The EK

by Magi Tail Welkin

Mayday Madness

Mayday is an important festival in the rural areas of Equestria, to the built-up city areas it’s simply another holiday. However no-pony could quite remember why Mayday started, many assume it a celebration of life, fertility and the beauty of the natural world, and no pony quite knew the meaning of May.

Twilight however dug into the scholarly records of the Silver Enlightenment and she discovered Mayday also coincides with the Annunciation of Silver Light, the day the Angel Gabriel came before the virgin Unicorn, Beloved Lady, and told her God chose her to, in time, conceive and bear a son. And the time when the foal would be born, in September of next year.

Beloved asked about this and the Angel responded, ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, the foal to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God.’

See as this would be an important day to any-pony, and now doubly important in her mind, she, didn’t order but encouraged as many ponies as possible came up with ideas for possible activities to do on the day itself. Some ranged from the traditional, to the unusual.

The Major and most of the Home Guard decided on a traditional idea. Whereas, Thunderlane suggested quite an original idea, based on a Trottingham legend.

How these two ideas came to interact caused quite a stir in Ponyville.

---

In the stable halls of Kimblewick Hall the Major and Porter started closing as many doors as possible “Right every-pony,” the Major said shutting his office door “this is top secret. Close the curtains.”, a couple of ponies proceeded to do so, the Major turned to two “Woods, Meadows, stand out of guard and don’t let any-pony in, I don’t care who it is.”, they nodded and exited.

The Major went back to his office, went inside and turned to the door leading outside and shouted to it “All clear outside Zecora?”

“No-pony has come to spy. It is all clear outside.”

“Good, after we’re I want to discuss that tribal dance idea of yours.”

“Understood. It pleases me if you could.”, the Major nodded and shut the door. He then walked across the hall and spoke to a secluded area “Right Steel, all clear.”

“Right sir, come on lads.”, Cold Steel, followed by Vigil, Caramel, Lucky Clover, Mr Waddle and Doctor Time Turner walked out dressed as Morris Dancers. Their costumes consisted of ordinary clothes decorated with ribbons, strips of cloth and pieces of coloured paper, bells on their hind legs.

The Major smiled “Excellent fellows, very good turnout.”

“Permission to speak sir?” Steel asked, the Major nodded. “Aren’t you going to wear your attire?”, the Major shook his head “Not just now, I’ll shall just wear the hat.” He took his pecked cap off “Now the reason we’ve gone through these pains to keep this a secret, is because no-pony should see this dance until it is perfect, otherwise we shall look like a bunch of idiots.” He finished and put a bowler hat with feathers, flowers and ribbons on his head.

Vigil spoke “Major? I want a word with you.”, the Major nodded. “I’ve got to tell you sir, that as a Bat Pony, I feel a right fool dressed up in this, pansy clowns outfit.”

“Vigil,” the Major said “You did volunteer for what we planned, and most us voted for a tradition Morris Dance, Princess Twilight and the Council approved the idea as part of the Mayday procession. Now Porter do you have the instruction book?”

“Yes, sir.”

A knock came on the door. The Major walked to it “I thought I told Meadows and Woods not to let any-pony in.”, he opened to the doors and Pinkie Pie bounced in dressed in an array of instruments as a one-pony-band “Hi Major. You said you wanted music for your dance?”
The Major blinked “Oh yes I did.” But then his face turned stern “Promise me you won’t say anything about this to any-pony until we have it prefect.”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cup cake in my eye.”

“Good.” He returned to the six ponies now lining up “Now where did we get to last time?”

Cold Steel raised a hoof “I was having trouble with my whiffling sir.”

“Ah, whiffling. Now it is very important you should understand the meaning of these moves. Read the bit about whiffling Porter.”, the sergeant opened the book and read aloud “Whiffling, whiffling here we are. Yes, the movement of the whiffling stick, represents the frightening away of evil spirits.”

Caramel spoke “Frighten away from what sir?”, the Major looked at him steely “This is a fertility dance.”

Mr Waddle “I don’t think my friend Chelsea Porcelain would approve of that sort of thing.”

Vigil grumbled “Oh shut your silly old duffer, it just to encourage the corps to grow, it done every year by the young and fertile of the village.”

Lucky Clover snorted “No much good you lot doing it.”, Vigil glared at him “Speak for yourself.”

The Major quickly got in between the two “Alright, alright, that’ll do.”

“Permission to speak sir? I do not wish to stand opposite Vigil when she’s whiffling.”

“Why not?”

Well sir, I’ve face Whirling Desert Ponies, and I’ve face charging Akhal-Teke. But I don’t want to face Vigil when she’s waving her whiffling stick, she’s got a mad look in her eyes.”

“Mad!” Vigil exclaimed, her head shifted around the room “My eyes are perfectly sane.” She turned to the Major “Major Fields would you say I have mad eyes?” She leaned into him, the Major looked over her muzzle for a few second “Well no, not really mad.”, she grinned and looked to Steel “There you are, you see?”

The Major went to end of the six lines “Now, just before we start, we’d better check the bells are alright. Left leg.”, they shock, “Right leg.”, the jiggle filled the hall, the Major looked to Waddle who shook slightly less than the others “Is that the best you can do Waddle.”

“A touch of rheumatism I’m afraid sir.”, the Major nodded and turned to Pinkie “Right from the top, Miss Pie?”, she pulled at the accordion and readied her hoof with the drum, and the Major tapped a hoof on the floor as the Morris Dances began.

“And one, two, three, four, five six, seven, eight. And back.”, they walked back “Two, three, four. Forward, six, seven, eight.”, they banged their sticks together, “And round.”, they hoped around in a circle, “Turn.”, they went the other way, a before returning to their original places, “Whiffle.”, they bang their sticks together eight times, “Bet the ground.”, tapped the sticks on the floor twice, then reared up with a “Whoop!”, repeated three times, “Whiffle.”, they repeated the action.

But, Caramel bashed his stick into Lucky’s a little harder, Lucky ducked into himself afraid of being hit.

The music stopped. The Major and the rest of the platoon inside clapped “Very good. That was very good indeed. I’m proud of you. Now take a break and get back into your uniforms. Thank you, Miss Pie.”

“You’re welcome.” And walked out, crashing and banging as she went.

The Major looked to Caramel and asked, “What was all that about Caramel, you’ve could have hurt Clover?”, the rodeo clown sighed “I’m sorry Major, guess I can’t hide it any longer. I’m in a highly nervous state.”

“Trouble at home?”

“No trouble away from home sir.”

“You’d better come into the office.” They walked in and the Major knocked on the door “Okay Zecora. I need to speak with Caramel, but I talk to you about your idea after.”, the Zebra came in nodded and left the way they came in.

The Major at his chair and Caramel took the other, the Major spoke “Now, what’s the matter?”

“Well it’s delicate sir, and I’d like your help sir, you see it’s Sassaflash, see we have a certain arrangement.”

“You’re a couple, I’ve seen you two together on Hearts and Hooves Day, rubbing noses too.”, Caramel blushed, the Major spoke again “I don’t see what this has got to do with me.”

“Well, recently her affection has been taken by another.”, the Major nodded “I see. Who?”

“Written Script, the Town Clerk.”

“What? Well, I know he has a weaken for young mares, but I still don’t see what you want me to do about it.”

“I want you to speak with her.”

“I couldn’t possibly do that.”

“You must sir, a true voice of authority, there’s her address sir. But don’t go giving it to every-pony.”

“But I…”

“You must speak to her sir, you must. Otherwise I will be a broken stallion, and what good is a broken solider to you sir.” He quickly left and Porter walked in “Dear oh dear. What are you going to do sir?”

“I don’t know. I suppose I could see her. Perhaps I should point out the type of character Script is. I’ll go around later and arrange a meeting with her. Send Zecora in will you Porter.”

“Sir, she wants to demonstrate the dance out in the hall.”

“In front of the Platoon?”, Porter nodded, the Major sighed “Oh very well.”, he left the office.

In the end, most of the Platoon thought the tribal dance didn’t suit the Mayday celebration.

---

Later in the evening at the Post Office, Vigil and Waddle talked to each other.

“It’s happened.” Vigil said.

“What has?”

“Major Fields has succumbed to the flesh. I saw him at the door of young Sassaflash talking to her.”

“But Major Fields is a respectable stallion.”, Vigil shook her head “It’s stallions like him who are the worst. Looking down their noses at other ponies while at the same time deep down inside, lust. Pure naked lust. The fires of Tartarus are lying in wait for him, he’s doom.”

Waddle narrowed his eyes in disgust “I think the whole thing is nonsense.”

“Nonsense? Listen I heard him arranging to meet this mare at the Café Hay tomorrow morning at 11:30. If you don’t believe come and see for yourself.”

Waddle nodded “I will just to prove that you are wrong.”

“Right, and don’t forget, it’s your turn to pay for the meal.”

A throat cleared and the two turned.

Muffins stood at the counter “Do you have anything to post before I close up?” she then leaned down and pull up a basket “Muffin?”

Elsewhere in town, others discussed this development.

Cipher stood by his auto-magic cart. When Parcel Post handled the letters he simply pulled the cart, but being an Earth Pony he could handle a heavy cart at a reasonable speed down the country lanes.

Cipher on the other hoof, despite his size, could not, and his delicate wings couldn’t allow him to pull it flying either, and Riolu as a passenger only made things worse. Thus, Muffins contacted Head Office in Canterlot, and they supplied the standard cart for non-Earth Pony or Pegasus Post-personal.

Auto-magic is mixture of magic and technology giving carts and other such vehicles prolonged motion without requiring any ‘horsepower’, so to speak. Cipher magically ignited the battery crystal and starts the alchemical fire spell to power to engine.

Time Turner looked over the letter the next Changeling Post-stallion gave him. The doctor spoke “I’ve got a question about Major Fields, you’ve delivered letters to Kimblewick Hall yes?”

“That’s right, what do you want to know?”

“What time does he go to the Café Hay?”

“Well, about 11:30 for a cup of tea after reporting to Captain Sentry. I usually see him leave and talk to Porter, he usually stays at the hall. Why do you ask?”

“Well, my information is, that he’s meeting a certain mare there.”

“Oh no, Major Fields doesn’t know certain mares. He’s an old bachelor and proud of it.”

“Well maybe he’s decided in the autumn of his life to find companionship.”

“Maybe, but I think you’ve got it all wrong.”

“My information says he’s besotted with her.”

“Besotted, one of my hive-mates was besotted with a Changeling mare, but Her Tragedy disallowed it, the hypocrite she was said the love should be shared between all of us, and she need to control its distribution. And my friend walk out of the hive and into the wastelands. Hey, you don’t think the Major’s going to go to some wasteland like Ghastly Gorge or something? If he does he’ll have a long walk.”

“Why don’t you join me tomorrow and find out? You never know we could have something for the Ponyville Express.”

“Oh, no I’ve got my rounds to do. I can’t skip duty, not when I’m just starting the job. Speaking of which I should be off.” He climbed onto the seat of the wagon next to Riolu, charged his horn, flicked the reins and the cart rolled away.

---

At the Café Hay the waiter look surprised at how two table were occupied so early in the day. By regulars yes, Miss Vigil, Mr Waddle and Doctor Time Turner, but not this time of day, or for that matter this day in the week. Not to mention the doctor acted oddly, reading the Equestria Daily, he knew the timekeeper didn’t really keep up with current affairs outside of Ponyville, and then he considered the strangely dressed pony sitting a little way away from the others. But he shrugged, the custom is always right.

Waddle still looked unsure “I’m sorry but Major Fields is a perfectly respectable veteran Royal Guard stallion.”, Vigil scoffed “You know your trouble Waddle? You live in a dream world of your own. I tell you Major Fields…” he got interrupted as the waiter spoke “Good morning Major, usual place and cup of tea?”

Vigil shushed Waddle “He’s here.”

The Major spoke “Yes, but I’ve got a guest so I may require assistants Savoir.”

“We aim to please.”, the Major smiled, before looking at the others at the table “I had hoped to be alone this morning.” Savoir Fare spoke “I don’t know why we’ve had a sudden rush this morning sir, please, follow me to your table.”, the Major turned Porter “I think you’d better report to Captain Sentry.” He leaned in to whisper “And be very precise as to why I’m seeing Miss Sassaflash. In a small town like this gossip spreads like wildfire.”

Porter nodded “But ponies are generally polite, I’m sure no-pony will pay the slightly bit of attention to you.” Porter then turned around and left.

Vigil smirked.

From behind his paper Time Turner looked up.

And sitting close to the entrance to the inside, another figure peered over.

The Major followed Savoir to a table in the corner close to the door to the inside, trying to be as far from prying eyes as possible. After the waiter left the Major heard a whisper. He glanced around at the pony sitting near to him, the pony nodded “Major.” The figure wore an orange necktie and a red Stetson hat with a blue and white polka dot ribbon around the crown.

“Good morning.” The Major turned back, then flinched recognising the light brown coat and the dark brown mane, he returned his gaze to the pony in question “Is that you Caramel?”

“You won’t give me away, will you sir?”

“What in the wide world of Equestria are you doing dressed like that?”

“I’m in disguises sir, I don’t want any-pony to recognise me.”

The Major didn’t say anything but looked at him unimpressed, primarily because Caramel’s disguises consisted of two parts of his rodeo clown outfit. The Major instead sat down.

Savoir walked up “Excuse me Major, but this mare says you wanted to see her?”, the Major looked up. Beside the waiter and smiling at him stood a Pegasus mare with a pale turquoise coat, vanilla mane and tail, carrot orange eyes, and a cutie mark of two lightning bolts. “I’m ever so sorry I’m late Major Fields.”

“It’s alright Miss Sassaflash, if you could sit down please.”

“Thank you.” She did so and looked at the café patrons “There are a lot of Ponies here this morning,” she called over “Good morning Miss Vigil, Mr Waddle.”, the two looked up and waved.

The Major sighed and looked as if he wanted to disappear into the ground.

Savoir spoke “Your orders sir, Madame?”

“My usual tea Savoir, there’s a good fellow, and what about you Miss Sassaflash?”

“Lemonade for me.”, Savoir nodded and walked inside. The Major cleared his throat “Now Miss Sassaflash, the reason why I asked you here this morning is…” he felt a tap on his shoulder, he looked around to see Cipher “Sorry about this Major but you’ve got an urgent letter.” He gave it to him and walked off.

Time Turner smirked at the Changeling as he passed him.

The Major slid the letter into his tunic “Now Miss Sassaflash, the reason I asked you to meet me here this morning is to discuss a rather delicate matter.”

“Yes?”

“I find these affairs of emotion very embarrassing.”, she giggled “Well you don’t have to be shy with me Major.”, the Major sniffed “The point is Miss Sassaflash, you’re a very attractive mare…”

“Cup of tea and a lemonade.” Savoir put the tray in place before leaving, his eyes narrowed at the Major. The Major watched him go before turning back “Now where was I?”

“You were saying how attractive I was? You’re quite attractive too, you have a sophisticated handsomeness, especially in that uniform.”

“Well, Miss Rarity is still designing the Home Guard uniform. But we won’t argue about that. The point is Miss Sassaflash, you’re currently in a relationship with Caramel, one of the ponies under my command, he admires you greatly. And it appears you have another admirer.”
Sassaflash put his glass down “Oh Major I couldn’t.”, the Major flinched.

Vigil nudged Waddle “See Waddle, for Celestia’s their flirting.”

“I think we’d better go.”, Vigil stretched out a wing and stopped Waddle getting up.

Time Turner wrote down notes.

Meanwhile the Major tried to recover “Being a public figure I’ve not doubt this new admirer is of great attraction to you.”

“Oh, I’m sure he is.” She smirked.

“Whereas Caramel is a simple rodeo clown.” He enunciated the next part slightly louder “But he’s a fine figure of a stallion Miss Sassaflash, seeing him in training I can be assure. A fine, well-kept mane of brown locks.”

Caramel leaned in with narrow eyes.

“Whereas this new admirer of yours,” the Major continued “not to put too fine a point, keeps his mane a tad unkempt, and is, in my opinion, an unsightly colour. The thing is Miss Sassaflash, Caramel is a loyal member of my platoon, and I don’t want him hurt.”

“I don’t plan on hurting him Major, which is why I must refuse.”

“Refuse?”

“I can’t be unfaithful to Caramel by seeing you as well.”

The Major gulped “I wasn’t referring to myself, I meant Written Script, the Town Clerk.”

“Why would I want a relationship with Written Script?”

Caramel leaned back and smiled.

“Oh, that.” Sassaflash said, Caramel’s eyes widened. And he turned back as his mare-friend started “That’s nothing to do with romance.”

The Major narrowed his eyes “Then what is it about?”

“It’s a secret.” She responded. Caramel narrowed his eyes too.

The Major would have pressed this further until he received a tap on the shoulder. He turned to see Porter standing there “I’m sorry to disturb you sir, but I could fully explain to Captain Sentry about your absence.”

“Why not?”

“A Friendship Problem which included Princess Twilight arose and she insisted Captain Sentry accompany her. All I managed to say was that you were meeting with Sassaflash here the café. He did get rather curious at that.”, the Major’s eyes widened and then he turned to the other watching.

Vigil and Waddle quickly struck up a conversation, and Doctor Time Turner hid behind his paper.

The Major looked to Sassaflash “I recommend you talk to Caramel about this as soon as possible, he seemed very hurt.” He downed his tea and turned to Porter “Let get back to the Hall.”, and they quickly left, Porter paying for the drinks as they did so.

Sassaflash shrugged downed her lemonade and flew off. Caramel got off his seat a tried to stop her, but too little too late. He sighed and trudged slowly away head low.

Waddle turned to Vigil, the Bat Mare just blink, “There you are,” Waddle said, “this was about Caramel, not about temptations or such things, you have such an imagination Miss Vigil.”

Time Turner looked at his notes. Hummed and ripped the paper up. He got out of his seat and left, leaving the newspaper as well.

---

“Do you think this is wise sir?” Porter said just behind the Major. Currently the two walked down the road towards the Town Hall.

“Yes, Porter I must explain this fully to Captain Sentry when you told me how little you got say, I’ve never been so shocked in my life. That naïve filly of a Pegasus mare thought I had amorous intension towards her.”

Porter stifled a laugh “How awfully embarrassing for you sir.”

“To make matters worse, at least three of my own platoon suspected the same, spied on us, and now Captain Sentry possibly thinks the same.”

They heard running and turned Caramel trotted up “Morning sir, morning Mr Porter,” he looked to the Major “Thank you for talking to Sassaflash like that sir, I’m sure it had a great effect on her.”

Porter replied, “It certainly had.”, the Major narrowed his eyes at Cameral “Has she spoken to you about this yet?”

“No.”

“And you haven’t spoken to her?”

“She did say whatever was happening was a secret.”, the Major groaned and rolled his eyes, he looked sternly at him “Next time you see her speak to her.”

“Yes sir. Where you going to?”

“The Town Hall. Princess Twilight has something to do in there and I hope to speak to Captain Sentry about this mix-up.”

“Then I’d better come with you to vouch for you.”

“Thank you, Caramel.” He turned to Porter “Do you know what this meeting is at the Town Hall is?”

“I have no idea sir. Only that Mr Thunderlane is hosting it.”

---

In the Town Hall, Twilight sat next to Written Script. Mayor Mare could not attend, important business in Canterlot. Flash stood next to the Princess.

Thunderlane stood in the middle and called out to the cloakroom “Okay girls you can come out now.”

A bunch of young mare walk out. A couple of Earth Ponies, a few Unicorns.

Thunderlane smirked “Very nice.” He turned to the two, Written Script specifically “Well Town Clerk, what do you think?”

“Oh,” he cleared his throat “they’re very nice.”

Twilight looked to Flash, the Captain of the Guard said nothing, but he glanced at her and smiled. She smiled back.

Thunderlane meanwhile walked out to the mares “Right girls, one of you lucky mares could play the part of Lady Gift Divine in the procession next week.”

Written Script spoke up “Can we have the first girl put on the costume.”

“Right,” Thunderlane said and escorted a mare over to a mannequin wish a regal looking dress.

---

As the trio of the Home Guard reached the Town Hall they notice Sassaflash walking up and knocking on the door “Excuse me Script? It’s only me.”

The door opened and Written Script smiled “Good afternoon my dear, you’re just in time, come in.”

Caramel’s eyes widened “What’s going on in there.”

The Major appeared beside him “I don’t know Caramel, but I intend to find out.”, the three of them ran through the door and almost immediately stopped in their tracks.

The Major quickly recovered and trudged over to Thunderlane “What’s the meaning of this?”

“It’s my business Major I didn’t ask you here.”, the Major fumed and went to Twilight, he saluted “What is going on here Princess?”

Thunderlane responded “Keep your mane on, we’re just picking a mare to play Lady Gift Divine in the procession.”

“Lady Gift Divine?”

“Yeah, Lady Gift Divine, and it’ll much better than your silly Morris Dancing.”

“Alright.” Flash called grabbing every-ponies’ attention “We don’t want any fighting.”

One of the mares raised her hoof “Sorry, but who’s Lady Gift Divine?”

Twilight’s eye widened “How have you not heard of her, she one of Trottingham’s greatest legends. Her husband the King of the Griffish, today’s equivalent is the Grand Duke of the Griffish Isles, raised the taxes, she requested he lower them he said he would if she paraded through the streets of Trottingham without her clothing, appear as a commoner, a bold thing at the time. Which she did, supposedly on a Mayday.”

Sassaflash tapped Written Script “Can I have a private word.”

“Certainly, my dear.”, and she whispered something to him.

Caramel gritted his teeth and looked ready to charge. Porter kept him back.

The Major looked to Caramel and then to Written Script “Now look here Mr Script.”, the Town Clerk held his hoof up “Just a moment Major,” he addressed the room “It’s just been pointed out to me, that per historical and artist record that Lady Gift Divine was a Pegasus.”

Twilight nodded “Records say she was descended from Commander Hurricane.”

Written Script continued “So for the sake of historical accuracy I suggest that Lady Gift Divine be Miss Sassaflash.”

The room erupted, the mares protested. Flash barked out an order “SHUT UP!”

Written shook his head and nodded “Thank you Captain.” He turned to Twilight “Do you agree with this Princess?”

“Well,” she paused “I don’t exactly understand why Sassaflash specifically, but since she is the only Pegasus to volunteer for the part I see no reason not to.”

“Thank you.”, Sassaflash looked between the two and smiled “And thank you both.”

Thunderlane sighed “Well, since that seems to have been sorted out I think we can call it a day.”, he and the girls left, still slightly put off.
Twilight stood up and both she and Flash started to leave. The Major walked up “Excuse Captain, I original came to explain myself about yesterday.”

“Very well, follow us.”, the Major nodded and called Porter over and they left.

Written Script went further into the hall leaving Caramel and Sassaflash alone. Caramel spoke “Was this what all that with Mr Script was about?”, she nodded.

“Why was he calling you my dear?”

“It’s short for my dear friend. We were in the same class at school.”

“And the reason why you’ve been see him was over this Lady Divine business?”, she nodded again “I wanted to be in the procession.”

“Why?”

“When I heard, you were going to be Morris Dancing, I knew I wanted to be involved to, but as a surprise for you.” She sighed “I guess I should have thought better.”, he nodded “I, thought you were being…”

“Unfaithful? Caramel, what kind of a mare do you think I am.”, he grimaced at her yelling, he shut his eyes and braced himself for the break up. Then he felt a hug. He opened his eyes and immediately met hers, she smiled and spoke “I love you Caramel, your goofiness, your cute forgetfulness, but don’t forget this, I love you.” She rubbed her nose onto his and giggled. He smiled and returned the hug “Love you too Sass.”, she giggled again.

Comments

[Godslittleprincess]

So , I'm guessing in your headcanon, elites were once rarely seen unclothed.

[Godslittleprincess]

Before I forget, you're infusing a ton of British culture into this fic. It's not bad. I don' t quite always understand it right away, but I enjoy it nevertheless.