Chapter 8: A Wedding in Ponyville Part 1
Well, today is the big day!
Laughing Stock rolled out of bed and made his way downstairs. It had been three months since Twilight accepted his marriage proposal. Ever since that wonderful evening, every waking moment had been dedicated to picking out place settings to deciding how many tiers would be on their cake. Despite messing up every wedding chore that was handed to him, Twilight continued to keep him busy. But all that was behind them, because in a few short hours, Twilight Sparkle would become a Laughing Stock.
While sitting at the kitchen table trying to solve the puzzle on the back of his cereal box, he heard a knock at the door.
“It’s open!”
Shining Armor made his way inside, all smiles as he greeted his brother in law to be.
“Hey big guy, are you ready for the first day of the rest of your life?”
“Yup.”
“You aren’t going to get cold feet and leave her waiting at the altar, are you?”
“Nope.”
The unicorn sat of the couch and watched the earth pony eat his cereal.
“Can I ask you something Shining Armor?”
“Sure, what do you want to talk about?”
“What made you change your mind?”
Taking a deep breath, the royal guard explained that a few things happened that evening got him thinking.
“When we were at the karaoke bar and-“
“I performed my brilliant rendition of Heartbreaker, and you were so moved you decided to change your mind?”
“No…as a matter of fact, I was going to kill you after that. The way Twilight looked at you while she sang that song. I have never seen her look so-“
“Attracted to a stallion before?”
“…I suppose that’s one way to put it. Then, after she opened her gift from you, I have never seen her look so happy. After all those years I spent rearing her, I was never able to bring her that level of…something wrong Laughing Stock?”
“I wished you used a different choice of words, that’s all.”
“Why, all I said was…Oh, that’s sick. I’m trying to open my heart to you and the only thing you can do is take my words out of context…I honestly will never figure out what she sees in you.”
“It’s probably the fact that I rear her.”
Shining Armor was too busy laughing to stay mad at the comedian. He joined him at the kitchen table, hoping to continue his heart to heart talk.
“Can I give you some marriage advice?”
Laughing Stock told the unicorn that any advice he had would be appreciated.
“Whatever you do, don’t change. Sometimes ponies change after they get married, and it throws the relationship out of sync. Twilight loves you for a reason, so do your best to stay true to yourself.”
Laughing Stock felt gave the royal guard a brief hug. The comedian told him that he would do his best to stay the same, even if it meant annoying the most powerful member of Princess Celestia’s royal guard.
“It’s been lovely, but I must be going. I promised Cadance that we would spend some time together today. I assume there will be other people who want to talk to you before hand as well.”
As Shining Armor faced the door to leave, something out of place caught his eye.
“Is that the frying pan that Twilight got you for Hearth Warming Day?”
“Yup.”
“Why is it on a hook by the door?”
“Oh, that’s an amusing anecdote. I let Twilight borrow my umbrella to run to the store a few weeks back, and she lost it!”
“Why would she use an umbrella? I use magic when it rains…”
“THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” The enraged comedian threw his cereal box on the table, watching the package bounce to the floor. “So now instead of letting my mane get soaked, I use the frying pan to keep dry.”
“Does that actually work?”
“It’s not the best thing to use, but it’s better than catching something.”
The white stallion left the library, leaving the black stallion alone with his thoughts. Cleaning the mess from breakfast, he couldn’t wait to see his lovely lavender unicorn.
***
“So Spike, you ready for the wedding?”
The dragon muttered something, but the comedian didn’t understand.
“Something wrong Spike?”
“No.”
“Spike...”
“Fine...I’m not ready for the wedding? Are you happy now?
Laughing Stock told the dragon he wasn’t happy, and asked to join him at the table.
“Why aren’t you ready?”
“After you two are married, you guys are going to make me leave.”
“That’s ridiculous Spike. I like having you around!”
Spike shook his head. He pulled the stallions head close so he could whisper into his ear.
“I mean, you guys are going to kick me out when you want to do…adult stuff.”
Laughing Stock chuckled at Spikes concern.
“We usually wait until you’re asleep.”
“Aw Laughing Stock, I sleep right next to the bed!”
“Come on Spike! I’m…not kidding. We do wait for you to fall asleep, but that isn’t the point. The three of us are going to be one happy family. Who knows, maybe you could find a little friend for yourself, and the two of you could wait for us to fall asleep.”
***
“Laughing Stock darling? Are you home?”
“Yeah Rarity, I’m here. What’s up?”
“I have your tuxedo, be a dear and try it on.”
The comedian laid the outfit on his bed and he dressed in front of a mirror. Rarity released a sigh as she watched the stallion change into the outfit she made.
“Something wrong Rarity?”
“No…well, yes. I can’t believe Twilight is getting married.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I never thought Twilight Sparkle would get married before me.”
Fixing his bowtie, Laughing Stock asked the white unicorn if she was jealous.
“WHAT? ME JEALOUS? Why would I be jealous of Twilight? I mean, not only is she getting married, but she’s a famous author as well. WHAT’S THERE TO BE JEALOUS ABOUT?”
“Rarity, you are a wonderful mare! You just haven’t found that very special somepony…have you tried lowering your standards?”
“What!? Why would I do such a thing?”
“Well, it worked for Twilight…”
Rarity left the chair in the living room and went upstairs to help the stallion with his cummerbund.
“I just always thought I would have a successful business, plenty of friends and a husband by now…”
Laughing Stock tried to console his friend. He gently placed his hoof on her shoulder.
“I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself. If you just let things happen naturally, everything will turn out fine. That’s what I do, and look at me. I have a successful career, a lot of friends, and a beautiful mare is about to become my wife.” Making sure Rarity was looking into his eyes, he told her to think of the positives.
“What positives?”
“Out of the three things you rattled off earlier, you have a successful business and plenty of friends. You need to realize, two out three ain’t bad. Plus, think of all the stallions that will be here today.”
Rarity placed a hoof on her chin.
“OH! I never considered meeting somepony today, that would be simply marvelous!”
The comedian asked how his blushing bride was doing.
“She is doing fantastic. She keeps asking about you…”
“Tell her that I want to see her so bad! I hate this stupid tradition, who cares if I see her before the wedding anyway?”
“I’m quite shocked to hear you say that” Rarity responded as she placed the tuxedo in the garment bag. “For somepony
who went through hell and back to get Shining Armor’s permission, I thought traditions meant a lot to you?”
“They do, just not the ones that keep me away from Twilight.”
***
Sitting in one of the library’s easy chairs, Laughing Stock tried to pass the time by reading.
“WHAT THE HAY IS THIS? This book isn’t about two ponies fishing!”
There was another knock on the door, so the comedian threw the copy of Buckleberry Finn in the corner as he answered the door.
“Rainbow Dash! What’s going on?”
“Congrats on the big day, I’m so happy for you guys!”
“Thanks Dash, I really appreciate all the support.”
The ponies made their way to the couch so they could continue their conversation.
“Maybe I’m wrong, but aren’t ponies usually engaged longer than three months?”
“Um…I guess. I mean, someponies just jump straight to the marriage. What’s your point Dash?”
“Three months doesn’t seem like enough time to get everything ready. That’s all.”
“You know Twilight, she had the entire wedding planned by the time we returned from the cabin. The only reason we waited this long was because we had to wait for the invitations and everything.”
“Oh I see…so in Twilight’s hurry, she may have forgotten something.”
The comedian laughed at the thought of Twilight making a mistake on one of her lists.
“Right, I’m sure she made a mistake. And I’m going to try out for the Wonderbolts when my honeymoon is over.
“What! You don’t even have wings! How do you expect to-“
“I was being sarcastic, Dash.”
Recognizing the sound of annoyance in the rainbow mare’s voice, the comedian asked if she was jealous of Twilight.
“No, I’m not jealous. I’m hurt!”
“What do you mean hurt? Did you have an accident while flying today?”
“NO! I mean my feelings and all that other junk are hurt.”
Laughing Stock apologized for being insensitive.
“I didn’t think you had any.”
The visibly upset mare looked at the stallion in disbelief.
“Ok…I worded that horribly. I meant, you’re RAINBOW DASH! The best flier in all Equestria, I thought you were too busy to worry about hurt feelings.”
“Well, how else am I supposed to react when my best friend doesn’t include me in the wedding?!”
“What are you talking about? You’re one of the mare’s of honor!”
“At her brother’s wedding, I did a sonic rainboom as the bride and groom kissed. DO I get asked to do one this time? NO! SHE SNUFFED ME!”
“Well Rainbow Dash, would you like do a sonic rainbow as Twilight and I make out in front of everypony?”
The rainbow mare jumped at the opportunity, thanking the stallion for allowing her to do her prized stunt on his most special day. As she flew towards the front door, she turned to the groom to be and asked one last question
“Do you really think you and Twilight are ready for the danger zone?”
“Well I…wait, what is the danger zone?”
“You know, the DANGER ZONE!”
“You’re going to have to explain that to me.”
“You know…the danger zone, the unknown. Neither of you have been married before, so this will be all new territory for the both of you.
“Oh, well I think so. I mean, it can’t be that much different than dating right?”
***
Where did I leave my cufflinks?
Laughing Stock heard another knock at the front door, so he postponed his search so he could greet the visitor.
“Pinkie! What a surprise, I thought you would be getting ready for the reception.”
“It’s all ready silly! Tables are set, decorations are up, and the ice sculpture is on display!”
“…Pinkie, we aren’t getting married for another four hours. Do you think the ice sculpture needs to be out right now?”
“Of course silly! It’s so pretty, you should let people look at it now!”
“What people? Guests aren’t supposed to arrive for another three hours!”
“And when they get here, the ice goose will greet them. Geez Laughing Stock, you need to relax. You seem really stressed.”
Mumbling something about a three thousand bit ice sculpture, the comedian returned to his search for the missing cufflinks.
“What are you doing Laughing Stock?”
“I’m looking for my cufflinks.”
Pinkie offered her assistance, and the reluctant stallion agreed. While they tore the library apart, the effervescent pink pony tried to start a conversation.
“So how long before you get Twilight knocked up?”
Laughing Stock nearly fell over.
“What are you talking about!?”
“You know, getting Twilight pregnant.”
“Not that, I know what getting knocked up means. What I-“
“How do you know? Did you knock somepony else up already?”
“No!” Laughing Stock screamed, slamming the drawer to his chifferobe. “What is your obsession with Twilight getting pregnant?”
“I just love foals! They are so cute!”
“We won’t be having foals for a while, trust me.”
“Aw, how come?”
The comedian explained to his friend that his career was still red hot, while Twilight’s new life as an author had her doing a few book signings a month.
“We wouldn’t be around too much, were would our child stay?”
The mare immediately volunteered her services.
“I love watching Pumpkin and Pound Cake! If your foal comes over, we can our own little FOAL PARTY!”
“While that sounds like fun Pinkie, I don’t think it will be happening anytime soon.”
“Is it because Twilight can’t have foals?”
The black earthpony slowly turned to stare at his pink counterpart. Words could not express what he was feeling at that moment.
“Because you know, my womb is open for business if you need a-“
Luckily for Pinkie, Rarity interrupted her sales pitch.
“Um, Pinkie darling. The beautiful goose ice sculpture is turning into an ugly duckling.”
“Oh shucks. We’ll see ya Laughing Stock, don’t forget my offer.”
Just the thought of Pinkie Pie carrying a foal that belonged to Twilight and himself was enough to make the stallion crawl under his bed, taking a moment to reassess his life up to that point.
***
“Sugar cube, ya’ll in here?”
Laughing Stock remained under the bed, he had enough of the wedding advice.
I should have eloped…WHY DIDN’T I ELOPE?
The bed skit was raised, and Applejack’s face joined the stallion in his quiet place.
“Uh, Sugar cube, what ya’ll doing down here?”
“I’m hiding from all of you.”
“Sugar, I haven’t seen you at all today. Ah don’t know what the other girls said to you, but what ah want to say comes straight from the heart, nuthin’ other than good ol’ fashioned advice.
The comedian slowly crawled out from under the bed, waiting for the orange pony to begin speaking.
“Now, I may not know a lot about relationships and all, but I do know a thing or two about responsibility. This is a huge thing you two are doing, and with it comes a lot of responsibilities. Do you understand?”
Laughing Stock nodded.
“Have you two considered the future?”
The comedian explained Pinkie had said earlier.
“She said wut now?!”
“I know…that’s why I was under the bed.”
“The thought of that is…well strange. Anyway, there is more to your future besides foals.”
“Like what?”
Applejack suggested that the married couple may want to move away in a few years.
“Why would we move?”
“Well, Canterlot makes more sense than Ponyville. Her parents live in Canterlot, along with Princess Celestia. Not to mention, both of you are from there.”
“Applejack, I-“
“Now don’t you worry about us here in Ponyville. We’ll be here when you decide to visit us!”
“I don’t plan on moving anywhere, I love Ponyville! Canterlot is awesome, but this is home to me now, and I am sure Twilight would agree.”
Applejack was all smiles after hearing this news. She told the stallion she was thrilled that they wouldn’t be leaving the small town.
***
Gee, I wonder who that could be?!
For the sixth time that day, somepony was outside the library wanting to speak to him. Trotting to the front door, he assumed it was Fluttershy, since she hadn’t spoken to him yet. Upon opening the door, he turned out to be right, but it wasn’t the Fluttershy he was used to.
“Fluttershy…are you ok?”
“Oh yes, I’m *hic* fine!”
Laughing Stock had heard stories of Fluttershy’s drunkenness, but he didn’t believe them. But there she was, an intoxicated yellow pegasus that could barley stumble inside.
“Why are you drunk Fluttershy?”
“I always *hic* cut lose at weddings. I don’t know why, everypony has their *hic* hobbies I suppose.”
“You know the wedding isn’t for a few hours, right?”
She fell on the couch and began to snore.
At least she can’t give me any advice now…oh no, who can THAT be?
The annoyed eathpony ripped the front door open.
“Vinyl Scratch! What are you doing here?”
“Hello! I’m your best mare, remember?”
The DJ wrapped her front hooves around the stallion, giving him a peck on the check.
“Congrats! I can’t believe my best friend is getting married!”
“I know right? I’m so glad you could come!”
“Anything for my…what’s that smell? It almost smells like…whisky.”
The unicorn pulled her glasses off and asked her friend if he started drinking again. Laughing Stock shook his head, pointing at the yellow lump on the couch.
“Is that Fluttershy asleep on your couch?”
“Yup.”
“Dang, girl started pre-gaming early. Is she ok?”
“I’m sure she will be, but enough about her. How have you been?”
After a few minutes of small talk, the comedian had something he had to get off his chest.
“Vinyl…I didn’t turn you into a filly fooler, did I?”
The unicorn burst out laughing, much to the earthpony’s dismay.
“You know I hate it when you laugh at my serious questions…”
“I’m sorry, but that is the silliest thing you’ve asked me in a long time. What brought this up?”
Laughing Stock explained his conversation with Shining Armor. The DJ simply chucked at his story, removing her trademark sunglasses.
“No, you didn’t turn me into a filly fooler, I was just tired of stallions. I mean, do you know how frustrating it is going through, life pleasing sompony and never feeling the pleasure returned.”
Vinyl Scratch looked away from her friend, her hoof resting against her forehead.
“You know what, now that I think about it…I’m sorry Laughing Stock, but I got to go. I’ll see you at the wedding.”
Watching his friend leave in a hurry, the comedian wondered what her problem was out loud.
“I think you definitely *hic* turned her into a filly fooler.”
Looking at Fluttershy on the couch, the earthpony wondered how long it would take to suffocate her with a throw pillow.
***
Alright, I look great! Only minutes until Twilight and I are officially-
*Knock knock*
“Oh for the love of-“
Opening the door for what seemed like the one hundredth time, the frustrated stallion opened the door.
“For the love of me, I’m assuming?”
“I’m so sorry Princess. I’ve just been having my friends stop by all day, and some of them have been…really tiresome.”
“I understand Laughing Stock. It’s almost time for the ceremony, but I wanted to share some things with you if I may.”
“Of course you can Princess! Let’s have a seat on the-“
The comedian realized that Fluttershy was still sleeping on the couch, so he offered the ruler of Equestria a seat in the kitchen.
“What’s on your mind, Princess?”
“I just wanted to say how happy I am for the both of you. I have known Twilight Sparkle since she was a filly, she is almost like a daughter to me. I think you are a great pony, and you will make her very happy.”
Laughing Stock stood on his hind legs, in order to give the alicorn ruler a hug.
“I appreciate everything you have done for me princess. Allowing Twilight and I to accompany you on your vacation is the nicest thing anypony has ever done for us. If it wasn’t for you, we might not be here today” the earth pony said, breaking the hug. “It also means the world to us that you are presiding over our wedding. Twilight and I wouldn’t have it any other way!”
Princess Celestia nodded in agreement. She reminded the pony that it was time for the ceremony to begin. With the help of Celestia’s magic, they dragged a semi comatose Fluttershy to the center of town. Laughing Stock took his place, awaiting the mare he was going to be spending the rest of his life with.
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If anyone can point out the song lyric in the story, I'll give you a cookie!
No song lyric but good chapter and frickin funny
All of them were very funny with Laughing Stock! And then Pinkie.... Really Pinkie? What the heck?! And Laughing Stock was kind of scary when he wondered how long it would take to strangle Fluttershy.
The song Danger Zone from Top gun came to mind.
I was thinking more like archer.
Funniest. Chapter. Ever.
so um ...
BROCK: Hey Guys I can turn my Trusty frying pan, Into a drying pan.
-lol im not sure if it was intentional but you referenced Pokemon
two out of three ain't bad
for the frying pan thing.
1346308 Best idea in the history of the universe.
Pinkie pie...
Sweet Celestia, these lines
Laughing Stock is now one of my favorite OCs
P.S. In the last quote, there should be a hyphen after "semi"
Drunkshy.......................
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