• Member Since 22nd Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen February 6th

Madame Ponka


I write stories based on a little girl's cartoon at 3:00 AM while hopped up on pizza rolls and bagels.

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Source

Moondancer reads every book in existence and has an existential crisis.

Reading by Lotus Moon

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 30 )

Heh. Moondancer's last line is what really makes this. I wasn't inclined to upvote until the end. Nice work.

8147277 - Well, there's a common headcanon that most ponies are illiterate. Maybe that has something to do with it? It is a pretty low number though.

:rainbowkiss: Wow, Princess Celestia will turn Moondancer into a Princess after finishing her cake... :rainbowlaugh:

I remember hearing someone do a reading about Twilight reading every book in Equestria and having a full mental breakdown. That was just as funny as this one.

8147377

This story actually made me look up how many different books the world has. There's about 130 million, with about 1 million different titles being published every year. (To clarify, "books" here means individual titles, not copies of the books; Harry Potter alone has 143 million copies in print.) This is just an estimate for how many books have been published in the modern age.

This could suggest multiple hypotheses about how comparatively few books there are in Equestria:
A) publishing is much more competitive, and far fewer ponies make it past the front door
B) there were more books at some point in time, but they were lost to a cataclysmic disaster (Library of Alexandria-style)
C) the Equestrian printing press is not yet advanced enough to produce the huge sums of books we have today
D) the Equestrian population is smaller than Earth's population, hence affecting the ratio of writers to regular ponies

At least, these are just a few reasons other than illiteracy for why there are so few books. :twilightsmile:

(Surprisingly, though, this isn't the fictional universe with the least amount of books. On Neopets, for instance, the pet who's read the most has about 3200 books. Very bright children like Twilight or Moondancer could probably do this by the time they go into junior high.)

8147644

Those are some neat ideas! :raritywink:

8147377

Yeah. Now that I think about it, I probably should have chosen a higher number. Oh well. :P

8147427

The Princess Moony cometh
Behold
B E H O L D

I can't believe I'm doing this but...

“You haven’t made any friends, haven’t you?”

That second "haven't" should read "have".
Anyway, fun times around. Heh.

....or she could have gone to the publishing guild and ask for a notification when a new book was in print...:facehoof:

8147673 Mind if I do a reading of this? It's so funny

Welp shes going to need a virgin killer sweater....

...

..

FOR HER WINGS! OK!? FOR.HER.WINGS!!

Ridiculously cute, but Twi comes off as unsympathetic toward Moondancer (you'd think she'd be far less dismissive of book-reading than she is here), and the number of books in Equestria seems... uh...

Unrealistic, let's say.:twilightblush:

8148035

OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH :rainbowkiss:

Ahem, sorry. Go right ahead. Thanks so much. ^_^

8148038

A sweater with wittle wing holes~

8148046

I see what you mean, now that I think about it. I've always been hesitant to write main characters, as I'm afraid I'll make them do and say stuff that's out-of-character, which is why I usually do OCs or minor characers. :P

Thanks for the feedback though!

Babe, this is beautiful
love you
great
great story
love

24709 times say 200,000 words a book, [1] and if Moondancer reads 16 hours a day at a reading speed of 300 words per minute...

...well, that's only 47 years. And if we give her a moderately superhuman reading speed, should be quite doable.

But then as XKCD points out, most books aren't worth reading. :pinkiecrazy:

[1] Most novels are under 100,000 words

8148349 300 WPM is actually rather slow. I read on the higher end, clocking in at over 1000 WPM. Most people read slower, but seriously, have you seen Twilight read? She must read at 10,000 WPM. At that pace, it'd actually take only a year or two to read all those books.

24,709 books is not a lot.

8148590

Well, I was just using "high end of average":1,000 is definitely speed reading. But who knows how fast Ponies with an information-related special talent may read?

8148035 Just listened to it on YouTube, so cute.

Too bad they don't have a Books-A-Million in Equestria. Moondancer would never run out of something to read. She could sit in the store and read books while munching on overpriced coffee and cookies. (I'm being snarky. I do like BAM.)
As for Moondancer figures? Well, I saw a nifty little figure of her in, I believe, a Toy Fair convention. Hopefully, it'll be out soon.
The story was pretty funny, so it's faved.

8152768

Omg I remember Books A Million! I didn't even know they still existed!
And I want that Moony figure so badly~

Thanks for the fave! ^_^

8152795 No problem concerning the fave. I miss Borders. That was my other favorite book store.

8152833

Same here. I used to go there all the time. Was so sad when it closed. :fluttercry:

8152868

I miss Borders a ton. Can't believe it's been six years already...

And I was so messed up by Hastings closing, I actually wrote a fic partially about it.

So you can become an alicorn by doing extraordinary things? That sounds awesome! :pinkiehappy:

8254603

Thanks for the favorite! ^_^

As Princess, Moondancer will soon learn about the portal to the human world with its own books, and its internet...

oh jesus Christ.
YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE MORE CHAPTERS OR POSSIBLY A SEQUEL.
THIS IS NOT A REQUEST.
THIS IS NOT AN ORDER.
THIS IS A FACT.

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