Ponyville Noire: Tails of Two Private Eyes

by PonyJosiah13

Case Five, Chapter Nine: Monopoly on Force

The security guards marched them down the hallway back towards Monopoly’s office. The redhead knocked at the door.

“Come,” Monopoly’s voice barked from within. The mare opened the door with her magic and stepped aside to allow entry. Phillip, Daring, and Flash all glanced at each other, then as one, stepped into the lion’s den.

Monopoly’s office was as large and grandiose as the pony himself. The carpets were all in a golden color that was harsh on the eyes; the blue and white walls were lined with photographs and paintings of Monopoly himself. The room was split in half by a Japonese standing screen decorated with images of seven smiling ponies sitting on a sailing boat. Monopoly was sitting behind a maple desk, his eyes on a sheaf of papers in front of him. He was sitting in a large cushioned chair that was obviously specially designed for his weight and bulk. A tumbler of what looked like scotch and a glass sat on the table to his left; to his right was a small crystal statuette of a pony in armor bearing a shield that he was using as a paperweight.

The trio entered, followed by two security guards, and the door shut behind them, locking with an audible and very punctuated click. Monopoly languidly studied the papers in front of him before signing on the last page. He then placed the papers into an “Out” tray, replaced the pen he was using in a holder in front of him, and reached for the tumbler. He filled the glass half full with the scotch. Only then did he look up at his guests.

“Those are the shichi fukujin,” he said, gesturing at the screen. “The seven Japonese gods of luck. I find them...inspiring.”

Flash swallowed and shifted nervously. Daring licked her lips, not taking her eyes off Monopoly’s dark green irides. Phillip had to fight to keep his breathing steady. Cold wind blew down on them from an air grille over their head.

Monopoly took a long drink of the scotch and set the glass back down on the table with a sigh. “Some ponies in my position don’t believe in luck,” he continued. “But I know that luck is real. Chance. Twists of fate. Playing the long odds. It’s how I’ve gotten where I am.”

“Get to the point,” Phillip grunted.

Monopoly stood up slowly; every pony in the room had to tilt their heads back to look up at him. He walked around the desk, moving with a deliberate economy of movement, no energy wasted.

“I took a chance allowing you in here to search,” Monopoly said, his voice suddenly taking on a cold, dangerous edge. “Because I knew that chance would pay off. The great Phillip Finder, Ponyville’s biggest busybody, and his thief marefriend; they always get their pony, no matter what.”

Daring took a half-step backward, staring up at Monopoly. Phillip held his ground, but his tail twitched. Flash’s chest rose and fell deeply as he breathed.

“Where,” Monopoly growled, his green eyes glowing with vengeance. “Is. The. Changeling?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Phillip said flatly, his tail twitching again.

“Don’t play me for a fool, Finder,” Monopoly said. “There were dozens of witnesses at the Apple Pie when that freak showed itself, and plenty of ponies saw your marefriend defending it. And mere hours later, you show yourselves at my office, searching for a pony? It does not take a genius. Where is it?”

“Didn’t find it,” Phillip answered, his tone steady.

Monopoly stared at him for a moment, then grunted. “I want you to understand something here, Finder,” he said, his voice calmer and quieter as he reached up and fastidiously adjusted his silk tie. This tone was somehow much worse than his growl. “As gargantuan as my hatred for you is, none of this is personal; this is all business to me. And I’ve found that the key to successful business is to find the enemy’s assets and undercut them. In your case…your friends.”

He gestured towards the screen, which suddenly moved aside to reveal Trace, Red, Prowl, and Bumblebee, all of them kneeling, cuffed, and gagged with a Cerberus guard behind each of them, pressing their revolvers against the back of their heads.

Flash and Daring’s eyes widened in horror. Phillip stared at the captives for a moment, then whirled back towards Monopoly, his face an emblem of hatred and fury. “You bastard,” he snarled in a voice like an approaching cold front.

Monopoly smirked. “Consider this my final offer,” he said. “Turn over the changeling, or your friends die.”

“You can’t get away with this,” Flash said, trying to glare even as his wings trembled from fear. “You’re kidnapping and threatening police officers. You—”

“Boy,” Monopoly interrupted him, turning to him for the first time. “Where do you think the funds for your department come from? Did you buy that pistol on your hip? Who do you think paid for that uniform you’re wearing?” He smirked. “I own the police, which means I own you. You’re just another asset to me, boy. And when an asset is no longer serving its purpose, I liquidate it. As in, blood.”

Trace stared at Phillip, fear shimmering in his eyes. Red and Prowl both tried to squirm free, but the guards restraining them pressed their guns tighter against their heads, holding them still. Bee had his eyes closed and was trembling, clearly preparing himself for death.

“One last time,” Monopoly declared. “Where is the changeling?”

The trio faced him in stony silence, even as they shook with rage and fear.

“You have until three, and then I’ll kill one of them,” Monopoly said. “One...two…”

Just as “three” was starting to form on his lips, the ceiling above the four guards holding the captives burst open. A gold and gray shape tumbled down from the wreckage and landed atop one of the guards, squashing them into the ground. A kusarifundo whipped through the air, striking another guard’s wrist and disarming them before striking them in the head.

As if the crash had been a prearranged signal, Phillip reached into the back pocket in his vest and, with a motion that was obviously practiced dozens of times before, withdrew his boomerang and threw it out. The weapon sliced through the air, arcing as though it had a mind of its own, and struck the other two guards in their foreheads, stunning them long enough for the intruder to attack them with a simultaneous flying punch-kick combo. At the same moment, he shifted his weight onto his forelegs, checked over his shoulder, and bucked backward, striking both guards behind them in the chest and stunning them. Flash whirled around, drawing his pistol and taking aim, covering both of the other guards and the door. The door opened and the two guards outside stepped in, but quickly halted when they found themselves on the wrong end of Flash’s .38. He gestured them all to back out of the door, which he quickly shut and locked.

It had all happened so fast that neither Monopoly nor any of his henchponies had any time to react. Monopoly could only stand and stare openmouthed, his eyes panning back and forth across the scene. He looked at one Daring Do, who was standing, frozen and trembling, next to Phillip and Flash; then turned and looked at the other, who was standing amidst the four unconscious Cerberus guards, grinning at him from beneath the brim of her of pith helmet.

“How?” he choked out.

---

“I have an idea,” Daring said. “We came in here, so there’s no possible way we can be the changeling.”

“You think if he disguises himself as one of us, we can get him out of here?” Flash asked.

“If they didn’t find him, and we don’t have him, they’ll have to look elsewhere,” Daring reasoned.

“Monopoly’s not going to let us go that easily,” the changeling pointed out. “He’ll stop us and squeeze us for info. And then we’ve got whole floors of security guards and ponies on his payroll to fight through.”

Daring turned towards the window. “So we don’t fight through them,” she said. “We get out through the window.”

“That’s double-laminate magic-reinforced bulletproof glass,” Phillip pointed out, tapping a logo embossed into the glass. “No way we could break it from inside.”

“So somepony breaks it from the outside,” Daring Do said to his reflection.

Phillip thought for a moment, then his eyes widened. “You were against her being involved.”

“Her job will be to get in and out with us,” Daring said, her face falling into more serious lines. “She’s not going to be fighting; hell, she won’t even be in here for more than a minute. And besides, you have a better idea?”

Phillip frowned in thought for several seconds of silence, during which the changeling and Flash looked back and forth between them in obvious confusion. Finally, he grunted. “Fine. But how are you going to get to her?”

“Through there,” Daring said, pointing up at a grille for an air duct over their head.

“Those aren’t designed to support a pony’s weight,” Phillip pointed out.

Daring just smirked and spread her wings out slightly. “Little trick the Family taught me: I can use my pegasi magic to make myself lighter.”

Phil pondered for a moment, then nodded. “Let’s do it,” he said.

The changeling looked back and forth between Daring and Phillip for a moment, then took a shaky breath and closed his eyes. His body was enveloped by green flames for a moment, then a duplicate Daring Do stood in front of them. “You sure this will work?” she asked Daring.

“I’m sure that this is our best plan,” Daring said, taking the enchanted contact lenses out of her pocket and carefully placing them into her eyes. She flew up towards the grille in the ceiling, and carefully pulled it out of its slot. She flew up into the shaft and replaced the grille behind her.

The air duct was small and tight and smelled of mildew and dust; if it weren’t for the night-vision contacts, she wouldn’t be able to see three feet in front of her. Spreading her wings slightly to catch the thick wind blowing beneath her, she imagined herself as light as a feather; the familiar tingling of flight magic in her wings slowly spread throughout her body, and she began to crawl along the shaft, moving on just the tips of her hooves to avoid making noise.

She could faintly hear the others moving beneath her; pausing to listen, she heard them get confronted by the security guards at the exit door and be ordered to Monopoly’s office. Recalling her mental map of the floor, she crawled along the duct, turning corners to reach Monopoly’s office. She paused at another grille and looked down into the office, watching as the others were brought in at gunpoint. She crawled on to another grille, glanced down, and gasped.

Beneath her, she could see Trace, Red, Prowl, and Bee being held hostage by four guards, hiding behind the Japonese screen.

Fuck. Gonna have to switch to Plan B now.

Spotting an exit vent, she pushed through it and exited the building, embracing the rain and cold wind. Reorienting herself, she flew around to the front of the building. As she had hoped, Twilight Sparkle was still standing in front of the offices, and next to her was a familiar pegasus mare in the yellow vest of a weather pony, the same mare that Daring had seen pause in midair as they were entering Monopoly Investments.

She swooped down and landed in front of the duo. Twilight started in surprise. “Daring, what’s happening?”

“Trouble,” Daring said. “Twilight, get to a callbox and call for backup. Monopoly’s goons have taken the others hostage.”

Twilight gasped, nodded, and ran off to find help. Daring then turned to the other mare. “Kid, I’m gonna need your help.”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened in surprise and delight. “Me? Really?” she said. “I mean, how can I help?”

Daring quickly explained the situation. “We need to get the others out of there, and fast,” she stated. “When I take out the guards covering them, you need to break the window, fly in, and get them out.”

Rainbow Dash scoffed. “That’s it? Easy. I could do that with my eyes shut.”

“Don’t get cocky,” Daring warned her. “They still have guns, and if we fuck this up, ponies are gonna get hurt.”

Rainbow Dash nodded, her face falling into serious lines. “Right! Got it!”

“Get something heavy to break the window with first,” Daring advised her, already lifting back off the ground to fly back. “You’re gonna need some momentum. Wait for my signal.”

“Okay, got it!” Rainbow said, lifting off the ground.

Daring flew back around to the broken vent and flew back inside. She crawled back through to Monopoly’s office and paused over the vent above the four hostages. She reached into her shirt and extracted her kusarifundo, a plan for attack instinctively forming itself in her brain.

“One…” she heard Monopoly counting. “Two…”

Daring took a breath and dropped.

---

“You lose,” Daring smirked at the stunned Monopoly.

At that moment, there was a loud smash as a trash can broke through the window, assaulting everypony in the room with a blast of cold wind and rain. Barely half a second later, a rainbow sliced through the room, snatching up the bound hostages and whisking them out of the building in the blink of an eye.

“Go, go!” Daring shouted. The changeling, spurred to action, ran for the broken window and dived out; Flash flew backward after them, still covering the doorway. Daring flew over to Phillip and seized him beneath the forelegs, heading for the window as well.

But that’s when Monopoly finally reacted. Lunging for his desk, he grasped the statuette of the armored pony and twisted the head. Instantly, a bright blue bubble of energy blossomed from the statuette, expanding to cover the walls, the doorway, and the window.

Daring rammed into the shield with a grunt, the pain spreading across her shoulder forcing her to drop Phil. "Shit!" she spat, turning around and bucking at the shield. It felt like she'd tried to kick a brick wall, her bones howling in pain.

“A little gift from a friend,” Monopoly said. “That shield will hold back a tank.” He stood up slowly, undoing his tie and shrugging off his suit. “Now, it’s just me and you.”

---

Rainbow Dash landed upon the sidewalk, all four of the rescued ponies tumbling off her as her momentum halted. Panting from the exertion, Rainbow peeled the tape off of Prowl’s mouth.

“My keys, get my keys!” Prowl ordered. “On my belt! Get these cuffs off!”

Rainbow Dash quickly located Prowl’s hoofcuff keys, extracted them from her belt, and unlocked her cuffs as Flash landed. She and Flash quickly did the same for the other three.

“Thanks,” Trace grunted, peeling the tape off his mouth as the changeling landed next to them, panting. “Okay, Bumblebee, you and I are going to escort our witness to safety. Prowl, Red, Flash, get back in there and help the others; stupid assholoes are in over their heads again.”

“You got it,” Red grunted, already taking off with Flash.

“Come on, sir...uh, ma’am,” Bumblebee urged, grasping the changeling’s foreleg and guiding it down the sidewalk. The changeling, still disguised as Daring Do, nodded and followed numbly.

“Keep an eye on it,” Prowl advised him, giving the changeling a brief glare before flying back up with Red. Rainbow Dash hesitated for a moment, then followed them back up.

The ponies reached the broken window, only to find their progress blocked by the energy wall. Red kicked the shield as hard as he could, but there was no effect at all. Growling, he flew back a few feet, then charged forward and shoulder-rammed the shield; all he succeeded in doing was hurting his shoulder.

Flash drew his sidearm, only for Prowl to force his arm down. "Are you nuts?" she snapped. "What if the round ricochets off it?"

"Right," Flash winced, holstering his pistol.

“Let me try,” Rainbow Dash said. She flew back several feet, then charged forward and rammed into the shield. She might as well have just tried to headbutt an iron wall: the shield refused to break and she wound up slowly hovering back, holding her head.

“Shit!” Red cursed. “Any other ideas?”

“This is a powerful shield,” Prowl said, tapping the energy wall. “Almost as tough as steel. We’re not going to break through by ourselves.”

“So now what?!” Red shouted, throwing his hooves up in the air in frustration.

Rainbow Dash flew back a few feet and charged again, ramming ineffectually into the shield again and again. Flash, Prowl and Red could only watch in dismay as Monopoly faced off against Phillip and Daring.

---

Monopoly slowly tilted his head from side to side, loosening the neck muscles with a very sickening cracking noise.

Phillip growled as he drew his baton, snapping it open with a flick of his wrist. "Let's finish this," he spat.

“Wait,” Daring said, raising a hoof. “We can talk this out. You’re a businesspony, you know that.”

Monopoly paused, considering Daring.

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to say to you,” Daring continued calmly. “Something that’ll change everything. And this might be my one opportunity to say it, so I’m going to.”

Slowly, Monopoly lowered his hooves and relaxed his shoulders. He said nothing but gave a subtle nod for Daring to continue.

Daring glanced at Phillip, who was staring at her in confusion, looked back at Monopoly, took a breath, and spoke:

“You are so fat that when you go to the beach, the tide comes in.”

Everything froze. Every eye stared at Daring with astonishment and shock. Phillip’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. Monopoly took on an expression suitable to having been struck in the face with a sledgehammer; this, Daring reflected, was probably the first time in years that anypony had dared to insult him to his face.

“No?” Daring asked. “Okay, how about this one: you are so fat that when you go jogging, it causes earthquakes.”

Monopoly’s face slowly creased into an expression of pure rage: a vein started throbbing in his forehead, a dark redness spread across his countenance, and Daring thought she could faintly hear the sound of a tea kettle whistling.

“Daring?” Phillip muttered, backing up a half-step so that he was almost pressed against the wall, his tail twitching.

“Hmm, tough crowd,” Daring mused. “Okay, one more: you are so fat that if you go outside wearing a yellow jacket, ponies yell, ‘Taxi!’”

Monopoly let out a bellow that shook the entire room and charged at Daring Do like a train. “YOU LITTLE—!”

Both ponies dived out of the way, narrowly missing being steam-rolled by the advancing mass of flesh; Monopoly’s momentum carried him forward and he smashed into the magically-reinforced wall headfirst. He staggered, dazed.

In a blur of gray, Daring dived for the statuette, snatching it up off the table. She twisted the head back into the original position with a grin of triumph...only for said grin to quickly turn into a look of confusion when the energy field remained in place.

“Oh, did I forget to mention?” Monopoly sneered. “It only works for me. Security is something that I’m willing to pay top dollar for.”

“Too bad you couldn’t pay top dollar for a personal trainer, fatass,” Daring retorted, throwing the statuette at him. He ducked and the little statue hit the wall behind him, shattering into pieces.

Phillip lunged in and snapped his baton at the side of Monopoly’s knee, the wind whistling with the attack. The baton smacked against Monopoly's foreleg, the stallion grunting as he blocked and countered with a swing at Phillip’s head; Phil barely slipped the punch, the missed attack knocking his trilby from his head.

As Monopoly's other foreleg torpedoed for Phillip's head, Daring wrapped her kusarifundo around his limb, dropping her weight and holding him back; it felt like she was trying to hold back a train, her muscles burning as she fought his massive weight.

Monopoly turned to snarl at her, only for his breath to leave his lungs in a great whoosh as Phillip's hind hooves battered into his gut. "Get off!" he snapped, grasping his captured foreleg with his free hoof.

"Whoa!" Daring yelled as her hooves left the floor. Monopoly swung the yelling Daring around like an Equestria games athlete at the hammer throw.

Phillip had to throw himself to the ground to avoid her; as she passed over him, the rope untangled itself from Monopoly's foreleg, sending Daring flying through the air with a scream of "Shiiiit!"

Daring crashed into the wall with a grunt, slumping to the ground in a heap.

Phillip rolled away to avoid Monopoly's hooves coming down like a pair of pile drivers; the pair of blows cracked the floor. "Stay still!" Monopoly snapped, launching a flurry of strikes. Every blow that Phillip blocked by mere centimeters made his arms ache like the mobster's hooves were sledgehammers; Monopoly’s face was an expression of pure rage, throwing his massive weight into every blow.

Suddenly, Daring pounced on Monopoly’s back and wrapped her kusarifundo around his neck. Choking, Monopoly scrabbled futilely at the cord, stumbling around to try to throw Daring off.

Phillip's baton cracked against the larger stallion's knee, sending him to the ground with a roar of agony. His face red from fury and lack of oxygen, Monopoly quickly whirled around, using Daring as a shield. Phillip balked, his eyes widening as he nearly struck Daring.

He paid for his hesitation when Monopoly's elbow battered into his face. Blood exploded from his broken nose and he was sent flying, his baton clattering to the ground as he crashed into the desk, collapsing to the ground in a heap.

Monopoly then turned and slammed Daring against the floor; Daring yelled in pain as her already cracked ribs were crushed between the floor and Monopoly's bulk, the fiery pain sending all the air from her lungs.

Monopoly's elbow began to jackhammer against her head. Stars flashed across Daring’s vision with every blow, each of which felt like they were cracking her skull open. Another blow caused her vision to white out and she was forced to let go.

A moment later, she felt a crushing weight sit on her chest, pinning her to the ground. Her vision slowly cleared to reveal the blurry shape of Monopoly sitting atop her, a grin on his face. He reached down and grasped her throat in both of his hooves, squeezing so hard that she thought she could feel her vertebrae being crushed. Her lungs burned and panic raced through her mind; she hammered at his thick forelegs, trying to break his grip, but he held on like a vise, his forelegs as unyielding as steel pipes. Darkness started to form across her vision; she struggled, squirmed, and kicked, but all in vain, unable to escape Monopoly’s crushing weight.

---

Trace and Bumblebee reached their vehicles, which were still parked outside the gun shop from before. Trace opened up the rear passenger door of his Commander and held it open. “Get in,” he ordered the changeling.

The changeling hesitated, staring at the open doorway. He slowly turned and looked back towards Monopoly Investments.

“They need help,” he said softly in Daring’s voice.

“They’ll be fine,” Trace urged. “Get in the car.”

The changeling looked back and forth between Trace and the distant shape of Monopoly Investments, then his eyes hardened. Lifting up into the air, it started flying back towards Monopoly Investments.

“Hey, come back!” Bumblebee shouted, but the changeling was already out of earshot. Puffing, he turned towards Trace. “Now what?”

Trace frowned for a moment, then plucked his microphone off the hook with his magic and held it up to his mouth. “10-33, 10-33, officers need immediate assistance at Monopoly Investments.”

The changeling flew all the way back to the building and spotted Red, Rainbow, Flash, and Prowl outside the window; Flash, Red and Rainbow were still hammering at the shield, while Prowl flew back and forth in a slow circle. The changeling could feel their emotions: the hot, prickling taste of fear and worry bubbled in his chest.

He flew up to level with them, studying the shield preventing them from reaching their friends. He could see Monopoly sitting atop Daring’s chest, squeezing her throat, a vindictive grin on his face; to make matters worse, the four guards that Daring had knocked out earlier were waking up, picking themselves off the ground. Phillip was groaning as he tried to rouse himself, shaking his head slowly.

Prowl spotted the changeling and glared. “What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded.

The changeling looked at her, at the shield, then closed his eyes. In a flash of green flame, he dropped the disguise, revealing his true form. Sucking in a breath, he reached out with his senses, his natural instincts picking up on the taste of all the surrounding emotions. The prickling of fear, the rolling boil of anger, the icy ball of worry in the pit of his stomach.

But beneath it all was the strongest, most powerful emotion of all: love. It filled his veins, every inch of his body becoming alive with the warm tingling, the sensation of absolute power that came from the emotion and all that it carried. Love for friends, for family, for lovers, for coworkers, for this city, for ideals, all that the ponies around him carried within them filled his core, lending him the strength that came from those convictions.

The changeling who had been Mint Breeze and Headline Jot, who had stood up for this city and the ponies in it, stuffed all those emotions into the bottom of his soul, crushing them together into a ball, allowing the heat and pressure to ignite them, then opened his eyes. His horn lit up with a green glow and fired a beam of energy at the shield. The beam struck the shield, which flexed beneath the pressure and heat of the energy. Cracks began to spread across the wall.

The pegasi and thestral watched in astonishment as the changeling fired his spell. The insectoid wings buzzed loudly, becoming higher and higher pitched as they fought to keep aloft. A yell tore out of his throat as he poured more and more energy into the spell. He reached into his soul and opened the valves on his own love, the love that he had known as Headline Jot, as Mint Breeze, as a dozen other faces who had stood up for this city, who had fought for its ponies, who were standing up and crying out for justice within him.

The shield flexed, cracked, and then, with a flash of light, shattered. Monopoly and the guards inside flinched away from the light and noise.

Rainbow Dash flew inside in a blur of color, crashing into and bowling over the four guards and sending them sprawling once more. Flash, Red, and Prowl were right on her tail, tackling Monopoly and bringing him down onto the floor. Before the great financial leader knew what had happened, he found himself flat on his back, hoofcuffs clicking around his wrists.

Defeated, Monopoly could only glare up at his captors, panting as sweat dripped off his brow. He looked over at the crystal statuette, which had shattered into pieces, then back out the window at the changeling, who had flown inside and was watching the scene, his posture slumped and exhausted. Approaching police sirens wailed from the street below.

“You haven’t won,” he snarled.

Daring smirked at him, massaging her bruised throat. “Says the one in the hoofcuffs.” She turned to Rainbow Dash and nodded. “Nice work, kid.”

Rainbow Dash, who was hovering over the unconscious guards, puffed out her chest proudly.

“What do we do about it?” Prowl asked, jerking her head at the changeling.

“Sarge,” Flash chided gently, massaging his aching, bruised forelegs.

Phillip turned to the changeling. “What’s your name, anyway?” he asked.

The changeling seemed to think for a minute, then let out a buzzing noise. Everypony stared at him in confusion.

“Oh, right, you can’t understand our language,” the changeling muttered.

“How about Buzz?” Rainbow suggested, prompting further stares. “What?” she shrugged.

“I...I like that,” Buzz nodded.

Daring nodded. “Cool. You need to hide somewhere.” She reached into her shirt and pulled out a folder. “Once we’re done here, we’ve got some translating to do.”

Comments

[Umbra Animo]

Pain all monopoly will know is pain

[Titan Commander Sebaste]

Oh man, Daring really went all out with the insults! You'd think she was asking for 'pun'ishment!

( Shutting up now...)

[PonyJosiah13]

8887352
"I had a few more in reserves in case I needed to get him angrier. Real shame that I couldn't use them."

"Right. Because he wasn't already about to crush our skulls."

[The Bricklayer]

Eagle was right, someone was a really bad detective here...

[Micro-song]

8897590
Alrighty

[Micro-song]

Mah goodness, those jokes are clever...

[Enduring Man-Child]

Wow...didn't know us fat people could be such good fighters.