The Mare and the Pea

by Holocron

Sleepless Night

"Are you certain you cannot be persuaded?" Asked Princess Celestia as she tried to enjoy her afternoon tea. "There are plenty of fine, well mannered mares in the noble court. Surely one of them must have-"

"No Auntie, I shall not humor those backward, savage harlots with even a second glance." Snapped the voice of Prince Blueblood, as he placed his cup of tea down on the table. Coughing a little, the young Prince quickly composed himself. "No, I do not want some leech who only wants me because I am your nephew. You remember that vulgar commoner who acted so arrogant in your presence? What was his name? Buck Withers I believe."

"I...somewhat see your point nephew." Celestia sighed, her mind recalling the sheer embarrassment of seeing her niece dating that self-absorbed Earth stallion, and how much of a bad impression he made when he first saw him. Taking her mind off the bad memories, Celestia took another sip of tea. "How can you be so sure that the mare is as sincere as she appears?"

"I will hold a challenge." Blueblood calmly replied, finishing his drink. "Even if they do not carry royal blood, I will accept no less than a mare of Princess quality."

"Tell me, what defines a "Princess quality"?" Celestia asked, lifting her eyebrow. For a few moments, Blueblood sat and pondered. Celestia knew all too well that her nephew had a habit of saying without thinking. But he seemed sincere enough in his words that Celestia allowed Blueblood some time to think. After a few more minutes, Celestia took another breath and spoke up. "Are we determining grace, education, or mannerisms?"

"Those are all good qualities." Blueblood responded, finally forming his thoughts. "But I want to learn something else before going into such things."

"And what would that be?" Celestia asked, curious as to what else Blueblood would consider a "Princess quality".

"Delicacy." Blueblood answered, his voice echoed confidence in his response. Before Celestia could even reply, Blueblood explained his reasoning. "A Princess is meant to be a height of all things. She is meant to be the purest and most humble. And because of that, I see the most important Princess quality as being delicate."

"H-how delicate?" Princess Celestia asked, fighting her urges to tell Blueblood is doesn't work like that.

"We will stack every mattress in the castle and have the mare sleep at the top." Blueblood answered, but took a breath as he continued detailing his plan. "And at the very bottom, there will be a single pea. If the mare is as delicate as a Princess should be, then that single pea will obstruct her night's rest."

'I think just being on a tower of mattresses will cause enough unrest. That's over forty mattresses you know!' Celestia screamed in her mind, but maintained a calming expression. Realizing nothing more she could say would deter Blueblood from them, Celestia nodded with a sigh. "Very well, we will issue this challenge to every mare of marrying age and test each and every one."

"Thank you Auntie!" Blueblood smiled, his face as excited as a colt at Hearth's Warming Eve.

---

True to her word, Celestia had every Pegasus guard fly around Equestria to deliver the challenge. As expected, almost every mare in Equestria traveled to Canterlot in droves. Celestia looked on as she saw the faces of these mares. She knew some of them were humble enough, and even less looked to be perfect matches for her nephew. But half of the mares were ponies Celestia despised; charlatans seeking only to use Blueblood's relation to Celestia to ascend themselves. Celestia took some solace knowing that even though all these mares would surely fail the challenge, at least the deceivers would be equally rejected.

But as she searched, Celestia's eyes locked onto a lone mare. She was a Unicorn mare with a coat as white as snow, and a mane as violet as the flower. Looking more intensely, looking for anything that could be wrong with this mare. But the more she stared, the more confident Celestia was becoming. This mare walked with perfect grace, not a single hair went out of place as she shifted through the crowd. Her motion was a fluid as water, it was as if this mare was passing through the other mares like a soft breeze.

"Guards!" Celestia ordered, determined to make sure this mare won. "Bring that mare to Blueblood, now!" The guards saluted and ran off to capture this mysterious mare. 'I still don't believe Blueblood's challenge can work, but maybe this mare can catch his eye.'

That night, Celestia prayed that even if the mare fails, Blueblood would look past that and see the true "Princess quality" within. The Sun could not rise fast enough as Celestia awaited the mare's response. As she made her way to see the mare, Celestia was surprised to see both the mare and Blueblood in a loving embrace. Despite how composed she tried to make herself, Celestia's utter surprise was obvious.

"Auntie, I have great news!" Blueblood all but cheered as he looked at the shocked look on his Aunt's face. "This mare, among the countless others has told me that she had a sleepless night. That some hard object obstructed her sleep." Celestia wasn't sure was shocked her more; the fact Blueblood finally found a bride, or because he found her through his thought to be impossible challenge. Either way, Celestia was happy for her nephew. "Auntie Celestia, I'd like you to formally meet my bride...Princess Rarity."

Comments

[Iron Comet]

"Some hard objet he says, he wouldn't keep his hooves off me all night! Also some idiot put a pea under my mattress, the cad!"

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

Yeah, Blueblood has high standards. First, they have to be able to stand the idea of being married to HIM. That alone should eliminate 97%+ of the candidates.

[GuardianofRoin]

Huh, was expecting something more like Celly asking Rarity only to have her laugh hysterically before giving the princess a deadpan look and saying "You're serious? " I would figure Rarity would sooner have a restraining order against Blue blood than consider dating him post gala.

[SPark]

8101578 This is marked "AU" so the gala probably didn't happen in this setting. I expect this happened instead. It is interesting to see them end up together, though. I bet that doesn't last long!

[MixMassBasher]

And when Rarity heard the news, she screamed bloody murder.