• Member Since 2nd Apr, 2016
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Queen Sanguine Dreams


Thank you for reading and commenting on any of my stories! Donation? https://www.paypal.me/Brianpasquali or https://www.patreon.com/SannyWriting and many thanks for supporting me!


Featured In1

E

The Galactic Empire discovers an odd star system in the outer rim. Tasked with scouting the first planet in the system, Scout Trooper TS-588 and her partner TS-571 make unintentional first contact with a new alien life form.

Ponies.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 69 )

Well, a good idea to get over a writing blockade, that's what I do, writing on anoter story when stuck at one. A Star wars story rating everyone with my favorite Star wars faction the empire is rare to find here. Interesting too. You got my fave. You should countinue this.

Is this story set in the Legends canon or the mouse canon? Interesting start and I get the feeling that these two Scout Troopers have had nothing but a series of bad luck. Let's see if the ponies can doge the oppression of the Empire.

hehe, i know this is you just dealing with writers block. but keep going! i wanna see were this leads.

Half-decent Star Wars Crossovers from the perspective of a soldier in the Empire are hard to find (or a half-decent crossover for that matter, so I suggest you continue...

8104490 I hope not. Sith creed all the way!

This is good.

8104680 I agree with this one!

I'm gonna watch this one. I'm planning on publishing a Star Wars Story of my own soon, So I want to see where this goes.

So... if the Stormtroopers get into a fight with the royal guard, who's gonna hit first in the 24 Hour mark?

Joking aside, this is great! It must be embarrassing for those 2 to be defeated by midget bears and beaten by sticks... and seeing their coworkers devoured.

I like where this seems to be going.

Well, "crossover characters landing/teleporting/resurrecting/... in Equestria" fanfics are legion. But what matters is where you plan to go in this story. Do you intend to have a limited merging with just the 2 troopers (staying a while or indefinitely), or have major SW characters and armies coming in, ponies going in space for various possible reasons, ...
For example, there is a MLP/SW fic in which Grievous crashes in the Everfree forest, and after a more or less calm moment, fleets of the Republic and of the Separatists barge in along with Obi-Wan, war ensues, and it's followed by a sequel in which Luna becomes Vader's apprentice, Celestia becomes (despite herself) an imperial governor and Twilight spacetravels to find rebels. You should definitely give it a try if you haven't already, and maybe it could give you some good ideas.

Hmm.... i have a feeling telling me that the rebels will show up at some point.... might be wrong, might be right:applejackunsure:

Liked, favorited, up voted, shared and retweeted.

Because Stoormtroopers.

8106014

The sad part is it looks like the sequel is dead.

8106532
The author is still there. Hopefully he will put this very good fanfic, and his other very good crossovers, back on track soon.

8105330
We don't look very scary either; no fangs (Actually some people do have pronounced canines, but most don't), no claws, no tails, not thick scales or hide, no wings or gills....we'd look pretty helpless too to an outsider unless they were much shorter than us, but that would only give for size intimidation.....and then they leave us unsupervised near their star ship's controls or their armory.

As a self described starwars nerd you get my vote love the empire

Comment posted by Ether Echoes deleted April 20th

:heart:
Been a huge Star Wars fan since 1977(?).

This looks really cool. Looking forward to more!

Nifty, should be interesting to see where this goes next.

OH, Twilight... Leave it to Rainbow to get twilight into the mess and not herself. Soooo, Rainbow. :twilightsmile: Can't wait to see seventy-one try to talk to twilight. Now that they know she's not just your average dumb animal.

8107432 Which do you prefer in fanfiction, a nice Empire or evil Empire?

You know, one would expect at this point Timberwolves and Manticores would avoid humans visiting Equestria like the plague. :twistnerd:

D48

I like that you are using regular stormtroopers as your focus here rather than someone more important, but the rest of the story has some serious problems which isn't a good sign this early.

The first is that your timing on the Star Wars side is flat out impossible because you first reference the Emperor as if he's alive and later reference the Ewoks from the Battle of Endor which is when the emperor got killed (and the Empire more or less instantly crumbled if memory serves which makes it even worse). This is an easy fix since deleting either reference would make the timeline possible, but the fact that it happened at all makes it painfully obvious that you didn't bother to pick a point on the timeline for this story which is a very bad sign for the rest of your planning.

The second is the characterization of the ponies. There isn't really much to say here, because there simply isn't any. Both characters feel like flat cutouts which exist only to move the plot forwards with a few tiny nods to the most basic elements of their characters. That does a huge disservice to their characters and seriously hurts the work as a whole, so you really need to pay more attention to this in future chapters.

The third is the structure of the plot. While using regular troopers is different, everything else feels very generic with them rushing into a quick first contact and throwing some wildlife into the mix rather than actually exploring the characters and situation.

Anyways, I'll keep an eye on it for now since there is plenty of room to fix these problems in the next chapter, but my expectations are low at this point.

8108844 #1 keep in mind that there was an imperial bass on the moon of endor, so good chance they already encountered them and had some minor issues from them

#2 Don't really know what you're talking about here? :rainbowhuh: they seemed pretty spot in to me. Just not the main focus

#3 the troopers felt semi flushed out, with plenty of room for building on them in the future. And how would all that commotion happen WITHOUT attracting some predator in the everfree?! We have seen them time and time again take any chance they have to attack what they view as potential pray, no matter what's up with it. "Baby dragon that breaths fire, one of the only things that can hurt us? Let's go try and eat it!"

And as for the "generic" rushing into first contact? They reacted way smarter and realistically then most of what you'll see on this site, with actively trying to avoid any hostilities by switching to stun because it might be a pet? And what were Twilight and Rainbow meant to think? "Oh there was a meteor that crashed around here and now there are seemingly intelligent creatures here. Must be aliens, of which we have never seen any signs of existing in the past, and not yet another undiscovered race, of which there are a ton of!"?

Sanguine did a pretty damn solid job on this! And all of your "criticism" pretty much fell flat :derpytongue2:

Eh, its interesting I'll give it that much. Just one nit-picky thing, why would Twilight take their weapons and destroy them? Not only is it a sign of outright aggression on her part, it also ruins her chance of studying them. She had no reason to take and destroy them, because they were not hostile to her yet.

She has failed both as a diplomat and a scientist.


So, this is the Empire we're talking about here, the Sith, not the Jedi, this does not bode well seeing the interest that such a system will garner from the Sith, what with the sun orbiting the planet and the diverse species and the MAGIC, which can very well be mistaken for the Force.

Speaking of, how do these scout troopers not make any comparison between Twilight's telekinesis and the force? I mean, it's such an obvious similarity it's hard NOT to make a comparison.

I'm predicting fights between Jedi and Sith over Equestria. Doesn't seem like something either side would want their enemies to have. Would give them quite the advantage, what with every unicorn able to use magic and Pegasus flight and earth pony strength, etc etc.

I'd imagine one unicorn could devastate both armies before a Jedi or Sith came into play. And even then, they'd have trouble. The Force can only do so much compared to magic. My thinking is that only the Emperor or Yoda could properly fight a competent Unicorn like pre-ascension Twilight, and even then, they wouldn't be able to fight at all against Princess Celestia or Luna.

My reasoning behind that is that we've only ever seen Telekinesis, mind manipulation, lightning, double-jumping, oracular senses and strength/speed/reflex enhancements from the Force. Whereas we've seen transfiguration, telekinesis, arcane bolts, arcane beams, teleportation, mind alteration, shields, time manipulation, shadow blending, weather manipulation, lightning, illusions, etc etc, from Magic. And of those things, the Force has only ever been shown to be able to lift objects in the weight class of a shipping crate, manipulate the minds of only certain races and medium to low-willed persons and produce lightning locally only from the fingers of certain individuals. Whereas with magic, we've seen living things turned into other living or inanimate things, objects lifted in the weight class of a friggin Star, mind alteration of a fairly-strong willed individual, arcane bolts larger than the body of the individual producing it, shields strong enough to hold off an army while encompassing an entire castle-city, time magic strong enough to go back a minimum of 5 years multiple times, shadow blending strong enough to produce shadows ten times the amount that would come from one body, lightning production non-locally in a storm-like setting, illusions realistic enough to fool an entire city, etc etc.

To be entirely honest, the Force to magic is like a candle to a flame.

That was dumb on Twilight's part with crushing the blasters. Yeah it's a Timber Wolf, but they were defending themselves!

8111472 twi's a pacifist so, I'd say she's about to arrest them for"brutally murdering an 'innocent creature' of the forest!"

8108844 To be fair, the Empire had to have been on Endor long enough to build the second Death Star, so they could have been some of the early explorers trying to find a place to build the shield generator.

D48

8113316 ...And if the Eimpire had had issues with the Ewoks before, the Emperor would have had them exterminated and the forest pushed much further back to make sure the generator complex was safe. Since he obviously didn't flatten everything in the area with orbital bombardment (and I'm fairly sure these are supposed to be two scout troopers we saw taken out in the movie based on the description of what happened), I think it's safe to say that wasn't the case.

8108665 I like to point out the good that the empire actually dose like technological advancement and bringing order to a large portion of the Galaxy I wish that they weren't so easy to hate with the crack down and what not and blowing up planets

8119479 They do blow things up a lot. :twilightoops: I always like when we follow members of the Empire. It's always nice to see their point of view. I have high hopes about how this story. I hope Twilight befriends the troopers.

Okay, I'm interested and I hope you continue this story.

The admiral mentioned in your story, I hope it's Thrawn.

Twilight shouldn't have done that, the Empire won't take it too kindly. Send an entire fleet!

:rainbowlaugh:Adorable Indeed, fluttershy. Trooper Tee Party! And that with the ewoks makes sense, leaving them alive to Deal with the other trouble makers. Great job, the force is strong in you and this Chapter. (And the story Overall)

Now that you mention it Equestria is a bit like Naboo. Except, hopefully, Twilight is able to wreck Vader in a fight.

8121701 and no Jar-Jar character that gives all power to the obvious bad guy.

Please continue

She thinks they're adorable until she meets an Imperial Officer who doesn't take it too kindly on what they did to the troopers.

Certainly intriguing. I'll keep an eye on this one; it'll be interesting to see how you integrate the two settings.

Comment posted by GaruuSpike deleted April 26th

Pffffff only flutter would find humans adorable.:rainbowkiss:

8121830

I agree, this is getting interesting.

Got some weird continuity bunnies in here on the Star Wars end.

As for Dantooine and Taris, didn't those places get slagged by the sith fleet?

And how would the Emperor give orders after they've been to Endor, seeing as he kinda died on the second death star? (Or is this taking place before RotJ, but after the base was set up?)

8124505

Takes place during Empire Strikes Back, and Dantooine + Taris were glassed thousands of years ago by the time of the Galactic Civil War. They would've recovered by now.

Login or register to comment