I am a 17 year old Brony from Rockford Ill and my favorite pony is Pinkie Pie
Its another typical day for Fluttershy when a rather handsome (albeit awkward) Duckweed comes in to have his pet duck, Bronsons wing fixed. Out of this blossoms a great freindship as these two soulmates face life together against bullies and Chrysalis
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800 first chapter
200 on 2nd
and its incomplete.
whut?
indentation is only if you want time jumps in a single scenario of which you portray in a line spacing.
indentation on its own looks idiotic and irritating to read.
plus you need to edit some errors on the prose.
its ok. but the pace is way too fast. you need to develop tension and perspective a bit more by being more descriptive.
Well thanks for your advice, this is my first attempt at shipping
Apologies mate. Its a good story, but I just can't get over the fact that I first read your OC as Dickweed, and it sorta spoiled it for me.
Its understandable, when I see the plant I think of the term too
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