A Day That'll Live in Literacy
Bibliopocalypse: War of the Two Suns
“Bored. Bored. Bored. BORED!” Sunset Shimmer shouted, pacing back and forth in a study room furnished with ornate wooden furniture, a large wooden desk, and shelf upon shelf of heavy bound books. Little filly Sunset Shimmer, Celestia’s own little shimmering sunshine, tyke terror tyrant of Canterlot Castle was—
“BORED!”
—bored.
Sunset grit her teeth slightly as she scanned her turquoise eyes over the bookshelves. She began to point at each book individually. “Boring, snooze-fest, dull, dreary…” Sunset threw her forehooves in the air. “You’re ALL boring!” Sunset scowled at one of the shelves and leveled an accusatory forehoof at one tomb. “Especially you, Equestria Tax Law! You’re the evil queen of Boredom Town!” Sunset scowled at nothing in particular and blew out a gust of air, disturbing the curl that hung down between her eyes and causing her lips to flap up and down a bit. She glanced towards an ornate love seat with a wooden frame and comfortable-looking red padding before she flung herself on it. She let her limbs splay out as she laid belly and spirits down. “When’s mommy going to finish with her dumb court meeting stuff…? Stupid nobles… Mommy shouldn’t have to listen to them. She shouldn’t have to listen to anypony!”
Sunset began to mentally weigh her other options as she stared up and into space. “Well, I can’t go interrupt mommy’s boring meetings… I got a talking to the last time I did that…” Sunset groaned and flipped onto her back. “Now Sunset,” she began in her best Celestia impression, “you can’t just barge in and interrupt important discussions by calling the nobles smelly horse apples and threatening to set them on fire. As fun as it is to watch, it upsets mostly everypony…” Sunset scrunched up her muzzle. “Stupid, dumb, impudent noble ponies… Mommy should be spending time with me instead of listening to their boring problems…” Sunset glanced at the door. “I guess I could always go out and try making friends… ugh… but the other ponies are so dim-witted and mostly the children of the stupid, dumb, impudent nobles…” Sunset tapped at her chin thoughtfully. “I guess I can bug Kibitz…” Sunset smiled somewhat precociously and a lot malevolently. “That’s usually fun for a bit.” She frowned to herself. “But mommy also said I shouldn’t do that too often, either…” Sunset glared upwards. “Mommy does stuff to annoy him all the time, though. Oh, just wait until I become a princess like mommy!” Sunset’s somewhat demonic smile returned. “Hehehe… I’ll get to annoy Kibitz every day and no one can tell me to stop!”
Sunset’s talkative thought process was suddenly interrupted by a knocking at the door followed by a middle-aged stallion calling out. “Sunset Shimmer? Did you have need of me? I heard my name.”
“Eep!” Sunset exclaimed as she spun around and off the loveseat, landed on all fours, and hid under it. “No! I’m fine! Go away!”
“Young lady,” Kibitz began, “Princess Celestia gave me explicit instructions to make sure your needs were met while she deals with courtly affairs.” Sunset heard mumbling and perked up her ears. She was certain she heard something to the extent of, “As punishment for what, I can only imagine.” Sunset made a mental note to look up a spell that would help her listen in on ponies for when they say mean things about her and her mommy.
“I said, ‘I’m fine!’ Go away, please!” Sunset squeaked out in an irritated tone.
“Ms. Shimmer—”
Sunset’s muzzle wrinkled and her brow creased. Kibitz only called her ‘Ms. Shimmer’ when he was about to be obnoxious... which was most the time.
“—Princess Celestia has told me that I am to explicitly call out when you are being rude to me.”
“What?! That’s dumb! You’re dumb!”—
“Take this exact moment, for example.”
— “I wasn’t being rude, I even said ‘please’!”
“Only the second time, Ms. Shimmer,” Kibitz said as he and Sunset continued to have what amounted to a typical conversation between them from behind a big wooden door. “And the second time you still had a tone!”
“You have a tone!” Sunset shouted back.
“Ms. Shimmer, I am speaking very evenly! Now, it’s important you learn to control your temper, young lady. Learning to be polite even in the face of unparalleled rudeness is an important skill!” Sunset’s eyes narrowed as Kibitz began to mumble again… something about “having to use the skill with surprising frequency as of late.” Kibitz cleared his throat and continued. “You really must learn these things if you expect to be a princess yourself, someday.” More mumbling… Something to the extent of, “Celestia help us all when that happens.”
“What am I helping everypony with?” Celestia’s voice chimed in from behind the door.
At once there was a small thump like a pony jumping slightly in place from behind the door as Sunset Shimmer dashed out from under the loveseat, her horn glowing turquoise as a similar glow engulfed the door’s golden knob. The door swung open revealing, first, Kibitz, a very light tan-coated unicorn with small spectacles that hugged his muzzle, a long brown mustache and short brown mane tied in a ponytail, and a red coat with a gold chain connected to his collar that disappeared into a gold-trimmed pocket, then Celestia, whose knowing look directed at Kibitz changed to pure joy as Sunset came at her like a bullet. A very orange bullet that yelled “Mommy!” with a near-unparalleled level of enthusiasm.
Celestia took Sunset up in a canary glow of her horn, which both redirected and slightly dampened the force at which Sunset came at her. While allowing Sunset to barrel into her full force was its own sort of fun, explaining where the bruises on her and her daughter came from had grown tedious. Instead, Celestia brought Sunset up towards her face where the young filly wrapped her forelegs around Celestia’s neck and began enthusiastically nuzzling the monarch.
Celestia returned the nuzzle and momentarily wrapped a foreleg and her wings around Sunset before gently returning Sunset Shimmer to the ground. “I take it you missed me, my little shimmering sunshine?”
“Mommy! It’s so boring without you!” Sunset wined.
Celestia smiled down at her adopted daughter. “Well, you know you have plenty of options to fill your time when I’m indisposed.”
“I knoooooow…” Sunset whined. “But none of them are as good as hanging out with you, mommy!”
Celestia paused and simply stared down at Sunset. She had spent centuries on this planet and verbally jousting with some of the cleverest minds in Equestria, but she didn’t have a response for that.
Kibitz cleared his throat.
Celestia turned and smiled at Kibitz. “Apologies for not greeting you sooner, Kibitz. How have things been with Sunset this morning?”
Sunset’s face tightened and she pursed her lips slightly.
“Same as usual, m’um.”
Sunset shot a glare up at Kibitz.
“I see…” Celestia cooed as she looked down at Sunset. Her joyful look faltering slightly. “Perhaps it is a bit much to expect, but I still hope that you two could bond somewhat…”
Kibitz stood and said nothing, his lips twitching slightly.
Sunset immediately put on an innocent, apologetic look. “I’m sorry, mommy, but I’ve just been so bored all morning! I know that’s no excuse though, and I should know better than to take it out on Kibitz.”
“You shouldn’t be apologizing to me, little one,” Celestia said. She nodded towards Kibitz. “You should be apologizing to Kibitz.”
Without a hint of hesitation or the slightest crack in her expression, Sunset turned towards Kibitz. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“There,” Celestia said looking back towards Kibitz. “I believe that settles things?”
Kibitz took the slightest of dissatisfied breaths. “Yes, m’um,” he answered simply. “Shall I have lunch prepared for you two?”
Celestia smiled. “That would be delightful.” She looked down at Sunset. “Sunset? What would you li—”
Sunset rattled off a reply at double speed, “Deconstructed-eggplant-parmesan-with-a-side-of-candied-sweet-potato-shoestring-fries-and-a-multi-berry-honey-yogurt-smoothies-with-granola-and-extra-oats-sprinkled-on-top-and-a-triple-chocolate-six-layered-cake-for-dessert, please!” Sunset smiled widely and innocently up at Kibitz.
Kibitz’s left eyebrow twitched, if ever so slightly.
Celestia simply let out a laugh. “My little filly is ambitious today!” She looked at Kibitz. “I suppose you best tell the royal chief right away! Sounds like he has his work cut out for himself.”
Kibitz let out a tiny sigh. “I’ll inform him of the order immediately, m’um. Now if neither of you needs anything…”
Sunset smiled up at Kibitz innocently.
“I’m sure that will do, Kibitz,” Celestia said.
Kibitz nodded, turned, and began trotting away.
Celestia looked down at Sunset. “Now dear, let’s see what we can do about your boredom problem…”
“Well, now that you’re here, it’s pretty much solved!” Sunset said with a large grin.
Celestia smiled and chuckled. “For now, yes.” Celestia walked back into her study, Sunset right at her heels. “But maybe there’s something in here that can occupy your time for a while during those periods we simply can’t be together.”
Sunset let out a sad sigh. “Alright…”
“Perhaps something to read?” Celestia began scanning her respectable collection of heavy boynd books. “How about Gutsy the Great? That should be perfect for a child your age.”
“But I already read that one, twice!” moaned Sunset.
Celestia pursed her lips slightly and scanned her shelves again. “Alien Alicorns vs. Space Pirates?”
“Read it,” Sunset answered.
“Burnferno, Warrior from Within?”
“Three times, already!” Sunset answered. She tittered to herself. “Burnferno has some great lines when he’s incinerating his enemies.”
Celestia chuckled. “That he does…” Celestia clicked her tongue and went back to scanning the shelves. “How aboooooout…”
“Mommy! I read all your books already!” Sunset whined.
Celestia paused as she looked over her very large collection of books, most far more dense and advanced for what she would have expected a filly of Sunset’s age to handle. She looked down towards Sunset with a rather surprised expression. “You’ve read… all my books…?”
Sunset nodded her head up and down enthusiastically. “Yep! I figure if I want to grow up to be just like you, mommy, I better study.”
Celestia felt her eyes go slightly watery as her heart momentarily took a break from pumping blood. Well… It’s a good thing I’m semi-immortal, because that statement might have very well killed me otherwise. Celestia opened a mental filing cabinet in her head and searched. Finding a rather large section titled ‘The best Sunset Shimmer moments’, she filed Sunset’s last line away. “Well then, it seems you and I need to take a little walk to the library. Not exactly the most active activity I could hope for if large slabs of cake are on the menu for lunch, but my little shimmering sunshine is in desperate need.”
Sunset hummed to herself and tapped at her chin thoughtfully. “Welll…Okay! As long as I’m spending time with you, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Celestia laughed quietly to herself through her teeth with a big smile on her face. “Very well, Sunset. Let’s be off.”
-ooo-
Sunset’s tiny hooves clicked against the polished stone floor of the open, two-story library with its high domed ceiling, Celestia walked in front of Sunset, her much heavier hooves announcing her presence to a somewhat uncomfortable degree. The eyes of those ponies who looked up from what they were reading or working on lingered on the pair for a bit before almost reluctantly returning to whatever their attention was focused on in the first place.
Celestia ignored this, though Sunset smiled at the attention and temporarily reveled in it.
The mother-daughter pair walked between two massive purple-light blue columns which went all the way up to the library’s ceiling two stories above the floor where sunlight shone through a massive dome made from hundreds of glass facets. The pair made their way past a desk were two small stacks of books were set. “Now then…” Celestia murmured to herself as she looked about. “Perhaps we should start with some fiction and check out a few sections of nonfiction that are of interest to you.”
“P-Princess Celestia?” A mare called out in a timid tone. “Can I help you find something?”
Celestia turned around. An off-purple unicorn mare with her white mane in a bun peered inquisitively and nervously at Celestia.
“No, thank you, my little pony,” Celestia answered politely. “I’m quite familiar with the libraries’ layout.”
“Yeah!” Sunset snapped. “Mommy and I can find everything just fine on her own!”
“S-sorry!” the librarian replied as she clearly considered her options for hiding behind her stacks of books or the desk itself, she began to slowly settle on both as her head lowered and drifted to the right.
“Sunset!” Celestia snapped in a miffed tone. “That was quite unnecessary. Now apologize.”
Sunset momentarily recoiled and shifted her body as if she might need to protect her face, this was followed by her flashing Celestia a look of almost pure dread and panic. “I’m sorry!” she cried.
Celestia regarded Sunset with surprise, “Sunset, it’s oka—”
Sunset immediately turned towards the librarian. “I’m sorry!”
The librarian blinked a few times and slowly leaned back out from behind her barriers. “Uh… It’s alright.”
With a startled squeak, Sunset was suddenly taken up into a canary glow where her world become one of alabaster feathers and a warm, comforting foreleg. Holding Sunset against her rather long neck, Celestia rested her nuzzle atop Sunset’s head and whispered. “Shhh, shhh, shhh… It’s alright, my little shimmering sunshine, mommy has you.” Celestia could feel her foal’s heart flutter in her chest, a fluttering that was slowly returning to a normal speed. After a short period of time, Sunset’s body began to relax.
Celestia mentally filed what happened under ‘things to discuss with her daughter later’, a section that realistically had too many lingering items as it was, but she was determined to have fun with her daughter today! She looked out at the library, noticing far too many pairs of eyes on her and her daughter. A light dusting of a stern ‘kindly mind your own business’ look quickly sent eyeballs back towards their own books and work.
Celestia slowly set Sunset down on the floor facing her. “Well, Sunset? Shall we continue?” she asked with a smile.
“Um-hmm!” Sunset replied with a happy nod.
The pair made their way through the library, past more sets of eyes that couldn’t help but look up at the heavy steps of Celestia. Stares lingered as the princess, her shimmering hair, and daughter all passed. Years of hiding her annoyance served Celestia well, though even she felt her stone fortress of patience was starting to wear a bit. Meanwhile, Sunset walked proudly with large steps and a smile so large it was like the sun shined for her and her alone.
Soon mother and daughter found themselves standing at the ends of several aisles of books.
“Well, Sunset?” Celestia said as she began to absentmindedly scan book titles. “Would you like to pick out a few things?”
“… Maybe you should pick for me, mommy.”
Celestia smiled down at Sunset. “Now Sunset, you needn't just read books I like or recommend.”
“… That’s not it.”
Celestia frowned. “Oh. So, what’s the problem, my dear?”
Sunset craned her neck up. “I can’t see what’s on the top shelves.”
Celestia’s eyes widened and she looked over towards the books, her natural height putting her face basically on the same plane as the highest shelf. “Oh, hehe… Well then…”
Sunset let out a tiny squeak as she once again taken up in Celestia’s magic, Celestia raising her daughter up to her face level. Sunset giggled. “Okay, but now I can’t see what’s on the bottom shelves.”
“Well, neither can I,” Celestia said with a grin.
“Maybe you can check the top two shelves and I can take that bottom two?” Sunset suggested.
“That sounds like an excellent suggestion, my little shimmering sunshine,” Celestia answered as she lowered Sunset back to the ground.
The pair began scanning shelves and shelves full of colorfully covered books, Sunset starting a modest pile herself, and Celestia grabbing the odd book and lowering it with phrases like “Oh, how about this one?” or “This one looks appealing.” Sunset would take the briefest of glances at each book offered to her before adding it to her own pile sans questions.
Celestia tittered to herself as she pulled a rather large, and worn book off the shelf. “Here’s a good one. Ancient Wonders’ Collection of Alicorn Fables. I remember reading this when I was about your size,” She said as she lowered the book down to Sunset.
“My size?!” Sunset exclaimed in astonishment. “Wow, this book must be like a million years old!”
Celestia practically felt something snap from behind her eyes. Of course, she knew that Sunset didn’t mean any ill-will. Sure, Sunset wasn’t always nice to other ponies, but the idea that she would say or do anything to hurt Celestia was practically unfathomable. Still, she couldn’t let that little comment slide without some form of retribution. While Sunset added the large tomb to her pile, Celestia scanned her surroundings, her lavender eyes stopping on a nearby rack of scrolls. With a canary yellow aura, Celestia lifted a random scroll and floated it over towards Sunset while the little filly was busy scanning another row of books. Celestia playfully whacked Sunset on the side of her flank. “I am not that old!” Celestia said with a wry grin.
The look of terrified betrayal that followed on her daughter’s face was not something she would have wished on her worst enemy. It immediately found its way into a mental file of the things she regretted most in her long life.
“Sunset? Sweetie? I didn’t mean to—”
Sunset’s massive turquoise eyes began to fill with tears.
“Sunset, I’m truly and deeply sorry for—”
Sunset’s lower lip began to quiver as her chest began to heave.
Oh, how the press would have a field day with this moment. ‘Princess Celestia beats her own daughter in public!’ Somehow Celestia doubted the statement of, ‘But she was already a scared and abused filly when I got her!’ would garner her much sympathy from her populace.
Small, pathetic sobs began to escape from Sunset’s lips.
Right, what the newspapers say hardly matters. You’ve got a scared filly on your hooves that YOU’RE responsible for. “Sunset, I want you to hit me.”
A cry that would have undoubtedly turned into an ear-piercing wail caught in Sunset’s throat. “Wha-what?” Sunset replied, her frightened state quickly giving way to bewilderment.
Celestia floated the scroll in front of Sunset and placed it at her hooves. “Hit me!” Celestia said as she lowered her head to the ground.
“Mom-mommy? I can’t—”
Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “Hit me back!” she practically commanded.
Sunset leaned back, her confused and terror-stricken eyes widening. With a series of confused whimpers, she took the scroll in a turquoise glow and gently batted it against Celestia’s face.
Celestia’s face tightened. “Harder!” she ordered.
Sunset let out a scared squeak as the scroll pulled back and was lightly smacked against Celestia’s face.
“Harder!”
Again, the scroll was pulled back and again it hit its mark, making a soft ‘thump’ as it impacted against Celestia’s cheek.
“HARDER!”
‘Thwack!’
Celestia’s crown made a light ‘tink, tink, tink’ as it bounced away and rolled across the smooth, stone floor of the library. For a moment, she wondered why it suddenly had become a star filled night and then she remembered that that was impossible given she was the one in charge of such things. She shook her head from side to side then exhaled. “Alright Sunset, that’s—”
‘Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!’
“Ow! Ow! Ow! SUNSET! That’s quite enou—”
‘THUNK!
Celestia’s vision blurred and everything began to tilt sideways, with what seemed like quite the effort, Celestia widened her stance and managed to stay standing. With a reaction that was almost all self-preserving instinct, Celestia took back the scroll in her own magic and retaliated.
‘THUNK!
Celestia could already see the morning’s headline, ‘Princess Celestia: Filly Thrasher’. “Sunset?!” Celestia cried as her vision began to clear. “My little shimmering sunshine?! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… mean to…”
Much to Celestia’s great surprise and eternal relief, not only had Sunset stopped crying, she was smiling despite the cross-eyed look on her face. Shaking her head and grinning, the little orange filly half galloped, half stumbled over to the rack of scrolls and took one in a turquoise glow. “En garde!” she declared as she turned, pointing the scroll at Celestia much as if she was pointing a sword.
Celestia momentarily considered the situation she was in. As fun as ‘scroll’ fighting with her daughter might be it was a horrible abuse of library resources, not to mention her position as-crud, crud, crud, CRUD! Celestia barely had time to put her scroll in the path of Sunset’s before she took another blow to the head.
“HaHA!” Sunset exclaimed as she pressed her attack.
Celestia blocked the next few blows then used her magic to push her scroll against Sunset’s as the two combatants closed the gap between them. They now had the attention of almost everypony in the library, but neither took notice. Instead the scrolls continued to clash as the princess and her daughter came within striking range of one another, both grinning determinedly at the other as scrolls crossed time and time again with an alarming force.
“Princess Celestia! I implore you, please stop!”
Princess Celestia turned as the light purple librarian came rushing towards her. She had the sense to put up a barrier in between her and Sunset’s attack as Sunset’s scroll fell like a hammer upon her canary yellow orb. “Yes, my little pony?” Celestia said, signaling Sunset with a wing to stop.
Sunset let out a small “Aww…” of disappointment.
The librarian swallowed and pointed at the scrolls. “Those… those scrolls… They’re…erm… quite old…”
Celestia looked at the scroll she had been using at as a weapon and then took a glance at Sunset’s. Both were quite wrinkled, torn in places, and frayed at the edges. The metal cylinders on which the scroll was rolled up with were now dented and bent. Celestia turned towards Sunset. “Sunset, your scroll, please.”
Sunset frowned and obediently floated her scroll over towards Celestia who, in turn, floated both the damaged items to the librarian. “Please send these to the castle for repairs to be billed from the royal treasury,” Celestia said.
The librarian let out a sigh of relief. “Of course, your highness.”
Celestia scanned the library, ignoring all the ponies that were gawking at her and her daughter’s antics. Her lavender eyes settle on something. “The periodicals, do you have replacements?”
“Well, we could certainly order more papers if something were to—”
“Good!” Celestia replied, an ice-pick smile forming on her face as she trotted over towards a wooden stand of newspapers. With another glow of her horn, two papers were lifted and rolled into separate solid masses. Celestia used her magic to lob one of the rolled-up papers towards Sunset.
With a near demonic smile, Sunset took the paper in her magic before it touched the ground and held it above her and to her side, the paper aligned vertically as if Sunset was holding a baseball bat.
Celestia pulled her own paper closer and held it diagonally in front of her face as if she was wielding a switchblade. She offered the librarian the slightest of nods, her smile not breaking for an instant. “I suggest you seek cover, my little pony.”
The librarian let out a panicked yelp and made a mad dash for the safety of her desk. Diving behind it, a green glow suddenly engulfed the piles of books, separating the piles as the librarian stacked the books upright with covers facing outwards as an impromptu wall.
A few of the other ponies nearby got up from their spots and slowly retreated to other chairs and tables farther away, though none left the confines of the library or took their attention off the pair.
Celestia lowered her head slightly and dragged a forehoof over the stone floor.
Sunset mirrored her mother’s actions and bent her knees as she prepared to rush forward. The two let out fearsome howls, or rather Celestia let out a howl, Sunset’s ‘howl’ coming out as a high-pitched shriek. The massive alabaster alicorn rushed forward as an orange blur of a filly began scampering towards her target, their galloping filling the library with the echoing sound of hooves beating fast against the stone floor.
Celestia’s paper was swift, but Sunset was quicker and the orange filly dodged and let out a feral scream as her newspaper rapidly closed in on Celestia’s head.
‘THWACK!’
Celestia’s vision and sense of equilibrium took a short break as she quickly widened her stance and put up a barrier to protect her from any follow-up blows. It’s probably a good thing Sunset already has her cutie mark. Celestia reasoned. Otherwise, she’d probably get it in hitting others in the head with newspapers.
“Mommy?” Sunset said.
Celestia looked up and gave sunset a proud, wild smile. “Nice swing,” Celestia said.
“Thanks, momm—”
“But don’t stop!” Celestia exclaimed as she thrust her paper towards Sunset.
Sunset let out a startled gasp and jumped slightly. The paper missed hitting her dead center but still caught her in the flank, pushing her off balance. Sunset landed askew on her forelegs and fell sideways, her head ‘smacking’ hard against the stone floor.
Celestia’s eyes widened and she ceased her attack at the sound of her daughter’s head hitting something as solid as the polished stone floor of the Canterlot Library.
“Sunset?!” Celestia called out in alarm.
Sunset was back up on her hooves in an instant. “REVENGE!” she hollered towards the sky.
Celestia barely had time to block the next attack that followed, Sunset’s paper hitting her own with such ferocity that Celestia lost her magical grasp on it. The newspaper sailed away from the pair, spiraling through the air before catching a hapless green earth pony mare in the face. With a surprised yelp, mare and chair went tumbling down.
Sunset swung at her mother’s head a few more times, but Celestia proved surprisingly nimble for a pony her size and magically retrieved and rolled a fresh newspaper from the stand. Celestia dodged the next few swipes, then and parried to the left. Sunset suddenly countered to the right, catching Celestia in the neck.
Celestia grit her teeth as the blow hit. She’d have a bruise there for certain and Sunset’s attacks were unrelenting. It was all Celestia could do at this point to block each blow with her paper that was already showing the wear of being used as a weapon and defensive item. Was she really being beaten back by a filly? Of course, it was her adopted daughter, but still... she couldn’t simply let her daughter walk all over her like this! She’d have to switch up her tactics if she didn’t want to be beaten up in print tomorrow and by print for a long time to come. Celestia narrowed her eyes as Sunset’s paper once again reared back for a heavy blow. Rather than dodge it, she braced herself and positioned her body to take the next swing on her shoulder.
‘THWACK!’
Sunset’s blow struck, Celestia flung her own paper at Sunset, the periodical swirling and twirling through the air on a collision course for the orange filly.
“Ah!” Sunset exclaimed as she jumped out of the paper’s way. The paper hit the ground and skipped back up into the air, sailing over a desk and into the face of a bespectacled light-orange unicorn mare with an orange-brown mane. Glasses went flying off light green eyes as the unicorn fell backward, her brown fetlocks hooves swinging into the air.
A glasses-wearing dark blue unicorn stallion with a long black mane and modest sized beard sitting next to the mare reacted with a gentlemanly “Hah!” as he pointed a foreleg downward.
Sunset refocused her attention towards Celestia. “Missed me!~” She sang out before eyes widened and ears wilted as she took in the sight in front of her.
Celestia had nabbed all available newspapers and was currently aiming them like a towering spear wall of projectiles all pointed in Sunset’s direction.
“Oh, horseapples…” Sunset uttered.
“Language, young lady!” Celestia replied as she launched a maelstrom of periodicals in the direction of her daughter.
As the papers closed in, Sunset quickly realized her single newspaper would do little to protect her from such a massive bombardment. She quickly scanned the library, her eyes lingering on the wall of books the librarian had made. Without a moment to spare, books were taken from their shelves in a turquoise glow and arrange much like a turtle shell around Sunset Shimmer as newspaper after newspaper rocketed into her book barrier and flew off in random directions into the library. The dark blue unicorn helpfully caught several newspapers with his face before his own glasses flew off from his muzzle and he came crashing down to the floor.
Dizzily picking herself off from the floor, the light orange unicorn surveyed the state of the dark blue unicorn and responded with a very ladylike “HaHAH!” as she pointed her forehoof downward.
Ponies yelped in alarm as ‘thumps’ and ‘thwacks’ raised up to join their terrified cries. Thankfully, the rolled newspaper rain’s reign was as short as it was brutal and soon an uneasy quiet settled over the library.
A few books parted from Sunset’s shell revealing a frazzled red-and-yellow mane, wild, determined turquoise eyes, and a full-on demonic smile. “My turn…” Sunset purred darkly. The books of her shell were shifted and aligned to form a large wall which Sunset floated upwards. Suddenly, the books were pivoted so that their spines faced Celestia. One final small rotation and suddenly the lower left-hand corner of each book was pointing at Celestia like dozens of arrows ready to be fired off and fired off they were.
It was at this point that Celestia realized that perhaps things had been taken just a bit too far. “Waaaaaait!” she hollered out.
Turquoise glows suddenly shifted from behind the rectangular projectiles to in front of them, and each book stopped in midair, inches away from pelting Equestria’s monarch.
Celestia breathed in and out heavily as she did her best to catch her breath.
“… Mommy?” Sunset said in a somewhat worried tone.
“Sunset, please put those books down,” Celestia said in a calm tone. “They should not be used in this manner.”
Among the errant moans of the libraries’ occupants, the librarian let out a, “Oh thank Celes…uh… somepony else…”
Sunset gave her mom an apologetic, somewhat fearful look and slowly lowered the books back towards the ground. “Oh… Alright, mommy…”
Celestia turned her head and looked further into the library. “The vast collection of the castle transcripts detailing my meetings with nobles is over there. Those books should be fine to use in such a manner.”
“Alright, mommy!” Sunset answered in a chipper tone.
“WhyHyHyHyHyHyHy!” The librarian shouted as Celestia and Sunset merrily trotted down to another section of the library.
-oo~Soon~oo-
Heavy leather bound books laid strewn across the library floor in almost every imaginable state, closed, open, face down, face up, leaning open on top of ponies who laid motionless on the stone floor save the rhythmic heaving of their stomachs. Those ponies wise enough to foresee the encroaching chaos had long ago fled the cursed lands of the library, seeking safety far away from its war-and-page-torn lands. Those foolish or unlucky ponies who did not flee either huddled behind barriers of overturned tables and stacked chairs, or laid like limp rag dolls with their limbs, and sometimes wings, sprawled out in all directions across the literature littered floor.
Though the casualties and survivors of this brutal battle remained mostly quiet and motionless, all was not peaceful, for the fight continued without an end in sight.
Behind two fortressed of pages bound in leather stood Celestia and Sunset, their heads bobbing up and down behind their walls arranged to face the other as they lobbed volumes of volume volleys at one another. Though books slammed into the walls, and sometimes collided mid-air, flying off into the library, these fortresses of knowledge stood tall and stalwart against the constant book barrage.
With the two enemies well-fortified and constantly exchanging reusable ammunition, it seemed the war might very well be endless, a brutal war in which knowledge was power, and that knowledge, when propelled at a sizeable velocity via magic, could impact with all that power.
These two codex combatants had long forgotten the origins of the fight or even its reason, such a thing mislaid to time which the pair had also lost track of. They showed neither joy nor regret towards those unfortunate ponies caught in the collateral damage of their combat. Their only thoughts were of each other and goal of somehow, someday, striking down their opponent.
Perhaps this Biblopocalypse could have lasted an eternity at the cautious rhythm these two folio fighters had fallen into, or perhaps such conjecture is meaningless as the very world itself would surely have been destroyed had that been the case.
As luck would have it, however, one book battler was not as patient as the other, and though brave, her actions would quickly be the undoing of one of the most terrible battles the Canterlot Library had ever seen.
“HAH!” Sunset Shimmer cried as her upper half emerged over her book wall, three heavy books held above her, ready to strike.
Celestia popped her head above her wall, a mere single book ready to be launched, but one hit was all a pony needed in this war.
Sunset took aim and launched her trilogy attack, each book following the other in a near perfect grouping. However, her folly was to remain visible longer than she should have. In the time it took Sunset to aim and attack, Celestia had already launched her single book, arcing it over the chasm between the two fortresses and the trio of books that rocketed towards her before ducking back behind cover. Celestia watched as all three books passed over head, each one coming within a few hair’s widths of her large horn and then she heard a satisfying ‘THWACK!’ of a book hitting its target and the soft sound of a filly falling to a leathery and paper covered floor.
Victory died almost immediately for Celestia for it was quickly followed by a feeling of heart stabbing, knife twisting dread. I’M THE WORST MOTHER IN EQUESTRIA EVER! Celestia thought to herself as the headline ‘Celestia commits fillicide’ ran through her head. Celestia’s head bolted up over her barrier. “Sunset?! Are you alright?! SUNSET!” Celestia clamped down on her teeth. “Oh, I’ll never forgive myself if you’re dea—”
They say you never hear the one that gets you, and in Celestia’s case this was quite true. However, she did catch a glimpse of her doom, a particularly thick tomb that covered everything she saw like a dark shadow before it caught her on the side of her face. Celestia could feel the hard press of her head against the flat book even as the leather cover gave way slightly. Celestia’s head jerked with the impact while her body momentarily remained in place. Only moving when Celestia’s legs gave out.
And Celestia, sole ruler of Equestria, fell.
A few more books were lobbed over one wall to land on the other side of the opposing structure. Heavy thumps that slowed until an uneasy quiet finally settled over the compendium carnage of the library.
“Mommy?” Sunset Shimmer’s voice called out. “Mommy? Why did you stop…?”
No answer.
Several books were taken in a turquoise glow from her fortress as Sunset slowly emerged from the safety of her structure, her face bruised, her body riddled with paper cuts. She floated the books close to her with their flat surfaces facing out like shields that may protect her from a sneak attack. “Mommy?” Slowly and cautiously, Sunset rounded the wall of her mother’s own fortress, her breath catching in her throat at the site she witnessed.
Celestia’s body laid amongst the books on the floor, the monarch’s eyes already closed shut.
Sunset let her own books fall to the ground as she rushed towards her mother. “Mommy? … Mommy, come on!” Sunset frantically nuzzled her mother’s bruised and battered cheek, causing Celestia’s head to heave slightly before moving back to its previous position. “You have to get up!” Sunset placed both her forehooves on her mother’s cheek and pushed to no apparent effect. “Mommy. We have to get home!” Sunset grabbed one of Celestia’s ear and her teeth and tugged, causing Celestia's head to move slightly before limply falling back into place. Sunset turned, terror having taken hold of her features and panic having taken hold of her heart. “HEEELLLLP! SOMEPONY!” she shouted, her voice reverberating hollowly in the emptiness of the library. Sunset turned back towards her mother’s unmoving body, tears beginning to fall freely from her eyes. “Anypony…” she murmured, “help…”
“Ms. Shimmer… What have you done?”
Sunset immediately jumped back and turned to face none-other than Kibitz his eyes darting from Celestia’s fallen frame to the tear-filled, slightly swollen eyes of the terrified filly standing next to it. He took a moment to glance at the two fortresses made from centuries of royal court transcripts. “On second thought, please refrain from telling me, I no longer wish to know.”
“MOMMY’S DEAD!” Sunset wailed.
Kibitz's expression took on an alarmed if somewhat confused expression as he glanced down at Celestia.
Tears streamed from Sunset’s eyes like they were open facets. “She… she… She was the only pony who ever loved me!” Sunset cried, her lips quivering. “And I killed her! And… and… I’m all alone again AND IT’S ALL MY FAULT!” As Sunset Shimmer let out the tragic cry of someone whose heart had just been torn asunder, Kibitz paused and stared down at the filly. Regarding the primary source of his daily torment with a look as he had never seen her until this very moment.
Finally, Kibitz understood why Celestia had chosen to adopt Sunset Shimmer. And then Canterlot’s Royal Butler did something he’d never thought he’d do. He walked up to Sunset, wrapped a foreleg around her and pulled her close to him. “You are most definitely not alone, Sunset Shimmer.”
Sunset’s crying came to a halt, not a slow, gradual break, but the sudden stop from surprise and confusion.
With a light azure glow of his horn, Kibitz pulled a golden watch from his pocket, opened it, and placed it in front of Sunset. “Do you know that this is?”
Sunset looked up at Kibitz with confusion. Tears still streamed from her turquoise eyes, but amongst the deep wells of despair and fields of adversity deeper than Kibitz had known or cared to visit blossomed hope. “It’s… It’s a watch,” Sunset answered as the watch gently ticked away in front of her. “Is it… Is it a magical watch?” Sunset asked hopefully.
Kibitz couldn’t help but guffaw at the small filly’s statement. “No, Sunset Shimmer, it is not magical. But it was gifted to me by Princess Cel-by your mother.” Kibitz smiled warmly at the filly his foreleg was draped over. “In addition to telling the time, it has many uses.”
Sunset said nothing but peered at the timepiece curiously.
Kibitz turned towards Celestia and floated the watch in front of her muzzle and waited a moment. He then turned the watch to face Sunset again where a tiny cloud of near translucent flog had collected on the glass surface of the watch. “Do you know what this means, Sunset Shimmer?”
Relief flooded over Sunset like a torrent of rain falling on a sun-bleached desert. “Mommy… Mommy is alive…” she muttered. “Mummy is alive!” Sunset shouted triumphantly as she rushed forward and wrapped her forelegs around Celestia’s neck.
Kibitz nodded closed his watch with a light azure glow, floating it back into his pocket. “Just out cold, it seems.” He looked down at Celestia and frowned. “That cannot possibly be good for her. We must take her to the royal physician at once!” Kibitz glanced around the library. “As embarrassing as this might be for her, perhaps we could borrow one of the libraries larger carts…”
Celestia was suddenly taken up in a turquoise glow along with three errant books from the floor as Sunset turned and began sprinting down an aisle.
Kibitz quickly pushed away is surprised at Sunset lifting a fully grown alicorn. “Sunset!” he shouted causing his mustache to bluster. “The exit is this way!” Kibitz pointed to his left.
“THERE’S NO TIME!” Sunset shouted before she hurled the three books through a large, paned glass window causing its wooden frames to break and the glass to shatter. Sunset took a running jump through the window, expertly maneuvering Celestia’s unconscious body so that it wouldn’t hit the broken glass of the window or the stone wall on its way out. “OUT OF MY WAY! I HAVE TO SAVE MY MOMMY!” Sunset cried as she barreled directly towards Canterlot castle, Celestia limply floating behind her.
Kibitz let out a heavy sigh. “Those two are going to be the death of me…” he uttered as he turned and began walking towards the library’s entrance.
“Is… is it over?” a scared mare’s voice called out to Kibitz as he passed a desk piled high with books forming a wall.
Kibitz’ bushy brows furrowed and with a light azure glow of his horn, he moved away some of the books revealing the light purple librarian, shaking and huddled in a chair.
“Yes, I believe it is,” Kibitz said. He looked around. “I’ll send over some of the castle’s staff to clean up and collect the injured and unconscious.”
The librarian craned her head slightly and peered passed Kibitz just in time to watch a light fixture that was barely hanging by a single wire break loose and ‘crash’ to the floor below.
Kibitz turned to look at the fallen light fixture then back towards the librarian. “And please bill the royal treasury for any damages incurred today.”
“… Thank you.” The librarian answered. “I think I will…”
-ooooo-
“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!”
Awareness slowly returned to Celestia as she heard the telltale sound of her daughter trying to get her attention.
“Mama! Mama! Mama!”
Sluggishly and woozily, a sense of self returned to her and her sense of touch also came into focus. She was lying on her side in her bed, Sunset practically right in her ear as the little filly said,
“Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum!”
Celestia’s eyes slowly drifted open. “Sun… Sunset? I’m awake. You can sto—”
“MOMMY!”
“Ow…” Celestia uttered at the scream fired off point blank in her ear as Sunset threw her forelegs around her mother’s neck.
With what seemed like great and rather sore effort, Celestia moved a foreleg to wrap around Sunset and returned the affection.
“My… My little shimmering sunshine,” Celestia uttered dizzily.
“Yay! You remember me!”
Celestia winced slightly and magically pulled her daughter off of her neck, and more importantly, away from her ear. She placed Sunset In front of her face and smiled. “How could I possibly forge—” Celestia gasped in horror. “—Who did that to your face?!” Celestia roared as she looked over Sunset’s blackened eyes and bruised forehead. “THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! WHOEVER LAID A HOOF ON MY DAUGHTER WILL SPEND A MILLION YEARS IN THE DUNGEON!”
Much to Celestia’s surprise, Sunset gave her a pleading look. “Nooo!” Sunset wailed. “Don’t send yourself to the dungeon for a million years, mommy!”
Memories of the library and the short, yet brutal battle that transpired there suddenly came back to Celestia like a flood of unpleasantness flowing into the living space of her mind. She dared not imagine what horrors the headlines might bring in tomorrow’s paper and probably the next several. Celestia took a deep breath and let it out. “Very well, my little shimmering sunshine. I do not believe any punishment need be doled out for what transpired in the library.”
Sunset smiled and nodded in agreement.
“However, the next time we are to take arms against one another, I suggest we have a simple pillow fight.”
Sunset giggled and nuzzled her mother’s face. “Yay! That sounds fun.”
Celestia smiled and nodded. “Then it’s a promise? Neither of us shall go to great lengths to hurt the other ever again?”
Sunset nodded her head up and down. “Um-hmm!”
‘Knock, knock!’
Celestia turned and looked towards the white wooden door across to the room on the left side of her bed. “Who is it?” she asked.
“It’s Kibitz, m’um.”
“Come in!” Celestia replied.
The door opened and a metal cart filled with silver domed covered trays was wheeled in with a light azure glow, Kibitz trotting behind it. “Your lunch is ready, your highness.”
Sunset beamed excitedly at the cart as she excitedly danced on top of Celestia’s mattress.
“Thank you, Kibitz,” Celestia said with a smile. She glanced over at one of the silver domes, catching sight of the state of her face. “… I don’t suppose the royal physician is able to heal my daughter’s and my faces?”
“He can after he has rested for a bit,” Kibitz said with a nod. “I’m afraid he used up most of his energy returning you to a state where you were likely to safely regain conscious.”
Celestia let out a sigh. “I see… Thank you, Kibitz for… well, for everything.”
Kibitz offered Celestia the slightest of smiles. “It’s my pleasure, m’um.”
“Oh, and Kibitz?”
“Yes m’um?”
“Please do me a favor and forego bringing me the morning paper for the next few days… or weeks… I trust you can use your discretion to sort out when it’s an appropriate time for me to begin reading them again.”
Kibitz let out the slightest of laughs. “Of course, m’um. Well, if you shan't be needing me…”
Celestia nodded. “Of course, Kibitz…” Celestia glanced at Sunset then suddenly turned back towards Kibitz. “On second thought… Would you like to join us?” Celestia offered. “I’m sure there’s plenty to go around.”
Kibitz looked at Celestia in surprise. “I… I appreciate that m’um, but I’m afraid I only brought enough cutlery and plates for two.”
“Oh, pish posh,” Celestia said with a dismissive wave of her forehoof. “We can repurpose the odd utensil and serving plate if need be.”
Kibitz hesitated. “I’m… I’m not sure that would be proper, my Princess…”
“Please, Kibitz?”
Kibitz turned towards Sunset as he fought hard to keep surprise off his face, only giving it the barest of an inch. “Very well,” he said before turning back to Celestia, “I’d be delighted.”
“Yay!” Sunset exclaimed, her face beaming as brightly as the sun itself, consequently, the face of the one controlling the sun was displaying a smile just as bright.
Kibitz looked around the royal bedroom briefly and floated over a chair which he sat down on. He began revealing dishes and producing plates and silverware from the lower level of the cart.
“Hey, Kibitz?” Sunset said with a smile.
“Yes, Sunset Shimmer?” Kibitz replied.
“You’re the… hmmmm…” Sunset glanced up briefly and tapped her chin thoughtfully, “…You’re the third best.”
Kibitz felt the corners of his lips curl upwards. “Why thank you, Sunset Shimmer. And who, might I ask, is the best between you and your mother.”
Sunset’s smile faltered and she looked over at her mother, pursed her lips, and furrowed her brow as her eyes went slightly cross. “Horseapples…” she uttered to herself.
“Language, young lady!” Celestia chastised.
Sunset gave Celestia a pensive look. “It’s just… I just remembered… We left the books we picked out back at the library!” Sunset moaned.
“Oh, dear!” Celestia said. “Perhaps after the royal physician looks us over we can return and—”
Kibitz cleared his throat loudly. “After lunch, I’ll return to pick up any books you two have set aside…” Kibitz lowered his voice only slightly. “Assuming they can be picked out and identified from amongst the carnage.”
Celestia frowned heavily. “That bad?”
Kibitz nodded. “I’d highly advise you send me or other members of the staff to retrieve and return books from the library for at least a few months… or perhaps even a year or more.”
Celestia took a deep breath and let it out. “… Horseapples…”
“Mommy! Language!”
The End.
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Oh god, this is hilarious!
This absolutely has to be canon to the rest of your Sunset stories. It totally explains her 'whack ponies with newspaper to make them behave' habit. And your writing of Momlestia and Filly Sunset is perfect and adorable!
Concussions for everyone!
And so begins Sunset's lifelong love affair with thwapping stupid ponies and people with the nearest piece of literature.
The only problem is, she tends to think everyone is at least a little stupid...
Celestia used a newspaper version of the Gates of Babylon. That is AWESOME!
I see what you did there...
cdn.skim.gs/images/jxrtkynzkn0naxnqqndv/the-lion-king
You monster...
8127849
Nova Quill had the EXACT same response when she first read that scene.
If Twilight ever found out about this, she'd probably go on a rampage. I also like the way you have young Sunset kind of on the line between adoring daughter and future megalomaniac. And she's so adorable too, which helps Celestia overlook certain lines that sound more ominous in light of certain events. She probably had to refile a few things in later years. I hope that "Best Sunset Shimmer moments" cabinet still is pretty full later on, but hard to tell.
Allow me to make an eloquent and poetic exclamation of my enjoyment of this story. *ahem*
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Okay.
A) This quite fun and adorable to read.
B) I still like Twilight story more.
C) It reminded me of war between Twilight and Cadence in Render onto Twilight (or something close to that. Written by McCoda)
8127900
That'll be a fun conversation.
Twilight: "You almost killed Celestia?"
Sunset: "In my defence, the fog of war had blinded both of us at the time."
Twilight: "But in a library? With books?"
Sunset: "Well, why else did you think I was starting my conquest of Equestria from a high school?"
HNNNNGGGG! The sweetness! It burns!
This was a good Momlestia story, and nice job working in those little indiscretions on Celestia's part regarding Sunset's character flaws.
One thing: You've used "tomb" where you meant "tome". One is a place for dead people; the other is a massive book.
Sweet enough that it gave me diabetes. Well done dude.
Just a few typos here and there though.
I'm guessing the librarian was Twilight Velvet? Her impromptu book fort might explain some of Twilight Sparkle's book-stacking instincts...
Well done. A very sweet story, though I liked the first one better
Nobody caught the Actual Canibal reference except for me? Seriously?
8212246
HAH! That one was so subtle I’m just happy someone got it.
bound
______________
Define. Semi-Immortal?
I always took it as Biological Immortality, with a weaker form of Nigh Invulnerability (I mean Twilight was thrown through a mountain without injury, but Celestia was also knocked out cold by Chrysalis. She lived through the more war hungry times of world history and Discord at his worst. But I can see her being knocked out by a book or a hard enough news paper thwacking. So there’s a bit of wiggle room).
But I can see them being killed if enough force is given / the right type of poison. But I don’t see death by old age being a thing for them.
8212258
Just heard of this song, and I’m so posting that here. It’s surprisingly epic.
8214660
Fixed! Thank you!
8214670
You’re welcome ^_^.
Oh that is a real sweet story. Loved it.
8127542
She's not wrong.
The physical pony manifestation of GOD, knocked out by a book. Funny story man.
Sweet, funny and heartwarming. Good job, Justice.
Judging from Sunset's er, dramatic reaction to that playful tap, was she horrifically physically abused before her adoption or did she think she was being genuinely chastised and gets upset from even the slightest hint of Celestia's disapproval? Because there's a reference in Mad About Everything to Celestia having given Sunset the occasional spanking, but if that's how she reacts to a tap that must have been rare indeed.
Though, that probably IS how your version of Sunset reacts to a reprimand from her mommy. Have I mentioned I adore your version of Sunset? Because I do. Orphan Filly Sunset Shimmer could out wooby Scootaloo.
8989712
Someday when the mood is right, I'm willing to beat myself up emotionally like that scene from Fight Club (you know the one), and I'm perhaps more caught up on my ongoings, I'll do some filly Sunset Shimmer fics.
8989735
Yay.
Definitely the true first book in the MADverse! And it was brilliant!
I really hope we can get more filly Sunset Stories someday. Filly Sunset is best Filly. Just like Princess Sunset is Best Princess.
9069403
I actually worked out what I think is the chronological order to the series. All 25 stories.
You do fantastic work with Kibitz. And with foreshadowing the tragedy to come with Sunset. It's not like she's easy to discipline. The filly is startlingly fragile at this point in her life.
I think this is my ... 4th reread.
Love the MadVerse Series.
And in a far corner of the library, where by miracle of chance, no harmful artillery had been blasted in his direction, a large, blue griffin with round glasses pointed in excitement. “Oh, there it is! He said it!”
This was one of the funniest damn things I've ever read.
:)