• Member Since 7th Jun, 2012
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Shadeol


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Starlight suddenly finds herself the target of her two closest friends' affections. Only, she doesn't know what to do. Pick one? Neither? ...both?


Cover art by bobthedalek

How aren't there more fics about this adorable trio? I've never been so disappointed.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 22 )

This has sooooooo much more potential, we are still left without a decision being made. It kind of feels cut off before it should have been. I ran into the exact same problem, but this would definatley be wprth continuing. The characterisation is there, the leadup is there. I feel like you could do ATLEAST another part on this. This is a great story, I really liked it, it would only get better with more.

8143231 I was initially gonna go on a bit longer, but I wanted to see how an (somewhat) open-ended ending felt. I think I'm definitely gonna do an epilogue for this, and maybe more later on if it's well received.

Thanks for the kind words! :twilightsmile:

8143266

I'll look forward to reading it :raritywink:

Sorry, that's not my cup of tea.

8143769 No worries. Thanks for giving it a shot.

Squee! This was utterly adorable and this also makes me wonder why there aren't more of these! Though I do wish we knew Starlight's decision :rainbowhuh:

You did a good job setting the mood and making everybody's motivations clear. Since you asked for something constructive...

I would recommend spending some more time on Trixie's voice. While having her speak in nothing but third person would be too over-the-top in a story where she's one of the main characters, the complete lack of it starts to stick out. Especially during her magic show -- her ego would definitely be on full display there. Instead of "So, is my audience ready for my next trick?", it would be more in character if she said something like, "Now, be prepared to witness Trixie's next jaw-dropping feat of amazing magic!" Plus, it's fun to have an excuse to write scenery-chewing lines like that.

I agree that some sort of resolution would be nice. You successfully set up Starlight's conflict, so we're interested in seeing how her conversation with Trixie and Sunburst turns out. (I'm sure others may disagree, but I'll even go so far as to say that the resolution doesn't necessarily have to be a binary yes/no from the affected parties.)

8147578 I can agree with the Trixie point. I'm always conflicted on whether I want to make Trixie fully speak in third-person or let her drop that thing amongst friends. I usually try to lean towards the latter, but you're right that I should make something like her show reveal her third-person side more.

As for the resolution, I've realized that I kinda teased a lot of people ending it how I did. I'm currently working on an epilogue (and maaaaybe continuing further, depending) that'll go more into it that should hopefully be pretty satisfying.

Thanks for this, though. It's always nice to hear how I can do better.

I'd love it if this got a sequel.
Normally I don't ship Starlight and Trixie, but since this is a three-way relationship, I'm making an exception for this one.

I'm glad you concluded this. It's nice when the shipping calculations solve for values other than two.

im so happy that cadences suggestion was polyamory! as a poly bisexual myself, im always happy when potential love triangles turn into polycules instead! not that polyamory is for everyone, and it takes just as much if not more effort than a regular relationship, but im glad when writers even consider it an option.

8147601

I know hard he is on himself, but I also know that he's one of the most brilliant unicorns I've ever met.

Missing a how in there
I know how hard he is on himself

Outside their door, a pink alicorn giddily trotted away while giggling to herself. "Girl, you've still got it."

Mi Amore Cadenza, Love Extrodinaire.

9306293
The three of them in a herd together

9306424
Heh, I haven't even read this fic, but I was sure of such conclusion. lol

Should this story be posted in one of these group ?

Picked by the fands
OR
Choose your own story

"So, when's the other pony leaving so we can be alone?"

You actually used the scene from the title picture? Perfect. 👌:rainbowkiss::trixieshiftright::moustache::heart:

Is there a sequel in the works?
(please say yes)

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