Fall Of Dark Tyrant Eclipse

by The REAL Mister Pkmn

A Glimpse Of the Past, A Premonition Of the Future

Aeons ago, the Dark Tyrant, the one known as Eclipse, came to possess the throne. Records of who he deposed to gain the throne have been lost without a trace. None who have challenged him have succeeded. He has turned Discord and his sister Harmonia to stone. He imprisoned Sombra in the Lost Empire and sealed Tirek himself in Tartarus, with no escape. All those who faced him fell, never to come back.

However, one who faced him long ago was of special interest. This fool was a lone crystal unicorn stallion, the mark of a Trigem - for only they had the gift of crystal skin outside of the Crystal Ponies of the once-empire. They had one other unique quality, however. They bore Marks containing three gemstones, thus their family name. . The fool dared try and wield the Elements of Harmony, but Eclipse made short work of the fool, sealing him in a crystal statue. He then tossed the Elements in perilous places, such as the Everfree, the Frozen North, the Badlands, and others, to ensure that none would ever find them.

He continued to rule the ponies for generations, the folk slowly slipping into despair. This caused them to stop earning Cutie Marks, seeing as those required a certain level of hope in one’s soul. Or, a powerful force such as Eclipse’s magic, that granted Cutie Marks to those loyal to him.

Because he held their “destinies” hostage, common ponies feared him, and the Royal Guard blindly followed him. None dared stand tall against him ever since he ordered the shattering of the remaining Trigems, who mocked him with their ability to still receive Cutie Marks without his blessing..

The years went on, becoming decades and centuries. He had expunged all traces of the Trigems and their freely appearing Cutie Marks, save for the statue of the foolish stallion. All records of how things once were had been altered, portraying Equestria that was never better than under Eclipse’s rule. The Trigems and Cutie Marks not earned through service and loyalty to the Tyrant soon became dusty old legends as the generations passed.

However, one night, the Tyrant had a premonition involving seven ponies who had marks not of his power, banding together to use the seven Elements of Harmony. All he saw in the premonition was seven silhouettes, but that gave him quite the amount of information. Most of the group were mares, with one stallion among them. One was a Pegasus, two of them looked like Earth ponies, one was a Thestral, and three of them were Unicorns, with one having Changeling features, and the stallion’s silhouette had shiny crystalline eyes that almost seemed… familiar.

He shook his head. Such thoughts were ridiculous! That pony was sealed in crystal! And none that the Tyrant had bested ever escaped, and He would be no exception. The Tyrant paid the premonition no mind, certain that it was only a faulty vision. After all, none could possibly defeat him, not today, not ever! However, the premonition stubbornly wormed its way into his subconscious nonetheless, causing near-endless nightmares. Little did he know that the criteria for his premonition would soon be met…

My Foolish Pony,

My Little Pony,

My Foolish Pony,

My Little Pony,

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Ah, ah, ah, ah...

My Foolish Pony!

My Little Pony!

You can struggle all you want against me!

Friendship is quite important, you’ll see!

My Foolish Pony!

My Little Pony!

Friendship can’t stop the powers that be!

With it we’ll restore the world’s beauty!

Devotion is dead,

A Jolting visage,

Honor is crushed,

A True melody,

Compassion is wasted,

An Analytic mind,

Charity is useless,

A Leather-winged gift,

Humor is spited,

A Chaotic mien,

Empowerment is shattered,

A Gem of a friend,

It’s an impossible feat,

It’s a surmountable task,

And without Magic, I can’t be beat!

And in Magic connections we’ll bask!

My Foolish Ponies,

My Little Ponies,

Your friendship won’t win this day!

Let’s show him the power of Friends!

An azure Shift-blood unicorn with silverish blue mane and tail was on the run, as she had been for years. Why? Surprisingly, it was not for her magical nature. No, Shift-bloods, descendants of ponies that decided to tie their lives to Changelings, were an uncommon sight, but nopony really paid them any mind. The whole reason for the two guards drawing nearer was her Cutie Mark. It was not one given by the Tyrant, something that had been dismissed as legend for centuries. But, the star-tipped wand that emanated a smoky crescent-shape with white pinpricks on her flanks was proof that such a claim was bogus. She was Trixie D’Glamour Lulamoon and she was wanted for reasons unbeknownst to her.

She was the last of the Lulamoon clan, the result of a desperate union with a changeling and her father to continue the bloodline. Not that she minded. The Changeling Magic she had was useful in many situations - as it would again, shortly. She let off a smoke-bomb spell, and then used an illusion to send out copies of her in many directions as she slipped away into a building, unnoticed. Peeking out, she noticed her pursuers pass by. She let out a sigh. While inside, she disguised herself as the most generic pony she could think of - taupe fur, blonde mane and tail, no Cutie Mark, hazel eyes. This would be perfect for a getaway - and perhaps, it would give her a chance to find the other five that the public had taken to calling “The Marked Ones.” It might be difficult, but she would find them, and stand against the Tyrant.

She then went back into the heart of the city, evading the guards as carefully as she could - after all, their were rumors of a spell that could undo a Changeling's disguise, and that would not be good.

As she wandered the streets again, she took in the look of the ponies. They were only out for themselves these days. They made "deals" with others only to turn on each other. Swindlers pulled the wool over the eyes of the desperate, having no remorse. Brutal beatings were everywhere and the guards turned a blind eye. The rich hoarded their money like dragons, and reveled in the plight of the poor. Some even openly laughed at those that were worse off, with no concern for others.

The air spoke only despair in the hearts of ponies, even those that had riches knew not hope for something better. As she saw the dark state of the world, she found herself wandering up to a statue in the Canterlot gardens. This one was different from the others, given the fact it was made entirely out of crystal. It depicted a stallion, whom by modern standards was quite tall. On his flank, she could barely make out a Cutie Mark comprised of three gems, but seeing as the crystal was all the same muted gray color, she couldn’t tell which gems they were supposed to be. The plaque beneath was nearly illegible, but she could make out one solitary word with extreme clarity - Trigem. She smiled to herself. I just wish this guy could help out. After all, there are only six of us “Marked Ones” that are talked about, and I don’t think a Guard would ever betray the Tyrant, but there are seven Elements of Harmony, none of which are in places that one would normally be caught dead going to. She sighed, shaking her head as she walked off. Had she stayed a bit longer, she would have noticed a single crack appearing in the otherwise flawless muted gray crystal. The criteria were starting to surface...

Author's Note:

Well, here's yet another alternate to put in my multiverse. This one, however, is planned to be a stand-alone fic. I hope that you all enjoy. If you like/dislike/fave, please tell me why in the comments below. Edited by EverfreePony.

Comments

[NicLove]

Before I read this, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

[The REAL Mister Pkmn]

8290897
The darkness at this point only refers to the stat of the world of this fic. It's not gonna get much darker. This is just an experiment to see if I can properly write dark fics.

[EverfreePony]

Hmm... not a bad beginning, I'm curious where this will lead, for it seems there is a great adventure and a crazy gang of ponies waiting ahead. By the way, I really like the rewritten theme song there

However, there are a few issues I'd like to point out.

Or, a powerful force such as Eclipse’s magic

So, uh... is Eclipse the Tyrant? Or his mage? Or somepony completely different? You see, you are talking just about 'the Tyrant' and suddenly there is this Eclipse. From reading the story's description and title, I know he's the Tyrant, but it should be made clear in the story itself.

He had expunged all traces of the Trigems, save for the statue.

Which statue? Again, we learn it just at the very end of the chapter what the statue is, yet here you are talking about it like we already knew. It's said the Trigem pony was sealed in crystal, however, the reader can't know it was a crystal statue until the end of the chapter.

Speaking of Trigem... who/what it is? Or will it be explained later?

An azure Shift-blood Unicorn

Uh, what's a shift-blood?

She was the last of the clan

The clan? Which clan? The definite article tells me the reader should know the clan. If yes, explanation should be made. If not, replace it with 'a' or 'her'.

The last thing I'd like to address is a little bit of the 'dark story' potential escaping you in the Trixie part. First, there is a little bit of jarring lack of transition. In one paragraph, Miss D’Glamour is hiding in a building and the next one, she is casually walking through Canterlot Castle gardens. If you are planning to make this story dark with the danger of being caught waiting just around the corner, this is the best place to start it. Despite her disguise, Trixie should still be careful. So, why not show the reader her travel from the building to the gardens, letting her witness some darker moments in the streets as well as putting her under tension and a few cliffhangers. That shall do the job to enthral and hook the reader

Also, if you want someone to comb for the grammar errors and such, I might know a volunteer for that.

[The REAL Mister Pkmn]

8310129
Thanks for the advice. Now, about that volunteer you mentioned...

[EverfreePony]

8311047
You're welcome. Well, you are talking to that volunteer. I just tend to beat around the bush a little when it comes to a more 'formal' communication

[The REAL Mister Pkmn]

8311062
Ah. Well, comb through it if you want. We all seem to overlook things like that when we write, and it often takes an outside eye to see it.

[EverfreePony]

8311079
Indeed. However, if you have a GDoc version of this chapter with the suggesting tool on at hand, it'd be far more convenient both for you and me. Also, if you want to check if my work is worth your story, I can provide you with links to the stories I edited.

[The REAL Mister Pkmn]

8311090
FODTE Ch1 Google Doc Link

[EverfreePony]

8311232
You can find my comments there.

[The REAL Mister Pkmn]

8312662
Thanks for your help. It helps a lot.