• Member Since 30th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen Sunday

titanictime2


Comments ( 87 )

This... is really kind of rough. The spelling seems okay for the most part, but I'm seeing some borderline run-on sentences and inconsistent capitalization of character names and at the beginning of sentences. (Not to mention consistent non-capitalization of place names like "Sugarcube Corner" and "Carousel Boutique.") I would highly suggest getting a proofreader or editor. While I'm not looking to do any editing myself at the moment - I have a full enough plate as it is - I can suggest some places you can look, if you'd like.

8159828
Thanks for the comments and suggestions. I should get a proofreader really, it would help with consistency and whatnot. Also, this is my first proper fic, so there's bound to be discrepancies. I should be able to find a proofreader/editor, though. Thanks for the offer anyway. :twilightsmile:

...am I the only one who feels like he should have Pinkie charged for breaking and entering?

Ugh. So. Much. Dialogue. X.X

Pros: Great concept, cute all around

Cons: For the love of Celestia, please hire a proof-reader. Heck, I volunteer, anything to make those "Id" and "yea" uses disappear.

quick question.... yeaaaah


WHY THE HELL DOES SHE WANT TO BE HIS PET!!!!!!

8168267
Heh, yea ill admit I do need one. Although some discrepancies are more personal bad habits, e.g. The 'yea's. If you're offering, I wouldn't mind taking you up on your offer to proofread my work.

This is adorably awesome. Well done. :moustache:

8168771

Offer accepted! I can usually be found on the FimFic Discord Channel under "Octavia", or you can PM me here.

So far I love this story I like the real slow build-up

HHHNNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

need to fix the spacing but apart from that its a damn good chapter

*<>* wait ..... /slams on breaks / He STILL HASNT MET THE PRINCESSES .?!?!?
How has that not happened yet ? How long has he been there ? And why were the big labouski ponies not at the bowling ally ?

I gotta say, I really expected this to be a fast-paced story with heavy use of a master/pet play but it honestly is just a regular StarlightxAnon fic with (at the moment) tame elements of pet-play. Not really complaining, the story is trucking along just fine as it is, but since the story kinda revolves around that theme I expected it to be more I suppose. Just a question though(and it will not affect if I will continue the story or not), is it gonna ramp up in the "play department" or will it mostly focus on the romance between Starlight and Anon?

APS

Something i have been thinking about since chapter 2.
Twilight has a pet collar that's big enough to fit on a pony! (or is that her's "pet collar"?, :twilightblush: and why/did fluttershy really give it to her?).

A lot of alternate universe MLP stories have slightly different views on the sizes of humans and that of the ponies. Some have the humanoid like ponies the same size or much taller. In this story its a little hard to tell. I'm guessing that they're a bit smaller, kinda like the size of a medium sized dog.

You say cos a lot in this and I realize that this is a causal fan fic, but that just gets on my nerves a bit.

"The favour I wanted to ask of you, was if you could… pretend to be my loving 'master'… and I be your affectionate pet…"

Can she wash the dishes and/or the laundry?
(Why am I even thinking about something like that...)

Hell maybe Twilight has a collar around the castle somewhere… I mean, she does tend to keep spike on a leash so it would surprise me…

She does?
I made a bit ‘research’ and found nothing official about this.
(But I found quite a bit ‘unofficial’ stuff. Mostly it involves Rainbow...)

"This is lovely. I wonder why Twilight even has it, though. Oh well, I don’t suppose it really matters. I might ask her when she gets back still, though."

Will there be a backstory about this?

We pick the ball up with one hand, and throw it down a long lane towards ten pins. How the hell do you guys pick the ball up with hooves and bowl it down a lane? That is, assuming it's even relatively the same as the bowling back on my world."
"I… can't really explain that, but the concept sounds exactly the same. Pick up a ball and throw it down a lane at ten pins. Only we use hooves."
You decide not to continue thinking about how that works, and just accept it.

Skip to 1:50 and 4:15.

You swiftly shut her up with another boop to the nose. Of course, this was in front of the waiter, so when she licked your finger this time, his face was a mixture of disgust, confusion and knowing.

“I’m working as a waiter and have seen the weirdest shit already...”

Twilight and her friends. And spike, of course.

Spike in no one's friend

Despite the occasional spelling issues, I'm really enjoying this fic. Glim Glam is super cute and I just want to read more cute shenanigans. :rainbowkiss:

Pinkie, you need to learn boundaries. What if he'd been fapping and you barged in?

Absolutely adorable! Will there be any more updates?? :fluttercry:

i.pinimg.com/736x/6f/02/44/6f024436b0e22db757961f8ded15f196--pickup-lines-cute-images.jpg
once you see the pic you’ll die of cuteness!:trollestia:

you’ve been warned!:moustache:
woot~!:trollestia:

8199935 They are supposed to be little for a reason. They are probably aren't half height aren't most.

Holy fuck. I don't mean to be rude, and, correct me if I'm wrong (please let me be wrong), but I think the person who wrote this is dead. I really hope I'm jumping to conclusions though. Like, they haven't even responded to anyone since the middle of May, MAY! Please tell me they're still alive and I'm just being stupid/crazy.

EDIT: Tsk, hold up... Chapter 6 was uploaded on the 23rd which is, in fact, after the 16th... I may have fucked up here, but I still really wanna be wrong on the whole "I think the author is dead" part.

8444895
Ok, I saw this and had to laugh. No I'm not dead, just very busy. I've also been second guessing myself about continuing with this. A lot of people are requesting it though, so I may at least try.

8446426
Ok, this might sound weird, but I was actually kind of scared. I'm glad to know you're alright. Just take as much time as you need/want. Absolutely no rush, good cocoa is better than rushed cocoa I always say.

EDIT: I am unsure if this sounded rude, I really hope not.

8298024
that.... actually sounds rather entertaining

Loved this, please continue!

"Dunno really, throne room? Lounge? My bedroom?"

At least she knows what she wants!

She crouches down with her ass and tail in the air, ready to pounce on it, when you click the button again and the dot disappears.

I suppose ponies lack cat's psycho killer instincts so laser pointer trick shouldn't work like this. Although it's Starlight we are talking about :rainbowlaugh:

I saw that image once. And for the first time in my life my mind didn't go to the gutter. All I through at that time was "Sure! *Starts to let head* who's a good pone? Who's a good pone? Yes you are! Yes you are!" But now. You've gone and done. Corrupted that image in my head!!!!






Still gonna read this though. I am a red blooded male after all

8446426
Pleassseeee!!!!! 3rd time reading it.

8217178
I'm pretty sure his comment about Twilight keeping Spike on a leash was figurative.

8676105
Not necessarily,

The Author is still active on the site and uploaded to his other story back on the 15th of Jan. Sometimes it takes a few months for an Author to get the creativity going.

The Monk

8683430
Fair, but the hiatus status is there for a reason.

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