• Member Since 22nd Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Tuesday

The Abyss


Comments ( 41 )

:rainbowwild: Is it hot in here or is it just me?

It seems to me like the character's roles should be swapped, should they not?

You kind of lose me on who is who during the story. But very nice.

8091615 Nope. Celestia is in power when she's at school, but in the bedroom, she's more than willing to give up that power.

8091628 Yeah, that's a big issue when it comes to writing stories about two characters of the same sex.

8091631

Story is still good and all. Just saying personally I lost track of who was who. Other than that very good story.

8091615
Naw, there are tons of fics with a sub Celly.

Yo Abyss. Hot.

8091671 Thanks! I spent at least three hours revising this.

Oh boy! I'm liking the sound of this! You've just peaked the interest of the founder of the EPPS group!

8091611 It's always hot in my room when I'm writing clopfics.:twilightblush:

8091718 Sweet! I hope you like it!

8091635 Thanks. I'll see what I can do with making things more clear when I'm writing about two same sex characters. I think I did pretty good on this one, and nobody has ever said what you have in my past stories. Instead of using their names all the time, which can make a story clunky and not read as well as if you used he/she interspersed, I used Mistress and submissive to try and break things up a bit.

Well damn, that was good stuff. A rather uncommon pairing, but thats what made it fun as well. :pinkiehappy:

I'll give this one a go.

This story is absolute ass that I think someone got rear ended right there.

:trollestia:

8093248 God damn it Sans!


8091629 Great story.

8093248 You're an asshole. /s

:trollestia:

8093248 I hate to make you the butt of the joke, but sometimes a wise-cracking skeleton can be a real pain in the ass. And I respect that. Every comedian should have some bad jokes in their back pocket. That's what makes a comedy act a real gas! :trollestia:

8094017 I should introduce you to my fist for saying such things.:twilightoops:

8094102 :fluttershysad: Go ahead... :fluttercry: I like the story though.

It is funny because Cheerilee and Celestia have the same voice over artist. It is like Nicole Oliver is talking dirty to herself while VIOLENTLY MASTURBATING!

She had to drive a lot slower than usual, though, for it had started snowing late last night, and the dark clouds above showed no signs of letting up anytime soon.

You know, since they both work in the same school, and if it snows enough, school may be closed Monday and they would have one more day together.

“Excellent...” Cheerilee purred, forming a fist with her hand.

Did that kill your boner? ...No? Weirdo.

they were still so early in their relationship that she feared that such a question would Mistress off.

There is a word missing between these.

Tossing it aside, she switched the vibrator off

She never switched it back on from the last time she turned it off.

With her clean hand, she pushed her fingers inside of her Celestia’s

Did you mean that Celestia belongs to Cheerilee, or do you have an extra word here?

the bumpy medial ring of dildo teased her

Missing "the".

The safety word is cake if things get too much for you to handle. Mistress will never think poorly of you for trying to handle something that you’re not ready for...”

"Trying" does not seem to be the correct word in this instance. It implies being able to handle it and not needing the safe word. Cheerilee is encouraging Celestia to be assertive enough to use the safe word should things be too much for her. "Not being able" may be better than "trying".

Getting a little cocky, eh?

Ha. I get it. Funny. Because it is a horse cock.

This was cute. It reminded me of a few other Submissive Celestia stories I have read. Well, Submissive Celestia was just incidental to the awesome epic stories that they came with. You should read Nom_deCheval's Who Rules? series. But this was glorious clop for the sake of glorious clop. It was... Excellent.

Though a second chapter that follows up on the tease at the end would make this even better.

You have earned yourself a like, a favorite, and the much sought after yet seldom received Rarity ahegao.:raritydespair:

~KBO.:twilightsmile:

8094561 God damn dude... I was pretty damn certain that this story was free from errors. I gotta get you to go through each and every new story/chapter just to make sure that there aren't any mistakes like this, so... what say you, long-time reader of mine? :heart:

I'll make the corrections now. Thanks a ton!:twilightblush:

8094719 As long as it does not contain futa, I am always happy to lend a hand.:twilightsmile:

8094845 Alright, cool. Where's a good place to reach you, skype? discord? fimfiction? I'd prefer the first two options over the last.

Not kidding, this may be the hottest EG clopfic i've ever read. The only thing is i feel it should have been someone else, Cheerilee just isn't that believable of a dom.

8094561 I kept hearing the same voice actress doing their voices like on the show. Pretty kinky, a little weird, but not a bad read!:heart:

8095262

Seriously? Have you met the cmc? They need a firm hand. Cheerilee has had plenty of practice teaching.

8094877 I am on both Skype and Discord, whichever you prefer. Though I am not usually on those until after seven at night Eastern.

8095706 That's fine. Please PM me your skype and discord names.

Brilliant as always, Abyss! Have your 150th like!

Well, this was certainly fun... if only that forced break in reading didn't happen. I'm also glad this wasn't longer, it would suck to have to change, well, anything. I noticed the puns... had to make my own. I really enjoyed this one, it was a great story. ^^

small of her back

What does that mean?

Would love a sequel.

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