Chapter Three
The next afternoon, as promised, Applejack and Rainbow Dash escorted their little sisters to Carousel Boutique, where Rarity was waiting to greet them at the door. "Come in, come in," she beamed, graciously gesturing them inside. "I've made cookies and lemonade."
"Yes!" Rainbow and Scootaloo crowed almost simultaneously, barreling past Rarity.
The unicorn stared after them in horror, her eyes popping. "Goodness gracious. I'm beginning to worry for our little Scootaloo. Where is she going to learn proper etiquette? Dashie's certainly not teaching her."
"Applejack an' me can teach her etiquette," Apple Bloom said proudly, and then proceeded to walk into the boutique without wiping her hooves on the doormat. Rarity emitted a faint groaning noise and tottered backwards, the sight of muddy hoofprints on her spotless floor simply too much to bear.
Applejack chuckled. "Relax, Rares! They're jus' young 'uns."
She made as if to step past Rarity into the boutique, but the alabaster unicorn came out of her stupor at once and shot Applejack a ferocious glare. "Applejack Apple, you wipe your hooves on that mat this instant! This instant, I tell you! They may just be fillies, but you certainly are not, and I expect you to know better!"
Now, there weren't many ponies that Applejack took orders from, but Rarity was one of them. Mainly because Applejack knew that if she made Rarity mad, she would wake up one morning in a bright pink frou-frou dress that was too tight to take off. "Yes ma'am," she gulped, nervously shuffling backwards and individually swiping all four of her powerful hooves against the rug.
Instantly, Rarity was all smiles again. "Wonderful. Thank you. Oh, and-" Neglecting to finish the rest of her sentence, she leaned forwards and patted a loose curl of Applejack's rippling golden mane back into place. "My apologies, that was bothering me. A lady must always look her best. Now please do come in." Leaving the door open, she turned around and trotted daintily inside the boutique.
Scrunching her eyes at Rarity behind her back, Applejack intentionally pulled the curl back out of her mane and then headed in to join her friends. Rainbow, Rarity, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle were already gathered around Rarity's dining table. Everypony had a glass of lemonade embellished with a colorful paper umbrella, as well as two large, perfectly round sugar cookies (if they hadn't looked perfect, Rarity probably would have killed them). Applejack settled into a chair between Rarity and Rainbow and smiled kindly at the three little fillies sitting on the other side of the table. She then glanced down at her cookies and raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, these smell jus' a tad funny..."
Unable to wait any longer, Rainbow Dash snatched up both cookies at once and shoved them into her mouth, spewing crumbs halfway across the table. Sadly, it was not meant to be. Her amaranth eyes widened to the size of the very cookies that she'd just eaten, and she spat her dessert back onto her plate. "WHAT THE HAY?! These are disgusting!!!"
Applejack was considerably more discreet. "Uh, sugarcube," she began, turning to Rarity and eyeing her apologetically, "Ah'm sure y'all put a lot o' effort into these, but, uh... they could be a little tastier. Ah have no idea what's in 'em." With a mighty effort, she managed to chew and swallow the small bite of cookie that she had taken.
"I do," the prismatic pegasus spat. "PURE ACID!" She glared down at the sloppy mess of crumbs that had once been her cookies. "You lied to me and got my hopes up, you little squirts! PREPARE FOR AN UNTIMELY DEATH!"
"Ya already ate 'em once," AJ pointed out reasonably. "Also, yore talkin' t' dessert."
"I simply can't believe what you both are saying," Rarity protested before Rainbow could retort. "I used one of Pinkie Pie's recipes! There's simply no way it could have gone wrong..." She happened to glance across the table, and caught sight of Sweetie Belle sinking lower in her seat. Her sisterly instincts honed in on this suspicious behavior at once. Fidgeting hooves, darting eyes, trembling muzzle - Sweetie Belle was displaying all the signs. She had most definitely had a hoof in this mishap.
"Sweetie Belle? Would you care to tell us why you are trying to hide beneath the table?" Rarity asked, as pleasantly as she could given the circumstances.
"Um..." The little filly sank even lower, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo watching her worriedly. "No?"
"Really? Is that your final answer?" Rarity was using that calm and controlled voice which meant that the only place somepony would be able to escape her growing wrath was Tartarus itself.
Sweetie Belle swallowed hard. She was no stranger to her sister's anger. "Er, well..."
"Tell th' truth, honey," Applejack urged, smiling reassuringly. "We ain't gonna be angry."
"Speak for yourself," Rainbow harrumphed. "I missed out on cookies!"
Sweetie Belle sighed and nibbled on her lip, realizing that she would have to tell the truth at some point anyway. "Well... Rarity, remember this morning when I was watching you bake the cookies? And, um, now I know that you asked me to fetch you some more flour?"
"What do you mean 'now', Sweetie?" Rarity demanded.
"Well..." she giggled nervously. "At the time, I may have thought you were saying get me some more sour... and the vinegar bottle in the pantry was the closest thing I could think of... and your back was turned so I thought I would be helpful and add it in for you and then you decided you had enough flour and said 'never mind dear I don't need any more flour' and you started mixing the batter and never noticed the vinegar." Her words tumbled out of her mouth in a jumbled heap, as per usual when she was nervous.
Rarity's jaw dropped. "You mean... there's vinegar. In my cookies."
"HA!" Rainbow shouted, victorious. "I totally called it! Pure acid! Well, not pure. Vinegar's more like five to twenty percent acetic acid."
Everypony stared at her. "What?" she defended herself. "I'm not a total idiot."
Rarity was still hung up on the idea of vinegar being in her cookies. "Sweetie Belle, are you telling me that you didn't think putting vinegar in dessert was strange at all?"
"Well, why should I have?" she protested. "It's not like you ever let me help in the kitchen with anything other than fetching ingredients!"
"Ha-ha! That showed her!" Apple Bloom and Scootaloo cheered, raising their hooves for a Cutie Mark Crusaders hoofbump. Their big sisters glared at them, and they lowered their hooves sheepishly. "Bad timing?" Scootaloo mumbled.
"Yeah, kiddo. Pretty bad timing," Dash agreed.
Applejack snorted. "Huh. Says th' pony who jumped on me like somethin' possessed while Ah was carryin' th' cider barrels last year an' made all th' cider spill out onto th' ground."
"That was an accident!! I meant to jump onto the cider barrels, not you!"
"How is that any -" Applejack started, but was cut off by a quiet giggle from Rarity. The cowpony whipped her head around to stare at her friend. "Rarity, y'alraght?"
"Yes, haha - I'm wonderful - heehee - oh my goodness, it's just hilarious!" Rarity gave up all semblance of sophistication and slapped her hooves on the table, hooting with laughter. "Sweetie Belle, darling, I'm not mad at you," she giggled a few minutes later, wiping away tears of mirth. "You're right. It's my fault. I should have noticed the vinegar in the mixing bowl, and I should have been more instructive. I'm sorry that I didn't let you help out in the kitchen more - I promise I'll let you help next time. Alright?"
Sweetie Belle beamed at her big sister. "Okay! Thanks! And... I'm sorry I messed up your cookies," she added guiltily.
"Fear not," Rarity announced proudly. "We forgive you. And I know we all appreciate your honesty. Besides," she added, with a sly twinkle in her eye, "I have backup." Her horn glimmered with the telltale glow of magic as she used it to open a drawer and float a tray of small tea cakes onto the dining table. "I made these yesterday afternoon. I was saving them for a rainy day, but I think some ponies need these more than I." She was staring directly at Rainbow as she said this.
"Oh my Celestia you're my lifesaver!" Rainbow squealed. "Thank you!" She swept her hooves around half of the tea cakes, claiming them as her own.
"Uh, 'scuse me, Miz Rarity," Apple Bloom spoke up hesitantly as Applejack chatised Rainbow for being greedy and threatened to suspend her cider privileges 'until th' cows come home', "but Ah don' git it. Why were ya laughin'?"
"I was laughing because this incident reminded me of a somewhat similar incident from my fillyhood," Rarity replied mischeviously, ignoring Applejack and Rainbow wrestling with each other over who got the chocolate tea cake. "And I think I know exactly what story we're going to tell you three today."
Applejack and Dash stopped bickering at once. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Rarity?" Rainbow smirked, wiggling her eyebrows.
"If the twinkle in your eye is any indication of your thoughts, then yes." Rarity's sapphire eyes gleamed with fun. "Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, prepare to hear the tale of the day the Daredevils hospitalized half of Ponyville."
Applejack and Rainbow both wore matching broad grins. "Ah haven't thought back t' this in a while," AJ chortled. "You three are in fer a treat."
The Cutie Mark Crusaders leaned forwards in their seats and clasped their hooves together pleadingly. "Tell us tell us tell us!"
"Rarity, you want to do the honors?" Rainbow inquired. She casually stole the chocolate tea cake, which Applejack had won in the brawl, right out from under AJ's hooves and ate it. Nopony noticed, much to her relief.
"Absolutely." The unicorn took a dainty sip of lemonade, pushed the tray of tea cakes over to the fillies so that they could help themselves, and began. "It was about a month after we had formed our little club, and we had been having the time of our lives trying out new things and making decorations for the walls of our clubhouse. Nopony in Ponyville had heard of us yet, but that was soon about to change..."
***
"Songwritin', spyin', wrestlin', sewin', bein' ninjas..." Applejack glanced down at the list in her hoof and sighed. "Yep. We've done everythin' on th' list."
Since the Daredevils' new clubhouse belonged to Applejack, her friends had elected her unofficial leader. Well. Rarity had. Rainbow Dash hadn't quite adjusted to having somepony else being the leader. Fortunately, Applejack was quite content to let other ponies give the orders, so Rarity and Dash had equal opportunity to step up and take the helm if they felt so inclined. Which Rainbow often did.
One of Applejack's duties as 'leader' was to watch over the lists of activities to try out that the Daredevils made every day to entertain themselves, even if they usually finished every item on the list in an hour or less. Today they had actually finished everything in forty-five minutes. To be fair, spying probably would have lasted a lot longer if Rarity hadn't chipped a hoof and wailed loudly enough to blow their cover. And sewing almost certainly would have taken up several more hours if Rainbow and Applejack hadn't intentionally botched their projects in order to get out of finishing them.
Sadly, the fact remained that it wasn't even noon and the Daredevils had run out of things to do.
Rainbow Dash seemed most affected by this gaping lack of activities to engage herself with. The little pegasus filly was draped over the back of a chair, her eyes half-closed and her polychromatic mane drooping. Rarity and Applejack were clustered around the table in their clubhouse on either side of her, racking their brains for new things to try.
All of a sudden, Rarity perked up. "I have an idea," the snowy unicorn announced excitedly.
Dash's eyes brightened and then narrowed. "If it's more sewing -"
"No, of course not, Dashie. I was going to say that we should try baking. None of us have ever done that before."
"Hey, yore right!" Applejack agreed. "Ah'm all fer it. Dash? Think we should give it a shot?"
"Can we sell whatever we bake at the market and make some money out of it?" Rainbow asked slyly.
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Always in it fer somethin' else, this 'un. Yeah, Ah guess we can. When we started this club, we did say we were gonna help ponies... an' if givin' 'em baked goods ain't helpin', then Ah don't know what is," she finished with a broad grin.
"Sweet!" Dash pumped her hoof in the air. "Let's get to it! I already know what we should make. My dad was telling me about this really awesome dessert called mud pie."
Rarity frowned. "Grownups eat dessert made out of mud? How odd."
"I know, right? Still, my dad said it was awesome, so it must be pretty good. Maybe it's just really sweet mud. Or maybe we're supposed to add a lot of sugar to it."
"Wait, ya don' know?" Applejack looked distinctly skeptical. "Don'tcha think we should git a recipe b'fore we try makin' it?"
"Nah." Dash waved a hoof airily. "How hard can it be?"
Her confidence finally won the young Earth pony over. "Okay. If ya say so." AJ carefully folded up the activities list and laid it on the table. "C'mon, Ah know where there's a real nice patch o' mud."
The three fillies trooped outside and marched through the orchard until they arrived at the mud that Applejack had been describing. It was a marvelous, gloppy brown puddle with a diameter of at least ten feet. "Perfect!" Rainbow declared, settling to her haunches. "Let's get making!"
"Well, what do mud pies look like?" Rarity questioned. "After all, I simply refuse to sell anything unless it looks perfect."
"Uh..."' Rainbow hadn't thought of this problem, so it was clearly time to fib a little. "Well, they look like, um, little bite-size pancakes. Like this." She scooped up a dollop of mud, crinkling her nose at the smell, and used her hooves to compress it into a small patty. "There."
Rarity looked appalled. "You mean I have to touch it?"
"Well, duh. I mean, how else are you gonna make the mud pies?"
Her face a slight shade of green, the young unicorn scooted away from the mud. "I won't. You two can bury your hooves in that abomination. I can decorate the cakes when you're done. Presentation is everything."
"Alraght, Rares," Applejack said patiently. "Y'all can jus' watch us fer now." She bent over the mud and dug her hooves into it without hesitation. "Sakes alive, Ah can't believe grownups actually eat this stuff!"
"Tell me about it," Rainbow muttered.
The two of them worked in silence for a while, the midday sun beating down on their backs, two piles of mud pies slowly growing at their sides. Rarity only had to intervene once, in order to stop Dash from getting distracted and starting a mud fight (well, Dash had already thrown the hoofful of mad at Applejack before Rarity got there, but the unicorn managed to stop Applejack from throwing one back).
About ten minutes later, Applejack sat back and wiped her mud-and-sweat spattered brow. "Whew. Mah hooves are gettin' tired. Ah think we made enough. What's next?"
"Yeah... I actually have no idea," the pegasus confessed guiltily.
Applejack twisted her lip. "Oh. Well, uh... Ah don' know if this is helpful, but, uh... Granny an' Ma don' let me help out in th' kitchen yet, but Ah heard 'em talkin' about somethin' called flour once..."
"Oooh! Flowers! Decoration! My area of expertise!" Rarity shot to her hooves and -
***
"Wait. Hold up," Scootaloo interrupted, staring at the three former Daredevils accusingly. "You guys didn't know what flour was? You were a year older than us at the time, and we've known for years!!!"
"Well, what can I say?" Rainbow snorted. "We were kinda dumb."
"I have to agree," Rarity put in. "But in our defense, we were allowed to help our parents in the kitchen even less then we allow you three to help out, so we knew next to nothing about, well, kitchens and ingredients in general."
Sweetie Belle sucked in her breath. "Wow. Even less than you let us help? You guys must have barely known what a kitchen was."
"Yes, yes, point taken, Sweetie," Rarity sighed. "Now may I please get back to the story?" When nopony said anything to the contrary, she cleared her throat daintily and continued.
***
Rarity returned a few minutes later with a mouthful of assorted flowers, beaming proudly. "Daisies and daffodils," she announced. "I got them from the little field just outside the farm. Thank goodness this ingredient is a little more sensible than the mud - I mean, daisies are simply delicious! Now, do we crush them up and put them inside, or garnish them on top?"
"Both, I guess." Rainbow Dash shrugged and stepped forward to help along with Applejack, but Rarity held up her hoof to stop them.
"No, no. This is my area of expertise." Using her horn, the young unicorn slowly and carefully levitated a single flower and lowered it on top of one of the mud pies. It took her about an entire minute to arrange it just so.
"Ugh," Applejack groaned as Rarity nodded her head sharply and stepped back, pleased with herself. "This is gonna take ya ages. Ah'm gonna be called t' help out on th' farm at some point, ya know. Ah don' have all day."
"Fine," Rarity grouched. "I suppose you two can help."
Wearing matching expressions of relief, Applejack and Rainbow scooped up several flowers and began dropping them haphazardly onto mud pies. Rarity squealed in horror. "Oooh! No! It looks horrible! Move it to the left - just a tad - Dashie, no!!! You simply CAN'T have three flowers crossing each other in different directions!" Eventually realizing that nopony was listening to her, she grumbled and subsided. "Nopony understands the importance of aesthetic these days..."
The job went a lot quicker with all three of them helping, and all of the pies had been garnished with flowers in less than five minutes. "Ah'm pretty sure we need some sugar too," Applejack commented. "That's th' sweet stuff that makes dessert taste good. Ah know 'cause Granny's always tellin' me not t' eat too much of it."
"Well, do you know where we can get some?" Rarity wondered, mopping her brow (ladies did NOT sweat, no matter how miserably hot the sun might be).
"Yeah, Granny has some in th' pantry..."
"You're gonna steal it? Wow, AJ. I didn't think you had it in you!" Rainbow patted her on the back approvingly.
The little farmpony glared at her. "No. Yore gonna steal it, since these dang mud pies were yore idea in th' first place!"
Rainbow's smile melted. "Oh... um..."
She finally agreed to do it, provided that she got to dress up like a ninja again. Applejack described where the sugar was located in great detail, reassured her that Granny was (probably) in the fields instead of in the house, and threatened to pin her to the ground and never let go unless the pegasus got going. Needless to say, Rainbow did, scuttling off through the orchard almost faster than the eye could see. She returned only a few moments later, gripping a fat sack of sugar in her teeth. "There. Happy?" she grunted to Applejack.
AJ smiled complacently. "Very." She nuzzled the top of the bag open and drizzled copious amounts of sugar on top of of all the mud pies. Then she used her hooves to prod it into the mud so that it wasn't visible from the exterior. By this time, the sun had actually hardened the mud considerably, and the pies now bore fairly accurate resemblances to small round cakes. They had also lost their unappetizing smell.
"Are there any other ingredients?" Rarity asked.
Everypony ran through the very short list of baking ingredients that they knew about. The existence of whipped cream, hot fudge, and the like was completely lost on them. "Nope. I think we're good," Rainbow answered proudly. "Let's take these babies to market!"
***
About half an hour later, the Daredevils had gathered together all of their mud pies on a raggedy blanket and had managed to drag them to the Ponyville Marketplace. Hordes of ponies swarmed and thrummed around the three little fillies, ogling and buying and participating in other adult-y activities.
"How do we get their attention?" Rarity wailed. "It's like we're invisible!"
"Don't worry, I got this." Rainbow flew to a few feet above their pies and shouted, "HEY!!! WE'VE GOT MUD PIES OVER HERE! COME GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE HOT!" They were, indeed, rather on the warm side, thanks to the sun's heat.
Still nopony noticed. "Ya can't jus' yell at 'em like that, Dash," AJ berated her. "Ya gotta say somethin' t' entice 'em. Ah've seen Granny do it all th' time when she sells apples." She pushed her overlarge Stetson back over her forehead in an attempt to look more grownup and cleared her throat. "HOT MUD PIES FER SALE! BUY TWO, GET ONE FREE!"
Across the street, a thin gray Earth pony stallion with a spatula cutie mark and a wild black mane perked up his ears and trotted over. "Excuse me, did you say mud pie? I haven't had a good one of those in years! Although I must say, every mud pie I've ever had has been served cold. Interesting shape, too..."
Rainbow glanced at her friends in panic. This was a new wrinkle. "Um, yeah, we're trying something new... pioneers in the kitchen and all that..." She chuckled awkwardly. "Just, you know, don't eat them for a while. Give them some time to cool off."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that you're experimenting! I love trying new things. I'll take two, please." The stallion held up a money purse. "How much?"
New wrinkle number two. "Dashie? Applejack? We haven't decided on a price," Rarity hissed as unobtrusively as possible.
"Ah can see that," Applejack replied sarcastically out of the corner of her mouth. Trying to pretend that nothing was wrong, she smiled up at their first customer and held out a hoof. "Four bits, if ya please."
"What?!" Rainbow cried. "We're selling all our hard work for two bits apiece! No way!! Ten bits!"
"Rainbow, we can't charge five bits fer a lil' piece o' pie," AJ snapped. "That ain't good business policy. Too expensive."
"I didn't spend all these hours working just to make almost no profit!" the pegasus filly shot back angrily.
While the two of them were bickering, Rarity stepped forwards as charmingly as possible in order to divert the stallion's stare of bewilderment away from her friends. "That'll be four bits, please," she said firmly. Applejack and Rainbow broke apart and watched in silence as the transaction was made and the stallion sauntered off with his three mud pies.
"You two simply must stop fighting in front of our customers!" the young unicorn ordered, spinning around to face her friends and fixing them with an annoyed glare. "You'll scare them all away. And, Dashie, for the record, five bits for a tiny piece of pie is ridiculous. It's like... like... spending ten bits for a square of muslin. Not that I'd expect you to understand anything about that. Just trust me when I say it's ridiculous."
Neither pony had any chance to respond, as their next customer, a slightly chubby mare with a cream coat and a green mane, approached. "Awwww, aren't you three adorable! And oooh, these mud pies look marvelous," she gushed, her eyes shining with enthusiasm. "I haven't had one of these since I was a little filly! The only good mud pies around are in Canterlot, and that's far too long of a journey to make just for dessert..." She reached out and ran a loving hoof over one of the mud pies.
"Hey! Ya touch it, ya buy it!" Applejack yelled.
***
"HA!" Apple Bloom slammed her hoof down on the table and smugly turned up her nose at her big sister. "An' ya yelled at me fer sayin' that!"
Applejack had the good grace to look ashamed.
***
Fortunately, the mare wasn't at all offended by little Applejack's brusqueness. "Why, I wouldn't dream of doing anything but," she replied, licking her lips hungrily. "Here, I'll take three." She handed over six bits and trotted away after collecting her pies. "I hope business goes well for you three!"
It did. Within minutes, nearly everypony in the marketplace was crowding around the Daredevils' wares, whooping with glee. Apparently good mud pies had really been missed in Ponyville.
Very shortly, nearly every single one of their mud pies had been sold out. Rainbow Dash cackled under her breath as she counted out all the bits and wrapped them up in the blanket. "Guys, we made sixty bits!! I could buy a whole Wonderbolt Nightmare Night costume with this!!"
"Or," Applejack suggested with a frown, "we could split th' money three ways an' do whatever we want with it."
"Party pooper," the pegasus grunted.
"Sorry to interrupt," Rarity interjected, effectively halting Applejack's retaliation, "but where has everypony gone?"
Rainbow brushed her mane out of her eyes and glanced around the marketplace. It suddenly dawned on all three of them that they hadn't heard anypony else at all during the last few minutes. Every single shopper had simply vanished. Only the vendors were left, staring around in bewilderment and wondering why all of their customers had left.
"You're right, Rares." Dash narrowed her eyes in thought. "Something's definitely fishy here. Or maybe our mud pies were so good that our customers ran off to try making their own!"
"Or," Applejack gulped, "maybe we're in deep, deep trouble." She pointed a shaking hoof forwards.
Marching up the road was an all-too-familiar elderly green pony with an apple pie cutie mark, a greying bun, and an expression fierce enough to wilt every flower in a ten-mile radius. Granny Smith stopped in front of the Daredevils, who shrank beneath her stern gaze, and narrowed her eyes. "Well, lookie here. Ah come t' find out who in th' hay made all mah customers disappear, an' who do Ah find but mah own grandchild right at th' heart o' the mischief!"
Applejack pressed her hooves over her eyes. "Ah, shoot. Ah forgot it was apple-sellin' day..." Rainbow and Rarity shot her evil looks. It was just their luck that this had happened on the one day of the week Granny came to market to sell apples.
"Ya sure did," Granny snapped. "Now, answer me this: do ya know where all th' good folk of Ponyville went?"
"N-no, Granny," Applejack stammered, anxiously wringing her hat in her hooves.
"Well, Ah do. Ya jus' come with me, lil' missy." The invitation to come was somewhat unnecessary, as Applejack had no say in the matter: Granny grabbed her by the ear and hauled her down the road, her strength belying her frail frame. Applejack gave a stifled yelp and tried to squirm away, but to no avail - she was well and truly caught, and was forced to go limp and bear the indignity of being dragged like a sack of potatoes. "An' you two come too!" Granny called over her shoulder to Rainbow and Rarity. "Ah know y'all had a hoof in this!"
Her voice was far too intimidating for them to ignore their command. They slowly trotted after the elderly mare, their foreheads creased with worry. Rainbow made sure to bring along their blanket full of money. Normally she would have been laughing her butt off at Applejack's unfortunate plight, but she was scared that Granny would hear her snickering and start dragging her too.
The four ponies reached their destination in just a few minutes, due to Granny's brisk pace. "The hospital?" Rarity questioned perplexedly. "Why are we here?'
Granny chuckled grimly. "Imagine mah surprise when a horde o' ponies goes right by mah stall, shoutin', 'Don' eat th' mud pies!' So Ah followed 'em right t' th' hospital an', well... y'all better go an' see fer yoreselves." She released Applejack and gave her a little nudge, her face hard. "Go on. An' don' even try t' tell me it wasn't you three. Ah saw those mud pies on yer blanket."
The three fillies gathered their courage and timidly entered the hospital.
Ponies. Ponies, everywhere. Every bed was full - every single one. Some of the patients were merely sitting in their beds, their faces green, while others were actively emptying the contents of their stomachs into enormous bowls. And some were simply passed out.
Rainbow's eyes shrank to pinpricks. "We did this?" she whispered. "But... how?"
An exhausted-looking nurse approached them from behind. "Are you three the ones who fed all of these ponies mud?" she demanded. "Was it some kind of prank? You have severely upset all of these ponies' stomachs!! They're going to need strong antibiotics for days to counter the effects of all the germs, and they spat the mud out as soon as it touched their mouths! Just think, if anypony had actually swallowed it it might have been even more harmful! What were you thinking?"
"Ah think we'd all like t' know th' answer t' that question!" Granny had followed the fillies into the hospital and was now staring each of them down in turn, surrounded by a crowd of annoyed doctors and nurses. "Well?"
Applejack was near tears. "W-we didn't mean t' hurt anypony, honest! We were jus' tryin' t'make everypony some dessert."
"Dessert?" all of the adults shouted at once.
"We were making mud pies," Rarity sniffled. "Rainbow told us about them..."
"Hey! Don't pin this on me!" the pegasus shouted. "We all agreed to do it!"
"She's right," Applejack sighed. "We're all o' us t' blame... We're really sorry, everypony. Ah guess we shoulda picked better mud. We didn't know th' mud was gonna make everypony sick." Rainbow and Rarity nodded, their eyes downcast.
Everypony stared at the three youngsters for a few seconds of wide-eyed shock and then burst out laughing. "Well, call me a cucumber!" Granny chortled, wiping away tears of mirth. "If that ain't the funniest thing Ah ever dang heard!" The nurses and doctors' expressions had noticeably softened, and they were now regarding the youngsters with amusement rather than rancor.
"What's so funny?" the Daredevils demanded simultaneously.
Granny was still chuckling as she answered. "Mud pie ain't made o' real mud. It's jus' called that 'cause it looks all muddy... which is 'cause it's made with chocolate. Ah don' know why y'all thought ponies like eatin' mud!"
Realization suddenly dawned on the Daredevils that they had made a glaring mistake. They hung their heads in shame and shuffled their hooves. Rainbow in particular did her best to avoid meeting her friends' gaze: she knew that they hadn't forgotten that making mud pie had been her idea in the first place. She knew that she was going to be yelled at big-time later.
"Ah know we all appreciate yore apologies," Granny continued. "That was real grown-up o' y'all. That bein' said, Ah still want th' three o' ya t' pay these poor ponies' hospital bills. Ah know Ah got no authority over anypony 'cept Applejack, but Ah hope you two will do what ya know is right." She fixed Rarity and Rainbow Dash with a stern stare.
"Of course," Rarity agreed at once. "It's only right."
Rainbow grumbled some choice words under her breath, which she probably shouldn't have known at such a young age, but gave her assent as well. "How much is it gonna cost? We earned sixty bits from our sales today," she said hopefully, offering up the filthy blanket that contained the money. Maybe she wouldn't have to give up any of the money she had at home.
A well-built male nurse standing next to Granny gingerly took the blanket, opened it, and snorted. "If that's all the money you have, then you're looking at being four hundred bits in debt."
The Daredevils' faces fell. Not only would they have to give up all of their savings, but they'd also have to figure out how to earn three hundred or so bits.
As if he had read their minds, the male nurse continued, "You three can work for it around the hospital. We have plenty of simple odd jobs needing doing that you three would be perfect for." His fellow doctors and nurses nodded in agreement.
Granny bent down to look the little fillies in the eye. "Ah ain't gonna tell yore parents about this," she assured them with a wink. "It was an honest mistake an' y'all didn't mean no harm. An' Applejack, Ah ain't even gonna ground ya or tell yer Ma an' Pa when they git home from their business trip. Ah jus' want y'all t' promise not t' go tryin' fool things like this no more."
"We promise," they chorused, relieved.
"Good." The elderly mare straightened up, wincing slightly as her bones creaked. "Then run along now, b'fore one of the ponies ya fed mud to sees ya an' comes after ya. Ah bet they have quite a bit t' say t' y'all, an' none o' it's gonna be good. An' make shore ya come back here t'morrow t' start workin' off th' money ya owe!"
The fillies didn't need to be told twice. They beat a hasty retreat, running as far away from the hospital as they could. When they finally stopped for a breather, Applejack's first reaction was to glare at Rainbow and cuff her across the shoulder. "Rainbow Dash!! Why th' hay did ya have t' pick mud pie fer our first bakin' experiment?!"
"How was I supposed to know it wasn't made with real mud?" she fired back. "Besides, I didn't see you thinking it was weird that ponies would eat mud!"
Applejack deflated. She knew her best friend was right. "Ah jus' feel so awful," she murmured. "Ah mean, we said we were gonna help ponies, an' all we did was hurt 'em."
"Oh, Applejack, don't feel bad," Rarity consoled her, wrapping a foreleg around her thickset shoulders. "We're going to make up for it by paying their bills for them. And at least we know not to use mud in our cooking ever again."
"True," Rainbow agreed with a little smirk. "And you know what else, guys? If I had to get into trouble like this... well, I'm glad I got to get into it with you." She wrapped her two best friends into a hug.
Applejack chuckled. "Me too, Dash."
"And me," Rarity chimed in.
The three of them caught each other's eyes and burst out laughing. Still holding each other's hooves, they lay down on the grass in a circle, their ears brushing together. Their eyes were bright and hopeful. As long as they had each other, they knew that everything was going to be alright.
***
"And that,"Rarity finished, "was Ponyville's first taste of our mischief. And, believe me, it wasn't the last."
The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat in awed silence. "Wow," Scootaloo finally said. "Just... wow."
"Yeah. Tell me about it." Rainbow Dash ruffled her wings and flashed her little sister a smirk. "Still, it's pretty funny when you think about it, huh?"
Apple Bloom giggled. "Uh-huh. But what about all those ponies in th' hospital? Did they forgive ya?"
"Uh... eventually," Applejack answered with a shamefaced smile. "Most of 'em were real nice about it, but a couple of 'em made us apologize again. An' it took us a whole four months t' pay all th' hospital bills."
The Crusaders sucked in a breath. They couldn't imagine having to be in debt for that long. The most they'd ever had to pay somepony was a hundred bits for accidentally breaking the pony's front door when they tried to enter it without making a sound, back when they'd been trying to get their cutie mark in burglary. Which, admittedly, had perhaps not been the best idea in the first place.
Rainbow's eyes flicked over to the clock and she did a double-take. "Wow. That time already? I gotta go. I'm late for my weather shift."
"Make sure y'all give me some sun over th' east orchard," Applejack said (she really was rather good at phrasing requests as authoritative statements). "Th' trees ain't gettin' enough light."
"We'll see," Rainbow replied casually, but everypony in the room knew that she was instantly going to make Applejack's request her top priority. She just liked to pretend to be offhanded about such things. "I'll catch you guys later."
"When are we going to get to hear more stories?" Sweetie Belle demanded.
"How 'bout tomorrow? You can all come over to my place."
AJ rolled her eyes. "Darlin', we can't fly."
"Oh, right..." She chuckled sheepishly. "Forgot."
"It's fine. We can meet over at Sweet Apple Acres t'morrow..." Applejack's voice faltered as she glanced down at the table and noticed the absence of something very important. "Hey. Where'd mah chocolate tea cake go?"
Rainbow looked around shiftily for an escape route.
Applejack, being a remarkably perceptive pony, picked up on her friend's behavior instantly. "Ya ate it, didn't ya," she accused her flatly.
"Um, no?" Dash attempted a disarming smile.
"Rainbow Danger Dash, y'all have never been in more danger than yore in right now. 'Cept fer that time ya tried t' sneak into mah house in th' middle o' th' night an' steal mah hat from right under mah nose. Yore talking t' th' Element o' Honesty, ya dope! Ah can tell when yore lyin'!"
Rainbow grimaced at the mention of her wrongdoings. "Can we talk about this reasonably?"
"No. That tea cake was mine!"
Dash nodded. "Fair enough." Without wasting another second, she turned tail and fled, bursting out of the front door before anypony could even react. She knew that she needed to be speedy to escape Applejack.
Applejack sighed and tipped her hat to Rarity. "Beg pardon fer leavin' so soon, Rarity, but Ah got a crazy pegasus t' chase."
"Oh, not at all, Applejack," the unicorn replied graciously. "A stolen tea cake is a serious matter indeed. May I ask what you're going to do to her when you catch her?"
The farmpony huffed a laugh, her eyes glimmering with fun. "Tickle her 'til she begs fer mercy." With that, she galloped over to the front door and sped out of the boutique, her tail swirling in a haze of gold behind her.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders stared at each other as the boutique's front door banged shut. "Our big sisters didn't take us home," Scootaloo noted slowly.
"An' we know what that means," Apple Bloom grinned, raising her eyebrows at her friends.
"YEAH! CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS HAVING-A-SLEEPOVER-AT-RARITY'S-HOUSE! YAY!" they chanted together.
Rarity's eyes bugged out. "What?!"
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Whoo! Let's do this!
Personalized bondage gear. Hot.
Maybe commas between the "tell us"s?
Didn't she just learn how to properly levetate things with her magic?
And, y'know, almost kill a ton of ponies...
Don't worry, this was still great. Looking forwards to the next chapter! Have fun with exams, I know I will...hahahahahahah
I love the idea that even when young, rainbow dash still had a ninja suit.
Actually, the MLP characters can throw up. I'm pretty sure that in the episode Applebuck Season, there are ponies that throw up. Remember the baked-bads?
This was a really enjoyable story, and it most certainly made my day.
(Happy pony parade for you!)
I especially enjoyed this quote:
Her middle name is actually danger? That's...that's awesome. Thanks for writing!
*Inception bwong
Camera zooms in and tilts slightly.
8114532 indeed. 24 seconds in:
8114152
You're right, she did learn to properly levitate things. She could have levitated the mud,but she still had to be able to squish it together, which she couldn't do with her horn yet.
Well, that was my thought anyway. I somehow forgot to mention it in the story
Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed!
8114196
LOL me too:)
8114532
No, I know the mlp characters can throw up. I'm talking about actual Earth horses. I only mentioned it in case there were any horse nerds (like me) who pointed it out. ;)
8114925
Thank you! That's the best parade ever;)
That was my favorite quote too
8116234
Wait... I'm a bit dumb... what the hay is an inception bwong
8116444
That would be the look on her face;)
8125859 A sound effect. Look it up on YouTube.
8125848 Now i need to see a picture of young and older Dashie with the ninja suit on.
8125900
Lol will do;)
8125906
Lol same. Wish I had someone to make me fanart cause then I'd totally ask for that;)
So Rainbow does something bad an it's RARITY who has the pay the price? Not cool Rainbow....NOT COOL!
Real mud? And they were dead serious in all this?
8438874
What can I say? Gotta get a story from somewhere ;)
8443257
Well, it's not a bad place for an internship.
8443257
So now wot?