The Cute One 2: Growing Pains

by No one is home

Starlight Glimmer Has Weird Hang Ups

“Wow, you guys really take your Ogres and Oubliettes to the next level!” Sunburst blinked repeatedly, readjusting to the return of conventional reality.

“Well,” Discord examined the back of his paw idly, “I do take a certain amount of professional pride in my work. I mean, any ‘princess’ can rig up a life-sized board game out of paper mache, after all.”

“Thanks again,” Sunburst said earnestly, “After this weekend I really needed to unwind before I got back to my duties in the crystal empire.”

“SOOooo,” Pinkie leaned backwards over the stallions shoulder and asked coyly, “How did your visit with our little Glimmy turn out? Did you ship? Did you go all the way to the top of the friendship tower?”

“What does that even mean?” Sunburst asked in confusion as the rest of the group just rolled their collective eyes.

“Dammit, Pinkie!” Spike griped, “I thought we’d all agreed to never talk about that again!”

“I totally never agreed to that!” Dash laughed.

“Me neither!” Pinkie replied merrily.

“Well I certainly never agreed to anything… literally anything, in the entire history of Equestria,” Discord exposited, “But we’re not here to tease Spike about his naughty adventures with Scootaloo.”

“Ee’nope,” Big MacIntosh agreed, “Ah reckon we’re here to tease Sunburst.”

“Guys, really,” Sunburst held up his hooves defensively, “I appreciate it, really I do… but I’ve had a really rough weekend…”

“Starlight mind-raped you, didn’t she?” Rainbow Dash responded flatly.

“Well… uh…” The unicorn stammered, embarrassed beyond reason.

“It’s okay, really it is.” Pinkie laid a comforting hoof over Sunbursts withers. “If you hang out with Starlight Glimmer long enough, you WILL get mind-raped… it’s just a thing she does.”

“E’eeyup.” Big Mac nodded in sage agreement.

-=-=-=-=-

“Okay, Starlight…” The Princess of Friendship massaged her temples firmly. “We’re not here to judge you…”

“Actually darling, I thought that was the whole point of this meeting.” Rarity raised a questioning hoof.

“Oh, no,” Fluttershy explained, “That would involve a tribunal, and a tribunal require the entire Council of Friendship, and Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash couldn’t make it because it was game night.”

“An also, ah recon we’d need Sunburst here as a material witness.” Applejack rolled her hoof in a bored motion. “And Big Mac invited him back to the farm for said ‘game night’.”

“So,” Twilight rolled her eyes in exasperation, “Like I said, we’re not here to judge you…”

“I thought we were all good?” Starlight

“You used time magic and possibly mind control on Sunburst because you were jealous he was spending time with your other friends,” The annoyed princess replied in her most tired-of-your-shit tone. “We set up the board game to calm you down before you destroyed the world again… DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! You destroyed the world about a half a dozen times over pretty much this exact thing! It is a perfectly reasonable thing to worry about!”

“And yet, the Great and Powerful Trixie enslaves ONE little village, and ponies lose their little minds.” The blue sociopathic magician complained.

“You’re not helping Trixie,” Starlight growled through clenched teeth, before turning to her friends/accusers, “But that’s the thing! I totally didn’t use mind control OR time magic!”

“Sugarcube, it ain’t no use to lie to us,” Applejack replied, her voice thick with contempt.

“Darling, Sunburst already told us how you pulled the both of you back into your foalhood so you could relive your foalhood crush.” Rarity rolled her eyes casually. “Are you saying that didn’t happen?”

“No! Obviously that happened,” Starlight explained patiently, “I’m saying I didn’t use mind control OR time magic to do it!”

-=-=-=-=-

“Wait…” Rainbow’s eyes bulged in shock. “She did WHAT???”

“She polymorphed us both into foals, and hit on me for 3 straight hours.” Sunburst admitted, blushing fiercely. “It was the most awkward thing I’ve ever experienced in my whole life.”

“You should talk to some of Maud’s ex-colt-friends.” Pinkie Pie nodded sympathetically. “I think they’ve formed some kind of support group…”

“So, spill the beans, did you?” Discord asked a little way too enthusiastically.

-=-=-=-=-

“NO! We didn’t ‘do it’!” Starlight glared at Trixie. “That’s gross, we were both foals!”

“Trixie is not one to judge what consenting adult ponies do to amuse themselves,” the great and powerful unicorn explained, “Trixie herself has a fondness for certain Neighponese comics…”

“Ah think the point here is that Sunburst didn’t consent to any of that,” Applejack remarked dryly.

“Wait a minute!” Twilight glared at Trixie. “So THAT’S where Spike got those comics!”

“Look, we didn’t do anything dirty!” Starlight protested.

-=-=-=-=-

“She just wanted us to make board games and make googly eyes.” Sunburst repressed a shudder. “That’s what’s so weird, is that she literally wanted to play out a foal hood school-yard romance as adults… in the bodies of foals.”

“So, no mind control, but still plenty of psychological scarring.” Dash rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

“That’s our Glimmy!” Pinkie proclaimed happily.

“Wow,” Discord replied between mouthfuls of popcorn, “And Fluttershy says I have weird hangups… and I do… but still… just…”

-=-=-=-=-

“...Wow,” Fluttershy was speechless for a short moment before quietly whispering to herself, “Maybe I’m being to hard on poor Discord. This really puts his weird hang ups in a new perspective.”

“I don’t know why everypony’s getting so bent out of shape by this,” Starlight complained, “It’s not like I mind controlled him or anything.”

“Good point…” Twilight mused thoughtfully for a moment before smiling brightly, “Good job, my faithful student! You’ve clearly learned that mind control is wrong and confirmed that I was right to declare you a graduate and disciple of Friendship!”

“So…” Applejack stood up wearily from her thrown, “That’s the lesson we’re gonna take away from this? Who am Ah kiddin’? Of course it is.”

“I’ll see you next tuesday for our spa outing, darling!” Rarity called out cheerfully.

“Sure thing sugarcube.” Applejack smiled on her way out the door.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie must go forth and study polymorph magic… for reasons!” Trixie got up to leave, then turned back to Twilight Sparkle. “And Trixie would also like to ask that you inform Spike that she wants her comics back! A ‘loan’ is not a gift.”

“Trust me Trixie,” Starlight snickered, “You don’t want those comics back.”

Twilight Sparkle smiled serenely, content that all was well in the world of friendship.

Comments

[OmniFox]

Add mind control and polymorph into the multi-shades of hay collection.

[God_of_Awesome]

I feel like this should be its own standalone short.

But funny, yes.

[DarkDMan]

Hahahahahaha! This chapter was so much fun!
Say it with me, "Hentai Manga"!