• Member Since 8th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

JLB


Never working, ALL the time. Some things are on hiatus, some I'm working on at rates you'd rather not know.


T

Co-written with Dark Avenger and another person who's not really here on FimFic.

Centuries after Discord's defeat and the separation of the Royal Sisters, for about a decade now, there is peace and prosperity in Equestria under the rule of Princess Celestia. Her governance is wise, benevolent, and remarkably efficient. However, it's not all so simple. Celestia may be an immortal alicorn bearing the wisdom of centuries, but along with this wisdom comes a heavy burden of memories and decisions. After centuries spent toiling away on her own, something had changed.

Few know it, but the creature they see as their Princess in public is, in fact, a body double. A mysterious, shape-shifting, insect-like empath creature who wears the guise of the alicorn to handle all the things she would rather not. How this creature came to be and how Celestia came to find it, not even the ones priveleged to know the secret of Osmosis the shapeshifter know.

While Osmosis' shenanigans have taken up a good amount of Celestia's worries for the last decade, they were also her only form of proper social interaction. Nightmare Moon's return is on the horizon, and after such long neglect, Celestia's senses are unfit to seek out candidates for a trained protege - a pony capable of reuniting the Elements of Harmony and wielding them when the time comes.

50 years remain to find a fitting family from which to find one. Whatever Osma is, her ability to stay on track makes that an adequate timeframe...

---
NOTE:
Stray elements of Romance and Comedy, but enough to make it into the tags IMO.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 21 )

Well, well, what did I just find?:raritystarry:
An unkown diamond in the rough?:pinkiehappy:
Good, good. I'm no good at editing, but let this one be here for good old moral support, okay?:twilightsmile:
You will be happy, I can say. Good luck with another sorry. And for you, I'll add this story to groups,too.:rainbowdetermined2:
Sea you next chapter!~

This was fun, if hard to follow.

JLB

8110375

Well it's good to know some people still remember to leave a comment if they end up liking something (not to mention disliking). Thanks for that much, barren comments are rarely something that's good to see. I'm only mostly sure what you were talking about, but yeah, I guess it wouldn't be that bad if this story had any real success to it. It's gonna be long and take a while to come out, but hey, it has the magical SoL tag that makes people like things automatically, so...


8110443

Eh, I dunno. I suppose it could just be that a lot needed to be set up in this first chapter. It'll be a recurring issue with the next two chapters as well. Next cycle, which'll come out some time later, should be more concise.

I ironically also had the idea of Celestia having a body double Except in that case it was two male con ponies in a costume who wanted to use Celestia's image to get inside a vault containing forbidden super-weapons they planned to sell to a highest bidder. Celestia made the costume real, and two of them were her body double for a year, but by that time had fallen in love, and that is where Fleur's great-great grand mother came from.

Oh I wonder many families(or what ever the plural form for family is) Osmosis is going to check on.:twilightsmile:

And about this chapter, this family was, well, 'normal' but not to normal, in an sense. I like them is what I am trying to say. I do hope they show up again soon or later.

Now then, this one will be watching you in the not so creepy way.:twilightsheepish:

Maybe you could pay in cakes? About forty would do.” She smiled openly to make sure it was understood as a joke, because something told her Celestia wouldn’t actually know what to do with forty cakes delivered to Canterlot Towers. That’d be terrible. For Osma.

Oh my! That would be as many as four tens! And just imagine the risk of theft!

Okay, we're at NM -50, yes? So we're probably looking for Magicbutt's grandparents. I reckon we may have found one of them. Especially with the connection to the play. I reckon that Gospodin Chekhov would agree.

This chapter make....not hate, but makes me see Celestia as an weak pony. Somepony who hates change, making her an horrible Leader.:twilightsmile:

Which in turn, Osma looks like an better Leader then her, an way better leader.:twilightsmile:

But, that what I see and say. Good chapter, I say!

JLB

8113955

For anyone who hasn't read the third chapter yet, SPOILERS DOWN HERE. I'm compensating for things that should probably have been part of the chapter.

That's not exactly as black and white as it seems. One specific detail that's alluded to in the chapter is something that I guess I should have emphasised a little more. On top of the societal change that it'd have brought, the other big issue would be that a lot of ponies would suddenly become completely obsolete.

When a tatoo on your butt dictates what you're bad or good at, it's kind of hard to be reasonable about your job being all but replaced by something some rich unicorns cooked up in their kitchen. At least that's how most of Equestria would see it, even if the implementation were to be very gradual. They're described as fearing change and being stagnant for a reason, after all.

While it's true that not everyone has a highly specific mark, and that not everyone works in the field they're talented in, it's the thought that counts - they would realize that they, themselves, are now less needed, less valuable, because some fancy gizmo can do what they do better than them. You wouldn't be very happy if your main skill was mining, and all of a sudden a few untrained ponies armed with this sort of tools can do what would have taken you months. Even if they let you have the honors and do it all in an easier fashion, you would inevitably feel hollow, knowing that you could just as easily be useless. And finally, even if it was all to be heavily downgraded and introduced gradually, the trend would really not escape the ponies at all. There would be a lot of discontent in Equestria at knowing that their obsolescence is on the horizon, and it would be made even worse by the ones who'd feel like this was the right thing to do.

Basically, Equestria's in a very bad spot no matter how you approach this issue - unless you do what she did.

Basically speaking, the dilemma presented in that chapter is something of a parallel to the real word issue of automatization. Whereas prior leaps in industrial progress were manageable, this particular step in our technological advancement would eliminate a lot more jobs than it would create, at least in the way I personally see it. Celestia's choice isn't exactly the same, but it's similar, and she chooses the route that is safest for Equestria. Despite the good intentions of the creators, little good would have come out of uplifting the nation to sci-fi tier tech at the cost of destabilizing every region and causing immense societal upheaval.

8114638
Even before this fic I headcanoned Equestria as being resistant to change, and that's a really good look at why that might be that I hadn't thought of. Thanks!

If I had to pick a single feature of your writing as my favorite, it would be how nicely you hint at things, making it pretty clear what you're getting at without ever seeming too blatant or off-topic about it: I was imagining Fleur from the first line of her disguise (Fancy's going to add an interesting dynamic, if you're planning on going that far forward) even before you described her cutie mark, and of course that's why Manehattan is so much more modern than most else we've seen on the show. That's certainly not for lack of other choices though: you have a really good hand for characterization, and your Equestria feels like it has a nice, rich backstory to it without the story getting mired in explaining everything -- I personally do enjoy fics that try to drown me in worldbuilding, but that's definitely not everyone's cup of tea, and even I find lighter fics a nice break; you manage to take the best of both sides and develop the history without dragging out the pacing.

I was kind of hoping you were going for ace rather than gay with Comet, but it was definitely fun either way. Looking forward to seeing what other carefully-curated politicking OzmaOsma stumbles straight through!

JLB

8118539

Thanks a lot for the detailed comment, you rarely get that these days. Well, the likes of me, anyway. I'm not particularly great with receiving compliments honestly, though it's not as if I don't want them. In the swamp of obscurity that most of us dwell, that's definitely welcome, and I should say that I'm glad to see that what I've put a fair amount of effort into has found its reader. In any case, I'll make a few notes on things you've pointed out.

I'm pretty glad that Fleur was as easy to imagine as she was, I probably even know why - the main reason I chose her as Osma's other pony persona was the simple fact that she's more or less the only other alicorn-esque mare we see on the show. While that does basically mean that she's just really tall and has a slightly different face, that's an immediate connection you make in your mind. The choice will also make progressively more and more sense as the fic continues on.

In regards to Comet, I can't even blame myself that much. He wasn't actually meant to be gay when he was conceived, but one of the people who helped me write called him extremely gay due to his behavior with Celestia. It got too amusing and I decided to make that canon, changing some future scenes to make that more than a little implicit. But the idea wasn't mine, he was originally just meant to be extremely nice and sweet (artificially so).

Also gonna use this comment to point out that the fic's gonna take a while to continue. It'll be updated in 3-chapter spurts, but these take a lot of time. This, for instance, took a month. Considering I also write some other things so as to avoid burnout, it'll probably be until summer that the next arc is released.

This is really well written, if a bit of a confusing style. Kind of hard to follow scenes at times, I don't know why, but it is good enough on a technical level to keep me engaged. I also really like Osmosis -- she's fun! :pinkiehappy:

Such a shame this has so few views. I can tell you put a ton of thought and effort into this.

JLB

8194057 Yeah, I wish I knew. This is a problem that's been haunting me ever since I started writing. In fact, I tried to make this fic as straightforward and easy to read as I possibly could have, but judging by how it's come out, I didn't really succeed. And that justifies the nonexistent views, really.

The title is long (I couldn't come up with a shorter one that wasn't pretentious), there is no cover art (no decent artists have their commissions open, and I'm not exactly made of money myself), and each chapter is like 10k long. And once you start reading, you constantly have to keep paying attention. Not exactly the sort of thing that gets popular.

I feel so, so bad for Garnet. I wonder how many poor ponies Celestia has driven to suicide by barring them from fulfilling their dreams...

Oh! Osmosis a 'space alien'? *snickers* What an imagination Diamond has! Actually, her being from another dimension, other galaxies aside, would explain why changelings are an unknown. So, if Diamond is correct, that means Chrysalis doesn't exist in this universe. Neat

I really enjoyed this chapter! Osmosis is as adorable as ever and we are getting into some really neat stuff!

JLB

8292418

Actually, at the moment, they are considering her to be one of a kind, for what that's worth. And, well, good. The next chapter will be a little bit different, though the one to follow should make up for that.

Well Osmosis seems to be Reformed Changeling, !like Thorax with the Beetle wing shields, dragon fly wing tale, uninterrupted carapace and chest gems. It's possible she's the princess
Of a destroyed changeling hive hidden by her queen. Since she is given love meant for her she's more healthy and symbiotic than Chrissy was. I am more interested if the chest gems are they rank indicators, or if changelings have no so single breeding female in "symbiotic" form are the like lighting bugs, meaning Osmosis' biological clock is ticking and she is unintentionally look for a mate?

A new chapter so soon after the last? You're spoiling us!

However, I'm afraid I won't be able to read it, let alone comment about it, today. I'll be reading it as soon as I am able!

8194384
yeah, it's an intense read. which I'm loving, since if I'm in the mood for one it's hard to find a good one. the only problem I'm having is once I start a chapter I have a hard time setting it aside to do something else since there isn't many good breaking points in the story. :twilightsheepish:

This danced the line of brilliant and bizzare.

First off, thanks for writing, and this is a very intriguing concept and not a terrible execution.

Secondly, I am not a fan of the beginning, regardless of how well you handled Old English: it was just, too in media res, but not even? I guess you tried to avoid an expedition dump—I also skimmed over the whole staircase scene, which, while it gave us glimpses of Os' impish personality, felt a little redundant still—but there was too little context or too few details for me to picture what was happening or even really feel immersed in the story.
I felt a bit of whiplash during Celestia and Os' dialogue. Os is fun, and Celestia is a personal favorite of mine, but I was floundering a lot, trying to figure out what the hay is going on. Perhaps you should include the date as an out-of-story thing so it doesn't need to be shoved in as a talking point?
Come to think of it, this also danced between delightful and disturbing.
I have to admit to wondering if Os would take the massage into Tantric territories, but, while it was cute to see Celestia downed, the telepathy thing has disconcerting implications. Maybe I've read too many mind-control stories, but, yeah. There are horrific possibilities.
Also, my personal preferences wanted me to nope out of here at the stallion thing, but that's just me. The history bit was a nice touch; I liked it a lot, and not just the actual content of Equestrian history, but the interplay between Celestia and Os.

Anyway, you write well, and I would like to see more of this :)

JLB

8336706
Thanks a lot for the expansive comment, very rare to get those. Seems this fic has attracted at least a couple, which can't be a bad thing. I'll address some of what you've mentioned.

The beginning is something that could have been better, I agree. I was bent on not being blatant and introducing things smoothly, which perhaps wasn't the best idea - yes, it serves its purpose and is likely not bad, but it's not perfect. In medias res is a trope I enjoy a lot however, so no matter what the beginning was going to be, it would likely have been like that.

Important things being dropped in dialogue, by the way, will largely remain a trend. One of this fic's bigger issues, as of me, and one I am having some trouble fixing, is that there's important stuff everywhere. The part with the stairway, which you skipped, is one of the very few that are skippable. The rest is liable to have interesting, important info thrown into conversations or descriptions.

As for the telepathy and all... That's actually completely fine, it's a legitimate concern that will eventually be brought up in-universe. The length of time they've been together and Osma's status as a glorified punching bag is what implies that she isn't currently doing what she could possibly be doing. That aside, the, ahhh, possibilities that her talents open up (massage included) are certainly something that'll have a lot of light shed on it.

And, well, if the stallion remark was something you took issue with, I kind of have bad news there. This is actually one of the main, driving issues of the plot. It'll continue being a thing, and a very explicit thing, for... the entire fic to come. So continuing on with the chapters that are out is at your discretion, I guess.

Thanks for taking the time to comment regardless, it's not a thing that happens often.

Well, I could definitely agree with the first comment that it is "diamond in the rough".
Finished it in one go and still want more.
I like your style, even if it is confusing for some people - I find it refreshing, because it's somewhat unusual.
Found it through " princess celestia, romance, channeling" search and still hope that they will be couple). Time will tell.

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