sejox
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Great chapter, I love Spike/Twilight stories and it never feel there are enough out there. I wonder will she end up triggering some dragon instinct in him giving him all this constant simulation like this?
Where can I find skunkwaffle?
8115733 like you i never feel like there is enough twispike in this fandom, and each season just sums up the amount required, so this is my contribution to it, the first but surely not the last one.
Think you mean 'her' there. heh.
8116020 thanks for the correction
i had to crop something from the original so i knew i could have messed up while editing
seems like an interesting story, but the tragedy tag has me a bit worried.
There's a lot of places with wrong words or just the wrong sense of it, like instead of using her or him, you use the opposite of what it is, like the last line "his dragon" or "his little assistant" I would suggest getting an editor or at least proofreading, but enough ranting, really like where this is going keep it up
8116166 thanks for the advice, actually i was thinking in getting an proofreader since English is not my first language, but i wanted so much to see how the people would react to the first chapter that i couldn't resist to publish it.
8115767 Great I Can't wait to see what else you will do with this pairing. I mean I could honestly see you doing the flip. Where Spike is the one lusting after the innocent Twilight. And she doesn't know till it is too late and his desire for her reaches its breaking point lol. I mean we just seen in the last ep that honestly Twi can't really function without Spike fixing all her probs so it isn't hard to see their relationship grow to be something more than siblings lol.
I'm interest in the story.
8116183
that's great seeing as English isnt your first language, you're doing really well
What's the tragedy?
8117016 patience and time would give you the answer
Damn girl you hungry
Dude... I'm liking this story, but you seriously need an editor. That, or use Grammarly.
8126689 Thanks for the support and advice, I'm gonna check it right away.
She is way too forgiving
Great chapter, I wonder what that potion will do to Spike? And who knows what he will do if he see Twi near another stallion? It might waken a primal part of him?
Well this was interesting to say the least. I do wonder they are more or less trading Spike off. Which is worse since he doesn't even know about it? I mean what do they think will happen when he finds out? But isn't that the thing, the brainwashing they have been doing to him for years... They have been shaping him to be willing to give up anything/everything for those he care about. Even if it means being traded off to another kingdom to be used how they see fit for political favor. I guess Celestia lives up to her crown as a monarchy and doing whatever is needed, even selling out a drake that was raised to see her as a mother. I do wonder how Cand will justify it, I mean she wasn't born into royalty and she is the goddess of love, so she knows how much Spike loves all of them and to use that love for their own gain seems to go against her own teaching. I wonder what this will do to all the relationships from here on out. And I wonder if Twi will be more aggressive in gaining Spike knowing what she knows now?
8130753 The effects of the potion that was given to him doesn't last long. It wore out of his system in a few days; however, this is not the only time I'll mention that exotic elixir.
8130776 Now, speaking of Momlestia may get me spoiling a little, but don't worry, everything would be explained in the future. By the meantime just think of this, if she really wanted, Celestia could have sent Spike a while back ago.
Ohhhh naught
Very Kinky
Interesting. I wonder if the more frequent he is having his erotic dreams will start to effect him in the real world? I mean you keep dreaming about someone and you doing erotic things to them you will start to get effected when you are around them for real. And Twi banking on this would go far to make sure that inner breast in him in awakened. Maybe even flashing him her marehood to get him going lol. I wonder does she want to be the dom in their relationship all the time or does she want to see him take charge sometime as well? I do wonder as well, it seems that ALL the girls have the wrong idea about Spike's age? I mean they all see him as a kid when in truth he is really in his late teens. The age gap between him and the girl is nowhere near as big as they all think it is. Which I wonder does how they treat him bug him when he is much older than they think and far more mature than even most of the girls?
8138795 Spike, is quite the strong character when it comes to controlling his instincts and behavior, that's something that will come to play in future chapters. by the meantime for his urges, well having this kind of release of stress so often can peace him out easily.
to this point, there is almost a clear view of twilight's perspective, including something she doesn't know but Spike- kind of - does. So the next chapter will also have Spike as the main event. The only thing I need is time to add more scenes and a proper environment to express his development.
Get an editor or use Grammarly. Please. You're killing me.
8144113 I guess working on it till morning didn't help either. just today I noticed a lot of errors, but I don't know if unpublish this chapter will be the right thing to do. Either way, I'm going to search for an editor again, hope I have some luck this time.
8144302 No need to unpublish, you can work on it on the integrated editor. And I advise taking your time. Don't rush or push yourself when writing. Trust me, it comes out better that way.
Other than that, I'm liking the story a lot.
so a deus ex machina for spike
nice
btw you should also proofread this chapter as it has alot of errors
Great chapter, can't wait to see more
ok this chapter was confusing and very rushed. Also why would Spike react that way and have sex with twilight if he knew that something was wrong with her? He turn into a horndog or something? You may wanna remake this chapter or at the very least make it a bit more clear. The dude was chewing her out a second and then grinding on her the other second
8170975 the proofreading part is still a work in progress.
8170975 actually, the fuzzy way of the chapter was something I wanted to do. the heat, revelations, and instincts rushed the arguing to the point they weren't even hearing themselves. at a certain point, I wanted the reader to feel as lost as the characters were; the fact that Twilight was in a frenzied state helped a lot in the process.
I wouldn't say Spike was a horndog, the guy is just a young adult with a lot of stress on his daily routine(plus the information given in the chapter). Even when I admire the inner will of the little dragon, perceiving him as someone that could say no to the desires of someone that he loves like a family but at the same time desires like a mate were hard for me. I just thought it would be OOC to give him that much will power.
Bow chicka wow wow
Great chapter can't wait to read more.
Only twilight could get caught that getting down and dirt and feet about making a mess in her teachers room. Seriously when I read that I face palmed got a few strange looks for that but yeah only twi would do that.
8176094 you can never know when the dragon's aphrodisiac will kick in
8171466 This story is good, and has a lot of potential, but is at the same time very painful to read due to all of the grammar and sentence mistakes.
I realize English isn't your first language and I can certainly understand the hardships of trying to write in another language.
If you would like I would be happy to offer my services as a proofreader and editor for this stroy. I would also be happy to edit the existing chapters of the story as well.
BRUTAL!
twilight was correct to a point in her actions however the figures should have been put on trial and sentenced to what ever sadisdic thing the readers could thing of (i have quite a few already pm me if you would like the list) and then the princess would be made an alicorn forcefully and be raped and bred for all eternity, while having her children killed in front of her and being helpless about it.
8195552 duuuuude that's isn't your usual kind of savage
that is extreme savage right there
8196265 ok i may have gone overboard i hate when spike is drugged and then raped, if he were just raped, i'd say rip them apart, but drugging him, they need to suffer the cruelest possible thing i can think of in this situation, thus is my comment.
you may need to add a dark tag and a gore tag however.
Hope for the sequel and Hopefully Spike love will be in bloom.
Beautiful story, simply beautiful
8216196
thanks, it really warms my heart that you liked it
8216186 I still don't know if I want the sequel to be some kind of spin off (with less depth but more fun) or something more elaborate and serious. Either way I’m gonna wait for a moment, maybe till the 15th episode of the current season before properly making a plot for a sequel.
Even still there is an idea that has been on my mind for a long time, but i need to draw an OC for it first.
Great chapter and a great end to the story.
Great story.
it was ok
8219302
an open ending, not the best election but good for making a sequel, or follow the current series.
Hold up. Stop.
Twilight and Spike can NOT both be 12. Twilight was at least 6 or so when she hatched him.
Or, if you want to go the route of "they age differently from humans," have her 4 when she hatched him, and now she's 10 (which is like 12 for humans) and he's 8 which is also comparable to 12, since dragons age really fast at first)
8256648 Sorry it was something that I missed while editing a month ago, she is currently fourteen while Spike is 12. Thanks for pointing it out
So... It's in the "Hypnosis and Mind Control" is all the fic or only some chapters?