my tastes, but the concept is sound and it still works. Although personally I found the storyline about Celestia's mornings to be the best part. Also, the cockney accent put me off a little bit. But hey, still liked it. Thumbs up from me.
8190875 I'm just curious what happens when the eggs hatch. Random bird leaving eggs with Octy to hatch and she hatches bird eggs? Does she wake up one morning to find baby Octys, just causing more confusion? XD
8191674
8192188 :D It is 6:13 in the morning. You just made me giggle so high pitched I woke both of my dogs, who in turn woke my whole family. XD THIS IS WONDERFUL! :D
8191425 Ah well guess I missed some errors. And hey glad you found something enjoyable. The accent I guess was me forcing it a bit.
8194134 It is sort of. A failed attempt to make her struggle between being polite and angry. Feels more like she is just being inconsistent.
This story is amazing, loved every moment.
Well, I’m confused? How in the hay did she lay??
Also:
Just spotted this error and it’s the only one I found.
Okay, I confess, it was me...I put the eggs there!
I’m sorry...
Hrm... (noise of clearing throat) chop, chop. :)
Link to D Day.
Well... the beginning was a little confusing at first, branching into too many sub-plots at once. However, I really like the Celestia And Ponyville bits there, progressing with the story. I expected some explanation at the end, but I can't really blame you for the lack of it. After all, it's Random. Also, sleepless confused Vinyl is really great!
In the end, the only little problem I see there is Octavia swearing from the beginning. Sure, let her do so as she becomes more and more ruffled, but at the beginning she still seems like the classy collected mare that wouldn't even think of swearing.
8324017
Thank you kindly for the kind words. And yeah I agree with your assessment, I really shouldn't have made her say that in her first sentence.
And sleep confused Vinyl was really fun to write.
Read your story with some guest voice actors! Hope you enjoy it.
8592710
Wow, that was rather unexpected. Almost made me speechless. The good kind!
Yes, I enjoyed it very much and I can't express my gratitude. Thank you! And of course to the wonderful FluttershyFilly Yay, Izzy Fizzy and Midnight 29, I say awesome work from all of you. Honestly I never expected anything like this for something I wrote. Now I regret for being to lazy to write the part about the eggs hatching.
8593830
No problemo. I know your pain, as it took forever to edit this.
Why is Octavia played by Ron Weasley?
8651664
Well I was low on budget and wasn't picky when it came to hiring actors.
No, actually I was bored and found it amusing.