• Member Since 10th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Wednesday

Twyla In Wonderland


Love's always in season and love is love. The world is changing and everyone has a view.

T

"He vuelto"

Amari is a 'New Girl' of Canterlot High, shes a sly girl who gets away with anything. What will happen when Amari threatens to ruin the girls life?

(Overwatch inspired)

Editors/Proofreaders:
VitalSpark

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 14 )

You know, the doors at CHS happen to be electronic locks...

8111447 Im sorry im not too sure what your on about

Nice story so far can't wait to read more also love this mysterious girl :)

8113033 Thank youuu currently writing chapter twooo

To be honest, I like the concept, but i feel like everyone is a little out of character. Sombra is a little too quick to threaten Rainbow and Sunset, confrontation just isn't her style. Maybe this will be explained later, but why does Sombra feel the need to separate the girls from each other? Sunset and Rainbow are arsonists for some reason, i fell like neither of them would just burn a building down for fun. Also, fluttershy falls for Sombra a little too quickly. Grammar wise, the story is fine, it just seems a little flat so far in terms of development.

8115004 ill all fall into place, and well done *claps* thanks for the comment though

8115422 Well thanks for staying positive. A of people would have just brushed me off. I'm going to follow this, i'd like to see you improve.

8116601 Thanks also i never brush off people who take the time to read my story

8115004
Sombra? Am I missing something? Amari is Sombra in disguise?

8117560 Well the cover, the title, she has a translocator, she can hack, it seems pretty obvious that it's Sombra in disguise, or at least a character inspired by her.

8117780
Oh… I see now… there's a character called Sombra in Overwatch. Didn't know that. I thought you meant King Sombra from My Little Pony.

8117857 Dangit, i always forget that he was a thing lol. Yeah, i meant the character from overwatch.

8117857
8118128

Now everyone gets that mixed up haha. Thats why i used the name Amari (still from overwatch) instead of Sombra, just because that will get confusing, i would have used her real name but its not stated but yeah haha i actually have a photo with both Sombras together

Enjoyable to read keep it up

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