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When Twilight takes Starlight through the time portal, they arrive to the dead remnants of Equestria. Among those remnants, there is one lost soul...

An idea that I got while watching S5 finale.

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josue

josue #1 · Apr 30th, 2017 · 1 · ·

wow

ParodiaTheSilent

ParodiaTheSilent #2 · Apr 30th, 2017 · 2 · ·

This story just got forty more views in the six minutes it took me to read it.

Good job. This was actually a decent one-shot.
And coming from me, 'decent' is the best complement anyone can get.

JackRipper

Moderator

JackRipper #3 · Apr 30th, 2017 · 1 · ·

It was aight.

NebulaNyx

NebulaNyx #4 · Apr 30th, 2017 · 1 · ·

Not bad, not bad at all.

Needling Haystacks

Needling Haystacks #5 · Apr 30th, 2017 · 1 · ·

Were those first two paragraphs from the S5 finale? I don't recall. It's not clear quiiite how those relate. I'm guessing just showing that AJ is somehow bound to SAA? I feel like that issue was never really resolved.

I do think some tweaking at the end might be in order... If you'll recall, Starlight claimed the desert was an illusion of some sort (or something like that). I maintain she was probably in denial about that. Anyway, if you had her claim somethign similar at the end, it would transition pretty naturally into how the episode continued. That may not have been your point of course, but it came to mind.

I would also personally like some explanation of just what is going on here. WHY would AJ be mystically bound to that spot, apparently across timeline modifications? At the very least, in canon she went to Manehattan for a significant period of time as a filly.

Cadiefly

Cadiefly #6 · Apr 30th, 2017 · 2 · ·

Aww man, I can't wait to see how everyone will react when I finally get to release my Barren One-Shot. It's been running around my head ever since I saw the conclusion to season 5. I liked yours. Maybe you'll like mine.