Teatime - A Novel Of Twilight & Celestia

by bigbear

Chapter 31 - Reflection

Twilight paced in circles around the great oak desk in her office. Occasionally she would stop, pick up her quill, and consider writing on a parchment on the desk. But she would shake her head, return to quill to the holder, and resume pacing. Her mind was racing in tight little circles and she was trying very hard not to freak out.

An unexpected rap on the door surprised Twilight. She cried out and jumped halfway to the ceiling.

At the outcry, Spike flung open the door. “Is everything alright?” he called.

Twilight recovered her senses and flapped her wings to keep from crashing to the floor. She succeeded, but the downwash blew a blizzard of papers off her desk and into the air.

“Geez, Twilight, jumpy much?” Spike saw Twilight was distressed and thought better of his tone. “Sorry I startled you.”

Twilight settled to the floor and surveyed the papers falling about her like big snowflakes. She tucked her wings to her side and let out a deep sigh. “That’s okay, Spike. I’m just… distracted.”

The last of the papers floated to the floor. Spike reached down to start picking them up. “I’ve got this Spike, I know where they go back too,” Twilight said. She lit her horn, and magenta magic enveloped the pages. They floated up off the floor, retraced the arcs they took while falling, and ended up back in their original piles on the desk.

Twilight thumped down onto her favorite desk chair.

Spike closed the office door and hopped up on a stool beside Twilight. “Anything I can do to help?”

“You always help,” she said with a weak smile.

But Spike was not distracted by the praise. “What’s going on? Did something happen at Rarity’s?”

“It’s nothing anypony did,” Twilight said. She put a wing tip on Spike’s shoulder, just to be touching him. “It’s something Rarity said. It’s given me ideas. Crazy, stupid, impossible ideas. And I can’t get them out of my head.” Twilight gave Spike a little squeeze. “Hence the distraction.”

“Did she say something bad about somepony?” Spike asked. “Rarity’s pretty perceptive. But she can be a little more biting these days. It’s all that time she spends in Canterlot.”

Twilight shook her head. “Nothing bad. She was talking to Applejack. But she meant it for me if that makes any sense.”

“Not saying things straight out is also a thing Rarity does,” Spike agreed.

“The fact that Rarity is good at noticing things is why I can’t get what she said out of my brain,” Twilight continued.

“What did she say?”

Twilight blushed and looked away. “It’s too embarrassing. Too crazy.” She sighed. “Too Filly Twilight.”

“Hey, I’ve seen you do more embarrassing things than anypony else,” Spike said. “And I’m still here.”

Twilight leaned over and snuggled Spike close. “You have, haven’t you.”

“Yup!” He smiled.

Twilight released Spike and turned to face him. “Rarity asked Applejack what it means when somepony gives a mare candy and flowers, fancy jewelry and a pretty dress, then invites them to a romantic outing.”

“Sounds like a Rarity question,” Spike said. “Romance is kind of her ‘thing’. Why would that freak you out?”

Twilight was silent for a long time. “Because Princess Celestia has done all those things for me,” she finally whispered.

“And you think…” Spike started.

“I didn’t think anything before,” Twilight interrupted. “But now I can’t think of anything else!”

“Whoa,” Spike said. “If it’s true, that would be big. Bigger than big. Huge even.” He looked up at Twilight. Her eyes shimmered and she looked conflicted. “Do you want it to be true?” he asked.

“Oh, Spike, I don’t know,” Twilight replied. “Having a relationship like that with Celestia would be a filly-hood dream come true.” She took a deep breath and sat up straighter. “But I’m not a filly anymore. I shouldn’t let an old crush ruin one of the most important relationships in my life.”

“It doesn’t have to ruin anything,” Spike said. “It didn’t for Rarity and me.”

“You told her…” Twilight started.

“That I had feelings for her? Ya. Last year.” Spike said. He stood up very straight when he spoke.

Twilight was struck again how much he’d grown. “I knew you had a crush on Rarity. I tried to keep track of what was going on so you didn’t get hurt. How come I didn’t hear about this?”

“It was only between Rarity and me,” Spike said. “We talked. She said she loved me, but not that way. We agreed to remain friends and she kissed me on the cheek.” Spike’s eyes got moist and a grin spread across his face. “Then we spent three hours talking and laughing about old times.”

“I’m so oblivious,” Twilight said. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help.”

“But you were,” Spike replied, “When I got home, I scarfed down a triple recipe worth of nachos all by myself.” Spike patted his potbelly. “I woke up in the morning with a roaring tummy ache and feeling real down. You told me to stay in bed, brought me hot soup and my comic books, and even went to Zecora's to get medicine.” Spike smiled. “When I felt better, we did errands together. You didn’t leave me alone all day.” He got a serious look. “Don’t think I didn’t appreciate what you did for me. You helped a lot.”

Spike’s kind words made Twilight feel better. The next question was hard. But Twilight thought it was important there be no secrets between them. “Did Rarity say if it was the age thing, or the pony/dragon thing, or…”

“It was a Rarity/Spike thing,” he said. “The heart wants what the heart wants. I wanted her, but she wanted something else, simple as that. She’s still a very special friend.”

“Do you have your heart set on another?” Twilight asked. “Some dragon, perhaps?”

“Not right now.” Spike shook his head. “But there’s room in my life when the right one comes along.”

Twilight’s grin was wide enough to split her muzzle. She enveloped Spike in a great wing-hug. “You’ve become a fine, mature, dragon.” Spike leaned in and hugged Twilight back. They held each other for a long time.

After they released the hug, Spike asked, “So, what are you going to do about your situation with Princess Celestia?”

“I don’t know, Spike,” Twilight replied. “How can I be sure what I’m feeling is real?”

Spike looked thoughtful, then brightened. “We can do an experiment!”

Twilight looked at him and scrunched her muzzle.

“This’ll work,” Spike said. “Give it a chance.”

“Okay, what’s the experiment?”

“You mentioned a filly-hood crush on Princess Celestia,” Spike said. “Describe her to me the way Filly Twilight would have.”

In a high squeaky voice, Twilight said, ”Princess Celestia is wise, kind and knows a lot of magic. She’s smart, powerful, and very beautiful.” She hesitated, and then slipped back into her normal voice. “She wasn't just a pony. The sun literally rose and set on her. She seemed all knowing. All powerful. All loving. She was my everything. She was perfect.” Twilight sighed. “When Celestia smiled at me, I didn’t feel worried or unsure. I felt like I could do anything, especially if it was for her.”

Spike grinned at her Filly Twilight voice, then got serious again. He put his elbows on the desk and crossed his arms. “Describe Princess Celestia as you see her now.”

“I’d still say she’s wise and kind, powerful and beautiful.” She fluffed her wings before continuing. “But she’s not perfect. She carries a lot of guilt for things she did in the past…”

“Things with Luna?” Spike asked.

“Things like that,” Twilight agreed. That was enough detail for Spike. Twilight would never betray Celestia’s secrets. She continued, “Celestia’s a joker. She likes to surprise ponies and even be silly.”

“Like inviting Discord to the Gala to liven things up?” Spike asked.

“Or starting a pillow fight with Luna and me,” Twilight responded.

“You’ve got to tell me that story someday!” Spike cried.

“Maybe someday.” Twilight grinned and went on. “Sometimes Celestia lets ponies get away with things in court because she doesn’t want to have a confrontation.” She glanced up while remembering. “Celestia eats too much cake when she’s stressed... sometimes because she let ponies get away with stuff.”

“Does any of that make you care for her less?” Spike asked.

“Of course not,” Twilight snapped back. “Those are things I love about her and things I can help her with.”

“Sounds like you think of her as a pony now,” Spike said.

Twilight got a far away look. “You’re right, Spike. She’s an amazing, wonderful, flawed pony that I care about very much.” She draped her wing over Spike’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Now I just have to figure out what to say to her.”

Comments

[darkszero]

Way to go Spike!

[theomegabrony]

Bigbear another wonderful chapter. Out of curiosity are you a fan of Dragon Ball Z because they go for the epic build up too. Good work.

[Tagan]

oh, delightful. The slow, realistic progression is wonderful.

[Purple-Smart Heart]

8203843

I quite agree. I've enjoyed many a Twilestia one shot, literally over one hundred, but it really is nice to steep (buh dum tish) in the extended character development! Especially as well written as it is.