The Hag, the heroes, and a few other things

by Amaranthine Thought

Undying Loyalty 3

“Rainbow! Stop climbing the rocks!”

She gave a groan of annoyance, but did stop leaping from rocks as she had taken a liking to doing. She claimed that it helped her to calm down, being up high and, even if only for a moment, being in the air.

“Cut it out!” she yelled back at me, “I am sick of you constantly telling me to stop something!” I frowned at her glare.

“Never.”

We stood there, glaring at each other until Pinkie put herself between us. She gave me a bright smile which at least made me hesitate in my anger and then discard it. I stared at her for a moment before sighing.

I wish that that had been the first or only argument I had with Rainbow. It wasn’t. I had several before and many more to come. Even when Rainbow actually did hurt herself it led to glares and sometimes shouting. If Pinkie wasn’t around me and Rainbow would have turned in different directions and wished we never saw one another again, I am sure of it.

Rainbow herself was feeling frustrated being unable to fly, and very annoyed that I was not letting her see her own wings.

I was doing that so she wouldn’t see how bad they were. Her wings were dying slowly, too hurt to keep going. Without my aid, they would simply decay and eventually fall off of her. As it was, I was pushing myself a bit; my power could heal them, not replace them. If we didn’t find a forest within… something about a month, then nothing would be able to cure her.

We were all a touch strained. Rainbow from her wings, Pinkie from the thought of her friends and my and Rainbow’s fights, and me from several things.

There was simply too much for me to be concerned about . The broken elements, finding what I had to find, worrying about Rose and how I was going to contact her; I hadn’t found a bird for days. Feathers needed to find some kind of closure, and how I was going to stumble on that was a mystery. And then Rainbow.

Yes, I didn’t get along with her, but she was somepony that I had to help. And not just because Pinkie wanted me to.

She was so young, so passionate. Her wings were her life, and I didn’t want to see that fire doused. I owed her; I had caused far too many reasons for her to hate me, even if I had managed to explain it away.

If she lost her wings because of me… It wasn’t something I could stand to see . So I ignored the pain in my own leg and forced myself faster.

Two days after our fall, I was still up during the night, worrying. My mind was consumed with what might happen to us, and what could be happening elsewhere. Rainbow had revealed what my actions were causing in places I couldn’t see and I was thinking about that.

I wanted to protect. To end pain, not cause it. I had lived my life like that, but in Equestria, it seemed that everything I had done had caused great concern or sadness in those near me.

It was in my thoughts that I took out the broken elements and arranged them before me. I took happiness out as well and placed the crystal next them. I t still glowed with a soft pink, but I was resistant to its effects right then. If anything seeing it made me ache a little more. I wanted to see Rose again.

I looked at Rainbow, and was reminded why she was even there. She had come looking for Pinkie, presumed dead. Because of my actions. The rest of them were just as pained, and were continuing to be so if she was any indication of her friends. All those problems I had caused for them all came to mind too.

I looked at Pinkie, and felt guilty . She had made the choice to follow, but I had forced her away from her friends. If I had only seen what I was doing, been a little wiser, then she wouldn’t be with me, happy in her normal life.

Maybe it would have even been for the best if I had let them catch me back on that hill.

I looked at the elements again and gently tapped them. My blindness had shattered them, and started everything. I had assumed, and my assumptions had caused more pain than anything I had heard of.

It was then that I recalled that the elements protected Equestria. And if they were broken, then what was protecting it now? What threat may find out, and act upon this?

I laid my head down and shut my eyes. No one I had heard of had done such devastation around them. Nopony in Equestria would have ever messed up as badly as I had. Thinking about everything I caused, and what else I might have caused, tears collected in my eyes.

I thought that perhaps it might have been better had I found my death with my village. That my spell would have worked and I found peace in vengeance and died in my hut all that time ago. At least then I wouldn’t have hurt anything. I began considering my life as near worthless; I was little more than a problem to ponies it seemed.

I know that I was silent in my tears. I’m not sure how she woke, and I didn’t notice Pinkie come over until she laid next to me and grabbed me in a simple hug. I didn’t really respond, the pair of us just staring at the broken elements.

After a moment Pinkie gave a tiny sigh. “Even like that, they still look special.”

“Broken. By my hoof.”

“You’re fixing them.”

“Leaving a trial of pain and tears behind me.”

“No you’re not.”

“Look at Rainbow. Remember what she said. I have hurt ponies, continue to hurt ponies, and for the life of me I can’t seem to stop. Even you; your friends are in pain, and that leaves you in agony. Because of me.”

Pinkie was silent for a moment. “What about Rose?” she asked. I shook my head.

“I’m going to hurt her too. I don’t know how, but I am going to end up doing so someday. I seem fated to.”

“She wouldn’t want to see you like this. I don’t want to see you like this Hag.”

“I have nothing but regrets now.” I said, and then sighed. I heard Pinkie hum to herself, thinking.

“Well… I don’t regret anything.”

“Why?” I asked with more than a little venom.

“I met you.”

“You met a monster who tore you away and hurt everypony you care for.” I hissed, “A monster who shattered your peace and the elements. Meeting me is nothing, less than nothing.”

“That’s not true.”

“How Pinkie? How is it not?”

“Remember back when you first met me? After you broke my element, I was having a hard time smiling. You saw that, and you stopped yourself to try and cheer me up. ‘Find what makes you happy’ you said. And… I learned something important.” I waited, listening.

“We don’t need the elements to be ourselves. They help, sure, but I can be as happy as I want to be anytime I want to be. I found happiness with you, and Rainbow is still as loyal as she can be. The elements support us, but we don’t need them. I think that we might be stronger when we have to go without them.”

“And when you were caring for the CMC, everypony was worried, but that helped too. The fillies don’t always get along with everypony; they can be… a little chaotic. But when they were missing, everypony remembered how they loved them, and when they came back that stuck. I never saw Rarity so concerned over Sweetie before.”

“You met Rose, and helped her to come out of a really sad place and find happiness. When I charged after you, I found what kind of pony you were when we were flying through that spell.”

“I saw that you wanted to help. That you were terrified, but for us, not for yourself. Even in those cold woods, you were fighting to keep us happy.”

“You hurt a lot of ponies, sure, but… look at your cutie mark. Broken notes, a broken harmony. You have a talent for breaking things.”

“So I am cursed then.” I muttered.

“Not really. See how they are so close together that you can tell what they were? You have a talent for breaking things… but you can also fix them.”

“Look at me. I was sad because you broke my element, but then I found you and now, I am happier than I ever have been. No matter what happened, and what might happen, I treasure that I met you Hag. And nothing can take that away.”

“…Really?”

“Really really. I just know that you are going to fix everything so good that everypony will think the same way. Even Rainbow, and Twilight, and Celestia. You can turn pain into happiness so good that they will forget the pain.”

“… Pinkie…”

“Yeah Hag?”

“I… can you promise me one thing?” She nodded.

“If I ever start to mess up again… If I start faltering for any reason… Will you be there to help me? No matter what?”

“Pinkie promise!”

I watched her do her little ritual, feeling much better. Pinkie was a shining beacon of hope, something for me to cling to. But I had one final fear that I didn’t tell her.

I could feel it inside me. A tiny portion of dark magic. The result of anger, sadness, and Discord’s spell somehow interacting to cause my own magic to slowly corrupt. It was why I knew I was going to hurt Rose.

I was not going to continue living much longer. The growth was slow, very slow, but I would be consumed by it in less than a year. I didn’t know what might happen then, but nothing good could come of dark magic.

Pinkie guided me from despair, but I still feared. I didn’t know what was going to happen, and that was terrifying me. I had never heard of any mortal being able to produce dark magic before. It was entirely new.

But it was something I could hide away, and push out of my mind until I had to face it. As Pinkie fell asleep I placed the elements and happiness back in my sack and settled down. After a moment I heard a buzzing sound, and spotted some dark shape flying away.

I dismissed it as a product of my fear. It was probably just some insect that looked bigger than it actually was.