Hayseed Turniptruck will do anything to win the affection of the beautiful Rarity. He's gotten desperate. Girls like vampires, right?
Unfortunately, he fails to consider a very important part of vampirism.
Chapters (1)
totallynotabrony
Joined 15th Feb, 2012 ·
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Everything was so much better back when vampires were horrifying ugly monstrosities that represented The Plague...
Here is an idea Hayseed, give up. Concentrate in figuring out in how to become a millionaire, gain power in some other city like Manehattan, and then you can buy all the mare pu@#y you could ever want. Hell they will practically flock to you.
In fact also give up on love, with your looks the best you can do is buy the attention of a mare. Sorry pall, but that is the terrible way of the world.
"Well, what am I supposed to compare her to? An ... *shudder* apple? Ugh."
You wrote an all-vampire coffee shop? I find that kind of depressing, actually.
I'm kind of wondering if chapter 2 will be Hayseed trying desperately to get turned into a werewolf after his plans of vampirism are burned to the ground.
He ... self-friendzoned?
Hayseed was probably thinking that vampirism worked this way:
ic.pics.livejournal.com/alliancesjr/7508829/195635/195635_original.jpg
8135177 The way of the world is varied. Don't give up on love because money can make you look better. Time and hard work also helps. Hayseed lives in world of magic for heavens sake. Think the ponies have dentists. They got hair stylist. Looking at Hayseed, think he could start with his teeth and work on the hair a bit. Then the clothes.
First before all that is his attitude. That's key.
Ooooo! Great characterization of almost stereotypes, portrayed with depth, and biting social commentary! Literally, in this case.
Nicely done, bro!
😍😍😍😍