Chapter 18
Lunch would be served soon, and Sumac was too overwhelmed to even notice what it might be. There was warmth and life in this old house now, both the warmth of bodies and emotional warmth. The kitchen was crowded, packed with bodies, which now included Pinkie Pie after Octavia had gone to fetch her. There was laughter, there was talking, with everypony trying to talk over everypony else, and all of it was just too much.
Megara was being cuddled by Cloudy, who treated Megara quite like a housecat. This worried Sumac, it bothered him, but he lacked the means to put it into words. It was like when somepony treated Boomer like a pet, like some lizard. Even if he could say something, he didn’t dare disrespect Cloudy. That would be wrong. Perhaps Tarnish might say something later, make some gentle suggestion, or maybe Maud.
In an instant, everything changed, and the kitchen went silent.
“Pebble Pie,” Igneous said to his granddaughter, “it is time that you and I had a talk, and I explain to you a filly’s duties… a mare’s duties as well, but those will come later.”
Blinking, Sumac did his best to figure out why everything had gone silent, but he drew blanks. The many mares of the kitchen were staring at Igneous, and Octavia in particular looked quite distressed. He wondered why, not understanding, but he could feel the undercurrent of turmoil in the silence. Octavia’s mouth opened, closed, opened again, and then closed with a click of her perfect teeth. Beside her, Vinyl looked guarded, and the corners of her mouth were pulled downwards.
“Pebble Pie, you have a special somepony, which makes this talk a little more meaningful, I suppose.” Igneous reached out, pulled his granddaughter closer, and then smoothed out her rumpled dress. “Now you listen to me carefully, ‘cause I’m going to tell you how things are and how things should be.”
Twinkleshine, who looked angry, started to say something but Lemon jammed a hoof into her mouth. The hairs along the back of Sumac’s neck rose as he had the first inkling that perhaps, something wasn’t quite right, and that something might actually be wrong. The tension almost became suffocating, and he wondered if he was sitting too close to the fire.
“Every little filly, and later, every mare, they have a duty, an obligation to their special someponies and their husbands.” Igneous gave Pebble a squeeze, oblivious to the situation around him, or maybe he just didn’t care. “With you being a little filly, this sacred duty falls upon you, Pebble Pie.”
“What do I need to do?” Pebble asked in deadpan.
“It is your job to learn how to sass your special somepony.”
Octavia appeared as though she deflated, and Lemon pulled her hoof out of Twinkleshine’s mouth with a wet sounding pop. Now, Sumac was even more confused, and had even less of an understanding of what was going on. Pinkie Pie let heave a wistful sigh as she looked at her sister, Limestone, and both mares shared a smile with one another.
“Behind every great stallion is an even greater mare, Pebble Pie.” Igneous cast his gaze over at Cloudy for a moment, then returned his attention to his granddaughter. “Now, sass is like sunshine… or rain… you need enough of it, but not too much. Too little rain, and everything dries up and dies. Too much rain, and everything floods. A mare, or in your case, a filly, has an obligation to keep a stallion… or a colt on his hooves. Do you follow?”
“I think so?” Pebble replied, sounding dubious.
“A stallion is all about ego… showing off. He’ll get a big head from time to time, a puffed out barrel. This happens too often, and it’ll lead him down a path of ruination. So it falls on a wise mare’s shoulders to give him some much needed sass, and keep him level headed. The real trick is doing it right, Pebble Pie… too much sass, and you’ll reduce him to nothing, you’ll diminish him. Too little sass, and he’ll get outta hoof. But you do it right, and he’ll level out and do right.”
“I remember when I got this talk,” Limestone said to Pinkie, and the pink mare beside her nodded.
“Now Sumac here… he’s a bit special, he’s a sorcerer, and he’s bound to have a lot of ponies flattering his ego, giving him a big head, and filling his mind with nonsense that’ll give him delusions of grandeur.” Igneous paused for a moment, cleared his throat, and gave Pebble a squeeze. “If you really care about him, Pebble, you’ll pop that big head of his with a pin and keep his hooves on the ground. Do you understand?”
Sumac’s mouth fell open when Pebble nodded, and without understanding why, he was now afraid. When Octavia began laughing, he became even more confused, and the poor colt, overwhelmed, lacked the means to express himself in an adequate manner. The tension that had built in the kitchen was now gone, dispelled, banished.
“Maud, did your father… did your father have this talk with you?”
“Well, of course, Tarnish.”
“Do you do this to me?”
“Look at you… so clever, so quick to catch on. This is how you proved to be adequate enough to be a father.”
“Right, then.” Tarnish nodded, prodded his wife with his hoof, and nodded again. “Carry on.”
“Now, Pebble, this is a door that swings both ways.” Deep furrows formed in Igneous’ brows, and the sudden appearance of wrinkles made him appear wizened, somehow much older than he was. “Seeing as how Sumac doesn’t have a father to give him this sort of talk, I suppose it falls on me to have this chat with him, if his mothers will allow it.”
The words had scarcely left his mouth when Trixie blurted out, “Please do!”
“Well, that settles things then.” Sighing, Igneous’ face relaxed, and many of the wrinkles eased away, or vanished altogether. “Now, us Pies, Coffins, and Coffyns, we’re known for our wit. It’s dry, and flaky, like a pie crust. But also like a pie crust, it is firm, supportive. A pie crust has to be stiff, starchy, if it is to stand up on the plate and keep its shape. If a pie falls flat, it becomes nothing more than a puddle, so the crust is the most important part in the relationship.”
“I understand, Grandfather.” Pebble tilted her head back and she looked quite solemn.
“But a pie crust all by its lonesome?” Igneous shook his head from side to side, looking grim. “Nopony wants to eat that. The sweet parts tend to be the soft parts, the parts that can’t stand up on their own, and it is only when you combine them, when you take the sweet, soft stuff and combine it with the stiff, sturdy, supporting stuff, that you get a proper pie.”
“I was a pie crust for too long,” Maud deadpanned. “I found some chocolate filling.”
“This… actually… makes sense.” Pebble drew out the words, and her eyes glittered with thoughtfulness. “Wow, this actually makes a lot of sense. Thank you, Grandfather.” Looking pensive, she leaned up against the older stallion, and then went as still as a stone.
“I got some filling for you, Maud.”
“You keep your custard to yourself.”
The joke was lost on Sumac, who like Pebble, was now lost in deep thought. The colt had retreated deep into his own mind, off to find some undiscovered country in the back woods of his psyche. If Pebble was the stiff one, the supportive one, that made him the soft one. This did not alarm him, or bother him, or make him feel lesser, he accepted it without question and saw it for what it was; he was far more vulnerable than Pebble was, and that was okay.
“Big Mac is worried that Sumac is going to grow up and become a sissy,” Pebble said while rubbing her front hooves together.
“Is that so?” The words coming out of Igneous’ mouth were gentle, carried no derision, and cast no judgment. “Well, that’s a reasonable fear, I suppose. I guess if I was to sit down and have a think about it, I might even share his worry. Mac is a self made stallion… his parents died before they could pass on everything that he needs to know, so he had to grow up in a hurry, and he had to do it on his own. It’s probably just his way of relating to Sumac, seeing as how the colt is in a similar situation. I wouldn’t let it worry you, Pebble.”
“How’d you get so wise?” Pebble asked.
“I’ve lived a long time with a sassy wife,” Igneous replied.
“I’m gonna be a wise, wise pony someday.”
“Now you’re just taking my sass for granite.”
“Oh, boo!” Lemon Hearts cried out in protest while she stared at Tarnish and Maud.
Sumac, lost in thought, having tumbled down the well of introversion, heard none of this.
Leaning over, Twinkleshine gave Trixie a nudge in the ribs with her elbow. “Psst, hey… Trix, you happy?”
Distracted, Trixie did not respond, and continued staring straight ahead. This worried Twinkleshine, of course, and she began to wonder what Lemon might do. The lemony one was the relationship specialist, the mechanic that held this rickety contraption together. Unable to think of what Lemon might do, Twinkleshine reached out, grabbed Trixie’s foreleg, and gave it a yank.
“Hey, Trix, you happy? Are you okay? You’ve been staring out the window now for a good five minutes, hardly blinking, and barely moving. For a time, I wasn’t even sure if you were breathing, and it scared me.”
What happened next unnerved Twinkleshine, and she found herself in strange circumstances. “Hold me,” she heard Trixie say, and it was not a question, nor was it a request for permission. Leaning back against the sofa, Twinkleshine opened her forelegs while Trixie clambered closer and crawled into her equinal space.
“What’s wrong?” Twinkleshine asked.
“That conversation earlier, just before lunch… with Igneous and Pebble… it bothered me.”
“What he had to say?” Baffled, Twinkleshine cursed her own thick-headedness.
“No.” Trixie shook her head, and her muzzle brushed up against Twinkleshine’s cheek. “Us. We heard Igneous talking to Pebble and we immediately assumed the worst of him. We all did it, Twinkleshine… we all thought that he was going to say some horrible sexist thing to Pebble and teach her her place as a filly.”
“Yeah, that’s kinda what I thought was going to happen,” Twinkleshine confessed.
“But to hear him empower her…” Trixie wrapped her forelegs around Twinkleshine’s neck, and then rested her head against the pearlescent mare’s cheek. “Trixie is confused and shaken right now. I’ve been torn down by Igneous… he said things… true things… have I been so hurt and damaged by the world that I immediately assume the worst of ponies? Trixie feels ashamed, Twinkleshine… so very ashamed.”
“Well, that’s a safe position to take,” Twinkleshine whispered, fearing that she was saying the wrong thing. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think that Octavia and Vinyl had the same fears as we did.” A warm, humid heat formed between her body and the mare she held, a delightful, arousing heat that manifested scalp-tingling static crackles that arced along the belly. Reaching down, she ran one foreleg along Trixie’s hip, down her thigh, and then along the length of her leg.
“Twinkle—”
“You want me to stop?” She pulled her hoof away and endured a powerful internal cringe. She always picked the worst times to be affectionate, it seemed. Always the most inappropriate time. Lemon was trying to help, trying to fix it, but Twinkleshine knew that she was a grabby, gropey sort. It was easier than talking, by far.
“No, Twinkle… keep… keep doing that. Trixie likes it. I like it. I need to feel safe right now, like nothing can touch me so I can sort out what is inside of my head.”
“So it is okay if I grope you?” Twinkleshine, a bold pony, wasted no time and got herself a hooffull of cutie mark. She was rewarded with a somewhat nervous sounding giggle, and she contented herself with what she had. She could grope other things later. When their bellies rubbed together, Twinkleshine’s mood turned both amorous and protective. Physically, she was a bigger mare than Trixie, in both bulk and mass. Out of the three of them all, she was the biggest and strongest.
Which wasn’t saying much, as she was still a dainty little unicorn, more fluff than tough.
Tilting her head a little, Twinkleshine whispered into a blue, quivering ear, “Trixie Lulamoon… I am filled with lesbian lust for you. I just thought you should know, you give me a teeny, tiny filly hardon.” For a moment, there was nothing, and she feared that she might have, perhaps, gone too far, but then Trixie’s warm, velvety body began twitching with a bad case of the stifled giggles.
“Don’t let go of me,” Trixie begged, half-laughing.
She realised that this was the secret to getting Trixie turned on, and Twinkleshine gave the mare in her embrace an aggressive, possessive squeeze. Instead of talking dirty, Trixie needed more ‘talk protective’ to get warmed up. “I’m never letting go of you…”
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XD
"Trixie..."
"Yes, Twinkleshine?"
Twinkleshine leaned in, her forehead bumping Trixie's. She focused her eyes on the blue unicorn. Trixie found her self mesmerized by the sight. Then she felt Twinkleshine's firm forelegs lock around her; she felt safe. Safe and somewhat warm. Obviously, Twinkleshine was bringing the heat.
"Trixie... I'm..." Twinkleshine squeezed. Trixie squeed in response. "I'm.... never gonna give you up,"
Trixie whimpered.
"...never gonna let you down."
Trixie bit her lip.
"...never gonna run around and desert you."
Trixie moaned.
"...never gonna make you cry"
Trixie gasped.
"...never gonna say goodbye"
Trixie panted.
"...never gonna tell a lie and hurt you."
Twinkleshine never knew that a smaller, blue unicorn kiss that aggressively.
hehe grr
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/79/bc/04/79bc0468e1befaeccc738b27d8bd4d74.jpg
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🤢
...
Gneiss.
That little twist with Maud's daddy was just BRILLIANT!! <3 <3 <3
If you think about it, you realize just how RIGHT Igneous is. If you and your significant other can't flick shit at each other/sass each other, that relationship is going to go bad at some point, no exceptions. I flick shit at my friends and my friends flick shit right back. It's part of a healthy Friendship, and even part of a healthy relationship.
That was some good relationship advice. Everyone needs some sass and some sweet, but in the exact right combination. Much like a good cake or pie.
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I think someone will be cummingtonite.
Igneous owes Equestria a fortune in burn cream.
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Celestia's Pregnant Teats, Cog.
Oh Igneous, I reckon you knew that opener would get a rise out of people.
A ball of fluff she may be, but I still respect and fear the shiny twinkle.
And im caught up once again. Ye~
Poor Sumac, he'll be stranded on the Pebble island in the Great Sea of Sass with three Great Mother sharks circling in the water.
Yay! Igneous is a wise stallion
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pfffffffft
That was brilliant!