14 - Are You Ready to Party?
They cut through Ponyville in a direct line towards the boutique that Rarity resided in. "Hey Laud!" called a waving Lyra. "Where ya going?"
Laud returned the wave, with more fingers involved. "To Lady Rarity's. She has business that requires me."
"How fancy." Her eyes fell to the smitten Spike. "And you brought Spike."
"Should I not have?" That was the second pony to imply he shouldn't keep company with Spike. Was there something he was missing?
"No no! Just, uh. Hey, Spike?"
"Yeah?" He snapped out of his little reverie. "What's up?"
"Tell Bonnie I'll be a minute late, please?" She flashed a big smile.
Spike grunted softly, but went running off. With him gone, Lyra stepped forward. "He has a little baby crush on Rarity. It's kind of cute, but also kind of distracting. Just keep an eye on him. Rarity can usually keep it in hand on her own, but it's something to bear in mind."
That was far less troubling than Laud had worried. For a moment he had thought perhaps Spike was some sort of outcast he had not noticed, someone he would have to avoid if he wanted any social mobility. "How young is Spike, as a dragon?"
Lyra lifted her shoulders. "If it helps, Twilight hatched him when she was already about six."
That was not as helpful as it could be, not knowing Twilight's age. Still, six years younger than her was a start. Spike came dashing back, his mission complete. "Alright, we should move on. Be well, Miss Heartstrings."
Spike asked as they continued, "What was she talking about? Trying to set up another fight between you and Bon Bon?"
"Nothing of the sort." He looked around the street, noting the ponies had no reaction to him anymore. He had become another part of their town. He supposed being outside with Maud, learning Pony English probably helped with that. Yes, Pony English. It was the best way to describe the equine noises that had the syntax and grammar of English. That reminded him. "Spike, do I have an accent?"
"Well, yeah?" He lifted his shoulders in a helpless shrug. "I mean, we all do. Applejack and Rarity's are the thickest of the girls, while you get the honor among my guy friends. Nothing wrong with that. I mean, I understand you, and so does everyone else." He pointed ahead as the boutique came into view. "Here we are. You can ask her if you want, but she'll say the same."
He strode to her door with purpose and rapped on it. Pony doors, the ones not built for castles, were a bit shorter than he would have liked, but so were ponies, being on all fours all the time.
"Come in," sang a voice from inside as the doorknob glowed a soft magic and it swung open to reveal the fashionable interior.
Spike and Laud entered to find Rarity running some fabric through her sewing machine. "You caught me just as I was finishing up, darlings. Please, a moment." She guided the clothing with her hooves even as her horn glowed, multitasking to get the job done right. She pulled the cloth through and held it up, letting it open to reveal it to be a dress suitable for a pony to wear. "It still needs a few finishing touches, but it can wait. Sir Laud, a pleasure." She set the garment on a hook and hopped off the stool she was on to face them. "And Spike as well! What a fortunate day, bringing all my gallant gentlemen at once." She gave a little light-hearted giggle. "But you didn't come to listen to me ramble. This way, darlings."
She trotted on light hooves to a curtain. "You've been made to suffer, Sir Laud. No noble should be forced to subsist on one set of clothing." With a tug of her horn's magic, the curtain fell aside, revealing two sets of clothing sized quite specifically for a human, not a pony. "I present, the Hawkwood Line!" She cleared her throat. "Please do forgive my using your house's name, darling. It's for you in the end."
Laud stepped forward slowly, a little bedazzled by the smart-looking suits. One looked fit for a ball, a little floofier than he would have liked it, but quite formal. It spoke of elegance and nobility. "You are a true craftsman," he breathed out, running a finger along a sleeve of the suit, admiring its pleasing texture. "And I see you understand the duality of my responsibility." His attention slid to the other suit, built clearly for rougher times. It still had the subtle touches that spoke of refinement, but the sleeves were straight and there was not a hint of poofiness about it. The texture was a bit rougher and he imagined the fabric was tougher. It was a fine suit outside of formal settings that might even see battle.
He approved of both. "Lady Rarity, this is--"
"Before you say it, no, this is not 'too much'." She tapped a hoof as she smiled at him. "You are our guest, an ambassador from a foreign land in dire straits. Besides, don't you worry, I can bill Twilight, who will bill Celestia, and everything will work out. I have my ways."
Rarity's admission of having a line to be paid was amusing, but also comforting. "It's good to hear you aren't setting aside your business for me, Lady Rarity."
Spike waved the idea of it away. "Rarity knows her stuff." He was peering at the suits. "Do you really like this?" He poked at one of the floofy bits. "She's made me wear stuff like this."
His displeasure was clear to Laud. "Being a noble means wearing to strike an image. Different situations may call for different images." And it hit him. Why were pony signs of nobility anything like human ones? Why wasn't this wonderful gift a strange blend of alien cues and signals? Instead it looked lovely. That mystery had to be solved... "Lady Rarity, thank you."
She fanned herself with a hoof. "You just keep being you, darling, and we'll have no troubles at all. Now, the fitting room is just over there," She pointed to a curtained off area. "Do me the honor of preparing yourself for the soirée Pinkie has planned."
Laud carefully plucked the clothing free of the mannequin that held it and went off to try it on. Rarity nudged Spike gently. "See, that is a true noble. He understands that appearances do matter."
Spike rolled his eyes. "I guess if you're going to a 'frou frou' party, but this is a Pinkie party, it's, like, the opposite of that."
Rarity lifted her shoulders. "I have no doubt she will attempt to inject levity into the proceedings, but this is important. It's Sir Mountbatten's first true time to greet us all formally, and to be greeted. It's so wonderful he can speak properly now. To think, that refinement, hidden under ignorance. It was simply unbearable."
Spike crossed his arms as he leaned back against a cabinet. "He isn't much a noble of anything right now."
"That's where you're wrong." Rarity began cleaning up around the shop, putting things away and tidying. "Nobility is as much in the way one behaves, dear. Besides, if one of those things he used to come here exist, why not more? Why, just imagine, this new line could become a 'thing' as it were. I could sell to other humans that come to Equestria."
Spike thought of it. "Yeah... what if they aren't as nice?"
Rarity rolled a hoof. "Spike, we can't think that way. Opportunity does not wait for those too timid to reach for it. Unruly customers are a part of the business, but one must move past them. You saw how much he appreciated what I made. If even one out of ten of his peers thought the same, why, that would be a victory, Spike dear."
As if summoned, Laud emerged, garbed in his new outfit. His sword hung at his side, his personal effects transferred to the new attire. "You measured me while you were repairing my other suit, I imagine?"
"Guilty as charged," sang Rarity. "How did I do?"
"Quite nice." He flexed one arm and the other, testing how it held up in various positions. "You have a good eye for your craft, making something that... accommodates." He was proud for remembering that word. "Considering the differences in our builds, that is."
"There are other bipeds." Rarity picked out a hat and floated it over to her own head. "Minotaurs, younger dragons, all manner of creatures that may wish for a touch of style, and who am I to deny them? Why, I've quite happily made some outfits for Spike-Wikey here. You will be dressed properly, I assume?" She gave Spike a rather pointed look as she said it.
"O-oh, of course, Rarity." He bowed towards her. "It would not do for a gentleman to disappoint his lady."
A titter escaped from her. "Yes yes, go on then. Put your other clothing away and be ready."
Laud and Spike left the boutique, the larger with clothing draped over an arm. "I should have predicted that, considering the lady's profession."
Spike hiked a thumb back at the boutique as they went. "She loves making new designs. When she can make a few bits doing it is even better, so this was what she wanted." He let out a soft sigh. "Lady Rarity, that's a nice way of saying it... So, uh... does that make me 'Sir Spike'? That sounds pretty cool."
Laud did not want to crush Spike's feelings like an egg, but neither did he want to imply that using 'Sir' freely was a thing one should do either. "Among... my people, the title of 'Sir' carries specific meaning. From what I hear, you could become a 'Sir'. You need only become a knight, perhaps to your royal companion, Twilight Sparkle. If you were her knight, officially, you would be a 'Sir'."
"Huh, really?" Spike's eyes were on the tower/castle they were heading towards. "I gotta talk to her about that. 'Sir Spike'..." The taste of the title seemed to be pleasing to the young dragon.
"Do not reach for a title simply for the honor of bearing it. It is a duty." Laud put his free hand over his heart as he walked. "To be a lady's knight is to be her sword and shield. It is a duty, an honorable one, but it is a duty, and one you should seek to do well if you do it at all."
Spike lifted his shoulders. "Hey, look, I've been doing that since before Twilight was a princess. Why not make it official and get the respect that goes with it?"
Laud could hear some bitterness there, and it poked at him. "Do the others not regard you highly?"
"Well... sometimes?" He glanced away. "It's complicated... but... sometimes I'm just 'that baby dragon', or 'the help'. They don't look at me like a pony sometimes... Has that ever happened to you?"
It had not, not to Laud. He had been instructed from a young age to be proud and to take his nobility with the utmost certainty and conviction. He knew better than to just say that, however. Spike didn't need to hear that. "You are not a pony, but neither am I. You should not try to be either."
"Then what should I be?"
"Spike. You should endeavor to be the best Spike you can be." He waved a hand up at the tower. "Now let's see the outfit Rarity made for you. She clearly likes you, even if not in the fashion you would perhaps prefer. She is a friend, and that is a treasured thing to have."
Spike's cheeks warmed. "Y-yeah... Yeah." He slumped. "But what if I want to be more than just 'friends'?"
Did he dare to give dating advice to a young dragon, one that at least one pony called a 'baby'?
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The best advice for Spike is whatever will help him give up his doomed crush/accept it is doomed with the least damage to his optimism and self-worth.
Easy, right?
The worst advice is whatever keeps him clueless. Whatever encourages him to devote himself harder to Rarity in hopes she comes around, ultimately leading to disappointment and bitterness after years of devoted service, and what is probably a terrible attitude toward new romantic interests, in that everyone's outcome will be harmed. It's not a good strategy for Spike, in that most people will not inherently love him (and possibly not even respect him) for his devotion, and for those that don't want to abuse his devotion they will at best be in the place where they have to uncomfortably turn down someone who is overly persistent, or face an bitter Spike who has failed too consistently.
... Laud did the right thing in not basically saying "No, Spike. As a noble of my house I am indisputably important and by the time I encountered people who want to look down on me I already had an unshakeable sense of self
importanceworth."Also, this chapter sure was about partying, eh? It's all discussion about Spike's crush with somewhat sobering tendencies. Paaarty~
The party of the first part enquired to the party of the second part about getting to the party of the thirty sort with the party of the third sort?
Thats a lot of diplomatic party, which aint no party at all.
Spike's more of a majordomo than a knight. If anything he's more indispensible than just another swordsman, even a titled one.
As for the advice, I think the best course of action there is not to say anything. It isn't Laud's business, and there are some challenges even a Hawkwood shouldn't take on.
Also, interesting case for typo watch:
It's spelled "frou frou," but it feels appropriate for Spike to misspell it in his disdain. (Also, I suppose this means Pony French joins Pony English.)
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Found another typo while re-reading the chapter, again. Are you saying there are battles the Hawkwoods can't win?! The nerve, really.
This is NOT something I ever thought I would see! Emperor of the Fading Suns was my first introduction to sci-fi feudalism and really is one of my absolute loves. I wish they had managed to make the games work better.
That being said, I don't think there are any single seat ships that are set up to activate the gates - though its been years so maybe they introduced them after I got away from it. The smallest I knew of was a freighter or a small frigate. And even a Marquise would have an entourage. And a Hawkwood at that. Last I heard, a Hawkwood was on the Throne. Maybe al-Malik would have been better ... though Hawkwood's obsession with their own pretty-boy nobility would gel with the ponies better I suppose.
And here I am, rambling on.
Anyway, I really like the crossover idea here so I will stick around. Thank you for doing this. Man, I should load up those old games again ...
Edit below - double post.
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A Hawkwood resides on the throne, but that same Hawkwood tried to distance himself from the house, to keep things fair.
Hawkwoods are funny that way. Laud is a member of the Mountbattens, a sub-house within Hawkwood.
You made me consult the RPG, which... leaves it very much to the GM. Jumpdrives in general are rare things, and could be in any ship that needs to get from one sector to another, regardless of its size. Due to a lack of ability to actually make half the stuff they're using, most ships are modified heavily from where they start. Laud's ship was no exception.
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Okay, didn't know that about the drives. My main source are the few computer games in that universe and whatever reading I could find on ye olde internets pre wiki/Google era.
This did make me start looking up more info now that we have those resources. It's not a lot but it's easier to find and more in depth than Yahoo group discussions.
out of
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Depending on the time and place, almost every adult male noble was a knight. Princes, Dukes, etc were also knights, and certain roles (like MajorDomo) were usually filled by nobles, so they would also be knights. Knights who were only referred to as "knights" were usually lower nobility who were full time men-at-arms, but pretty much every Lordship also had a "Sir" as a backup.
In Equestria, I wouldn't be surprised if Blueblood, Kibbitz, Shining Armor and Fancypants held the rank of knight (obviously, awarded for wildly varying degrees of deed versus bloodline). So almost any MajorDomo or Senechal of a Princess will either start as a knight, or be awarded that title. Since Spike's legal guardian is a Princess, that would probably put him in line for at least a knighthood.
Also, isn't Spike Knight of the Crystal Empire in canon? I mean, he's officially Sir Spike the Brave and Glorious, right?
The phrase is "dire straits," as in ocean straits, difficult and perilous to navigate.
*straits
I know the language barrier was dropped. But How did they learn he was a noble and his house name in the short time between chapters without him explaining that to them?
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That is his name. He is Laud Mountbatten, of the Hawkwoods.
The best advice for Spike is one that Dan Savage has given many a teenager: "Stop trying to get your 14 year-old self laid and start trying to get your 20 year-old self laid."
It's also pretty much the advice Laud gave him.