• Member Since 10th Feb, 2017
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Magi Tail Welkin


Born under Leo in the the Year of the Fire Rat. Christain. Englishman. Storyteller. A resident Thomas the Tank Engine fan and casual MLP fan (And a Flashlight fan too. You may start hating me now)


E

This story is a sequel to Silver Enlighenment


Ponyville and its surrounding area are to become its own nation, the Everfree Kingdom. Despite this life in the, reasonably, quiet town goes on. However, with some changes.

A reserve group of the Everfree Guard is formed, commonly called the Home Guard, and they get up to a few misadventures.

Muffins the Post Mistress find she needs a new post-pony, but the only, can he be called a pony? Anyway, the only, character, to take the job is one of the Reformed Changelings. But there’s also a mystery around this Changeling’s pet.

And a family from Canterlot must move to Ponyville in the safety of the new nation after the father mysteriously disappears. The three foals find themselves interested in the railway near their house.

As well as other smaller stories, here and there.

(Use of the name Everfree Kingdom courtesy of Jay the Brony. Other elements courtesy of Banshee531.) Will mention elements of Season 7.

Chapters (40)
Comments ( 73 )

Good story so far. Nice to see my Royal Knight idea is influencing others.

Quick question. Is this the story you asked to use jakhowls for?

I look forward to seeing the rest.

The pacing here is very off and there's a bunch of errors. Do you need an editor or proofreader? I could try to help you out if you want. PM me if you want to talk about this.

8156666 This is the Jakhowl one, but I'm using it differently to yours. You'll see.

Hmm...this really went all over the place. I'm still not sure about the tone of this story. Is it trying to go for comedy or just slice of life?

Okay, that kiss came on a little suddenly, but nice to have a little more backstory on Flash. So, if he's only twenty at the oldest and has been a guard for seven years, then he was only 13 when he joined the guard. Dang! Also, I was kind of expecting Twilight to give Flash a little more explanation on the chapel.

In addition to the spelling errors, I'm having trouble understanding the terminology. I think that's because of two reasons. One, I'm a civilian with no military background whatsoever. Two, I'm an American. (No offense to any British people.)

I got a very strong Dad's Army impression from this. Not sure if that was intentional or not.

8159927 Dad's Army was the inspiration for this subplot. It's one of my favourite sitcoms. I didn't know you watched it.

All the story following this subplot will be retellings of episodes. Though the Major is less Mainwarring in backstory.

Nice work connecting Discord and Jakhowls. Looking forward to more.

I mean this in the least offensive way to possibly mean what I'm about to say, but the way you write dialogue, especially for your OCs, reminds me of how Americans imagine British people talk. (No offense intended.) Your dialogue tends to be kind of long-winded, formal-sounding, and jargon-y (if that's even a word). I understand if you like that style of writing, but I personally am not used to it.

In regards to the actual story, it's not bad, but it hardly had anything to do with a changeling getting a job as a mail pony up until the last few paragraphs, and based on your description, I was expecting Muffins to have a larger role in the story. Not a bad start though.

8159950 It's just the way I write, I can't really change it, it just comes naturally to me.

The descriptions more an overview of the story as a whole. And Muffins will be recurring character in the Cipher subplot.

8159958 Don't worry. I'm sure I can get past that issue with time.

So , I'm guessing in your headcanon, elites were once rarely seen unclothed. :applejackunsure:

Before I forget, you're infusing a ton of British culture into this fic. It's not bad. I don' t quite always understand it right away, but I enjoy it nevertheless.

Okay. First Dad's Army and now I'm getting a Postman Pat vibe.

What's next...Beyblade?

8168595 How are you so knowledgeable about British entertainment? :rainbowderp: I don't know what any of those are. Except for Beyblade, and I'm pretty sure that one isn't British. :rainbowlaugh::twilightsheepish:

8168595 Not Beyblade, a British Film for the next subplot to come.

8168937 How do I know so much about Britain?

Would have though that was easy. I'M BRITISH!

I thought you all knew. I would have thought how I spell things would be a give away.

8169636 :rainbowderp: I think going to college messed with my radar.

Before college:
Spells "color" as "colour": British

After college:
Spells "color" as "colour": Anglophile, English major, English professor, studied abroad, possibly a hipster
Spells "sulfur" as "sulphur": British
Uses words like "pram" or "lorry"; calls fries chips; calls fish sticks fish fingers; calls dessert pudding; calls cookies biscuits; has most if not all of his or her characters drink a lot of tea: Definitely British

Although, now that I think about it. :facehoof: I knew there was something weird about Springer's tea addiction.

8170404 Hey! The tea thing was added by AandWguy, not me. I hate tea.

8170646 You're a British guy who hates tea? That's just like being an American who hates coffee. :pinkiegasp: Oh, wait. :rainbowderp: "looks in mirror" :twilightblush:

Kidding aside though, I really do hate coffee. I only drink it when I'm tired and need something caffeinated and terrible tasting to wake me up. :rainbowlaugh: Oddly enough, I love tea, but then again, I'm Asian. :raritywink:

8170646
8171263

Could both of you not continue this conversation in the comments section of my story?

It feels like spam.... And I don't want a sudden invasion by Vikings.

The Railway Children...The Railway Children...THE RAILWAY CHILDREN!

Scribble walked up to it and found a note, written in crayon she read it out “Surprise. Exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. Welcome to Ponyville. Love Pinkie Pie.”

Oh, Pinkie Pie, never change. :twilightsmile:

8172576 One of my favourite children film, and I'm a steam enthusist, how could I not miss the oppitunity?

8172699 That's true. It's my dad's favourite film too.

Wallace and Grommit? I've only seen the one with the penguin and the robotic pants. :twilightsheepish:

8175453 No time writting this did Wallace and Gromit, The Wrong Trousers ever come into my mind. Still The Wrong Trousers is considered the best short by Nick Park, it's got the best pacing.

I was thinking about G1 villians, the Gunpower Plot, the Vonyich Manuscript, and a Kenneth Williams interview.

2:50.

Hey, next time you write a story with penguins, maybe you could add ponified Benedict Cumberbatch. Apparently, he's infamous for being unable to say "penguins." I find that hilarious for some reason. :rainbowlaugh:

And now something which he didn’t expect, Scootaloo signing, along with her father, a simple little chorus “Let’s go fly a kite… Up to the highest height… Let’s go fly a kite and send it soaring… Up through the atmosphere… Up where the air is clear… Oh, let’s go-o-o fly a kite!”

AHHHH! Mary Poppins! I tip my nonexistent hat to you, good sir. :twilightsmile:

I recognize the Friend or Foe exercise from Disney's Valiant. It's not the most engaging movie, but it's a little underrated. Also, I don't know how formal letters are normally closed in Great Britain, but "your obedient servant" makes me think of Hamilton. I'm sorry if you don't know what that is.

8183679 Valiant wasn't a Disney film, it was distributed in the USA by Disney, and most of this actually came from two Dad's Army Episodes: The Showing Up of Corporal Jones and Branded, I did add in the Friend or Foe bit, but I didn't have Valiant in mind, it did crop up in a random thought as I wrote it though.

“I’ve got an idea sir, I remember a play, I can’t remember the title, but some King, dressed his troops up in bushes so they could attack the offending castle.”

Macbeth? :raritywink:

8187389 I think that was the case, but that was in the episode I based the episode on so I don't know.

Bulk frowned in confusion “Taken the coach? He’s going to deliver the post on a trainer? Then why didn’t he ask me to give him a lift? I bet I could carry him.” He shrugged and fluttered away.

So in-character. :rainbowlaugh:

Also, the Reverend is reminiscent of Neville Longbottom.

Scootaloo glanced between her friends and the former Post-stallion and sighed then she joined her friend in the cute sadness attack.

No pony escapes the cute! :applejackconfused::rainbowlaugh:

Aww, how sweet. The story would be easier to understand with translations though.

8202998 The original film didn't include translations. It's just Russian and Latin in Google Translate.

I was going to make a witty quip about giving this the alternate title of "Ships in the Night," but I realized that the ships don't really make up much of the chapter.

Oh my, Time Turner seems to have a habit of getting himself into trouble, doesn't he? :rainbowlaugh:

I'm with Lyra on this one. I couldn't understand all that techno babble for the life of me. :applejackconfused:

8216988
Well Pratchett and Adams were great comedy authors, part of the fun is the bizarre complexities.

L-Space is basic, with enough knowledge, say in a library space and time is wrapped, and thus you can travel the multiverse, and travel in time inside libraries.

Bistro-maths says that mathematics and number work completely differently in resteraunts, and characters in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series of books have used this breakdown of maths to travel in faster than light spacecraft.

Oh come on! That can't be it. Autumn doesn't have her cutie mark yet, and Firelight and Thunder were just barely beginning to grow fond of each other. There's got to be more to the story. :duck: :fluttershysad:

8227850
That's where the original film ends. I would need a suficently good idea to make a sequel.

My trouble is I can't do something until I have a good idea of what to do, the direction to go, character personality and the like.

I'm open to ideas.

8227913
Quite honestly, I'd love to see a blossoming romance between Firelight and Thunder.

8227988
I'm make a note of it, but I'm currently working on stroy for my fanfiction account.

Aww. :heart: Nice to see some follow up on the Waterburys. :twilightsmile:

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