• Published 18th May 2017
  • 4,968 Views, 665 Comments

Ponyville Noire: Tails of Two Private Eyes - PonyJosiah13



Daring Do is a thief trying for a second chance. Phillip Finder is a private detective with no scruples. Ponyville is a city embroiled in corruption with war on the horizon. They may be the only hope for law and order left.

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Case Three, Prologue: No Witnesses

Dark clouds streaked across the sky over Ponyville, the half-moon and twinkling stars having to fight against the clouds in their battle to shine down on the city. The waves of the Maresippi river lapped lazily against the banks, the soft splashing mixing with the sound of an engine as a police cruiser traveled across the riverside street. The cruiser’s headlights fell on the front of a three-story marble block-shaped building. The pure white stone edifice stood on its own on a large block. The dome-shaped skylight set on the roof reflected the stars and the moon above. Two old-style gas lanterns, their wicks replaced with electric bulbs, were set into the front wall, illuminating the revolving door between them. A sign over the door read “Ponyville Central Bank.”

The sleepy griffon officer inside the cruiser paused in the middle of the road and briefly swept the spotlight attached to the door of his cruiser over the front of the bank, checking for any signs of a break-in. The windows and door showed no sign of any damage, the interior of the bank was dark, and there was no sign of any movement within. Yawning, the officer switched the searchlight off and continued down the street, following the street lamps to a nearby twenty-four-hour coffee house that he was familiar with.

But no sooner was the cruiser out of sight than a dark red unicorn mare with a long dark green mane and tail wearing a dark blue shirt and pants that covered most of her body, save for her head and tail, melted out of the shadows of an alleyway. She walked up to the front of the bank, smirking confidently at the building that stood in defiance of her.

“Walls enforced with anti-teleportation and strengthening runes,” the mare began to recite, walking around the building with all of the casualness of a pony taking an afternoon stroll. “Surveillance crystals covering almost every inch of the interior. Locks covered in triple anti-picking charms. Double-laminated magically-reinforced glass in the windows, which can only be opened from the inside. Air vents specifically designed to be too small for a pony to move through and covered in pressure-sensitive spells.” She walked up to the wall and rapped her hoof against the stone, letting out a breath. “This is not gonna be easy.”

She walked over to one of the windows. It, like all of the other black windows that stood in a row, was set too high off the ground for her to reach it. She paused and looked up at the window, waiting in silence.

A moment later, the window opened with a squeak, the lower pane pushing outwards. However, it only opened a couple of inches before stopping with a soft clicking.

The unicorn mare sighed. “I told you, you need to get the locks out first!” she hissed.

The window closed again. There was a series of clicking noises, then the window opened again, wider this time. A head wearing a mask poked out and a pair of silvery gray eyes looked down at the mare.

“Sorry, boss,” the masked stallion whispered. He disappeared back inside the window and tossed out a rope ladder that unrolled to the ground.

Sighing, the unicorn lit up her horn with a pale orange glow. With a soft popping sound, a long cylindrical tube appeared next to her. The mare climbed up the rope ladder and through the ladder, holding the tube next to her as she climbed through the window, entering an office with several desks, all of which were littered with papers. Once she disappeared inside, she and her companion rolled up the ladder, tucking it out of sight behind a desk, and shut the window.

“Night guard just walked past,” the earth pony stallion whispered, glancing down at a cheap watch with a brown wristband on his right foreleg. “We have seven minutes maximum.”

“Go,” the mare whispered, gripping the cylindrical tube in her magic. Both masked ponies stalked over to the door and the stallion carefully pushed the door open with a soft squeak. They darted out into the dark hallway, pressing their back up against the wall. They slid along the wall down the hallway.

“Crystal here,” the stallion whispered, pausing at a corner. “Do you have it?”

“Here,” the mare said, taking an object out of her pocket and handing it to her partner. The tool looked like a small hoof mirror with blue and red gems embossed around the golden frame. The stallion looked into the mirror, but his reflection did not reveal itself. Nodding, he carefully peeked around the corner, then darted out, holding up the mirror.

Secured onto the wall above the hallway was a pair of security crystals, each facing opposite directions to keep the entire hallway covered. The blue crystal stared down at the intruders through the glass dome that protected it. The earth pony advanced slowly, careful to keep the mirror aimed at the crystal.

Up above them, behind a locked door on the third floor, a security guard stood and watched the feeds from the security crystals throughout the bank. The young earth pony colt brushed his dirty blonde mane out of his eyes and checked the feed from the north hallway on the first floor. As he’d expected, the hallway appeared empty. Yawning, he leaned back in his chair and returned to the penny dreadful he was currently engrossed in.

He couldn’t have known, of course, that the intruders beneath him were using an enchanted mirror that was overwriting the magical signal between the imaging and the receiving crystals. The two thieves walked under the crystals into a blind spot, then the earth pony walked out from under and began to walk backward, aiming the mirror at the second crystal. The unicorn mare walked ahead to the end of the hallway, where another door waited. This door was made of thick metal and had a one-way mirror set into it that allowed a pony standing outside to see in. Setting the cylindrical tube down against the wall, she took a small blue gem out of her pocket and placed it against the lock. Then she extracted a lockpick and tension wrench and inserted them in the lock, setting them to work.

“Four minutes,” the earth pony reported, keeping the mirror fixed on the crystal.

No sooner had he declared the warning than the lock opened with a soft clicking. Pausing, the mare pulled another mirror with gems on it out of her pocket. She opened the door a crack, just enough to peek through and then thrust the mirror into the room. “Move,” the mare ordered, pushing the door open and taking the tube with her. The earth pony backed into the room, keeping the mirror fixed on the crystal right up until he closed the door and locked it.

They were inside a large room with no windows. Set into the wall beyond them was a massive square vault door, as wide as five ponies and almost as tall as two. A single surveillance crystal was planted on the corner of the wall, facing the door. The mare was currently aiming the mirror at the crystal. Her horn glowed as she lifted something from out of her back pocket; a photograph covered in a protective layer of plastic. Specifically, a photograph of the vault room from the perspective of the crystal. The mare unwrapped the plastic from around the photograph and carefully placed it over the crystal so that it blocked its view; the sticking spell affixed to the picture ensured that it stayed in place.

At the same time, the stallion unscrewed the top of the cylindrical tube and extracted a large photograph of the room itself, from the perspective of the door. He placed this on the interior of the door, over the viewport, and it too stuck to the metal surface.

“Set,” he reported in a quiet tone.

“Set,” the mare repeated. “Let’s get to work.”

They both crossed over to the vault door, which was equipped with a large wheel-shaped handle. On either side of the handle was a combination dial, with a keyhole beneath.

“You sure you can handle this?” the mare asked, turning to her partner.

The earth pony’s eyes twinkled as he reached into his pocket and extracted a small diamond-tipped hoof drill. “Relax, boss,” he whispered, setting the tip of the drill against the vault door, above one of the combination dials. “The safe that I can’t crack hasn’t been built yet.”

He began to carefully work the tool, drilling the half-inch-wide tip into the dial and boring a thin hole angled down into the dial’s inner workings. Setting the tool aside, he took out what looked like a thin black cable with an eyepiece on one end. He slid the opposite end into the hole and peered through the eyepiece. His brow furrowed in concentration.

Suddenly, there came the sound of hoofsteps from outside. Both ponies froze instantly, their heads turning towards the door as the hoofsteps of the night guard grew louder. Dropping the borescope, the stallion started to reach into an inner pocket of his suit, half-drawing a leather sap. The lead shot inside the weapon rattled faintly as he prepared to attack.

The steps paused outside the door for a moment, then started again, quickly fading away into the distance. Both ponies sighed in relief and the stallion replaced the weapon; as they’d hoped, the high school graduate rent-a-cop was too bored and tired to look too closely through the viewport.

The stallion turned and got back to work with the borescope, carefully studying the inner workings of the lock. His tongue between his teeth, he extracted a stethoscope from his shirt, plugging the ear-tips into his ears and pressing the diaphragm against the dial. He slowly turned the dial clockwise, then counterclockwise, watching carefully as the wheels spun, listening to the clicks of the wheel flies as they knocked against each other. He and his partner did their best to breathe as little as possible.

After several minutes of near-silent work, he whispered, “Fifteen, thirty-nine, forty-two, seven.”

“Fifteen, thirty-nine, forty-two, seven,” the mare repeated.

Taking up his tools, the stallion walked over to the second combination dial and repeated the process, drilling a new hole into the lock into which he inserted his borescope and carefully watching and listening as he worked his magic. The night guard walked past again on his patrols, but neither of the safecrackers looked up at the sound of his hoofsteps and once again, he didn’t bother to go inside the vault room to check.

“Forty-nine, twenty-one, twenty-six, two,” the stallion finally reported, dropping his tools. “Keys.”

The mare extracted two keys from another pocket. She tossed one to her partner and they both took their places in front of the dial. As one, they both input their combinations, the dials clicking faintly as they spun. Once they were ready, each of them inserted their key into the lock.

“Three, two, one, turn,” the mare ordered. With a click, two keys turned within their locks. The keys faintly glowed red for a moment, then faded. A series of rattling clicks resounded from within the vault door. The stallion grabbed the wheel and spun it hard, then tugged. The vault door groaned faintly as he pulled it open just enough for his partner to slip inside.

The mare lit up her horn as she entered. The orange light fell upon the vault’s contents: stacks of golden bits, carefully organized jewels that covered every color of the rainbow, folders of bonds, and more covered every inch of the floor and tables. The walls were lined with the doors to safe-deposit boxes, each of which was numbered.

The mare tugged a small cloth bag and unfolded it, holding it open as the stallion entered the vault. Both of them began to grab as many valuables as they could reach, shoveling them into the bag. The enchanted bag did not bulge beneath the weight of its cargo: the expanding charms that made it larger on the inside ensured that it could carry its load.

While the stallion stuffed jewels into their sack, the mare ran her gaze along the safe deposit boxes, halting at number 387. Pulling out the key that she used to open the vault, she inserted it into the box’s keyhole and turned. Once again, the key glowed red and the door unlocked. Inside the box was a single sheet of paper. The mare snatched this up and tucked it into her pocket.

“Let’s go!” she hissed to her partner, who grabbed some last few gems and heaved the now-slightly bulging bag over his shoulder with a grunt.

“Guard walked past eighteen minutes ago. We have about nine minutes,” the stallion reported as they exited the vault and retrieved the enchanted jamming mirrors. He opened the door a crack and aimed it at the surveillance crystal in the hallway, jamming the signal. They proceeded carefully up the hallway, aiming their mirrors at the crystals until they disappeared around the corner. They ran on silent hooves back to the office that they entered in, quickly closing the door behind them.

Dashing to the window, the mare opened it up and tossed the rope ladder out. The stallion dropped the sack out the window, then swung himself out and climbed down in a hurry. The mare waited until he reached the ground, then swung herself out and climbed down. Once she reached the ground, she used her magic to pull out the ladder and shut the window.

With a flash of orange magic, both of them teleported away, reappearing several blocks away.

The stallion tugged his mask off, shaking out a tangled purple mane that spilled over his pale golden face. “We did it, boss!” he grinned broadly, holding up the bag of loot.

“We did, Step,” the mare replied, pulling off her mask. Her long mane tumbled down past her shoulders and her smiling green eyes sparkled in the starlight. She pulled out the paper that she’d taken out of the safe deposit box and examined it. The sheet was covered in thin lines of cuneiform writing, looking like childish scribbles.

“This is gonna make Scarlet and Janus really happy,” she declared.

“It’s gonna make all of us very happy. And so is this!” Step declared, holding up their bag of loot. He tossed it over his shoulders and raised his hoof towards the mare.

She smiled and bumped his hoof with her right hoof. A hoof that had a brand marked into it: a series of thin red lines that formed a shape like a ring of keys.

Author's Note:

Oh, what an original twist! You know, of course, that nothing good could come from this.

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