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Filthy Rich has to go on a important buisness trip leaving Diamond Tiara with Spoiled Rich and a peculiar nanny named Nanny De'foal. However, things take a strange turn as Spoiled Rich suddenly turns to a foal by this mysterious mare and Diamond Tiara is left to care for her mom.
But,Diamond Tiara will have to eventually find the nanny who turned her mom into a foal, and find a way to turn her back to normal.
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Hope you learn your lesson, Spoiled. Otherwise, you're gonna be stuck as a foal for a long, long time.
I love defoal so much there need more story on her!
Interesting story idea but I get a nagging feeling the nanny will turn out bad. Pretty sure Filthy won't like his wife as a foal
Huh.....I'll be honest I didn't expect much before reading this but now that I have, well, guess I'll be sticking around for the rest of this fic.
8141396 Well, she had no intention to turn Spoiled into a two year old. Spoiled did that to herself.
8141402 but she DID turn her into a four year old. It just gives off the "strange new villain " vibe to me
8141435 Only because Spoiled was still being bossy at eight years old, and trying to ruin Diamond Tiara's life. She deserves at least a little bit of humility to understand how to be a better pony.
No one would blame you Diamond if you just left her at an orphanage and forgot allll about her.
Try making DT a little more vindictive and sassy. Try to bring back some of her old character traits.
Grammar error in the description...
Also spelling and punctuation.
Loving this and great to see a redemption story for Spoiled. I've seen to many Spoiled goes to jail or worse fics that I want a story that the show always does is redemption...
I can't wait to read more!
8141542 Filthy: "Diamond where is your mother?"
Diamond: "I don't know I have not seen her since she left the day you did to go on your trip"
(meanwhile at an Orphanage)
Spoiled: "But I am NOT a FOAL!"
8141627
That's funny! And that would make a great story!
8141553
Sorry I was going for a more mysterious version where the motive is unclear
Diamond should just flush spoiled down the toilet.
8142226
I'm not talking about that but more about her attitude. Her attitude seems a little too nice.
8142293
I was thinking she couldnt just burst in and be sassy and mean until after she revealed her true nature. The idea is she transforms mean ponies or naughty foals and she had to go undercover to get to diamond tiara her true target. I might make a few more stroriies about her. And will go more into context on her true persoanlity. I do respect your care for this character. Thank you
8142302
I was talking about Diamond Tiara.
8142330
Oh...
8142260 You mean like Spoiled did to Diamond in your story where Diamond got turned into a foal?
8142579 Yes
8143378 I don't know. On the one hoof, I think Spoiled deserves to be punished, and I'm sure Diamond would fish her out of the sewers before long. On the other hoof, I don't know if Diamond would be that cruel to a defenseless foal, even if said foal is her mother. I can imagine DeFoal didn't intend for Diamond to utilize Spoiled's condition to get even.
8142385
So I hope you're going to return some of DT's original personality.
Wow! As I do not believe we have seen any sign of Diamond Tiara since her befriending the CMC I am most elated to have a story to read that does follow up where it seems she and her mother left off.
I like the Nanny. She is most clever while her accent makes her very intriguing.
I can truly believe Spoiled Milk Rich would behave in such a way. Filthy Rich at least got some degree of manners and knowing his limits from his grandpa and father who were close to the Apple family. Spiled doesn't seem like she has had any real exposure to any such lessons and, well, now she is. :)
Great place to leave off the Prologue. Now we have a lot of potential waiting for Spoiled, The Butler, and most definitely Diamond Tiara. :)
Better enjoy your time as a foal, Spoiled. Maybe when you turn back to being normal, you'll learn a thing or two?
Missing 'want'
Missing 'it'
Other then that the structure of certain parts are a bit 'messy' but not too bad.
Interesting story so far. I look forward to seeing it progress.
I hope that Diamond makes Spoiled do the most embarrassing things imaginable
8150761
Thanks for the advice. I fixed the mistakes
8150945
Don't worry she will
Oh boy, I'm sure Diamond is going to do the most embarrassing things to Spoiled. I wonder we'll she even remember it?
8151098
Oh she might
Chapter 1 is definitely leading into some intrigue. The nanny is gone with no trace beyond her potentially tending to the shop while we find Sweetie being Diamond's most trusted pal of the CMC. It is also quite apparent Ms. Milk is mentally aware of her situation but unable to do much more than comprehend her situation.
Most definitely a great chapter for building up what will be coming up ahead. Reminding us of all the characters, how they interact, and all the variances brought about by the nanny. Here's to what's next!
Nanny De'Foal is a good actress, but Spoiled deserves to stay a foal until she can learn her lesson. Maybe a good spanking or two the first time she misbehaves will teach her to not be such a brat.
Story is moving along nicely.
Here are a few things I noticed:
Probably mean "was at"
try
"And" can never be the start of a sentence. Changing the period after friend to a comma and lower-casing the a in and should work.
Second part: She instead of her, repeated word "might"
"could tell anypony"
Man, Defoal sure can act like nothing has happened at all at the Diamond House. I have to wonder what Spoiled is thinking about now seeing the CMC in her house and her daughter taking care of her.
8167147
I fixed the mistakes thank you
Chapter 2 has a lot of excellent story development! Definitely a lot to think on as we progress into the coming chapters.
Great job working in more characters in a natural way. It's hard to have a story with lots of characters being involved at once. However this one is going by quite well. Gives a nice sense of a full world as opposed to how some characters who you know should be around somewhere just happen to be missing to make things work out within writing limits. :)
Scootaloo had better take as many humiliating pictures of Spoiled as possible.
8168455 Yup, make Spoiled see what it's like to be publicly humiliated, and then maybe she'll learn to straighten her ways.
I just hope that Spoiled doesn't have too much fun as a foal.
Great chapter. Just one little mistake midway where you used AJ instead of AB but overall amazing chapter
Would we see Spoileds perspective? I would love to see what she has been thinking about all that has happened so far.
Spoiled Rich? More like Soiled Rich, eh?
8181348
nice
Great job bringing in the Season 7 references! There was certainly a lot of character development and food for background in "Forever Filly" and "Parental Glidance".
The fashion show was expertly put together. You made sure not to break continuity while giving us a great experience that ties a lot with the canon universe. Well done!
8190484
Thanks so much. Im happy that your enjoying the story.
Embrace your inner foal, Spoiled! You know you wanna!
And now Nanny De Foal is on Equestria's wanted lisy for attacking a princess with baby dust
8212372
Problem is nopony is going to remember her.
8212437
I remember her