• Member Since 2nd Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen Apr 21st, 2017

BudCharles


16 year old Aussie nerd. Fan of MLP, Pokemon, HTTYD and a heap of other things. Mainly write Trixie stories and Scootaloo stories, because those characters are adorable >w<

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Trixie takes Twilight to a bar. It doesn't go as planned. Meanwhile, Derpy tries working two jobs.

(Yeah so I said I'd be away for a while, and I will, but I couldn't leave this idea unwritten xD I'm worried that my style didn't do it justice but hopefully that's just me being nervous for no good reason xD)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

I like it, but it seems a little rushed. If you stretched it out a little, had them talking more, maybe showing Trixie taking Twilight home, or even them trying to convince Twilight to go to the bar at all, then it could be a lot funnier. Right now it just seems like, They show up, Twilight has a drink, says Cliché (but very accurate) thing, and next morning. It's just the way the story flows. it feels like something is missing.

I did like It though, so please take a like :pinkiesmile:

Just one question. If you-know-who convinced her, then why isn't she there? That could have been a really funny moment. Perhaps getting jealous at what Twilight says? :trollestia:

Last thing. This doesn't need a sex tag.

[youtube=vI2F8cwOQIQ]

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