Search for the Unknown!

Cutie Mark(ed) Crusaders2,629 stories ·499 members

Equestria is a land full of mystery, wonder, and of course questions with answers hidden from the truth of the public's eyes. Follow one intrepid group searching for the truth in a seemingly peaceful town.

They may also be idiots who are taking this way to seriously.

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 4 )

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BellChime

BellChime #1 · Apr 7th, 2017 · · · Scootaloo ·

This could be interesting...please, continue! Although some of the pony's dialogue could use more emotion and punctuation, it's very good.
For Example...

Cheerilee huffed in annoyance “She attended my class. Seriously why are you asking about a foal and recording everything I say with a camera?”

To This

Cheerilee huffed in annoyance. “She attended my class. Seriously, Why are you asking about a foal and recording everything I say with a camera?”

AND...
THIS

Cheerilee took a deep breath and walked over to the windows. She opened them up and suddenly shouted “Guards! I’ve got some creeps asking about the location of a filly’s home!”

TO THIS

Cheerilee took a deep breath and walked over to the windows. She opened one up, quickly stuck her head out, and yelled, “GUARDS!!! I’ve got some creeps asking about the location of a filly’s home!”

So, punctuation could use work but that's it. You should do more!

qwefg