• Member Since 7th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Ponibius


T
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Twilight Sparkle has seen her life overturned over recent months. Magic has been spreading through Canterlot High ever since Princess Twilight first came through the portal from Equestria. Sunset's transformation into a demon, the Sirens, Twilight's own experiences, and then the battle against Gaia Everfree.

Perhaps it shouldn't be a surprise when Twilight comes under magical attack again. However, this time it seems far less like a world-conquering menace, and more like petty revenge. The question is, who could be attacking them magically, why are they doing it, and how did they get their powers?

An Oncoming Storm story.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 15 )

Hmm. Obvious illusionist is obvious. Perhaps too obvious. Trixie could just be a blue herring, or that may be what you want me to think as part of an elaborate double bluff. Or—

Yeah, I'm going to cut myself off there. It'll be quite interesting to see how the group deals with this. Though I'd say odds are someone's going to have their mental privacy violated by the time everything's dealt with.

Me: It is obviously Principal Cinch! :pinkiehappy:

Twilight Sparkle: "You haven't Even READ it yet" :facehoof:

Me: "I know but that doesn't mean I cannot guess" :rainbowlaugh:

This is really good so far I can't wait to read more

Yeah, Trixie is just to obvious at the moment, it might be she's working with someone else though.

Alternatively, maybe Sunset's power is malfunctioning in some way maybe because she's not using. Her description of Equestrian Mind reading suggests it could turn up the same results as we've seen.

8132808 ...aaare you making a colour joke or is 'blue herring' a thing now?

8135092 Good, then I haven't missed anything too important. :twilightblush:

Trixie didn't do anything wrong!

Dropping the competition down a trapdoor apparently doesn't count as "wrong."

Hmm. This definitely doesn't seem like the best to handle the Trixie situation, thiugh I'm not sure if anything more positive-sum would've worked, given her egocentric irrationality. Still, I wouldn't be surprised if this just worsened her resentment. After all, she may not be able to take the others in a fair fight, but for a smart illusionist, no fight need be fair.

Of course, there are likely far greater dangers on the horizon. Just what they'll be remains to be seen.

Oh, will I get the first comment here? :pinkiehappy: Let's see!

I got a bit of a late start to actually comment on chapter 1, but did anyone else catch that there was no denial of being with Trixie from Fluttershy? I know it wouldn't normally be in character for her, and even I personally don't think she'd do it with her, but given her younger history with Cloud in Equestria I would feel better with an active denial.

As for the name, Stormbreakers seems a bit pretentious to me. Why don't they just borrow from Equestria and call themselves the Magi or Magus Corps? Not to be nitpicky or anything, just my thoughts.

Should be interesting to see who else might be popping up with powers next. Maybe the Sirens make a resurgence? Should be interesting times all around.

Oh, shoot. Someone beat me to it. :pinkiesick:

Well isn't that all fun... I blame Wanderer D's Gunsmoke, but I was expecting a more drawn out conflict with Human Sombra... Ah well, still good, and sets up for a lot more of this in the future.

I tried, but I just can't finish this story. Apart from the issue that your version of how the girls' magic works has already been Jossed, which is not your fault, but nevertheless a factor, the girls feel extremely out of character.

They've completely jumped on Trixie as the culprit with the flimsiest of evidence and seem quite hostile about it. The only time Trixie was hostile in canon was during RR when under the Sirens' spell as lampshaded, but otherwise she has been shown to be benign at worst and pleasantly chatting in the background at best. At the very least, the girls would put some more time into collecting evidence before becoming as hostile as they are presented in this story.

Whoever the real villain turns out to be, I can't be bothered to find out.

Fun story, but man do you need an editor. There were typos everywhere, plus this little bit:

Trixie must just have been play with me sense of touch.

Sounds like Twilight turned Irish all of a sudden! :rainbowlaugh:

Despite this story playing out kind of predictably, it was still a fun ride and I can't wait to see what this is all building up to.

Y'all needs a proofreader.

So, are we sure that the thing with Angel was an illusion, because it seems pretty in character to me...

I had been kind of wondering about that title. Oncoming Storm sounds pretty ominous for a series that's so far been lighter than the main universe, but now it makes sense. Now I wonder what all this is building towards. Maybe something to do with how Trixie got her powers? In canon it just seems like the stray magic from the portals imbues random objects with powers and sometimes makes demons of its users, but Trixie's abilities don't seem to be tied to any kind of totem like more recent EG villains. I wonder if there's something different about her?

Good stuff, in any case.

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