Chapter Twenty Two - Lunch at Dawn
For some unknown reason today I awoke earlier than I usually do, and when I say earlier I mean extremely early. Just looking outside at the moonlit sky could tell just about anyone that. I don’t know if it was the new journey me and Celestia were about to embark on that was making me wake up at this ungodly hour; or if it was just a fluke. Nevertheless, whether it is a fluke or not, I was going to make the best of this rare occasion.
Sliding through the corridors like a ninja avoiding the guard's looks of disappointment, I soon found myself in front of Celestia's chamber. The guards posted outside stood ever vigilant of their beloved and benevolent goddess. As if to test their loyalty I stepped forward seeking entry. However, being the honor-bound soldiers they were, they crossed their halberds denying me entrance.
“Come on guys, let a brother through?” I asked… and waited...
Rolling my eyes, I remembered my predicament here in Equestria. I the lowly human, did not speak their foreign -or in this case local- language. But I wasn’t going to let that stand in my way of pulling off one of the most dubious of stunts this world has ever known. An operation so serious I dubbed it ‘Lunch at Dawn’.
Seeing as the two guards wouldn’t let me in, and her room was the only one on this level. I opted to simply -albeit innocently- walk further down the corridor and down a flight of stairs till I came upon the room below hers. Since nobody was using these premium guest suites, the guards didn’t think they had to defend them. Sadly, that was their mistake. A room below the princesses should always be guarded. In hindsight, there shouldn’t be a room at all on either side of hers, but I digress.
Opening the door slowly, I come to see the room just like I planned it to be, empty. With a smile making its way onto my face; I walked over to the end of the room where a window depicting the city lay. Reaching over I undid the clasp, opened the window, and climbed out onto the ledge.
Looking down, I could see the Canterlot gardens five stories away. A small pond lay just below the balcony. It was all very peaceful, but peaceful wasn’t my intentions for breaking into this room. No, instead I looked up towards the grand balcony of Celestia's chambers. It would be tricky with the stone walls, but I knew that it was possible. After all, I was a pretty good climber.
Placing my foot on the first crevasse in between the stone bricks, I started my assent. Time was of the essence here and if I messed up there would be no second chances. Mostly because I would probably die falling from this height, and secondly my window of opportunity would pass should I survive the fall.
Thankfully, my climbing skills didn’t let me down in a quite literal way. Instead, they allowed me to position myself right below the balcony. Everything was coming together nicely, the only thing I had to do now was wait.
As fate had it, I didn’t have to wait long. Since it only took five minutes after getting here for me to hear the balcony doors swing open. Laying my hands on the bottom of the balcony I readied myself for the attack.
Waiting just a little bit longer, the distinct chime of her magic resonated from above. Looking over to the horizon I witnessed the sun slowly begin to rise.
“It’s now or never” I commented as I attempted to pull myself up. I say ‘attempted’ because I forgot just how hard it is to do a pull-up. Looking back at the horizon I could see my time was running out. Panicking I pushed with all my might to fling me just high enough so Celestia could see my face.
“Morning sunshine!” I yelled.
Just like I planned, Celestia jumped from my sudden appearance, bringing the sun with her. Within a matter of seconds, six hours had passed as the sun stopped high in the sky. Pulling the rest of myself up I leaned up on the outside of the balcony.
“Or should I say good afternoon?” I pondered as Celestia recovered from her miniature heart attack. As she did so, I continued, “you know it's very hypocritical of you to call me out for sleeping in yesterday when you, yourself did it today.”
Finally recomposing herself, Celestia narrowed her eyes at me, “You tread in dangerous waters, Kenneth.”
“I beg to diff-” was all I could say before Celestia pushed me over the edge.
As I lay there in the open air, falling to my demise. I realized two things, one Celestia is a sore loser and two that water feels like concrete when dropped from this height. As my eyes opened wide from this realization I could hear the voice of Celestia call out.
“Enjoy your swim.”
It was at that moment, milliseconds before impacting the water's surface. That I came to the conclusion that I was in love. That the white mare above me walking back into her room would bring me eternal happiness and everlasting pain.
It took me forever to swim to the edge of the pond. Not only that, but I was sore all over from the impact. At least it's good to know that I can indeed fall five stories into a pond and live. Nonetheless, I now trudged through the hallways soaking wet and covered in mud on my way to the one place I knew Celestia would be.
Every step I took made that funny wet plastic sound, and every guard I came across stifled their chuckles. I won't lie, she got me back pretty good, but if anyone is more stubborn than Celestia is, it’s me.
Opening the doors to the royal dining area, I come to see Celestia and Luna eating their respective morning meals. I would have to remind myself to pat myself on the back for finding my way here in this maze of a castle, but that was going to have to wait. Instead, I had a little revenge of a revenge cooking up.
“Looks like the mutt got a wash,” Luna commented the minute I walked in, "serves him right." As expected from the moon mare, she didn’t hold enough respect in her to stifle her laughs. Instead, she left the gates wide open. All was fine, I didn’t respond instead, I continued to walk towards them.
On the other side of things, Celestia just sat there eating with a little smirk on her muzzle. It was fine, I really didn’t need her to say anything. In fact, the only thing I needed the both of them to do was exist for the next two minutes.
Finally laying her eyes on me for the first time since I arrived, Celestia instantly figured out what was brewing in my mind. She, however, was too late. I was already standing right beside the two.
With a large smile between the two of them, I said, “Who wants a hug?”
Luna’s horn was the first to glow, so she was the first one to fall victim to my sloppy hug. My right arm extended and pulled her in. By the time she managed to wiggle out she was properly covered in wet mud. Reaching out my other arm to get Celestia in here, I find myself grabbing air. Turning around to lock onto my main target, I come to find her slowly trotting towards the exit.
“OI! Where the hell do you think you’re going?” I exclaimed causing her to start running.
Rolling my eyes, I chased after her. Leaving a rather confused and tad bit angry Luna alone in the dining room.
It wasn’t long till I was right behind her. Either she was too focused on running she forgot she had magic, or she was leading me into another… ah shit.
With a quick teleport, she vanished leaving me to run right into a maid pony fluffing pillows. I guess it was just my luck that in attempting to stop, I slipped on the floor and continued on my collision course with said maid. What happened to the pillow? Well nothing really, unlike every cartoon ever made it just kinda fell to the floor instead of blowing up. Happy that I avoided further embarrassment, and yet another cliche, I offered the maid my hand.
Accepting my token of gratitude, the maid grabbed my hand and pulled herself up. However, during the process of standing up, she slipped on the wet mud and fell onto the pillow. This, of course, caused one end to blow shooting feathers directly onto me.
“Of course...” I mumbled as the maid on the ground chuckled at my expense.
Another snap, crackle, and pop were heard behind me as a light flashed. Turning around I come to see Celestia smiling with an old 1920’s camera. I should have known there was more to her counter-attack then just feathers. Another flash of the camera and Celestia spoke up.
“Truce?” she offered holding out her hoof.
Walking over to her with my outstretched hand I said, “Tru-” Before embracing her in another sloppy hug. Letting go I left her looking just as goofy as me. I, however, wasn’t done as I took the camera from her hoof, pulled her in with my right arm and took the first selfie I’ve ever taken in my life.
Celestia was still left somewhat shocked as I brought the camera down. To be honest, the both of us looked like a couple of idiots in the middle of the hallway covered in feathers and mud.
“Now that's a picture worth taking,” I commented with a little chuckle.
“Using an act of peace to strike is not fair,” Celestia quipped.
Bending down to her level I replied, “All is fair in the game of love and war.” before giving her a quick peck on the cheek.
Wiping some of the mud and feathers off of her the two of us continued down the hall, “Well now we both have to take another shower.”
“Jokes on you I didn’t shower today,” I replied with a small smile.
I’m pretty sure Celestia was about to say ‘ew’ when she instead broke out into a fit of laughter. I myself didn’t find my line to be that humorous, so I just stood there watching Celestia as she tried to recompose herself. Yet, every time she tried she would just look at me and start up again.
Rolling my eyes at her antics I bud in, “It wasn’t that funny.”
Finally calming down she wiped a tear from her eye, “It's not that.” Taking another breath she continued, “I just found it so stupid that this was the first time somepony has told me something like that. You know how many ponies are afraid to just talk with a princess let alone tell them that they haven't showered.”
“I guess, either way, you ruined the only good clothes I have.”
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. The mare I had make some clothes for you came in two days ago. I have them in my chambers.”
“You had them all this time!” I exclaim.
“I was going to tell you, but things got it the way,” Celestia explained avoiding eye contact. Just like I deduced from before ponies are really bad lairs. While I have the right to call her out, I didn’t. Instead, I let her lead me to her chambers where she promptly gave me my new clothes.
While it did take over a week to make them, looking at them now I can understand why. Altogether there were five sets of clothes. The shirts were made out of some fine fabric that felt amazing to the touch. While the pants seemed durable enough to take a large beating. That is to say, they didn’t skimp out on the material for they were double lined with a soft interior.
Looking closer one could applaud the craftsmanship as the seams were expertly sewn. Each one looked to be hand -or in this case hoof- made with no cutting corners. To tie it all together each set accented the other with the final cherry on the top being that they even managed to bundle in some underwear and socks.
Holding the rather large pile of clothes in my hands, I looked up towards Celestia, “You really weren’t lying when you said you were going all out. These things must have cost a fortune. I can only imagine how long it took them without any references.”
“The pony I had working on them is quite the kind mare. She offered to make them free of charge, claiming the challenge and the honor of making clothes by royalties request were enough. I, however, insisted I give her just dues.” Celestia explained.
“Rightfully so, she did an amazing job,” I replied still gawking at the clothing.
Still checking out the different pieces, Celestia cleared her throat. Looking up I can see her nodding her head to the door. I knew what she wanted but that didn’t make it any less confusing to me. They were ponies that had no such thing as modesty when it came to clothing. Yet here she was telling me to go outside because she was going to take a shower.
As a human, I no doubt see the meaning behind it, but with this particular topic at hand, I just had to ask, ”So ponies do have a form of privacy. Weird I see you naked all the time, why does it change as soon as you shower?”
Celestia's face adorned a nice shade of scarlet, “It is uncouth for a stallion to see a mare wash. A mare that washes in front of a stallion is the same as her offering her goods.”
“I see, you ponies are weird,” I replied bundling up the clothes and walking towards the exit of her chambers.
The guards on the other side stood like they always did. Their endless gaze forward reminding me of the queen's guards back on earth. I contemplated trying to make them move, but decided against it as I had caused enough shenanigans today.
Since it was only a couple floors down, getting to my room took no time at all. Opening up my door, I immediately tossed my clothes onto the bed and opened up the door to the bathroom. Closing the door behind me I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw another reflection of a black haze in the shape of a man behind me in the mirror.
“Jesus Christ!” I yelled snapping back towards the door only to find nothing there. Heart still ready to burst I turned back to the mirror to see the figure gone. The only indication it was ever there was my heavy breathing as I attempted to calm myself down.
Chalking it up to my eyes playing tricks on me as I walked over to the shower and started it up. Thankfully here in Equestria, the showers were relatively the same. One lever for the hot and another for the cold. However, being a human, I could never find the perfect temperature. So instead I opted to just have a slightly warmer shower.
Stripping down to my birthday suit, I stepped into the shower and began the process of cleaning myself. It felt amazing to once again have all the grime pour off me, to be clean once again. It wasn’t till stepping out of the shower that my smile faded in a sigh of contentment. A huge step forward in my frame of mind was made as I walked back into my room and put on the first set of clothes the kind mare made for me.
The white t-shirt and cargo shorts fitting me perfectly as I slipped them on. Not to mention a stark difference to the warn tux I was wearing before. Speaking of the tux I walked back to the bathroom and moved the tux I was wearing into a nearby hamper. I assumed since this was a castle that the clothes would be washed by some sort of maid.
Worst comes to worst I have somepony throw away my already ruined tux. I’m sure I just made the tailor who created it rip his mane out. His hard work destroyed at the hands of a human pulling a little prank.
Nevertheless, after the tux was placed in the hamper I heard the tell-tale knock on the door. To be honest I’m actually quite surprised that Celestia would be done so soon. Walking up to the door to my room I opened it up to come across Ruby and Sapphire rather than Celestia. Which surprised me, mostly due to the fact that they were able to get past all the guards.
“How the hell did you two get in?” I question not even bothering to ask how they knew which room I was in.
Ruby rolled her eyes, while Sapphire replied, “Didn’t your mother teach you manners.”
It at this time that my own eyes rolled, “Didn’t YOUR mother tell you not to STALK people.”
“She told us not to stalk ponies, she never said anything about stal- -ume- s” was all Ruby could say before Sapphire's hoof was properly lodged in her mouth.
“We aren't stalking you, we just came by to ask how things are since the last time we’ve seen you,” Sapphire claimed giving me a nudge with her hoof and a little wink.
“Things went pretty well without little outing. Got to know a little bit about he-” Was all I could say before Ruby cut me off.
“The deets man we need the deets!”
These ponies were becoming too used to the English language. Hell, I’m impressed they’re already using slang the right way. Nonetheless, I wasn’t going to hold back, these ponies were the closest things to friends I have in this world. So in knowing so, I let them know the things the press probably would die to hear.
“Oh you mean how we kissed and snuck out the next day to The Coffee Bean to avoid the press,” I relayed with a smug expression.
“Kiss on the first date, sneaking out of the castle, this sounds like the romance novels I read,” Sapphire of all people gushed. Before I could speak Sapphire immediately did a 180 as she noticed the getup I was wearing, “Where did you get those? I thought you were poor.”
“Hay I’m not poor!” I quipped.
“How much bits do you have to your name?” Ruby questioned.
“3 bits” was what my mind said but, “That's none of your business” was what left my mouth.
“See, you’re lucky you’ve got Celestia to lean on,” Ruby continued.
I wasn’t really liking what there's ponies were pointing out. They were essentially telling me I was mooching off of Celestia. Sadly, to tell the truth, I was. I know I went through this exact same situation before, but it still haunted me. I needed to get out of this rut and pull myself together. Maybe I could go back to the labs?
“Ruby!” Sapphire yelled as she whacked her sister in the back of the head.
“What!” Ruby yelled back rubbing the back of her head.
“That's not something you say to someone that has been through what he has been through,” Sapphire commented only to be stopped by me raising my hand.
“While it was rude,” I said giving Ruby the stink eye, “I know it was said with good intentions.”
Ruby smiled sheepishly “No ponies perfect.”
“Indeed not,” Came the all too familiar voice of Celestia.
Yelping in surprise the two mares turned around. While I, myself looked up to see Celestia. One of which was wearing her normal attire plus a large sun hat on. Ironic really, the goddess of the sun wearing a sun hat. Either way, her sun hat had the midnight sun I picked attached to it. It seemed she really liked the flower since she’s willing to use it in most of her ensembles.
“You’re majesty!” The two exclaimed at the same time as they bowed.
Letting a little chuckle escape her lips, Celestia shook her head. “No need for formalities. A friend of Kenneth's is a friend of mine.”
Ruby’s smile seemed to grow being told that she was a friend of the princess. Sapphire on the other hoof looked like she was going to pass out. Together they looked like this was the best day of their lives.
Before, any of them could say anything. Celestia once again spoke up, “Sorry to interrupt your conversation, but do you mares mind if I take him off your hooves? We need to get going to the port.”
“No not at all, by all means, he’s all yours,” Sapphire claimed
“In more ways than one,” Ruby’s joke slipped out causing Sapphire to slam another hoof into the back of her head.
Celestia, seemingly ignoring Ruby’s joke looked over at me and smiled, “I see you’re wearing the new clothes.”
“Well, it’s not like I had much of a choice. It was either this or I go back to my already ruined tux,” I commented only to get a death glare from Sapphire. Right, I forgot to tell them that I wrecked their tux. Ruby on the other hand just winked at me.
“Well, nevertheless we have to get going. The ship leaves at midnight and it's gonna take us half the day to get there.” Celestia lectured.
Once again I got confused looks from both Sapphire and Ruby, “where are you two going if you don’t mind me asking.”
“To the western isle,” Celestia said without hesitation, “some issue has come up and it requires my attention. Kenneth is just tagging along.”
It was then at that moment that I saw the mistake in Celestia's words. Before I could even try and wiggle out of it, Ruby was already asking, “Can we come? I mean the more the merrier!”
“Ruby! How do you expect us to pack in a couple hours!” Sapphire stated rolling her eyes.
“Easy! We just teleport!” and just like that the two were gone.
Looking over to a confused Celestia I started, “Well, this trips going to be an interesting one.”
“They didn’t even wait for my response,” Celestia stated.
“My point exactly,” I commented as we both made our way out of the castle.
Stats
Page generated in 0.033 seconds
Total duration
1,071 users online
1,660,083 hits today, 2,571,732 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
LOL-Priceless!
YAY! And Jesus said "stand up and walk!" It is miracle!
Shenanigans happened, they are happening, and way more will happen! Ah, this was such a joy to read!
And great to see this alive too!
8560295
8640650
8744449
Thanks for the support, makes my day when I finish a chapter and see people enjoying the effort I put into it. I hope to complete this book by the end of this year.
(here's me hoping I know)
8743916
8744717
Yes, I have come back from the dead! Revel in my powers foolish mortals! MWAHAHA!... Okay, that was cringe even by my standards. Anyways hope you enjoy my horse words and follow the development of this novel.
8744926
Glad to see you still read my novel after months of inactivity. A true loyal follower that follows me through my weird pauses between chapters. For some reason life likes to throw everything at me all at once. Maybe this time I'll pull through.
8626199
At the time it seemed like a good idea. As a growing writer I have to fall down at times to realize my mistakes. This was one of those moments for me. Now onto the main question: Will I rewrite it? My answer is probably to make it less jarring as you put it. Maybe add 2 or 3 thousand words fully explaining her frame of mind. Hopefully that will be enough time for the reader to adjust.
I hope this doesn't dissuade you to throw the novel away. Thanks for the support, and for your feedback. Comments like these are what polish stories and made me become the writer I am today.
8594372
This will be fixed. Kenneth in chapter 23 and below dosn't understand Equinish, Equestrian or however you want to say it. Thanks for catching it, I myself would have never of noticed it.
ponies are really bad liars.
This is the problem with spell checkers. If you use the wrong word, but spell it right, you'll probably never notice the mistake without careful proofreading.
to the worn tux
Speaking of the tux, I walked back... (add comma, those are two different thoughts being expressed in one sentence, one is a dependent clause of the other.)
Worst comes to worst, I have somepony... (add comma, same reason as previous.)
“The deets man, we need the deets!” (add comma, those are two sentences in conjunction not one sentence.)
...what these ponies...
One of WHAT? You're missing a detail, there. The sentence implies that he noticed more than one thing mentioned in the previous sentence. However, the only thing mentioned is he sees Celestia. Or were there TWO Celestia's standing there?
...she really liked the flower because she’s willing...
This is a common mistake. Since DOES NOT mean because. Since is time, because is a reason! The proper use of since is, I have been here since five o'clock. The confusion arises because of sentences like "Since he said that, the enemy attacked" which COULD mean either "BECAUSE he said that, the enemy had a reason to attack." or "SINCE the time he said that, the enemy has attacked." This has caused many people to think that because and since are interchangeable. So, unless you are trying to indicate time has passed since something has happened, you should use the word because. If you wanted to use since properly in that sentence, you would need to say: "It seemed she really liked the flower because she had been using it in most of her ensembles ever since I gave it to her."