A Simple Misunderstanding
Nobody likes homework. Okay, maybe Twilight Sparkle, but she’s kinda weird that way. Personally, I’ve always found it tedious. I do enough schoolwork in school. I’d like to be able to relax once I get home.
At least I had good company. Rainbow’d come home with me, so we were knocking out our history essay together. There was only one problem with that: I was doing homework with Rainbow Dash. If Twilight was on one end of the spectrum, then Rainbow was at the opposite. If not for me, her other friends, and her parents all keeping an eye on her, she’d probably never do her homework and end up dropping out.
Rainbow groaned and glared down at her paper as if it had done her some grievous personal wrong. “Essays are the worst. Hey Cloud, who was that one leader? Won the battle of ... something in like, 1400?”
Way to narrow it down, Dash. I tried to get a little bit of context for the question. “What're you doing your paper on again? The Hundred Years War?”
“Yeah.” Rainbow sighed and shook her head. “You'd think a war that lasted a hundred years would be a little bit cool.”
“It’s not that boring, even if there’s a bit too much politics and backstabbing for me.” I’d always enjoyed the military side of wars more than the rest of it. Blame it on my family background. “So which battle was it? The one where all the knights got shot with arrows?”
“Sounds right,” Rainbow grunted out.
That narrowed it down a fair bit, at least. “I think you mean King Swift Archer or King Sure Shot. Were the knights going uphill and attacking their own crossbowmen, or were they getting bogged down in the mud?”
“I think there was mud. That means it was Sure Shot, right?” I nodded, and Rainbow scratched a few things down. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” I smirked and poked her in the side. “Though really, next time you could just GTS instead of bugging me.”
“GTS?” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “You’re speaking in Acronym again.”
One of the perks of being an army brat, I’m fluent in the language. “Google that ... stuff.”
Dash was versed enough in the ins and outs of Acronym to recognize the cleanup I’d just done. “Yeah, sure, ‘stuff.’ Anyway, what’re you writing yours about?”
“The War of the Roses.” Admittedly, part of why I’d picked that was the awesome TV show loosely inspired by it. Shame the real war didn’t have any dragons or ice demons. “Stupid family wars. Why couldn’t White Rose and Red Rose just work something out?”
Rainbow shrugged. “Probably ‘cause they both wanted everything for themselves. And they had a bunch of jerks manipulating everything. Like sirens, except with less rock music.” She frowned and tapped her chin. “Actually, come to think of it didn’t Sunset say they got banished to here thousands of years ago? For all we know, they were stirring up all kinds of trouble.”
There was a line of thought I was a lot happier not exploring. The Sirens had been bad enough when they were just a bunch of mind-controlling singers. The idea of them touching off wars and massacres was ... yeah. “Anyway, just about done with my paper. How’s yours coming?”
“Uh....” Rainbow showed me her essay. Or, to be more accurate, she showed me a blank sheet of paper with her name and the words ‘King Swift Archer’ written on the first line.
I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised. “Want me to just take care of it for you?”
Rainbow scowled and pulled her paper back. “No .... I just want it to be done. I hate essays. At least with stuff like math you have the problem all written out to solve. With papers, it’s just a blank sheet staring up at me. Mocking me...”
I gave her a reassuring pat on the back. “Shame you can’t super-speed through it.”
“Ugh, no kidding.” She sighed and shook her head. “One of the first things I tried when I found out I had magic. Turns out that when you type at over a thousand words a minute it fries your keyboard, and writing super-fast just rips up the paper.”
“Bit of a problem.” I saw an opening that was just too good to resist. “Plus, there’s the fact that while your body might go at super speed, your brain doesn’t.” I grinned and poked her in the ribs. “That’s still moving along as the same old pace it always did. Slooooow.”
Rainbow snorted, flopping back on my bed. “Hey, compared to me, your mind is so slow that it’s actually going backwards.”
I settled down across from her, grinning. “Then why am I done with my homework before you’ve even started?”
“Because you’re not doing awesome stuff like me,” she countered.
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Rainbow, we’ve both been in my bedroom since we got out of school. Exactly what ‘awesome stuff’ were you doing?”
Rainbow huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I came up with three new offensive plans for soccer, football, and lacrosse, plus a new strategy for water polo.”
“But no homework,” I pointed out.
“Yeah, well...” She picked up one of my pillows and smacked me with it. “Shut up, Kicker.”
I quickly made sure none of our homework was in the battlezone, then armed myself to retaliate. “It’s on now!” I feinted low, then went high and hammered a blow onto the top of her head. Rainbow grunted, then rolled away before I could follow up on my initial success.
Her counterattack came fast and fierce. She wasn’t using her magical superspeed, but she didn’t need that to be quicker than me. However, Rainbow had never been the most tactical of fighters. Instead of planning her attacks out, she was just bombarding me with pillow strikes to try and overwhelm me. However, she had to wind up for each attack, while I knew how to use a defensive stance that let me block with minimal movement. The fact that Rainbow massively telegraphed her attacks helped a lot too. She still got a couple hits in, but nothing I couldn’t tank and push through.
Finally, I saw my chance to turn defense into offense. Rainbow overextended one of her attacks, and instead of outright blocking it, I deflected it down and to the side, knocking her pillow even further out of position. “You’re wide open!” I took advantage of that with my own pillow, slamming her right in the face.
Rainbow reeled back, stunned by my attack. However, she wasn’t going to let me win that easily. She opted for a radical shift in strategy, dropping her weapon and tackling me around the stomach, slamming my back onto the mattress. Once I was down she re-armed herself, raining blow after blow down upon my crumbling defenses.
I knew I had to get out, so I took a chance. I locked my legs around her midsection, then heaved her over. I followed the movement, so that instead of being trapped beneath her I was mounted on top. She smacked me a couple more times with her pillow before I managed to grab her wrists, leaning across her body to pin her arms over her head. The move left the two of us facing each other, mere inches separating us.
Suddenly, I was intensely aware of just how close I was to Rainbow. How much we were touching each other. How warm and soft her skin was, and how cute she looked when she was breathing heavily and had just a hint of a blush on her cheeks.
The same thoughts must have been going through her head, because her lips met mine halfway. We dropped our pillows, and the grapple holds quickly turned into an embrace. After what felt like entirely too little time, I reluctantly broke the kiss. “Um ... we should probably finish up our homework before...”
Rainbow slowly nodded, scooting away from me. “Yeah ... plus your Mom’s home, and your sisters.” She ran a hand through her hair, trying to fix where I’d mussed it. “S’always ... we can do stuff like that later.”
“Exactly.” I got off the bed and moved back to my chair, just to prevent any temptation. As I watched her struggle to get started on her essay, I saw a chance to move the conversation to safer territory. “So how come you don’t want me helping with your homework as much as I used to? Back in middle school you were always asking if you could copy off me.” Thankfully, whenever I’d let her we’d had enough sense to avoid the common pitfalls of copying. Plus she caught a couple mistakes I’d made, so it helped my grades too. Rainbow’s problem with homework wasn’t understanding the material, just not having the patience to do all of it.
“Well yeah, but that was middle school.” Rainbow glowered down at her essay and shook her head. “It’s different now, especially since we started being ... us. I don't want to, y'know, owe you.”
I sighed patiently. “Dash, we don’t keep track of that kind of thing. I know I didn’t before we hooked up, and I don’t see any reason to start now. I help you because I like helping you, not because I care about who helps who the most.”
“I know, but...” She trailed off uncertainly, running a hand through her hair. “I dunno. It just feels like now that we’re dating things are kinda different. Like ... like it’s okay for my awesome gal pal to help me, but s’different when it’s my girlfriend who’s helping me.”
I frowned, trying to figure out what was bothering her. “Dash, you do stuff for me all the time.”
“Yeah but that's different,” she insisted.
“I don't see how.” I shrugged. “I help you, you help me, it’s all good.”
“It’s...” One of her hands waved vaguely through the air as she struggled for the right words. “Like, I don’t mind when it’s you helping me out during a soccer game or something, ‘cause we’re always helping each other out. But in all the time we’ve been friends, have you ever asked me to help you with your homework? Do you think you ever will?”
“Um...” I tried to come up with a diplomatic way to answer that question, or at least a lie that was plausible enough to pass muster.
My hesitation wound up answering the question before I could get any words out. “Exactly.” Rainbow nodded grimly. “And now it’ll be like you’re only helping me ‘cause we’re dating or something. Or I’m getting you to help me by ... doing stuff.”
I groaned and rubbed my forehead. “Rainbow, that’s ridiculous. I’ve helped you for as long as we’ve been friends, because that’s what friends do. It doesn’t have anything to do with us dating, and I’d still be doing the exact same thing if we were just friends.”
“Yeah, but...” She ran a hand down her face. “It’s just different, okay?”
There wasn’t much I could say to that: no amount of logical arguing could change how Rainbow felt. Emotions just don’t work that way. “Right, got it.” I smiled to let her know there were no hard feelings. “Not the end of the world. Besides, I bet Twilight and Sunset would make a big fuss if I did all your homework for you.”
“Yeah, that too.” She pitched her voice up to a mild mockery of Twilight’s “If you don’t do your homework then you won't be ready for the pop quiz, and then you’ll be working uphill for the next big test! Then you’ll get a bad grade on your report card, which will result in your GPA going down, and then you’ll never get into a good college! Without a good college you won’t get a good job, and then you’ll be miserable forever!“
“I think you’re exaggerating a little.” Granted, I didn’t know Twilight all that well, since she was still pretty new at school and not much of a socializer. In any case, I could understand where she was coming from—the good military academies were all pretty picky. I don’t think Rainbow even cared about college, beyond hoping she’d get a good athletic scholarship, and that it would be somewhere she could stay with her friends.
I watched Rainbow struggle with her essay for a bit longer, wishing there was something I could do to help. I couldn’t fault her for wanting to do it on her own, but ... well part of me had to wonder if she could do it on her own. Rainbow’s never been good at schoolwork—back before I helped her in middle school, a couple teachers thought she might have a learning disability. I’m not sure if it was that, or if she just didn’t have the right personality for schoolwork. All I knew was that she was struggling, and I couldn’t help her. And that sucked.
After she’d started her essay a dozen times and left a dozen crumpled up sheets of paper on the floor, she groaned and threw her pen and notebook to the side. “Okay, this is going nowhere. Maybe we could take a break for a bit?”
“Sounds good to me.” I tried to throw a little encouragement her way. “Sometimes getting away from it for a bit will let you start back fresh.”
“I’ll take what I can get.” Rainbow got up and stretched, and I had a hard time not noticing how nice it looked. She caught me noticing and smirked.
“Snack break?” I suggested.
Rainbow grinned. “Now that’s a plan I can get behind.”
“Fridge raid it is, then.” The two of us headed downstairs, finding the kitchen deserted. Dad was working late and Sparkler was working on a group project with Star, so Mom had left me and Alula to make do with leftovers, frozen food, and whatever else we could scrounge up.
Rainbow poked through the fridge, trying to find something she’d like. “Let’s see ... soda, frozen burritos, corndogs, lunch meat, leftover casserole, milk, eggs ... ooh, frozen pizza.” She pulled it out, then grinned. “Wait ... is this stuffed crust pizza with bacon stuffed into the crust along with the cheese? That’s the coolest thing ever!”
“There’s only one way to make it cooler.” I pulled out a couple strips of bacon. “Put more on it.”
I was about to get on that when Mom loudly cleared her throat. “I hope you plan on leaving me enough to make breakfast tomorrow.” She stepped into the kitchen, quickly inspecting the area to make sure we hadn’t made a mess. “How’s your homework coming?”
“I’m just about done.” I answered, leaving out Rainbow’s current lack of progress. “Just need to proofread my paper, and I can do that after food.”
Mom nodded, then frowned and looked both of us over. After a couple seconds of that I started shuffling, trying to find something to check my reflection on. If she was looking at me like that, there had to be something out of place. Maybe she could tell Rainbow and I had played around a bit when we were supposed to be studying?
Finally she nodded again, not saying anything, so I guess I must have passed the test. She stepped past me, and reached into the open fridge, pulling out one of her favorite micro-brews. She opened it up and took a sip, the paused to shoot a pointed look at us, holding up her bottle. “I just checked, and seven of these are left. I expect there to be seven when Rainbow leaves.”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “I’m not that dumb, Mom.” I knew she watched her beer supply like a hawk—she kinda had to with three teenagers in the house.
“Just making sure everyone was clear on that.” She paused and shot both of us a wry grin. “And since you’re so smart, I trust you’re also smart enough to keep the bedroom door open from now on?”
I groaned, and I could feel my cheeks warming up. Rainbow didn’t look much better. “Mooom!”
Mom responded with a single raised eyebrow and a sip of her beer. “Yes?”
“We're not ... that’s not...” I groaned and buried my face in my hands, trying to get the blushing under control. “We’re doing homework!”
“What she said!” Rainbow chimed in.
“I believe you,” Mom assured us. “But I was also young once.” Her eyes narrowed, and her tone made it clear the discussion was over. “The door stays open.”
“Fine,” I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest. “Doesn’t matter, it’s not like we were doing anything anyway.”
“Thank you.” She probably would’ve left it at that, but then Rainbow grumbled something under her breath. What I caught of it was ... less than complimentary. Mom slowly turned to face her, fixing my girlfriend with a pointed look. “I beg your pardon?”
“Nothin’,” Rainbow mumbled, not quite able to meet Mom’s eyes.
I didn’t want trouble, so took Rainbow’s hand and gently tugged her away. “C'mon, Dash. We can get some more work in while the pizza’s in the oven.” I’d been planning to relax while our pizza was in the oven, but I didn’t think we could do any of that with Mom hovering around. Especially since on top of her usual disapproval of us having fun when she should be working, she’d probably do stuff like insist we not sit too close together on the couch.
As the two of us headed back to my room, Mom called out after us, “I’ll bring your pizza once it’s done.” She paused, looking at the sheer amount of bacon we had on our pizza, then amended, “Most of it. There will be a one slice fee for cutting and delivering it.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Rainbow and I trudged back upstairs. If I hadn’t been distracted by dealing with Mom, I probably would’ve noticed that my bedroom door was wide open, even though I’d closed it behind us when we left. Instead, I had no warning until I ran into an invisible field blocking the doorway. “The hell?!”
Rainbow had been right behind me and didn’t manage to stop in time. The collision sent me right back through the doorway, ripping through the transparent plastic wrap some enterprising little prankster had decided to spread across the opening. As I picked myself up off the floor, I heard poorly stifled giggles coming from the next room.
I groaned and pulled off the plastic wrap. “This is what I get for having little sisters.”
Rainbow snickered as she helped me up. “Surprised she got it set up while we were down in the kitchen—kid must’ve planned this one out.” She smirked, then pitched her voice to make sure my bratty little sister could hear her. “Of course, now that she’s gotten us, we have to get her back. It’s the Prankster Code.”
The badly concealed laughter abruptly cut off, and a second later a gangly collection of yellow limbs topped with messy purple hair shot out of the bedroom next to mine. Clearly someone didn’t want to get what was coming to her.
I grinned at Rainbow. “Cut her off.”
Rainbow nodded, and a second later disappeared in a multicolored flash. She dropped out of superspeed in front of Alula, blocking her line of retreat. My little sis reversed course, but by that point I had cut her off from her bedroom. She was stuck in the hallway, with nowhere to run.
“Uh...” Alula’s eyes darted between the two of us as she realized she was busted. “Sparky made me do it!”
“Riiiight.” Rainbow frowned down at her, then turned to me. “Do we believe her, Cloud?”
“Hmm.” I closed in on the little brat, stroking my chin as I pretended to think it over. “I can believe Sparks was involved, but I doubt 'Lula's innocent. You heard her laughing.” I snagged the back of her shirt to make sure she wouldn’t try anything. “First lesson of being a prankster: you either cover up good enough that nobody knows it was you, or you take your lumps after you get caught.” I shifted my grip to wrap an arm around her, pinning her in place. “Oh, and don’t forget the sibling pecking order. Ever. This’ll help you remember that.” With my sister immobilized, I proceeded to noogie her as relentlessly as she deserved for her brattiness.
“Ack!” Alula whined and tried to squirm her way free, but I had her locked down. She wasn’t getting away until she’d learned her lesson. “Cloudyyy, nooo! Quit it!” When I made it clear I would do nothing of the sort, she resorted to the next weapon in her arsenal. “I’ll tell Mom!”
“Tell me what?” Mom stood at the bottom of the staircase, looking at all three of us with her arms folded across her chest. “That doesn’t sound like studying.”
“Alula pranked us, I’m just getting payback,” I explained. “Totally valid.”
“Mooom!” Alula whimpered as I continued extracting sibling justice on her scalp. “Help!”
Mom chuckled and shook her head. “What comes around goes around, Little Wing.” She let me carry on for a couple more seconds. “However, I think you’ve gotten enough payback, Cloud. You still have homework to do, as does your sister.”
“Fine.” I released the brat, who grumbled and rubbed at her abused scalp. “As long as you get Sparky for me, and we’ll be even.”
Alula scampered over to her room, then paused and smirked at me. “She didn’t have anything to do with it, I got ya on my own!” She shut and locked the door before I could chase her down.
Rainbow snickered. “Clever kid.”
“Don’t encourage her,” I warned Dash. “My little sisters are bad enough on their own. Storm and I really need to team up sometime to properly crush their spirits and firmly enforce the sibling pecking order.”
Rainbow shot a half-serious frown my way. “Hey, I like Sparkler and Alula.”
I sighed and shook my head. “I love ‘em to death, they’re my sisters. That just doesn’t change the fact that I must also utterly destroy them to enforce my supremacy.” Rainbow stared at me as if I’d grown a second head. “It’s a sibling thing.”
Mom pointedly cleared her throat, her eyes flicking to my bedroom, where our homework was waiting. We took the hint and headed back into my room, leaving the door open.
Rainbow shrugged. “You and your sisters are weird. Kinda makes me glad I’m an only child.”
There were times I envied her. Usually whenever Alula and Sparkler were being especially bratty. “Nice moves with the super-speed. Hope you didn't melt your shoes this time.”
“Nah, that only happens when I go real fast for a long time.” Despite that, she checked her shoes to make sure. “Socks might smell a bit, though.
I snickered and poked her in the ribs. “Oh come on, that was a problem before you got magic. I shared a locker room with you, I know this stuff.”
“Oh yeah?” Rainbow pulled off her shoe and sock, then brandished the latter. “Then this won’t bother you at all!”
“Gah!” I recoiled from the toxic waste she was threatening me with. In all seriousness, her sock wasn’t all that stinky, but why let a few inconvenient facts get in the way of messing around? “No using biological weapons, Rainbow! That’s a war crime!”
“I’ll war crime you!” Rainbow play-tackled me, shoving her dirty sock into my face. “Smell it! Smell it until it makes you sick!”
I put up a token struggle, but I saw no harm in letting her have her fun. However... “Rainbow, you do realize that you’re threatening me with your stinky feet to get back at me for saying you have stinky feet, right? Your method of attack implicitly admits that I’m right.”
“Yeah, well...” Rainbow reached down and slipped a hand past my waistline, then grabbed my underwear to apply a very enthusiastic wedgie.
“Whoa!” Alright, no more Miss Nice Cloud. It was time to break out my ultimate weapon—that ticklish spot I’d found on Rainbow’s stomach. I ghosted my fingers across her belly, but all that got was a little giggle. Probably because her shirt was in the way. Fortunately for me, Rainbow has never once in her life tucked in her shirt, so getting underneath it to reach her vulnerable, unprotected tummy was child’s play.
“Kicker!” Rainbow whined as best she could through her giggles. “Cut it out. You’re gonna—”
Rainbow abruptly cut herself off, her eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. I was about to ask what was wrong when Mom pointedly cleared her throat. I slowly turned around to see her holding two plates of pizza and glowering down both of us.
It was at that point that I realized that Rainbow and I were both flushed, mussed, tangled up together, my hand was halfway up her shirt, and her hand was in my pants. Both of us withdrew as quickly and stealthily as I could, but I’m pretty sure Applejack would’ve said something about shutting the barn door after the horse had already left.
Mom slowly and calmly set our food down. “Explain.”
“It’s not what it looks like,” I squeaked out. A second later I wanted to smack myself for falling back on one of the lamest, most tired excuses in the book. “We were just messing around, and her stomach’s ticklish so...”
Mom’s frown deepened, and she crossed her arms over her chest, unleashing the Disapproving Mom Look. I had a lot of experience being on the receiving end of that, and it’s never fun. She didn’t say anything—she didn’t need to. That look was more than enough.
Rainbow swooped in to support me. “Come on, we had the door open, and we knew you’d be up in a bit with pizza. Do you really think we’re dumb enough to start ... doing stuff when it’s obvious we’d get caught?”
“If you were thinking about it, no.” Mom’s eyes narrowed. “But when I was your age, I didn’t always think things through. I know for a fact Cloud is the same way, and I’m reasonably confident in saying the same about you, young lady.”
“Jerk,” Rainbow grumbled, not-quite-as-quietly as she should have.
Mom grunted. “Do I need to call your parents to let them know they need to come pick you up, and explain exactly why they need to do so?”
Rainbow flinched, her eyes flicking down and to the side. Dash’s parents were generally pretty cool, but I didn’t think they were laid back enough to be okay with Mom calling them up and saying she’d caught us in flagrante. Especially since Rainbow wouldn’t have a chance to tell her side of the story.
Satisfied that she’d made her point, Mom moved on. “Living room. I think it’s time we had a discussion about what sort of behavior is and isn’t acceptable under my roof.”
I could already tell this was gonna be less of a discussion and more of Mom telling us how things were going to be. As she marched us downstairs, I leaned over and carefully whispered to Rainbow. “Get outta here. You have super-speed.”
Rainbow shook her head. “You really think I’m gonna run out on you?”
Should’ve known better than to suggest that. Rainbow’s loyal to a fault. “That’s sweet. Kinda stupid, but sweet.”
Despite our dire peril, Rainbow cracked a little half-smile. “Shuddup.”
We got to the living room, and I sat on the couch with Rainbow. Mom cleared her throat again, and we both scooted to opposite ends of the sofa. Once she was satisfied that we were at an appropriately puritanical distance from each other, she got started. “Now then, I think I’ve been very reasonable in allowing Rainbow to spend time here, because I trusted the two of you to behave in a responsible manner. If the two of you insist on abusing that trust—”
I couldn’t let that pass unchallenged. “We weren’t doing anything, Mom!”
“Yeah, we were just goofing around,” Rainbow chimed in.
“You’ve already disrespected me by breaking my rules and taking advantage of my trust,” Mom growled at us. “Don’t make things worse for yourselves by also thinking I’m stupid enough to fall for that story.”
“It’s not a story!” I snapped at her. “Maybe instead of getting mad and yelling at us, could you actually listen to what we’re saying? I’m telling you, nothing happened.”
My words went in one ear and out the other. “I know what I saw, Cloud. If you want me to listen to you, stop lying to me.”
“I’m not lying!” Why was she being like this? It wasn’t fair!
Mom didn’t say anything, she just met my gaze levelly and dared me to say one more word. I kept my mouth shut, not so much because I was scared as because I knew it wouldn’t do any good. Mom had already made up her mind about what Rainbow and I had been doing, and nothing I could say would change it.
When Rainbow and I had both stayed quiet for a long time, Mom sighed softly, getting out of her chair and going to the kitchen. She came back a bit later with a soda for each of us, and another beer for herself. Once she opened her mouth, I saw why she’d wanted another beer. “I suppose there's no time like the present to a talk about safe sex...”
I groaned and buried my face in the couch. “MOOOM!”
Rainbow shrank down in her seat. “We already talked about that at school. And it doesn’t matter anyway, ‘cause we weren’t having sex!”
Mom hit me with a question I’d never, ever wanted to hear from her. “So that means you’re still a virgin?”
The question caught me so off-guard that I hesitated before answering. Under the circumstances, hesitating was pretty much the same as confessing. I suppose one could argue that I still was by some technical definitions of the term, but...
Mom’s eyes narrowed, and then she laid down the law. “You’ll be doing your studying out in the living room from now on, and you won’t be spending any more time together outside adult supervision. Cloud, you’ll be coming home directly from school or soccer practice from now on. Rainbow, I’ll be calling your parents to discuss what we’ll do about this ... situation.”
Rainbow groaned and buried her face in her hands. “I’m dead.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Mom was totally ruining my life! She was all but forcing me to break things off with Rainbow, and all because of something I hadn’t even done! “Gee, thanks for believing and trusting me, Mom. It’s nice how you don’t just totally ignore what I say and boss me around.”
Mom’s eyes narrowed. “Thank you for volunteering to mow the lawn this Saturday, Cloud.”
“Hey, she’s got a point,” Rainbow cut in. “You can’t just punish her more for pointing out how dumb you’re being!”
I couldn’t believe her. Did she think that just ‘cause she was my Mom, she could treat me like a slave? “This is bullshit!”
Mom got up from her chair, looming over me. “I’m going to give you five seconds to apologize.”
Like hell I was going to apologize for calling her out on her crap. It was past time someone did it, and it felt good to finally let it all out. “Why are you being such a bitch?!”
Mom’s eyes widened and her teeth clenched. “Cloud, go to your room. You’re grounded until further notice.”
Did she really think throwing more bullshit rules my way was gonna do any good? I had my mouth halfway open to let her know exactly where could shove her rules when I felt Rainbow hand on my shoulder, gently restraining me. “Kicker,” she whispered. “Chill, or you’ll make things worse for both of us.”
I wanted to tear into Mom some more. I really wanted to ... but not if it got Rainbow in trouble. I closed my eyes and took a couple deep breaths. “Fine.” I got up from the couch, not because Mom told me to, but because I wanted to.
I headed for my room, but as I started up the stairs I couldn’t resist pausing for one last parting shot. “I wish you were dead.”
I didn’t say one word to Mom at breakfast the next day, and after suffering through school Rainbow and I headed out to Applejack’s farm so she could practice her magic. Mom would doubtless be pissed that I wasn’t coming straight home, but I as far as I was concerned that was just a bonus.
AJ’s farm was just about perfect for Rainbow to practice her magic. Plenty of wide open space for her to run around in, and isolated enough that we could contain the damage if anything went wrong. Applejack had set aside one of the farm’s fallow fields for all of her friends to practice with their new magical powers—Pinkie must have been by recently, because there were several dozen fresh craters. I admit, the idea of Pinkie having explosion powers was mildly terrifying.
Rainbow was out in the middle of the field, running around in circles. We’d spent our lunch break doing research on how her powers might work, which is a fancy way of saying we read a lot of comic books where the characters had super-speed. Sure, that method did cause some problems like when Rainbow fried her keyboard, but it had also given us a couple really good ideas. After going through an old Power Girls issue where Fillisecond had created a tornado with her superspeed, Rainbow had been inspired to see if she could do the same thing. Thus, her running around in circles. So far, all she’d managed to do was make herself dizzy.
My phone buzzed, and after a quick check confirmed that it was just another message from Mom, probably chewing me out for not being home yet, I shut it off. Watching Rainbow run around in circles was getting a little old, and without my phone to occupy my attention my eyes started wandering. That’s how I spotted Applejack heading our way on her family’s ATV. She drew the vehicle to a halt next to me, then pulled a cooler off the back. “Howdy, Cloud. Watchin’ Rainbow do her thing?”
“Nah, I was just fascinated by your empty field, but Dash keeps blocking my view.” My eyes flicked to the cooler. “Please tell me you have something that’s not apple or apple-based in there.”
AJ chuckled. “No such luck, sugarcube.”
“Figures.” I didn’t have anything against apples, but I had to wonder how Applejack’s family didn’t go insane from eating them all the time. I like a little more variety in my diet.
I flopped back in the grass, staring up at the sky. After a couple seconds AJ set down the cooler, then took a seat next to me. “You alright, Cloud? You’re awful quiet—you two’re usually thick as thieves when you’re out here helping Rainbow play with her powers. You two ain’t havin’ troubles, are ya?”
“What? Nah, Rainbow and I are tight as ever.” I glanced over, and spotted Applejack’s unconvinced frown. The last thing I wanted was her butting into our relationship, so I decided to spill the beans. “It’s family stuff. Got into a fight with my mom last night. I’m technically supposed to be grounded, but...” I shrugged, letting her know exactly how much I cared about what my Mom had to say.
Applejack grimaced and nodded sympathetically. “Sorry to hear that. Ain’t never fun getting into it with your family. Mind if Ah ask...?”
I didn’t see any point in hiding it, and Aunt Wind always said that talking about your problems helped. “Mom caught me and Rainbow goofing around, and thought we were ... doing something more than just wrestling.”
“Oh.” Applejack shifted uncomfortably, her eyes flicking between me and Rainbow. “Ah take it y’all weren’t, then?”
“No.” I could hear a bit of a growl in my voice—just thinking about what had happened last night was making me mad again. “I tried to tell her that, but she didn't listen to me. Then she started going on about how I was grounded and she was gonna call Rainbow’s parents and make sure I didn’t ever get to be alone with her, and I ... well you can guess the rest.”
Applejack frowned. “So she figured you did something, wouldn’t listen when you said you didn’t, then came down on you like a ton of bricks? Can’t say Ah blame ya for gettin’ mad.” She shrugged, then cracked open the cooler. “Want a cider?”
“Sure.” I hesitated a moment, then asked. “Non-alcoholic, right?”
“Yep.” Applejack snorted and shook her head. “Granny would tan mah hide if Ah tried to sneak any of the hard stuff.”
“I bet.” I took the offered bottle and popped the top, taking a long sip. “Reminds me, Mom gave us a hard time about that too.” I pitched my voice to a mockery of hers, wagging a finger lecturingly. “‘There are seven beers left in the fridge, and I expect there to still be seven at the end of the evening.’” It’s not like I’d ever stolen one of her beers. Granted, I hadn’t snitched on Sparkler the one time she did, but that was a onetime thing because I’d owed the brat one for helping with the whole mess with Blossom.
Applejack chuckled. “Yeah, Mac said somethin’ similar last time all the gals came by for a sleepover.” She paused a moment, then amended, “Hope ya don’t mind that we haven’t invited ya to one of those, but...”
I waved her off. “Yeah, it’d make things a bit weird with me and Dash being a couple.” Besides, while I liked Rainbow’s other magical buddies just fine, we were more friendly with each other than actual friends.
Applejack chuckled and shook her head. “No offense, but it kinda would. If nothin’ else, sleeping arrangements would be a whole can of worms Ah don’t wanna open. Not to mention Ah can’t see your parents or hers bein’ too wild about ya’ll havin’ sleepovers, especially not after...” She trailed off awkwardly, then shook her head. “They just don't want to see us doin' something stupid, you know? S’why your ma jumped on ya like that.”
“I guess, yeah.” I groaned and flopped back down on the grass, spilling some of my cider in the process. “But if she'd just listened to me...”
Applejack frowned and caught my bottle to prevent any more apple product from going to waste. “Have ya tried just sitting down an’ talkin’ with her?”
“What’s the point?” I stared listlessly up at the clouds. “I can’t talk to her when she never listens to anything I say. Once I was done talking she’d just ignore whatever I said, then order me around like I was one of her little tin soldiers.”
“Think you oughta try anyway,” Applejack insisted. “Maybe once you’ve simmered down a little. Reckon you’re both a little too sore with each other right now. She’s still your ma, an’ you’re still her little girl. That has to mean something to both of y’all, and Ah can’t imagine her ignorin’ you completely.”
“Easy to say when you don't know my mom,” I grumbled.
Applejack sighed patiently. “Yeah, she didn’t listen to you before because she saw everything wrong an’ jumped to a conclusion. Ain’t like she’s the only one to ever do that.” She chuckled softly, shaking her head. “Reminds me of that time we had trouble with the tractor, an’ Granny kept goin’ on about how the problem was that Mac didn’t replace the hydraulic fluid when he should’ve. Even after the mechanic fixed and told her it weren’t nothing to do with the hydraulics, about all she budged was to say that even if that weren’t what broke it this time, he still needed to change the fluid.”
I snickered. “Okay, that actually is kinda funny.” My good humor didn’t last as my mind went back to my problems. “It’s just ... it’s not fair.”
Applejack pulled her legs up against her chest, then wrapped her arms around them. Her voice seemed a lot less ... cheerful energetic country girl. “Life rarely is.”
I frowned at her. “What's wrong?”
Applejack waved my concerns away. “Nothin’.” She paused, then amended. “Nothin’ your fault, anyways. Just thinking, at least you still got parents to talk to.”
I flinched as I remembered exactly who I was talking to. “Oh dammit, I didn’t even think about...” I groaned and buried my face in my hands. “Wow, I must sound so self-centered and petty to you.” I couldn’t help but remember the last thing I’d said to Mom—I’m pretty sure Applejack would’ve smacked me upside the head if she knew about that. “Sorry, didn't mean to reopen old wounds.”
Applejack shook her head. “Weren’t like you meant to. It’s an old sore spot, but it ain’t like Ah’m gonna break down sobbin’ every time someone else mentions they got parents that ain’t dead.” She grimaced and shook her head. “Anyway, wanna do something instead of sittin’ around mopin’? Dunno about you, but whenever Ah’ve got too much on my mind, Ah like to find some work to do until Ah ain’t thinkin’ about what’s botherin’ me anymore.”
“Sounds like you’re just trying to talk me into giving you some free farmwork.” Despite my obligatory cynicism, the idea of actually doing something sounded better than just sitting around brooding. “What did you have in mind?”
Applejack grinned at me. “Got somethin’ right up your alley, actually. We got some critters messing with our crops, and Dad’s old varmint rifle hasn’t been used since he was around to use it. Reckon you could clean it up and sight it in?”
“Sure thing.” Thanks to all the army brat training, I could do that kinda thing in my sleep. “Certainly beats most of the farmwork you could throw my way.”
Applejack smirked at me. “Not a fan of hard work? Shoulda known, what with you bein’ tight with Rainbow.”
I rolled my eyes and briefly considered using one of Rainbow’s teasing nicknames for her. “I don’t mind working, it’s just that I’ve been doing gun maintenance since I was old enough to be trusted with one, and it doesn’t involve manure. Two big points in favor of that.”
Applejack snorted. “Can't argue with that. Muckin’ out the stalls is usually saved for whoever’s on Granny’s shit list.” She snickered at her own joke, then led me back to the house.
I followed along. “We’ll wanna set up somewhere a long way away from where Rainbow’s practicing. Especially since I just know she’s going to want to try something stupid with bullets someday. Way too many movies and comics with superspeed people dodging them, snatching them out of midair, that kinda stuff.”
Applejack groaned and shook her head. “Can’t say you’re wrong about that. Don’t worry, she ain’t doin’ some thick-skulled thing like that on mah farm.”
“Damn right she’s not.” I may love her to bits, but if she ever tried something like that I’d kick her cute little butt. I put the matter from my mind as Applejack brought out an old but well-maintained rifle. Looked like a .22LR with plain iron sight—like she’d said, a varmint rifle.
I made sure the magazine and chamber were empty, then got to work on cleaning it. The job went pretty quick; from the slightly musty smell, the gun had probably been stored in a proper case instead of just propped up in a corner somewhere. Despite that, I didn’t cut any corners.
Once that was taken care of, it was time to handle the sights. “You got anywhere that’d be good for doing some shooting?”
Applejack nodded. “Got a nice little spot in the valley that oughta do the job. Did a quick look online, and it said havin’ a hill behind your target range is a good idea. Was fixin’ to try the thing out for myself, but Ah ain’t gonna complain about lettin’ an expert get things set up for me.”
“I wouldn’t call myself an expert, just proficient.” Though I suppose several years of practical experience did put me a bit above Applejack and whatever she could find on the internet. Even if the information was solid, there’s a big difference between reading about something and actually doing it.
I hopped onto Applejack’s ATV, and she took us out into the woods. Just like she’d promised, there was a nice big hill behind the shooting range she’d set up, with several trees that had cheap paper targets tacked to them. As far as rustic shooting ranges went, it was a pretty good setup.
“Nice place.” I eyeballed the distances, then picked a good spot. “What distance you want it sighted at?”
Applejack quickly checked her phone. “About fifty meters, Ah’d say.”
“Got it.” I made a few quick adjustments to the sights. “Once you get used to it you could maybe walk the sight out to seventy five, but past that things get iffy as long as you’re using standard ammo. And in any case, most of the critters you’d use a gun like this on would be pretty hard to spot from that far away.”
“Exactly,” Applejack agreed. “Oh, and don’t say nothin’ about this to Fluttershy. I asked her about helping out with this, but she wasn’t exactly ... well, her stance is that I shouldn’t get so upset about our crops getting chewed up ‘cause the animals are hungry, even if it means they’re gonna eat my family outta house and home.”
“Our secret,” I promised her. “I guess she couldn’t use her magic to make them move?”
Applejack frowned and shook her head. “Nah, she can’t force them to do something they don’t wanna. Or she just doesn’t believe in forcin’ instead of askin’. Same thing, really. Not all the critters wanted to leave when they’ve got all my food for the eatin’, and all the predators steer clear of mah farm.”
I nodded along, though I wasn’t too eager to take sides in the dispute. I sympathized with Applejack, but I’d gone to middle school with Fluttershy. Her heart was in the right place, even if she took it a little far sometimes. I don’t think my stomach had ever fully forgiven her for the time she took me to that one vegan restaurant—that soybean ruben had sat in my stomach like a brick for over a week.
I finished adjusting the sights, and once I was sure they were good I finally loaded the gun. As I checked the area surrounding my target and lined everything up, I took a couple deep breaths to calm down and get into the right mood for shooting. Concentrate. Don’t concern yourself with anything but the gun, the target, and everything in a line connecting the two.
Right as my finger slowly tightened on the trigger, Applejack’s voice cut through my concentration. “Um, Cloud? You might oughta—”
Whatever she was about to say next vanished thank to the sharp crack of the rifle firing. A .22 isn’t especially loud, but it was still enough to make whatever she was about to say next vanish. Plus, it was a moot point after I took the shot.
I stared at the target, my jaw slack. I couldn’t tell how accurate my shot had been, because the paper target Applejack had attached to the tree was in tatters. The tree itself had a pretty big chunk missing from it, too.
Applejack stared at the huge hole I’d left behind. “Cloud, what did you do?! Ah tried to tell ya, the gun was glowin’ right before ya pulled the trigger!”
“What?” I stared down at the rifle, noticing quite a bit of smoke coming off of it for having only fired a single shot. “I don’t know what happened! I just ... it’s a normal rifle. Unless you got bullets made out of depleted uranium or something.”
“Ah don’t think they sell those at the Wal-Mart,” she deadpanned. “What just happened? That’s nothing but a peashooter an’ you did ... that! Don’t make no sense, unless Pinkie’s pulling some crazy kinda prank on us.”
I hesitantly picked up the rifle again, aiming at one of the intact targets. When I started concentrating on my target, I quickly shifted my attention back to the gun itself. Just like Applejack had said, it was glowing with a deep purple aura.
“I don’t think it’s Pinkie doing it,” I stared down at the gun, trying to wrap my head around the only insanity unfolding around us. “I think it’s me.”
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This is even better than I thought it would be! XD. Also, nice bit with the "I wish you were dead" line. If only she knew......
All this talk of Dash's parents has me wondering how they work in this worldline. She may have two mothers, but she definitely doesn't have two biological ones.
Also, good to see Cloud's friends and friends-of-friends interceding before the rift between her and her mother becomes uncrossable. It may be tricky, but there's a chance it'll work out okay.
You know, before taking into account her armament augmentation abilities. Aside from what this could mean for Cloud herself, there's also the matter of how contagious magic is at CHS. How many other students might develop fantastic abilities? How will everyone deal with this? This could go a lot deeper than just one gunmage.
Dun dun DUUUUUNNNNN
Probably just as well Cloud won't be fooling around with any guys anytime soon if that's what she does to a rifle
That made me cringe.
The whole "Rainbow Dash trying to catch a bullet" bit does, too...
Next time, on a Very Special Episode of Oncoming Storm...
Huh, was not expecting that.
Going to be interesting to see what happens here. As we've seen at the end of Legends of Everfree, the statue is leaking magic into the world, meaning that potentially EVERY student at CHS could start developing magical abilities.
this well be interesting to see, provided the story remembers both parties are severely in the wrong in this case mother and daughter.
I spent basically the entire run up to that thinking "how long until we learn Clout is pregnant in this one too," so good job on defying the expectations there.
Oh dear, at a guess cloud is pregnant. Fricken love magic.
Having not read the prequel before finding this one, the premise of the story had me wondering if Rainbow Dash and Cloud Kicker were actually related, and Cloud's mother didn't want to reveal this because it would open up a significant can of worms.
That possibility is actually kinda disturbing ...
And just how did Cloud get "firearm-juju"? So many possible problems can come from this ...
8091243 You are an evil person for bringing up that possibility! Now I'm going to be stuck wondering if horrible events from Life and Times are going to repeat themselves in EQG
Well, I already deeply dislike Mrs Kicker. (I can't even be bothered to look her name up.) The whole over-protective-parent thing irritates me at the very best of times (especially at the point the children are old enough to be, y'know driving and shooting fracking guns, which means they're old enought to be married in my country (UK)), but the whole "I'm not listening" thing? That, alone, independant of the aforementioned is just about the fastest way to ignite my ire.
So, I merely snorted as the "wish you dead" line, myself.
Still, at least CK has got a cool power.
I'd also be geninuely intested as exactly what Mrs Kicker was going to lecture about safe sex between two girls. As (inflowing magic notwithstanding) safe sex is usually principally concerned with contraceptives (which... um...... yeah. Two girls.) With the additional concern of avoiding veneral disease. As RD and CK don't seem to be sleeping around[1], it seems... Unlikely that would be an issue. So, what?
Was she going to talk about, I dunno, how to... let's not put to finer point on it, cleaning artifices used after penetrative copulation? (Do you put condoms on those? Can you put condoms on those? I honestly have no idea, this being about as far from my field of expertise as can be fathomable.) I mean, I can see that the use of condoms would be applicable for two gentlemen having penetrative sex (just for avoid possible infections), but aside from apply the same principal to... said artifices, I am struggling to think as to how to "safe sex" would apply to two young ladies in an apparently exclusive relationship.
Or was it just an threat designed to embarrass CK?
(My Mum was a family planning nurse, so not only did I never need The Talk (since I picked up for an early age, by osmosis (and provided reading material eventually), but it doesn;t have quite the same effect on me as other people. Perhaps it helps that as sex is itself something I'm simply not interested in, there is a degree more seperation, I dunno.)
[1]I.e., the number of potential casual partners is zero, therefore confining the infection risks to only the two participants.
Im so glad i came to read this! Much better than i thought!
(I felt pretty terrible when Cloud said "I wish you were dead." Since... you know.)
Ouch. This is leaving a lot of chekhov's guns laying around, especially if you take the other side of the portal into consideration. I just hope Nimbus fairs better then her counterpart.
One question I have about Cloud's family though, what's her sibling situation? Equestria just has Alula, but the mentioned sibling pecking order makes it sound like Star and Sparkler are in there as well. So did Cloud's cousins become her sisters over here?
Have to say, I never thought I'd read an argument between a parent and a petulant teenager and actually sympathize with the teenager when she says "that's not fair!" That either says a lot about your writing, or a lot about Momma Kicker's parenting.
And as for Cloud's magic gun, everyone seems to think it's just from the statue leaking magic, but the story description makes me think of something else. Suffice to say, I think Momma Kicker might have been a bit too late with the safe-sex talk considering it looks like Cloud has contracted an STMP: a sexually transmitted magic power!
8095965
Star and Storm are still cousins to Cloud.
I like how you manage to convey both the "(Over)Protective Mom" who just wants her daughter to not fuck up, while also showing us the irrational side - the one that Cloud picks up on.
It's like... like she's actually a person, which is a good thing. The best characters are the ones where you can say "That sounds like a real person," and can follow their logic, etc. She's overprotective, stubborn, paranoid, and bigoted to a certain degree. All of these traits come forward, and not once does it feel like something doesn't make sense, because those traits are well established and shown to us even before it happens, and even as it happens.
It's relatable, and I can totally understand both sides of the argument. Cloud's indignation and anger, coming as a result of Nimbus/Mrs. Kicker doing something objectively unfair, but completely well-reasoned and realistic to her.
I guess the Tl;dr is - I like where this is going. The Drama is real without feeling obnoxious. Great job so far!
8096212
OK, it still just throws me of a bit that Sparkler is over here with the Kicker's instead of with Derpy. I just finished rereading Surface Tension and saw the relevant parts i forgot. All these AU's start to mesh in interesting ways after a while.
And to everyone else, I'm thinking we should call Cloud's new skill Peacemaker. Both for the gun and the superior firepower quote. Can I get a second endorsement?
My dad does that type of stuff all the time
Rainbow Dash, Captain of Witty Comebacks
Jeez, that's one hell of a magic boost if a regular "varmint rifle" blasted a huge hole in a tree.
Wow Cloud's parents are strict, and Rainbow’s as well, is that an american thing?
Back when I was that age parents wanted us to keep the door firmly shut. (We don't have silence spells where I'm from.)
Also, gun magic!
8128928
She is being cussed out because she earned. Not listening to Cloud who has given her no reason to show that she is breaking a rule. By now she knows what tough housing is. He'll as a military person she is supposed to assess the situation on assume without data.