This story is a sequel to A Choice to Make
Even before they had become Crusaders, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle have been best friends ever since they first met as fillies. As they grew older however, they started to develop more feelings for each other than that, but were afraid to admit it to each other.
But when after High School they meet up in Manehattan while both of them are traveling with their families. Will they take a chance and possibly become something more?
Cover made by PKlove-chan.
Chapters (1)
NO! Ruiner of my OTP thou shalt perish for thy crimes! Sky-Belle 4 lyfe!
8103120 You know this may shock you but other people are free to like different ships.
8103123 Yes I'm not saying you're not. I'm just making a pun based on your name.
8103124 Oh
, sorry, my bad.
Well, this beats my fanfiction...
8103310 Yours can't be that bad.
I loved this! One of my favourite ships so that made it even better!
This was an awesome read!
8103327 Well, I didn't say that it was. Just stated that yours is better.
This wasn't bad at all, but it didn't expand on common tropes of romance. I mean, it's actually more likely that people would confess that they've liked rather than loved someone in order to save that word to make it more meaningful. That would've made this story feel more real than what it sounded like: two ponies being shipped like dolls are smacked together in fake renditions of love.
Still, it's a decent write up, but it stayed generic instead of appealing.
Awww, so cute. I love this ship, and it was great so well done!
Adorable... Simply adorable. Just what I needed to start the day.
8103863
Glad you liked it, yeah its a cute ship.
8103959
Not really sure which fic you mean.
8104032
Yeah... honestly romance stories aren't my specialty, I just wanted to write this, not really sure how often I'll do these.
8104050
Thanks, really glad you liked it
.
8104108
Glad to have made your day
.
8104117
Well, it's not really just the romance. I should've elaborated, my apologies. Part of the reason why I think this fic is only decent is that it appealed to what you and I would call "fanon". Yes, you wanted Scoots to have RD as her parent, when we all know that the real parents haven't been shown on screen yet (unless I'm retarded and they have). Yes, you wanted Sweetie Belle to be the daughter of Rarity and Fluttershy but in reality, that's not only not the case, but it also somewhat creeps me out slightly. I mean, I'm just being honest here, but the thought of my sister being my mother makes me shiver. She's my sister because I see her as a sibling. Sure she has motherly instincts now, but I would never see her as a mother of me. She's just a role model to look up to, not a parent.
This lends me to my point. You appealed to the fanon and well, not everyone see this fanon interpretation of characters as... good. I was able to read past it through, but it definitely didn't help me in deciding whether i liked it or not. The romance was on a different scale too, but let me tell you this: it isn't just the romance that was the problem.
List of issues with the fic:
1. Parent thing (mentioned before).
2. Romance being slightly fake (mentioned before).
3. Writing
3.1 Saidisms. You do not need a dialogue tag during every instance of dialogue. If we get who is speaking, you do not need to give us another indication of them speaking. For instance:
You need to vary how the sentences are worded. I mean, heck, you missed the opportunity to do this:
Breaking up dialogue just to enhance it like this provides much needed variation, while giving the readers cues as to whether or not this conversation is going to last for longer than two lines. Honestly, that's a whole 'nother boat to rock, but I'll say it lightly: add more to these conversations with the characters we are supposed to be focusing on. I don't think you need to provide a reason as to why AB isn't there when it's not really a focus of the story. We're here to see some cute shipping of two pones. Just saying. Find what is necessary for the story to blossom, instead of adding characters to separate what a good conversation could've been.
8104136 I'm guessing you haven't read my other fics because I tend to write Scootaloo being adopted by Rainbow Dash a lot. Really its just something I like to do, and if the show eventually contradicts me, well, there's always the alternate universe tag.
This is actually supposed to be in the same universe as an earlier FlutterDash fic I wrote where they adopt Scootaloo (along with my two OctaScratch fics)... which I admit was not my best work and I probably should've specified that in retrospect.
Saidisms, uh, yeah... I've really got nothing for that, that's really more a habit of mine that I can't seem to get away from, so I've got nothing.
8104149
You probably should be tagging it as such then, because I have no clue how you write nor what you write as an author. You essentially created your own "Dash is the mother of Scootaloo" universe, which is something I'm not a huge fan of anymore. To be fair, I don't stick to canon much either, but sticking to the basics is what I try to do.
Hmm, see this is where it gets tricky, because the reader has no way of knowing this is relevant to that universe if it is not mentioned nor tagged in a certain way (if this is a sequel to one of those fics, then the correlation is met partially [still needs to be elaborated as to how it ties with the universe within the piece of fiction]).
Saidisms is a hard habit to knock. You just need to think of your story as a puzzle that needs to be filled. Too many wrong pieces can ruin the chance of you solving it.
Oh, and don't forget, elaboration on conversations would be nice. Those convos went by super quick between our MCs.
8104158 Really you don't have to like the whole Rainbow Dash is Scootaloo's mom thing, its just something I like and have been writing a lot for, some reason.
Well I've added Alternate Universe and that its a sequel, I really should've done that before in retrospect.
Anyway, I'll work on the other things.
Ultimately I'm planning on tying this together more in a future Next Generation fanfic.
8104169
I know I have the right to not like it. Just saying it came in without warning, that's all.
It's all good. And cool, hope that future Gen project goes well.
8104176 Yeah, in retrospect I really should have said it was a sequel or at least in the same universe at least so it wouldn't have come completely out of the nowhere if you knew it was a sequel to another fic where they adopted Scootaloo, my bad for confusing you.
Thanks, at the moment I'm waiting on some pictures for the kids before I start the fanfic itself so I have no idea how long it'll be. I have two pictures so far, which are pretty nice.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle's:
pre15.deviantart.net/0152/th/pre/f/2017/090/3/f/sweetie_belle_x_scootaloo_by_hollyleaf12-db45ynp.png
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy's:
pre06.deviantart.net/c88b/th/pre/f/2017/092/e/8/fluttershy_x_rainbow_dash_by_hollyleaf12-db4gyy1.png
8104192
Wait, so Rarity wasn't together with Fluttershy in this fic?
Now I'm more confused. What are the pairings for this fic?
8104214 Uh, no, Rarity was with Applejack, and Fluttershy was with Rainbow Dash... I thought I made that clear, that may have been my fault.
8104216
Even though I do re-read more than twice, I still get confused. Oh well. Rarijack is a good pairing imo, but that's just my op.
Could be, or maybe I misread.
8104221 Yeah, I'm pretty sure I was clear that at least FlutterDash is a thing, and yeah RariJack is a great couple... which is one of the pictures I'm waiting on at the moment along with a bunch of others (though not all will actually be used in the fic, two are for other fics and two are just for fun).
The one character I haven't figured out is Apple Bloom, I want her to have a kid too for the next generation fic, but I don't have a ship for her, at all.
I loved this! :D
8104922 Yay, I'm glad, also good to see a fellow ScootaBelle shipper.
She's gooood
This was a great fanfic
The only thing I didn't like was FlutterDash, but that's just my inner TwiDash shipper making me biased
Other than that, this story was amazing
8116775 Well I love FlutterDash, but I'm not going to criticize anyone else's taste.
8117001 I know, and I respect other shippers, even if I don't agree with the ship
8117541 Yep.
Also I will read TwiDash, its just when it comes to writing I prefer to write only certain ships... unless the story calls for something else and this is not one of those stories.
8117592 I know. The first time I met you was in a TwiDash fic
8104149
I don't really think that warrants an Alternate Universe Tag. If the show eventually contradicted something like that, then like literally every single shipping story would require an Alternate Universe Tag and then some that are out of date.
Alternate Universes are stories that have events setup that work differently from the canon of the show. Not just specific events that could eventually be contradicted from the show, such as stories writing about parents that haven't been revealed yet.
From what I understand with this story, Scootaloo was adopted by Rainbow and Fluttershy as a daughter. Even if Scootaloo had real parents, this still would be possible in MLP. (Heck, Pinkie Pie practically did it in canon with the Cakes.) Not to mention, Rainbow adopting Scootaloo as a sister is practically canon now. Even then, Fluttershy adopting Scootaloo fics that don't involve Rainbow Dash, aren't Alternate Universe.
That's it, I'm Scootabelle trash now (I'm still a Crusadership trash but arrgh I'm not gonna causality loop my brain into a BSoD, so I'll put it like this, I'm Omniship trash but I out-trash that with me being FlutterDash trash/RariJack Trash/TwiPie trash/SunLight trash)
Either way I am trash for this and I am here to love it like hell!