• Member Since 8th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago


I'm a giant ball of hate, alcoholism, and shipping.


When Trixie and Starlight find the friendship map after Trixie misplaced it with her wayward teleportation spell, the two discover a horrible mistake that will haunt them for the rest of their lives. After all, there's a reason most ponies don't teleport big things around on a whim.

Good thing Starlight has a plan and the know how that can take care of the whole problem.

Prereading by: Majin Syeekoh and Rainedash

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 14 )

Pretty good. Loving how you wrote The Ditsy and Careless Trixie here.

Trixie's really come into her own as a character the last few seasons.

Comedy's hard. But you have the gift.

Unlike Starlight. :pinkiecrazy:

Thanks. It was a fun change of pace to write something dark and absurd for once.

Starlight's a bro tho.

I now want a story with Trixie and Starlight as the most incompetent hitmen in history, yet still ending up getting away with everything.

That would be pretty entertaining. Starlight and Trixie suit up in tuxedos and fumble their way through an assassination attempt and miss getting caught by the skin of their teeth. I'd read it.

I guess it's true what they say. A real friend will help you move bodies. Or in this case get rid of a few witnesses and bury the evidence. Friendship problem solved!:pinkiecrazy:

That's how you know they're the best of friends.

It only had to be accidental pony slaughter. And now Trixie is a serial killer. :ajbemused:

Good story.

And this is why we can't have nice things.... No, this qualifies as an "awesome" thing!

The Forget-Me-Stick is a wonderful invention. And so much easier than digging.

Well, Applejack has pigs and no direct competitors in Ponyville...

Winona may be less of a problem than what the dynamic duo thinks.

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