• Published 25th Apr 2017
  • 675 Views, 20 Comments

The Storm Dancer - Ice Star

[Poetry] A young Luna flies far above the trees...

  • ...


Author's Note:

holy shit i wrote prose too who knew

Luna tried to move her wings for what must have been the tenth time. She hadn't been counting.

The blood spotted bandages around each once-proud limb spoke only of the sharp pain that came from having that raging drunk of a wizard pull her feathers out so sloppily while mixing his boasts of how fine the quills he made from each would be with curses about a species that no pony could make heads or tails of beyond locking her and Celestia away under his 'care'.

She felt raw - even more so when she felt a forehoof press down on her left wing, and a bit too roughly despite the owner's graceful manner, Luna knew that she had yet to master her strength and that she did not have to turn her head to know that the hoof would be a dainty pinkish white that was never 'marred' with pine needles or the smell of fresh snow on the tree boughs. It was clad in a silken slipper by the feel of it.


It was the shackle that wasn't her name, but something of the wizard's own making at finding their true names to be not to his liking.

And when her sister said it, Luna knew it was an order that her elder sibling felt no need to finish as if her deceptively warm yet commanding voice that every noble in the Unicorn Court loved was enough for that infuriating calm sound that once guided her along with conversations like breadcrumbs in the more interesting woods of silence that hung between them was enough on it's own.

But it wasn't.

The hoof pressed on her wing and the slight increase in pressure caused Luna to jerk her body away from her sister.

"Selene," her sister said more forcefully, as if to imitate the mother they no longer had.

Luna simply didn't listen - not to her sister, at least. Her roaming mind had strayed to the dance of storms under her hooves and the feel of wind on her back.

Comments ( 18 )

Loved it :heart:
This site could use a little more poetry.

Begging your pardon, but you using an INACCURATE interpretation of Princess Luna?

8120689 What are you talking about?

8120689 how the hell is it inaccurate
Care to explain yourself? :duck:

8121717 I just don't like the alternative take someone portrayed Princess Luna. Also, you should consider washing your own mouth out.

8121794 mmm nah
You realize that this story is about a young Luna, right?

8121794 Okay, while 'inaccurate/OOC' isn't a completely subjective matter - characters do have defining traits/goals/etc. you never bother to explain what you define as 'alternative' or how this relates to the Luna shown in the story (and even then, her and her surroundings are kept rather brief in order to keep scenery and emotion as the focus). Thus, if you cannot even attempt to explain what you consider 'accurate' and act civilly in a comments section, then please don't be expect to have your potentially grammatically incorrect and hastily posted comments seriously - especially if you didn't even read the story in the first place, because then you have no clue to how 'accurate' the depiction is.

8122185 8121794


8122185 I'm talking about the cover art. I've seen the person who made an "alternative" design for Princess Luna and absolutely dislike everything about it, that's all. Anyway, I also apologize if what I've previously stated sounded offensive.

8122335 ...The cover art.:ajbemused:

Why didn't you go take that up with the artist rather than a fanfiction writer who is simply using it? The DA page is linked.

8122359 While I feel tempted to confront her about it, I don't feel like doing so out of fear of starting a war.

8122364 Okay... so an alternate design of a character that has nothing remotely offensive/gory/suggestive about it has lead you to leave unclear comments on fanfiction using the art and is in no way written by or connected to the actual artist? Don't you think that's rather petty?

8122379 No, it's just I'm very satisfied with Princess Luna current design from the show and don't seem to understand why someone would want to make an alternate form of it.

8122388 For fun, maybe? I'm not the one you should be asking.

There seemed to be a hint of a meter in the poem section. Was that intentional?

Also, good job. You should write more Luna poetry.

8147506 There was some - one I devised for this little experiment. I have written more pony poetry too, some of it does have Luna, some doesn't.

Login or register to comment