The Cute One 2: Growing Pains

by No one is home

Sweetie Belle is a Grown Pony

“Spike! What do you think you’re doing?” Twilight scolded her #1 assistant sternly.

“I’m checking out Sweetie Belle’s flank? What?” The young dragon shrugged. “I’m a guy, I check out a hot mare's flanks. Guy’s do that.”

“B- but...that’s Sweetie Belle!” Twilight stammered in shock.

“So?” Spike rolled his eyes in irritation. “Rarity totally friend-zoned me, and that means her sister is no longer off limits. That’s the Wonderbolt code, you can ask Rainbow Dash, I don’t make up these rules.”

“But Spike, you're an adult dragon!” The Princess of friendship argued.

“Yeah, I totally could’ve been Dragon Lord.” Spike chuckled to himself. “What's your point?”

“That’s Sweetie Belle, Spike!” Twilight hissed in an exaggerated stage whisper. “She’s just a little filly!”

“No, I’m pretty sure Sweetie Bell is a grown pony.”

-=-=-=-=-

“I’m glad you all could make it girls.” Twilight smiled at her friends, gathered around the Cutie Map. “I called you here because there is… apparently… an issue concerning the Cutie Mark Crusaders…”

“It’s about time!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed vehemently. “We’ve been dancing around this for WAY too long now. Is Scootaloo an orphan or does she just have really terrible ponies for parents. Either way, my folks are up for fostering her.”

“Ah’m with Rainbow, on this one.” Apple Jack clopped her hoof on the table. “We didn’t wanna say anything to embarrass the poor filly, but the endless ‘sleep-over’ excuse was wearin’ thin. Mah only question is does she have parents to call Foal Protection Services on?”

“No, no, no!” Twilight shook her head vehemently. “I called you here because I’m trying to figure out if the CMC are legally adults!”

“Hmmm, that would simplify the problem.” Pinkie Pie nodded thoughtfully. “If they’re adults then we could just get Scoots an apartment…”

“Doesn't Scootaloo already have a nice house?” Fluttershy asked quietly.

“THIS ISN’T ABOUT SCOOTALOO!” Twilight screamed in frustration.

“It’s not?” Rarity asked innocently enough.

“Well… I mean it’s kinda about all the CMC…” Twilight stammered. “It’s not like I’m trying to single out any one, specific Crusader…”

“It’s Sweetie Belle.” Spike remarked dryly. “She’s talking about Sweetie Belle.”

“Of course the Crusaders ain’t adult ponies! For Celestia’s sake, y’all, they’re just little fillies!” Applejack scowled. “Ah’m not even 100% sure we should count Spike as a legal adult…”

“Totally could’ve ruled the Dragonlands.” Spike held up a single palm in the direction of AJ’s face.

“As I was sayin’,” AJ continued, glaring at Spike, “I don’t agree with it, but that’s dragon law, even if 90% of all dragons are functionally retarded. But mah sister is NOT an adult pony and neither is Sweetie Belle.”

“Well, darling, if they’re not adults, then why are they giving career counseling to ponies all over Ponyville?” Rarity interjected.

“That doesn’t make our sisters adults, Rarity!” Applejack argued. “It just makes the ponies of Ponyville danged idjits!”

“So, nopony said anything about Scootaloo…” Rainbow Dash ventured cautiously. “Does that mean she might be an adult? I always assumed they were all about the same age, but Scoots could just be really short…”

“Applejack, darling, I know it’s hard to accept, but our baby sisters are young mares now.” Rarity gestured with dramatic flourish. “They are making their way in the wide world! Why just yesterday I visited the girls in their office…”

“You mean their treehouse?” AJ arched a skeptical eyebrow.

“Or maybe Scootaloo’s apartment…” Pinkie jumped in.

“Scootaloo has a lovely house,” Fluttershy said quietly. “Although perhaps somepony really should look in to see whether or not she has parents who care for her…”

“Hey, all I’m saying is that I’m about the same chronological age as Sweetie Belle.” Spike held his palms innocently aloft. “I’m not a foal-phile, I’m just noticing a filly my own age.”

“But you’re a legally adult dragon, Spike!” Twilight fumed frantically. “You were almost the Dragon Lord, and if you’re not an adult then we’re all guilty of foal endangerment!”

“Really, this is very interesting, but… maybe we should look into the situation with Scootaloo’s parents… if that’s okay?” Fluttershy continued to reason uselessly.

“Wait! Spikey Wikey was showing an interest in Sweetie Belle?!?!?” Rarity shouted in shock.

“Well, if you’re gonna keep him in the friendzone, then your sister is fair game.” Pinkie Pie shrugged merrily.

“It’s true. That’s in the Wonderbolt Code,” Rainbow agreed, “Right after Bolts before Colts.”

“Yall see, this is what comes of over-thinkin’ things! Spike ain’t no adult, consarned it, and neither is mah sister, and neither are her friends!” Applejack slammed her hoof angrily against the friendship map.

“But if Apple Bloom’s not an adult, then aren’t there laws about foals working in a brewery?” Pinkie scrunched, her face in thought.

“There’re exemptions in foal labor laws that cover family farms, Pinkie and you know it!” AJ glowered at her friend.

“It’s true.” The pink anomaly grinned back. “That’s why we had the family quarry zoned as farmland. Granny Pie was really one sharp tack when it came to foal exploitation.”

“So either the CMC are adult ponies, or we are all terrible ponies,” Twilight Sparkle sighed heavily, “And the only reason we aren’t in all in jail is because Equestrian law is so vague as to be complicit.”

“Also because we’re the elements of harmony.” Rainbow Dash added. “I can’t tell you how many times that’s got me out of trouble for flying drunk.”

“If Scootaloo doesn’t have parents, then how does she pay for that nice house she lives in?” Fluttershy wondered out loud. “I really think we should look into this.”

“Okay, all in favor of declaring the CMC legally adult ponies, and ourselves, by extension, to not be horrible monsters who exploit and endanger school aged foals?” Twilight continued, ignoring the yellow pegasus altogether.

“Sure, why not?”

“Nay.”

“Of course, darling”

“Are you sure we shouldn’t look into Scootaloo’s parents?”

“Yepperoony!”

“Aye. The aye’s have it.” Twilight nodded. “By the decision of the council of friendship, Sweetie Belle is legally an adult and Spike the Dragon is not a pervert. Applejack may, at her leisure write a dissenting opinion explaining why she thinks Spike should be prosecuted as a sexual predator.”

“But that’s not what I… ya know what? Never mind, I gots farmin’ to get back to.” Applejack simply walked away in disgust.

Author's Note:

This has been another Craptacular production of Atabne Studios!

We're sorry.

Comments

[Hope Caster]

This is glorious.

[Mine_Menace]

It's looking to be pretty good so far. Just a couple of complaints: some minor proofreading errors and, since it looks to be a sequel to The Cute One, you should probably link it in the long description.

Other than that, it's looking good.

[Oneyearwarpilot]

Yep sounds about right

[Stonecrop Sedum]

Funny stuff. I'd guess the CMCs are around 13. Definitely not legal adults, but old enough to be called "young mares." Spikes probably like 16, but still physically a baby while mentally 16. This is all just headcanons though. I lulled more than I should have at

90% of all dragons are functionally retarded

, foal labor jokes, and poor Fluttershy bringing up very good questions regarding Scootaloo's situation.

[Boulder]

“I’m checking out Sweetie Belle’s flank? What?”

First part a statement not a question.

“Yeah, ? I totally could’ve been Dragon Lord.” Spike chuckled to himself. “What's your point?”

? = and

“Yall see, this is what comes of over-thinkin’ things!

Y'all

[andrizzi]

Very fast paced and very few narrative, but the humor is good and very focused on the dialogue. Thumbs up.

[DarkDMan]

Totally loving this!

[sip]

I love how all the mares act so silly.. its excellent :D !!!

[No one is home]

11417076
Glad you've liked it. Funny thing, I wrote this series because a friend of mine dared me to write a "cute" story. Then I suddenly ran out of "cute" because it turns out I only had so much.