The Folly Of Princesses

by Steel Resolve

Chapter 11: On The Importance of Regular Meals

Luna closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

As much as she admired her sister, she could be so very dramatic at times. “And this was really the only way you could think of to speak with me?”

Celestia smiled, a look of gratitude on her face. “Of course not, but I thought it would impress upon you just how much it would mean to me if you were to help. I know the zoo animals may be a little over the top, but...”

Luna raised a single hoof, shaking her head. “I understand. Of course I’ll help. ”

“Well, I wasn’t planning to do anything more drastic than— wait, you will?”

“Celestia, a simple dragonfire letter would have been enough for this. I understand how much she...” she paused for a second. “They, mean to you. What eludes me is why you think your meddling is required. All I ever hear is how proud you are of Twilight’s self-reliance. What’s different this time?

“I wasn’t meddling... precisely?” Celestia offered with a weak smile.

“You just wish to observe,” Luna said.

“Yes.”

“And meddle only if necessary,” Luna said with a roll of her eyes.

“...Yes,” Celestia replied after a moment.

“So the zoo animals are... what exactly?” Luna said with as bland a face as she could manage.

“Well...” Celestia made a gesture with her hoof. “Right now, Twilight is too focused on her relationship with Pinkie, and I fear my presence hasn’t helped. I thought that perhaps if she had some sort of challenge to focus her attention on it might make her feel more confident and relaxed afterwards,” she said, growing more quiet with each successive syllable.

Luna said nothing for some time, finally nodding. “That actually made a fair amount more sense than I’d thought. Still a bit unhinged, but less so than I had supposed. Rest assured, I’ll make sure that Twilight receives a suitable challenge to bolster her confidence.”

“I was rather hoping for at least a manticore...” Celestia said softly, frowning momentarily before she nodded, “That’s fine. I’ll leave it in your hooves.”

“And you’ll want a full report?” Luna asked after a moment. “Is that why you wanted the nearest spy?”

“Well, yes... but...” Celestia leaned in closer to Luna, prompting Luna to do the same. “I’m going out of my mind with boredom just sitting around the library and reading. But I can’t just go outside or there will be questions and possibly headlines about why I’m in this state, and I just cannot deal with any of that right now. So I could use a bit of help with a foolproof disguise.”

Luna considered that for a moment. “I see. And you haven’t tried transformation magic because—”

“It still takes too much out of me. I need something of a more practical nature. I did manage a minor illusion on my horn, though. I spent the day being a pegasus. It was nice.”

“A pegasus?” Luna asked. “I would have thought unicorn to be preferable.”

“The wings are harder to hide.” Astra piped up from between the two of them. “She did her mane and tail up nice and put on a dress from the old castle. We called her Aurora! She was so pretty!”

“I see...” Luna replied, only now becoming aware of the strangeness of speaking with a schism of Celestia’s personality within a dream of her old garden even while the magical imprint of her long dead lover gazed over Celestia’s shoulder at Luna with a look of pure amusement.

Celestia, apparently not bothered at all by any of the oddities all around her, or perhaps so mentally exhausted from everything she’d gone through to get to Luna to begin with, went on: “Besides that, transformation leaves lingering traces. I am quite sure that magic on that magnitude would make me stand out more to Twilight than wearing a complete clown suit would.”

The Dream Realm, being a nebulous, malleable place, could almost be called consciously capricious at moments. Luna experienced one such moment as her sister, upon saying these words, blurred for a moment to reemerge dressed in baggy yellow pants, a bright green shirt complete with fake flower (which Luna knew would squirt water if appropriately triggered) her mane restyled into a shocking giant ball of flowing color, and a large red bulb at the end of her snout.

Luna suppressed a giggle, but did not quite resist the urge to reach out with her magic and tweak the red orb, which let out a satisfyingly loud honk.

Celestia was speechless for a moment, then fell back on her haunches, staring at the bulb as if it was a poisonous insect and pawing at her nose, thereby smearing the bright red smile she’d had painted on her muzzle. She kept at it for a scant few seconds before giving up with a defeated huff. “I hate this place.”

Luna smiled gently, reaching out with a hoof and releasing a wave of magic through that touch to restore her sister’s former visage. “I’m sorry, Tia.”

“It hates me.” Celestia said, getting back up and trying to regain some semblance of dignity.

“Dreams are... what you make of them,” Luna said after a moment. “I... I know more than many, but even I do not fully comprehend them. I merely try to aid where I can.”

“You have your talent for it,” Celestia said sullenly. “This place is so much more difficult than the moon was, and that was like wrestling an Ursa Major.”

“Because you don’t wrest the moon around, you guide it—” Luna stopped, taking a breath before continuing. “Forgive me, Tia. It’s easy to forget how it is when you don’t have the talent. Your own sun plagues me each morn.”

Celestia chuckled. “It’s like trying to pull the covers from a stubborn foal. That’s why I do it quickly, before it starts grumbling.”

“I did that, and it was noon for several hours!” Luna exclaimed irritably.

“You overshot, I had that happen a couple times myself... during your time away.” Celestia replied with a knowing look. “The history books marked those days as ‘odd Celestial events’.” She leaned forward again, and spoke in a whisper: “I did it with the moon once or twice too. We had to rebuild parts of Baltimare and Manehatten because of the resulting tidal wave. Thankfully this was back when those were still fishing villages so we didn’t lose anypony, although we had to rescue a few ships swept out of dock from their moorings.”

“You overslept?” Luna said, her face a mask of disbelief.

“I... the first century or two were hard, Luna. I don’t remember very much of what happened, just that I depleted most of the country’s stocks of wine and hard cider. I’m fairly certain I was hungover for a good twenty years when I was finally coaxed to stop by some ponies who cared more about me than their own lives.”

Luna was silent for some time before Celestia added: “But it was worth it. All of it. You’re back, and you’re you again.” She smiled quickly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get maudlin on you. I think too much when I’m not busy.”

Luna nodded, her eyes still widened in shock. Perhaps it was the unreality of this place, or Celestia’s admitted feelings of isolation during her enforced recovery, but hearing her sister open up about anything that had happened immediately after the Nightmare had been banished was incredibly rare. She was grateful to have heard even this much, and while she might have pushed for more, she felt doing so might make matters worse. “Well,” she said, throwing a foreleg around her sister’s shoulders. “I suppose we should help you get to that important business of not-meddling, eh?”

“Luna...” Celestia said with an exasperated tone.

“What? You’re allowed to poke fun at my lover from ages ago and I cannot even rib you about the two you’re considering taking under your wing?” Luna replied, looking wounded.

“What about the two you have your eyes on?” Astra piped up with wide eyed innocence.

“Which two?” Luna said with a little smirk.

Celestia looked at Luna in surprise. “Sister... what have you been up to?”

“She’s started a harem.” Night Blossom said from behind Luna’s shoulder.

Luna stomped her rear hoof into the stone path, making one of the stones crack in its wake. “I have not started a harem!”

“Fleur De Lis has decided to build one for her, and Fancy Pants has agreed to join as well.”

“None of these things are true!” Luna exclaimed. She paused, took a breath, and added: “Well, not entirely true. I named the Dame and Knight as my consorts and plan to announce them as such publically, as is my will. As de facto monarch my will is law, none shall gainsay me.”

“Fleur De Lis will most definitely build her a harem.” Night Blossom repeated. “She has already begun preparing a list of prospects ready to meet Princess Luna.”

“She told me she was only considering who to ask!” Luna all-but-shouted.

“That is what she told you, yes. The times you’ve been chatting with her over wine she’s been asking you questions about your likes and dislikes. Especially detailed questions that wouldn’t normally come up in casual conversation... She has been taking notes. For several months now she has been adding to, and refining a list of candidates, and is ready to begin the ‘interviews’ given but a hint of interest on your part. The harem will include a mix of stallions and mares, and I believe she may even have found a yak that might—”

Night Blossom froze in place midword, looking for all the world like one of Celestia’s statues.

Luna said nothing for a long moment, finally turning from Night Blossom to face her sister once more.

“Luna, I—” Celestia began.

“Not a word, Tia.” Luna said tersely.

“I was just going to say there is nothing particularly wrong with you having a harem. Platinum had one, as I recall—”

“Platinum was a debauched harlot and we both know it.”

Celestia merely looked at her sister with an askew grin that all but screamed ‘if the horseshoe fits.’

“It’s not just about having a choice of partners.” Luna said defensively.

“Luna, you really don’t have to justify—”

“She’s quite smitten with Fleur.” Night Blossom said, this time from behind Celestia’s shoulder. “Though Fancy is rapidly gaining her favor. He is a very skilled and considerate lover, if somewhat more inhibited than she would like.”

“Why are you still moving?!” Luna demanded.

“I am a part of your magic, Princess.” Night Blossom said matter-of-factorily. “You could no more stop me than you could stop your own heart.”

“Then why did you stop when I willed it?”

“I was being polite.”

“Then could you please be silent once more?” Luna asked with a pout.

“If that’s what you truly wanted, certainly.” Night Blossom replied, looking completely unrepentant. “I’m not doing anything you don’t secretly want me to, Luna, if only so you can hide behind this deception of having your secrets spilled for you. Your heart wishes to proclaim your love for all to see and hear. And so, I will do what little I can to aid in that.”

“Ha!” Astra crowed. “It would be so much easier living in Luna’s head. But then, I suppose I’d never have been needed. I don’t think you’ve denied yourself anything in your life.”

Luna frowned, thinking for a long moment. “Honestly, I wouldn’t see the point. If you desire something, you attempt to attain it. If it’s denied to you, you earn it by deed or favour. If it cannot be earned, you put it out of mind. Unless it belongs to a foe, in which case aggression is always an option. I’ve started wars over the trade rights to certain foods.”

“She denied herself the pleasure of her Fleur’s company for some time, fearing she was a homewrecker.” Night Blossom intoned quietly. “And in so doing nearly made it a reality.”

“There was no such thing! The two of them are as thick as thieves.” Luna spluttered.

Night Blossom replied with a smile. “I was merely teasing, Luna. Though you did cause poor Fleur some distress with your antics.”

“I already apologized to both of them for the misunderstanding,” Luna said quickly. “I was not to know those idiots would sack their home and bundle them up like so many potatoes in a bag. I merely needed them brought to a neutral location away from prying eyes under cover of darkness.”

“Luna... what did you do?” Celestia asked quietly.

“She hired the Black Hoof to bring Fancy Pants and Fleur De Lis to her.” Night Blossom said matter-of-factually. “Really, she’s lucky they didn’t bring her their heads on a silver platter.”

“I would have razed their organization to the last had they harmed either of them beyond what they did.” Luna said, seething in remembered rage. “I very nearly did regardless.”

Celestia quirked an eyebrow. "Have they really stooped to full-on kidnappings? I'd told them to do just enough to make it look legitimate. Or... illegitimate, as it were."

“They claimed that what I asked was not quite what they normally did, but I explained that my need was great, that I would make it worth their while to do my will. When that proved not enough to convince them, I told them that I would not look kindly on their future existence in the realm, and further that I might take it personally. They were more willing after that.”

“Wait, what do you mean you told them?” Celestia asked, dumbfounded. “They are a clandestine order of assassins, you don’t speak to them so much as you place a request in a hollow of a dead tree along with a sum of gold.”

“I mean that I sought them out in their dreams and bade them to meet me at an abandoned home some distance from the castle.” Luna replied succinctly. “It seemed more expedient.”

Celestia stood, pacing back and forth in sudden and apparent agitation. “Luna, what did you do? They aren’t supposed to be utilized in that fashion! I mean, I have had them perform a kidnapping or two in the past, but normally only to save the life of somepony who would otherwise be killed by other less reputable assassins.”

Luna tilted her head to one side, a small frown on her face. “You... know of these ponies?”

“Yes!” Celestia said vehemently. “I’ve been their de facto leader for some eight centuries, ever since they attempted to kill me in my sleep after an especially long drunken stupor. Some of the nobles thought it might be easier to just kill me and go back to the old ways of having groups of unicorns take care of the sun, even if that happens to be especially fatal for those without alicorn stamina. I was a little upset at the time, and I’m fairly certain I banished the lot of them to Tartarus until I got over the hangover.” She shook her head. “The nobles, I mean. The Black Hoof I presented with a simple choice; work for me, or... well, I guess it wasn’t much of a choice, honestly. They seemed rather enamored with the idea of not upsetting me further. I later learned that I was... am... a bit of an angry and violent drunk.”

“This explains much,” Luna replied, reflecting on barely heard exchanges in hissed undertone as the Black Hoof had discussed her request. They’d mentioned the ‘dark sister’, which Luna had long been used to, but they seemed equally fearful of the ‘light’, if not more so. The idea that they feared Celestia more than they feared her had struck her as odd. She’d put it down to some sort of political pressure Celestia had exerted on their order sometime in the past, but Celestia’s explanation made the whispers, and especially the nightmares, make a lot more sense.

“They’ve been mine for centuries, I’ve had them build up a mystique about themselves. They’re nearly as much legend as you yourself were, and you had them fetching and serving for you...” Celestia said with an incredulous look.

“What? Can’t your little sister play with your toys?” Luna demanded with a mocking grin. “They didn’t seem to mind so very much, after I’d paid them instead of crushing them to a fine paste.”

Celestia smiled, though it was no genuine smile but rather one she might give to a dignitary who had just unwittingly insulted her. “Not toys, Luna. They are tools, lovingly crafted and honed in word and deed. Ponies are not even entirely sure they truly exist, and yet—

“And yet you call me obsessed,” Astra interjected with a roll of her eyes.

“Tia,” Luna said, infusing as much patience and love in her voice as she could muster. “I had need of tools, and mayhap this was not as they were meant to be used, yet they functioned. Will you forgive your poor sister for her ignorance?”

Looking torn, Celestia chewed on her lip for a long moment, before sighing and bowing her head. “Of course, Luna. Just have a care how you use them in the future. I’ve only called on them a hoof full of times in the centuries since I demanded their allegiances, and only at great need.”

“So, they are to be used sparingly. Understood,” Luna said, wisely omitting that Fleur had already turned them into her own clandestine delivery service. A fact they seemed more than fine with, come to think of it. Celestia did not need to know every little thing. “It’s fine. Should I ever feel the need to end somepony’s life, I shall do so personally.”

“Luna, please don’t say things like that,” Celestia replied, looking worried.

“I’m not saying anypony in particular, although I do still have a list if you’d like to—”

“We are not culling the aristocracy, Luna,” Celestia said firmly.

“Fine fine. Though I am told culling can be a healthy thing, what with the removal of dead or otherwise useless parts making the whole stronger. But failing that, I can presently think of nopony in particular I would end. Is that fair?”

Celestia nodded slowly.

“Fine, then we proceed as follows: I shall plan for a minor challenge to Twilight to bolster her confidence as you wished. You shall get in contact with whichever operative we have working in Ponyville—”

“Luna, I need a name. Even I don’t know all of them. They mostly just blend into society, that’s why I’d like some help with my disguise.”

“I shall get you a name. Midnight will surely be aware of your spymaster, he will give us a contact you can trust. Are these plans pleasing to you?”

Celestia sighed heavily. “Yes, that will work. Message me with the name when you have one.”

“Very well, sister. We’ll be in touch with dragon mail shortly. Till then, get your rest, and get plenty of sun,” Luna got up and embraced her sister fondly. “And do not fear, your dreams will be restful from now on, even if I have to reshape large swaths of the Dream Realm myself.”

---

Luna emerged from the Dream Realm after having seen her sister safely off to finishing her dream, posting several of her Dream Selves within reach if Figment reported any more nightmare activity.

Having settled that, she took a moment to look herself over, noting the time as being around midday.

Being up around these hours had a certain sense of unreality to her. It was far too bright for her tastes, ponies seemed much too chipper in their general demeanor. She glared balefully at the windows and wondered if there might be some way to make the sun less bright, and if that would cause a panic.

The answers to which are likely ‘no’ and ‘yes’, Luna thought with resignation. Though the idea of perhaps placing a barrier between herself and the sun bore some merit. Perhaps if there could be a localized storm system stationed just above the city... Something to ask Cloudsdale about.

Beyond that, her options were less good, as magically blinding herself seemed likely to cause problems. Though she imagined she could still make her way around by using a variant of echolocation, as it was how she was able to get around while in mist form.

Something else to ask Middy about, she thought with grim determination. Not the blinding herself part, as she could obviously do that herself if she so chose. Beyond the storm and blinding herself, there was also the option of static spells in all of the rooms of the castle to absorb light, although that could result in effectively blinding the entire castle for lack of visible light by which to see.

Troublesome, Luna thought, letting out a sigh. The more she gave it thought, the more she was drawn to the idea of simply extending the evening hours so that the world did not have to be so very bright during the hours she had to keep in her sister’s stead.

She shook the idea off just as quickly, not wanting to risk another mass panic.

Although... if I gradually increased the night and shortened the day, and explained my plans to the populace... perhaps then... I’ll ask Middy about that, too. Perhaps he’ll be less grumpy about the eternal storm if I pitch longer nights or darkening the castle first... baby steps.

She nodded at the mirror, satisfied with what she saw. The mare who looked back was somewhat the worse for wear, having gotten little actual sleep the previous evening, but she had recovered her regalia from the tangle of garments on Fleur’s floor. Even if she didn’t feel especially regal, she at least looked the part.

She left her chambers, nodding to the Day Guards watching vigilantly for approach from outside, and thus startling them as she came from behind them, ‘accidentally’ running a wingtip alongside their hindlegs and stifling a giggle as both of them struggled to maintain composure.

“Excellent job, you two. You may take your leave for the moment, if you wish. I shall be speaking with Midnight Oil at length for what remains of the day.”

They said nothing, only exchanging questioning glances with each other before shrugging and following her downstairs. They stopped at the base of the stairs, taking position to either side of the stairway.

Luna opened her mouth to repeat herself, then closed it quickly. She hadn’t exactly ordered them to leave, leaving it up to them. If they wished to guard an empty chamber, she was not going to stop them.

Instead she walked on, doing her best not to grunt as the castle staff went by. Though seeing their cheery waves and smiles did remind her to check on whether the staff raise appraisal had been completed. She’d already decided it was going to happen, but still needed to know how much it would potentially cost in the budget.

Arriving at Middy’s chambers, she walked past the guards and knocked loudly. Several moments went by with her staring at the closed door expectantly before one of the guards cleared his throat. A moment or two more found her still watching the closed door, and one of the guards actually speaking up.

“Princess, I’m afraid he is in Princess Celestia’s office, going over paperwork.” The one on the left said with just a hint of nervousness in his otherwise tough demeanor.

She turned in surprise, frowning. It bothered her at times how very still they were, almost coming to resemble statues. So much so that when they actually moved or spoke it could be quite jarring. She’d broken many of her Night Guard of that particular habit while in her presence, at least. “I see,” she said after another drawn out moment of waiting for him to say more. “Fine, could one of you send for lunch? I don’t imagine he’s had that as of yet.”

“Midnight left without waiting for breakfast this morning, Princess,” the one on the right side said, almost as if he wasn’t responding to her at all.

“He can sometimes be persuaded to take lunch, but only under protest,” the one on the left said.

Luna frowned upon hearing that. Being an alicorn, the need to eat was somewhat less important, as her body would sustain itself nigh perpetually if needed. Food was nice, and her stomach liked to be paid attention to on a semi regular basis or it would complain, but it was not a necessity for one such as she.

Ponies like Middy did not have such luxury. They needed to eat or grow weak and weary and other things Luna was not prepared to think about. Middy was not a young pony, but neither was he so old that she should have to think about him not being there.

He also had a wife to consider, who would no doubt very much like for him to be healthy when she next visited.
“Very well. If he protests, We shall feed him Ourselves,” she said, adding just a touch of the Voice to her proclamation. “You on the left, the talkative one, you shall have food sent to the office. You on the right will continue to guard his chambers.”

The talkative guard snapped a quick salute, marching down the hall towards what was presumably a kitchen. Luna made a mental note to get the know the layout of the castle better. Knowing where food could be found was important.

She nodded to the less-talkative guard, approving of his slight nod in return.

Perhaps some of the Day Guard can be persuaded to be less stoic in Our presence, she thought, feeling somewhat pleased.

It was the small victories that often mattered most.

---

A short journey later found her in her sister’s tower, in the offices that were just below Celestia’s living space.

It was a rather large and sprawling chamber for one pony, because in the past it had been occupied by many more ponies than just Celestia. As recently as fifty years ago, in fact, she’d had a small team of clerks to help her in her daily affairs.

Whether by happenstance or simple thoughtlessness, they had not been replaced as they’d died off by old age. If rumors were true, the last group of clerks had uniformly been ‘married to their work’ types, not even feeling the need for interoffice dalliance, and thus having no children to pass their skills down to. With nopony to replace them, Celestia had absorbed the extra work into her own schedule, and before long it had been her alone.

Luna shook her head. It was just like her sister to simply ‘work harder’ to make up for the deficiencies of others. Not her. The room would be fully staffed before Celestia returned to her share of the duties. This, too, would be rectified just as soon as she knew the impact it would have on the finances.

Perhaps, she thought, We should consider offering bonuses to those who produce their own heirs, or failing that, a robust apprenticeship program.

For the moment, the one pony occupying the space was Middy, looking very small in a chair built to hold a much taller and (though her sister would be wroth with her if she said it aloud) wider pony than he. Such was the size of the desk that he actually had to get up to look over some of the documents spread out on the surface, before thinking better of it and simply lifting them in his magic.
He did not stir immediately on her entry, the door having been left wide open for any and all to approach. At first she was incensed that he didn’t have several guards watching the entryway, but then she became curious as to how it was accomplished.

She cleared her throat at a volume just above her normal speaking voice, careful not to invoke the Voice, much as it might have pleased her were Middy any other pony. She had no wish to startle him.

“Ahhhh!” Middy exclaimed, a sheaf of papers flying up into the air as he jumped in the oversized seat.

Luna frowned, but quickly caught the pages in her own magic, restacking them and placing them back in a neat pile in front of Midnight.

“P-princess!” Midnight said as his eyes landed on her after wildly darting in all directions for the source of the noise. “I hadn’t gotten word that you’d returned!”

Luna regarded him with a single raised eyebrow, then smiled. “I only just finished my rounds. I wanted to talk to you about a few matters. Have you eaten?”

The question seemed to puzzle him, as he looked down at his empty coffee cup. “I... something yesterday, I believe. Or perhaps the day before? I’ve been occupied.”

“Just as well I sent for lunch, then,” Luna said, pulling an empty chair from a similarly empty desk and putting it down in front of the large desk. “So, that is a lot of paper before you. Is any of it important?”

“Some,” Midnight answered, stifling a yawn with a hoof. “Much of this is of the ‘rubber stamp’ variety. It’s supposed to be more of a formality than anything, but given what’s happened with the embezzlement everything needs to be double checked. Really, there was one thing I wanted to bring to your attention over it all, however—” he said, pulling a brown folder from the mix of papers.

“In a moment, Middy,” Luna replied, deflecting the envelope from her airspace. “My sister is going to need to get in contact with one of the spies in Ponyville, so I’ll need you to reach out to the spymaster for cutiemark and passphrase information, or however they do that these days—”

“Princess—” Middy said, “I’ll make the arrangements, but you really should look at this—”

“Also, I need to know how much it will cost to give the castle staff a nice raise. Something generous but not likely to break the treasury.”

“I’ll... check with the ponies in the accounting office,” Midnight said with a look of surprise. “We’re still recovering the funds from that embezzlement problem some time back but I believe we’re flush enough to make that happen. Now, if you could look these reports over—”

“Finally...” Luna began, then looked away from Middy as she trailed off, uncertain how best to ask her next question. “Middy... I’ve... I’ve met somepony. Or... well, two, and I wanted to make a formal announcement about them, perhaps have a ceremony of some kind... We’d have to make it up, there isn’t even a name for what they’d be to me, but I want ponies to know about them...” Luna trailed off again, blushing. She looked at Midnight once more. “I’d need help trying to decide if it’s more of a wedding or a government appointment... Well, they won’t be getting paid, so I suppose it’s not a job...”

A picture floated across her field of vision, obscuring Midnight from her. It was of herself, Dame De Lis, and Sir Pants enjoying a drink in their private chambers. A second one followed, of Fleur sneaking a kiss on Luna’s cheek.

She smiled despite her confusion. Fleur looked adorable as she blushed, something Luna only rarely got to see. She debated whether to have the image framed for her bedside table. “Middy, what am I looking at?” she asked after a moment.

“These were taken from the rooftop of a building some three blocks from the estate of Fancy Pants, Princess—” Midnight began.

Luna cooed as she saw that the next picture was of herself kissing at the nape of Fleur’s neck. Fleur had laughed so very loudly, but of course, Luna had been unable to see her expression, having had her muzzle buried in Fleur’s mane.

She gathered the photos in her magic, carefully stacking them. “Are there more?” she asked, in the vain hope that the answer might be ‘yes’.

“There are, though some are far more... personal,” Midnight replied, looking away from her to the desk.

Luna’s eyes lit up, and she took the proffered envelope from him and began looking over the images one after another. What she saw amazed her, as she knew well what parts of Fancy’s private living quarters they’d been in at the time, and getting a direct line of sight would have required traveling some number of miles to the west of where the original shots had been taken.

“These are from our spies, Middy?” Luna asked after carefully putting away one image in particular that showed her having climbed atop Fleur on Fancy’s bed. Her eyes flashed to the door behind them, and her magic firmly closed it. “I suppose I have only myself to blame, I only asked for my guard detail to allow me to go alone. Expecting I would not be observed at all was foalish.”

She pulled out another image, this one of Fancy rearing up behind her, and quickly put it back deep inside the folder, the blush on her cheeks deepening.

“These were recovered by one of our spies, Princess,” Midnight said carefully. Diplomatically.

Luna frowned, taking out another image. “These... were not taken by one of our own?”

“They were taken by a reporter trying to get a scoop at your expense, Princess. Luckily, one of our own did spot him doing so, and managed to apprehend both him and his photos before he made a nuisance of himself.”

“Ah, so he was imprisoned,” Luna replied, feeling somewhat relieved.

“Not... exactly,” Midnight replied. “We would have had to put him on trial, which would have potentially involved introducing his pictures as evidence. He’s currently a guest of the castle, though not of his own choice.”

Luna pulled out another shot of her sipping wine out of Fleur’s mouth, her frown deepening. “A presspony took these?”

“Press Pass, he was a member of your sister’s Press Corps. One of the ones you drove out for failing to do what they were there to do.” Midnight replied. “He seems rather driven to embarass you.”

Luna nodded thoughtfully, “And he is our guest?” she asked quietly.

“Until it’s decided otherwise,” Midnight replied. “I wanted to consult you on the matter, after making certain to acquire the evidence.”

“I see,” she said, mentally calculating how many miles this press pony had traveled, how much research had been put into finding the perfect locations from which to observe, and the timing it had taken to get the perfect angles for these pictures.

Luna was many things to many ponies, but she could appreciate the dedication and time this pony had put into what was presumably a revenge of sorts. She had seen it as dispensing with ponies who had grown complacent, but he likely saw it as a grave injustice. The need to correct such a thing lit a fire in one’s gut.

Fires could be useful, if correctly controlled.

“Middy, I would like you to hire this pony for me,” she said.

“Princess,” Midnight replied with a look of ever-suffering exasperation. “I’ve told you before, we cannot just set ponies on fire—”

“We said hire, Middy. As in We wish to recruit him to observe and report for Us,” Luna clarified, slipping into the royal We as she spoke for the crown in that moment.

“Princess, this pony invaded the privacy of yourself and that of two prominent members of society!” Midnight replied, looking somehow more shocked than ever. “We should not just let that go unpunished!”

“Well, you were the one who said we couldn’t go setting ponies on fire...” Luna said with a smirk.

“Princess...”

“Fine, fine, no immolation today, then. And I didn’t mean not to punish him, Middy,” Luna replied patiently. “He did do as you say,” she paused, considering Middy’s words. She could understand his confusion, as normally a pony stalking her might have bothered her, but revenge was something she understood. Something she, in fact, could even admire.

She certainly admired it more than the complacency she’d seen in the faces of the Press Corps just before deciding to chase them all from the room. If even one of them had shown the type of initiative she was seeing, she might have spared them all.

She could also see talent in these images. Particularly the ones he’d captured of Fleur blushing, and the one of her in mid-moan. “Fine, not a job then, community service. We require of him a deed, to prove his contrition and his worth as a potential contractor.”

She held up the envelope. “I will be confiscating these, as well. They will not be needed, as I have no wish to imprison this stallion for thwarted efforts.”

Midnight seemed ready to protest, but apparently thought better of it, which was just as well, because having had them come into her possession, there was simply no way Luna was going to be parted from these pictures without having had a thorough chance to study them in detail, most likely alongside Fleur.

Perhaps, if things went well, this Press Pass could be persuaded to take more.

“I suppose it would be one way to deal with him, and he’s certainly been loud enough about wanting to be set free. Though somehow I doubt his own living space is nearly as nice as the rooms he’s occupying now, and he certainly doesn’t mind receiving room service,” Midnight replied. “Very well. Would you like to meet with him?”

There was a knock on the door, shortly followed by a smiling unicorn mare carrying a silver tray, which she set down and opened to reveal two plates filled with steamed vegetables and rice, two salads, and a piping hot crusty loaf of bread next to a tray of butter.

Midnight’s stomach grumbled loudly. “Forgive me!” he said with a blush. “I think perhaps it’s been longer than I had guessed. I... suppose he’s been waiting for this long. A bit longer can’t hurt.”

Luna nodded. “Yes, we’ll leave just as soon as you’ve had your lunch,” she paused, then added: “And while we eat, I wanted to talk to you about the sun, Middy, there is far too much of it.”

“Wha?” Midnight said around a mouthful of rice.

“I suppose I could position a disk of the purest darkness over the city but I’m not sure how ponies would react,” she said, spearing her fork into a carrot and waving it around for emphasis. “The same is true for the light diffusion spells, though I suppose we could solve that by giving everyone in Canterlot an extra lamp or two, I’m trying to find a solution that won’t require me blinding myself, you see...”

“I do think that would be a little drastic,” Midnight opined genially as he buttered a slice of bread.

“I thought so too, but I’m willing to entertain other solutions.” Luna replied, taking the proffered knife and butter dish from him. “I was thinking we could also gradually increase the length of the night by an hour or so, or set up some sort of perpetual storm system—”

Comments

[Aurora Dimmet]

Oh glorious Dawnmother, no. Celestia, you know how these things turn out. You miss a little development here or there, one iota of information, one hint that the tides are changing, and the plan you make for how things were winds up messing up what you wanted to happen that was likely moving in that direction already.

Also, Luna finally had a chance to execute someone for attempting to harm the reputation (and thus much of the social power and standing) of the Crown (and in a monarchy, the country and everything/everyone in it belongs to the Crown, thus harming Equestria) and she admired him instead. Darnit.

[Steel Resolve]

9904790
They were very good pictures of Fleur. And the man was clearly willing to go to great lengths to both get his shots and stay unobserved.

[Hoof of Approval]

I mean if u good... we gon' use u.

[Darkstarling]

That’s a good way to deal with the troublesome. Admit your admiration and hire them. I approve.

Celestia’s well intentioned meddling is going to go about as well as Discord’s.

And I see no one has yet introduced Luna to the wonderful modern invention of Sunglasses. Maybe she have them renamed Moon Glasses.

[AppleTank]

9906320
I'll be honest, despite basically wearing sunglasses every day i forgot about them too. The echolocation thing in smoke form is a cool thing though.

[Yami Vizzini]

Great. So I guess Twilight and Pinkie are going to find themselves stalked by a royalty-backed paparazzo.

[Steel Resolve]

9912099
Well, no. If he does his job right, they'll never find him at all. Both Pinkie and Twilight have proven to be very easy to stalk in past episodes.

[Kapuchu]

I really wanna see the rest of Luna and Middy's conversation. It looked fun!

[Wydril]

9912511
Wasn't Pinkie usually aware of it and just played along to make the other party happy?

[Steel Resolve]

9917769
More than likely. She probably had a 'feeling' someone was watching her, but wasn't concerned about it. I imagine her senses would tell her if the watcher had ill intent.

[Whiteout]

9912511

I suspect in Pinkie's case it's less being easy to stalk and more not really minding. For all that she seems flighty, that is an uncannily prescient ponk.