The EK

by Magi Tail Welkin

Trottingham Treason and Plot

Lyra pushed the door to the house open and practically collapsed onto the floor, both out of the exhaustion of sitting on a train for hours and having to lug around such a heavy load in her saddlebag.

Her housemate and mare-friend Sweetie Drops, or better know the citizens of Ponyville, Bon-Bon, slowly walk up concerned “You okay Lyra.”

“Just tried. Nothing a nice, and long, warm bath won’t fix.” The mint green Unicorn said, she pulled herself up and nuzzled Bon-Bon “You won’t believe the what I got up to in Trottingham.”

“Something more unusual than your little Human hunt.”

“Bon-Bon, I’ve told you before, I know they exist, Twilight told me about that other world.”

“Only when she found out you’d moved her. Anyway, just because there’s some alternative universe where those weird two-legged stick figures live, that doesn’t mean they ever existed here?”

“Then how do you explain the string instruments? Or brass instrument for that matter? They seem very suited to hands, it’s a marvel ponies like Octavia and Blue Note can play those things by hoof.”

Bon-Bon sighed, she just had to fall in love with a Unicorn obsessed with weird creatures.

As Secret Agent Sweetie Drops she used to handle odd monsters and haul them into Tartarus as part of an organisation founded over a thousand years ago, by Sir Defender Warden, Royal Knight of Equestria, and ancestor of Captain Flash Sentry. A few years back a monster called a Bugbear left its homelands to attack Equestria, she defeated it and imprisoned it, however it escaped, and this happened before Cerberus and Tirek escaped over a year ago, the organisation got hushed up and went further underground, Sweetie moved to Ponyville to hide away.

Then Twilight arrived and life in Ponyville really livened up. And of course, Lyra moved in, the two really hit it off and became friend and recently, after Sweetie revealed her identity to Lyra, lovers.

Lyra didn’t count as a regular Unicorn. Original for Canterlot, and a student of Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, she graduated with a Third in her chosen field. She didn’t do so well because her special talent and hobby didn’t relate to magic as such. Her talent did, playing the harp with her magic, using it to pluck the strings, but her hobby, well she studied a very, niche, field of, she said anthropology and archology.

Ever since a filly Lyra studied in her spare time about a race called Humans. She described them as bipedal, standing on two feet like a diamond dog, a minotaur, and Discord. She attempted to walked constantly reared up but she couldn’t hold it. Unlike a minotaur or ponies, Humans did not have any fur, or so little of it as so not to count. Also like the above-mentioned creature Humans arms ended in hands, with apposable thumbs, one of the main points of Lyra’s obsession with them, somethings she would rave about how amazing it would be if ponies had hands, how much easier things would be.

Sweetie Drops couldn’t really see the point in hands, but Lyra insistently made what she called gloves out of old socks. And she would sometime point out the odd thing here and there which she related to Humans.

She even tried to convince other ponies, when the Cakes had their twins Lyra made a crude drawing of a human, to Sweetie it looked more like a blob of something, Lyra didn’t even draw the hands she so wished to have, to his Sweetie shook her head, sometimes her love didn’t put the effort into her convictions.

‘Oh Lyra, I don’t know if I should wish you were normal, what kind of Pony would you be if you didn’t obsess about Humans?’

“Bon-Bon?”, Sweetie blinked and look at Lyra “Yeah?”

“I asked you something. Did you ever face off a talking penguin?”

“A what?”

“Talking penguin, apparently one of the northern islands of the Griffish Isles is home to a race of talk penguin, a Dependency of the Grand Ducal Crown.”

“Okay, so why was one in Trottingham?”

“To blow up parliament.”, Sweetie’s eyes widened “Okay, you have got to tell me what happened.”

“Okay. I didn’t fight him, I just witnessed what happened. See I got off the train at Duke’s Cross Station…”

---

The mint Unicorn smiled as she trotted along the platform.

Duke’s Cross Station took its name from the small inner city of Trottingham it sat in. And the area itself got its name from a monument an ancient King of Griffin erected, apparently founding a Church for the Silver Enlightenment on the spot. True the Silver Enlightenment did seemingly have a decent presence in the Griffish Isle, but not enough to be considered a part of it identity.

The Griffish Isles like Saddle Arabia is self-governing, but they did not have a Prince or Princess, the title of their rules is Grand Duke, grand denotes the historical royal status, the Island used to be a protectorate of Pegasopolis. Due to its proximity to the Griffon Lands, the Pegasi protected it. In gratitude, the King bent the knee. When Equestria was established and Princess Celestia and Princess Luna assumed the throne the King decided, unlike the Unicorn King at the time to change his title and rule under Celestia and Luna, thus decreeing the change to the name Grand Duke. The current Ducal family called themselves the Hanoverians.

Getting back to the matter at hoof Lyra looked at her directions “Okay, the library is the Heel Holder’s Square in the City of Buckminster.”

Trottingham may be the capital of the Griffish Isles, but, it is just an area call Trottingham after the small City of Trottingham in the middle, the first settlement on the River Trot.

It is semi-independent to the authority of the Grand Duke. The Right Honourable, the Lord Mayor of Trottingham is the leader of the square mile area as head of the City of Trottingham Corporation and the Grand Duke must ask permission to enter the City of Trottingham.

The area called Trottingham by every-pony is in truth a collection of other settlements, referred to as Boroughs, however the Borough holding the Houses of Parliament and the Trottingham Library has city status, the City of Buckminster.

Buckminster is not really a city, not like Canterlot, Manehatten, Los Pegasus or even Bridle City. It is just a small settlement in the middle of some fields. A jumble of cramped back streets, and in fact much like Ponyville a warren of timbered houses. Only instead of the Castle of Friendship being on the outskirts of the town, the most important buildings stood in the middle with the wooden structures surrounding them. A small church dedicated to Listener Stone, and the Palace of Buckminster, better known as the Houses of Parliament.

Lyra stepped out from Duke’s Cross Station and on to the street, she looked around “Taxi!”, she shouted, but nothing came.

A pony beside her scoffed “You’ll have to wait. Mrs Dartmoor Clipper came by a few minutes ago, and the cabbies ran for it.”

Lyra looked at him confused “Why? Who’s Mrs Dartmoor Clipper.”

“She’s a local nutcase is Mrs Clipper, she has it out for cabbies. Celestia only knows why. She’s being it over ten years.”

“Doing what?”

“She taken over twenty-five cabbies to court over fees technicalities. Somehow, she knows the fare charts of by heart, using this she would catch a cab going from Point A to Point B, and just before the distance and fare rate would increase, she’d call a halt to the cab. If the poor cab driver tried to collect the larger fare, she’d take him to court. Usually she’d win.”

“She deliberately tries to make them charge more and then sues them?”

“Yeah, nothing in the law says she can’t, but sweet Celestia she drives cabbies around the bend. I heard tell one judge told if the overcharging got on her wick so much she should buy her own private couch.”

Lyra nodded “That would save us all a lot of fuse. Are you going anywhere?”

“No, just waiting for a friend.” He walked over to a cart standing nearby.

“Taxi Miss?”, Lyra turned to the road and saw a cabby standing there. Lyra smiled and climbed in, she gave the cabbie the location and they went on their way.

---

Sweetie raised a hoof to stop Lyra as they sat on the bathroom waiting for the tub to fill. Sweetie sat on the floor while Lyra sat on the rim of the tub the way she usually did, on her flank with her back hooves dangling.

Sweetie guessed, corrected it related to Humans, Lyra said sitting that way proved quite comfortable, but Sweetie didn’t wish to try it, that way madness lie.

“Sorry Lyra but what does that have to do with this talking penguin and the attempted blowing up of the Trottingham Parliament?”

“I know it sounds odd to mention that, but it will relate later. Anyway, I reached the library,” she paused and chuckled “Twilight would love it in there.”

---

Miles and miles of shelves meet Lyra, she checked her notes taken from the index cards.

She found herself in a quiet corner of fourth floor, a soft sofa sat next to the table. She found a book, a large thick and dusty volume. She could barely hold in her magic before she slammed it down onto the table.

She turned the first few pages and her eyes widened, her jaw dropped. Then she gave the biggest, toothiest grin she could muster.

The page she found contained a pair of images, of a Human male and female. The drawings, obviously made with ink and pen showed the two examples of humanity in two superimposed positions with his arms and legs apart and inscribed in a circle and square.

Around them a strange written language. It appeared like the Equestrian Alphabet, with a similar amount of the characters with shapes resembling Equestrian characters. But none of the words, only seven characters in length at the most, did not make up anything remotely like Equestrian.

She found a piece of paper sunk into the inside cover, and she read it ‘To whomever find this letter and this manuscript I wish you luck, the mystery of this codex has perplexed me for many years. I discovered it among others in a trunk in a Silver Enlightened monastery in the south of this fair island, the monks were selling of parts of their library to raise money for a restoration of the buildings, it interested me so much I bought it for the price of twenty bits, all I can tell is that this manuscript was created roughly in the year 400 of Celestia’s Reign. By its content, it is paradoxically both priceless and worthless. It has made fools of the wise, but its own wisdom yet is folly. I am nearing the end of my days so I am donating this to the Trottingham Library for future ponies to find and take interest. Signed, Bookworm, Trader of Antiquarian Books, 920 Celestia’s Reign.’

Lyra blinked ‘Eighty years!’, she returned to the book and turned the pages. It continued with precise images of Human anatomy and more of the bizarre language. Lyra looked at this amazed, for years she wondered about the exact appearance and proportions of humans, and here she got them, tall and rather lanky, as expected with most species the male stood taller than the female. Even a comparison between human and pony sizes.

Average size for a pony is four-and-a-half hooves, a hoof equals twelve inches or thirty centimetres. Of course, ponies could be taller, Big Mac neared five hooves and per the Apples, there lives in Appleloosa a rodeo clown called Trouble Shoes who towered at almost six hooves, very close, relatively speaking when compared to other ponies, to Princess Celestia’s height, she towered at six-and-a-half hooves, not including her wings.

Comparing the height of the Human male it seemed the Princess of the Sun either equalled or stood slightly taller.

The book then when into a different section, images of cities and islands. Then into images of star constellations and nebulas and possibly images from the microscopic world. Finally, it seemed to go into a storybook mode. In the margins illustrations of Humans in minimal clothing fighting monsters, like dragons and minotaur, griffons and such like. Even the odd pony beside them.

Then Lyra paused, she recognised the images on this page. Her favourite bedtime story.

About the main Human island, powerful and advanced magically and scientifically. Many heroes came from the mainland and travelled around the world, included to Equestria, of course, these events would have taken place thousands and thousands of years before the unification. The society became corrupt and tried to conqueror the other settlement, but the other settlements, while less advance, were moral and wise so rose and drove the conquerors back, then ironically in the wake of the victory the other settlements started to war against each other and the mainlanders. An earthquake and flood took over and sank all the human islands.

Lyra’s father explained the meaning behind it, being a great individual would ensure the greatness of the nation, especially if every-pony tried to be great as well.

Lyra understood it, but in her research, she just felt maybe these legends originated somewhere. And apparently, some-pony also research humans in far greater detail and made this book.

Hoof steps sounded. Lyra shut the book. She turned.

A librarian walked up “Oh, you found that old thing, did you? Useless we call it, the Head Librarian just told me to get rid of so we can open up shelf space.”

Lyra’s eyes widened “Wait, could I, have it? I’ll pay.” She rummaged in her saddlebag and pull out a load of bits, she counted them out ‘Okay Bookworm payed twenty bits for it, it’s been eighty years, and I think the bit is about the same value, plus the book more valuable to me. I’ll pay thirty.’ She stacked up three rows of ten and turned to the librarian and offered her the money.

The librarian stared amazed “Excuse me, I need to get the Head Librarian.”

---

“So,” Sweetie said testing the heat of the water “you brought the book?”

Lyra smiled widely and nodded as she took hold of the bubble bath “It’s in my saddlebag, I’m going to try and translated it.”

Sweetie narrowed her eyes and she stepped into the tub “Bookworm said he couldn’t.”

“Ah.” Lyra said pouring the soupy liquid in and stirring the water, think foamy bubble start filling in “But did Bookworm know about the story I grew up with? If I can find some common words like names and other contexts words, then it’s a start.” She climbed in and blew so foam into Sweetie’s face. She giggled when Sweetie wiped the bubble off and looked at her annoyed “You’ve got no language to compare it to.”

“I’ll just look for similar ones, I’m sure Twilight will have books on languages, if not I can journey to Canterlot or the Crystal Empire if need be.”

Sweetie looked at her fed up. Lyra sighed “Alright I’ll take a break, a day or two.”, Sweetie narrowed her eyes.

For the last two years, well less than that really, Lyra would do something involving Humans at least for hour every day, of course, to two spent time together doing different things but Sweetie really wanted Lyra to stop this. And now with this apparent discover she would probably become truly obsessed with cracking it.

“A week?”, Sweetie softened “It’s a start. Now when are you going to get to the penguin?”

“Okay. After buying the book I went on a tour of Trottingham.”

---

Lyra sat on the back of a standard Trottingham red bus. It took about four well-built stallions to pull the double decker wagon along, but it did prove great fun.

Beside her the conductor started calling out locations “Regent Street, Piccadilly Circus, Shaftsbury Avenue.”

Another pony climbed down the stairs about to get off, but she turned to the conductor and asked in an exclamation “Did you say let’s be having you?”, the conductor turned to her and said, “No I didn’t, but you want to make something out it love?”

“Oh, no.” she said, “No without me strawberries.” And she got off.

Lyra turned to the window and watched the mare go ‘Whatever did she mean by that? Not without me strawberries? That makes no sense.’ She leaned back and went into her own thought.

Then the conductor called out “Parliament building coming up. Any-pony wishing to see the state opening, a chance to see His Royal Highness, the Grand Duke.”

Lyra looked up ‘That should be interesting.’, the current Grand Duke, a rather aged stallion rarely made public appearances, he didn’t make an appearance at the Equestria Games, so for him to come and do this, well it must be important. However, rumours, said the Grand Duke didn’t appear in public often because he suffered madness.

As the bus went over the bridge another cart passed it. Lyra watched it from the window. Her eyes widened as she recognised the pony from the station pulling the cart as it passed, then she saw a clocked figure sat on the back of it, behind him a load of unmarked barrels. It turned a corner and disappeared.

Lyra got off the bus and examine the parliament building. Located on the banks of a river. She remembered reading a description of it in a book in the Canterlot library while looking for evidence of Humans.

The description when as thus;
A magnificent and extensive pile, in part covering the ground now occupied by the two large areas or courts known as Old Palace Yard and New Palace Yard, and it consisted of many buildings destined to various purposes. Chambers, chapels, and halls of the former royal palace that housing both Parliament and the various royal law courts. The two courts are bounded on the east by the river. In the Old Palace Yard is the House of Lords, where every year the Grand Duke or Duchess opens the Parliament for the year.
The House of Lords is raised up on the first floor, underneath it is called the Under Croft, a ground floor storage room sometimes referred to as the cellar.

The pages included a map of the Houses of Parliament. Lyra always did her best to remember things, up to the point her near photographic levels.

Lyra followed the route the strange cart went and peered around.

A cabby passed by, another came the other way.

The strange cart stood in a courtyard park directly next to the building which housed the House of Lord. The cloaked figure came out from an archway leading into the Under Croft.

The pony who pulled the cart carefully unloaded the barrels. Saluted the figure and then hitched onto the cart and quickly trotting out. Lyra darted back to and pretended to walk the other way, the pony passed her and gave a little wave, she smiled and nodded back.

Once the pulling pony disappeared out of sight Lyra walked back to the corner. The cloaked figure reached out. Revealing a pair of flippers. Lyra blinked and rubbed her eyes, she looked back.

Indeed, a penguin in a cloak began handling a wooden barrel as large as it. Gingerly the penguin lowered the barrel onto its side and rolled it inside the Under Croft.

Lyra narrowed her eyes but heard hoof-steps she turned as a smartly dressed stallion walked passed and looked to the courtyard, he smiled and nodded “The leaseholder is here, very good.”

Lyra walked up “Excuse me?”, the smartly dressed stallion turned “Yes miss?”

“Heartstrings, Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Charmed,” he bowed low “Lord Gracious Whinneyard at your service.”

“What do you mean leaseholder?”

“Oh, the Under Croft under the House of Lords in my property, I lease it out to merchants wishing to trade in the city. The latest chap said by letter he would be bring thirty-six barrel loads of an exotic powder.”

“Do you actually know who is merchant is?”

“Well no, I don’t like enquiring into my clients’ nature, bad for business.”

“Look.” Lyra pointed and Whinneyard turned, his eyes widened “Good grief. What’s a Foallands Islander doing all the way down here?”

“The what?”

“The Foallands Islands, it’s got a Pony Settlement but it’s native people are Penguins. It’s a Crown Dependency has been for years. Started off as a colony of the Crystal Empire, then got pawed to us when the daughter of their Princesses married one of our ancient Kings, until could get a dowry raised at the time, it never got payed and then the Empire disappeared. So, the Parliament made the Islands a Crown Dependency, not independent but it has an autonomous government, and all Islanders are Griffish subjects. Recently though Parliament has announced changes to the Foallands Islands, speaking of which I needed up in the House of Lords, the Grand Duke will arrive in half-an-hour.”

Lyra watched Whinneyard go and she shook her head ‘The nobles here are worse than in Canterlot.’

She looked back as the Penguin returned to roll another barrel. Lyra stayed put to wait. The Penguin closed the door and waddled off.

Lyra tip-hoofed towards the door and opened it.

Dark and dry. Seventy-seven hooves long, twenty-four-and-a-half hooves wide, and ten hooves tall with timbered pillars supported the floor of the House of Lords, she could hear the muffled voices of chattering and the sounds of hooves above her head

She illuminated her horn, golden aura brightened the area in front of her face. She kept close to the wall and inched her way closer to the end. Where if she remembered the throne, where the Grand Duke would sit upon, sat directly above.

She stopped and flinched as the back wall suddenly appeared before her eyes. She turned and found the thirty-six barrels. She opened one and looked in. A black power, most of them clumped together in lumps sat in it, already Lyra turned concerned. She levitated a lump and sniffed it, an acrid and sour scent, her worries deepened, and she didn’t want to do this next part, but she knew she must, she stuck out her tongue and lightly touched the lump onto it. It tasted like steam and sulphur with a hint of urine, she remembered those tastes from her alchemy classes, her teacher told her to taste the substances to make sure she got the right materials, she never understood the point of her doing it, up until now.

Her suspicions got confirmed, the urine taste came from saltpetre, the steamy came from charcoal, and the sulphur, the smell of rotten egg is bad enough the taste, dear Celestia. But they all added up. Explosive powder, what they usual filled explosive firework munitions with.

The door opened. Lyra let the horn spell drop.

She heard the light slap of flippers waddling on the hard ground. Lyra took a deep breath, remember some of her magic training. The waddling came nearer. She cast a spell. A gold dome covered the Penguin. She smiled “Caught you.”

“Let me out of here!” the Penguin shouted “I, Charlatan, rightful King of Penguins orders you to release him. The Foallands Islands are ours and we won’t let the Grand Duke and his corrupt court control us anymore.”

Lyra frowned unimpressed, the Penguin King reminded her of Trixie Lulamoon, and while she did help save Equestria by helping Starlight when she rescued Twilight and friends from Queen Chrysalis, Lyra still didn’t forgive Trixie for imprisoning Ponyville with the Alicorn Amulet. She sighed, she couldn’t keep this spell up much longer and she needed to alert some-pony. Her timing need to be exact, she dropped the dome, made an amplification spell looked up and called “Help! Terrorist! Come quick.”

Charlatan ran from the door, Lyra galloped after him.

Outside a pair of ponies dressed in red tunics with gold linings and black flat topped hats came running, they saw the two pass and Lyra shouted, “Explosives under the House!”

One guard rushed into the Under Croft, the other ran with Lyra.

Charlatan reached the road and shouted “TAXI!”, but to his surprise, no cabby appeared, he saw one running around the corner. Something hit him on the back of the head and he turned to see an overdressed mare with a parasol, she poked him “Don’t use them young sir, they overcharge you know.”

Lyra and the guard, another unicorn ran up. The guard charged a spell and Charlatan found himself wrapped in chains.

The guard looked over the penguin before nodding and turned to the mares “Thank you. Mrs Clipper, if you hadn’t been here then this criminal might have gotten away.”, then to Lyra “And you Miss?”

“Heartstrings, Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Miss Heartstrings, Celestia only knows what would have happened if he lit the fuse.”

“Just helping.”

“More than helping.” Said an elderly voice, they turned as an old stallion in regal uniform walked up to them. The guard stood to attention. Lyra blinked wide-eyed.

The Grand Duke smiled “You more than help, you saved our lives.” He twitched “Sorry my nerves. I think you need rewarding Miss Heartstrings. Please kneel.”

Lyra didn’t exactly know what would happen but she followed the order. The Grand Duke pull out his sword. He tapped her on her shoulder. Lyra stayed still until the Grand Duke chuckled and muttered “I’ve always wanted to say this.” He cleared his throat “Arise, Dame Lyra Heartstrings.”, Lyra’s eyes widened and she quickly stood up and exclaimed “Dame? I’ve, been knighted?”

“Yes, I’ve appointed you a Dame Grand Cross of the Royal Victorious Order, awarded to those who have performed personal service for the sovereign of the Griffish Isles, and saving my life is a great personal service indeed. Tell me what’s you address? That way we can send you the insignia badge, sash and robes, and correspondence about your Coat of Arms.”, she told him.

“Ponyville? We then I shall have word sent to Princess Twilight Sparkle. Now if you excuse me, Dame Lyra I must open Parliament.” He turned around and walked away.

Mrs Clipper blinked “The Grand Duke is mad.” And she walked off in a huff.

---

Sweetie blinked as she dried her mane “Dame Lyra Heartstrings?”

Lyra smiled as she slipped into her side of the bed, ever since the two became a couple they share “I can’t even believe it myself. I know what I want on my Coat of Arms.”

“Let me guess, a hand, or perhaps a human?”, Lyra nodded while grinning widely “One of the two. It’ll make it unique at least.”

“You’re going to give the heralds a headache, will they know what you’re talking about.”

“I’ll show them the images in the book.” She smiled and thought about her new purchase.

Sweetie looked at her mare-friend, she didn’t know what to think, yes, she like seeing Lyra happy, but she really didn’t like her friend going on and on about Humans, a real obsession. And now seemingly confirmed. Sweetie would have to look at this book herself, her more sceptical brain wondered if it could be a hoax of some kind. She wanted to uncover the truth, although she didn’t want to hurt Lyra, not after what happened with the Bugbear.

Lyra meanwhile went through her day’s event once again. A new thought struck her “I just remembered, on the train back here I meet some new residence to Ponyville.”

“Oh?” Sweetie said putting the towel into the wash basket and grabbing her mane brush.

“Yeah, I heard their going to live in that Three Chimneys cottage, up on the hill?”

“That old place? Who are ponies anyway?”

“The Waterbury Family.”, Sweetie stopped mid brush and turn to Lyra “Waterbury? Not the family off…”

Lyra nodded “Mrs Waterbury, Scribble told me to keep it a secret from her three foals.”

“Dedicated mother.” Sweetie put the brush down and went to the wardrobe, one thing Lyra brought with her from Canterlot Sweetie took a real liking to, the nightdress, given all the times she’d been awaken in the middle of the night be soon monster she found have something to wear and keep her equipment inside really helped, plus she could wear something cute for Lyra’s enjoyment.

She slipped it on and slowly walked up to the bed.

Lyra slumped under the sheets “Sorry Bon-Bon, but I’m very tired. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow morning.”

Sweetie sighed and smirked, she hadn’t really been think about that, may be a bit of her suaveness as a Secret Agent slipped out. Sweetie did sometimes find herself in the company of ponies in high office, and now Lyra held a title in the Griffish Isles, instinct and all that. She got into bed “Night Lyra.” And out went the light.

Comments

[Godslittleprincess]

Wallace and Grommit? I've only seen the one with the penguin and the robotic pants.

[Magi Tail Welkin]

8175453 No time writting this did Wallace and Gromit, The Wrong Trousers ever come into my mind. Still The Wrong Trousers is considered the best short by Nick Park, it's got the best pacing.

I was thinking about G1 villians, the Gunpower Plot, the Vonyich Manuscript, and a Kenneth Williams interview.

2:50.

[Godslittleprincess]

Hey, next time you write a story with penguins, maybe you could add ponified Benedict Cumberbatch. Apparently, he's infamous for being unable to say "penguins." I find that hilarious for some reason.