Broken Mirror

by GMBlackjack

XVIII - A Time of Reconsideration

>> Secrets want to be found, perhaps more than anything else in existence. The moment anyone comes across a secret, the temptation to blurt it out to the world becomes extreme, even if by doing so there would be a betrayal.

Revealed secrets bring sorrow, anger, and destruction. Kept secrets aren't much better. Chances are, that secret will eat away at someone, destroying them from the inside out, warping the way they see and understand things - until it eventually guides their entire lives.

But then there's the alternative of not having any secrets - having everything out in the open. But this fails as well. If everyone knew of every dark action, every dark secret within the minds of everyone... Well, forgiveness can only go so far.

Is ignorance the way to go? Voluntary innocence? Is it possible to deny a secret? Why, yes, but usually it involves skill in lying to yourself and distorting your perception of truth.

Magic is a nice shortcut in that regard.<<

~~~

Rarity woke up the moment the false sun turned on, flooding her room with light. She moaned, slowly opening her eyes. "A new day dawns..."

She crawled out of her bed, stood up, and looked around her room. It was really her room - dresses lined the walls, the windows were dressed in ornate drapes, and an intricate mirror was placed opposing the door. She looked at herself - white, purple mane, blue eyes. She had arrived here as Iris Shard - but there had been no need to keep the disguise after that, though she had forgotten she was wearing it. She felt... liberated here. She worked on her mane, brushing the comb through it briskly, yet freely. She quickly curled her tail and affixed her eyelashes.

"You look great, darling," she said to her reflection. She gracefully sauntered to the door and nudged it open - only to get confetti in her face.

"...Pinkie, what's the occasion?" she asked, brushing the paper scraps out of her eyes. The main hall was covered in streamers, balloons, and confection tables - ready for a real party.

Starlight Glimmer looked over at Rarity from atop a giant cake. "Apparently the one month anniversary of living here is worthy of having a party."

"Starlight's helping me set up!" Pinkie grinned. "Her disco ball doesn't need to be tethered!"

"Right," Rarity shook her head. "Well, I suppose I don't have any urgent orders to complete today..."

"It's clothes. It's never urgent," Starlight observed.

"At least I have a job," Rarity said. "Not sure what I'd do without one..."

"Be me," Minuette said, revealing herself buried under a pillow pile on the couch. "It's liberating."

"Thanks, but no thanks," Rarity rolled her eyes. "The layabout lifestyle just isn't for me."

"Some of us don't really have a choice," Rainbow Dash declared, rolling down the stairs in her new wheelchair - designed specifically by Starlight for use on stairs and rough ground.

"Hi Dashie!" Pinkie waved. "How you doing?"

"I could use a party," she admitted.

"Well you're in luck that's exactly what we have here!"

"Pinks, I can tell there's a damn party here," she snapped, then facehooved. "Sorry."

"No problem, it's still progress! Have a cupcake!"

"...This is colored like me..."

"And now I wonder what you taste like," Minuette mused.

"Skittles," Pinkie answered.

Starlight blinked. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Candy from earth. Humans love the things. Rainbow tastes just like them."

Rainbow Dash blinked. "...I don't think I want to know."

"Probably not," Pinkie giggled. "But maybe you doooooooooo~"

"CELESTIA DAMMIT PINKIE!" Twilight yelled from the top of the stairs. "W-why would you think that?"

"Well, I said A, Dashie assumed I meant B, so I combined them together with a squid to make C, and now you're here to create D. Why? This stuff usually doesn't bother you. You tune it out."

"...I need my coffee. Now. I'm not awake enough to do tuning right now."

Applejack ran in. "Ah got you covered Twi! Black, apple, apple cider, smith, delicious, cherry, or caramel?" She pulled a cart covered in various coffees out of her room.

"...Buck it, everything," Twilight muttered.

"You got it!"

"That'll be 62 bits," the Inspector said, leaning in the doorway to her room.

"You... you're charging me?" Twilight gawked.

"You can just make bits appear out of midair Twilight, it's not an issue."

"It's the principle of the thing!"

Applejack shoved a coffee cup larger than Twilight's head into her hooves. "There you are!"

Twilight blinked, then shrugged and created 62 bits, chucking them at the Inspector. Twilight chugged the entire cup - she was at least awake enough to cast a heat resistance spell. "Ugh... That was a bit much..."

Fluttershy arrived next to Applejack. "I still can't quite believe this is your job now."

Ah'm a fine chef, and Rarity's a great accountant!"

"Our stocks are up 90%!" the Inspector said.

"See? Ah have no idea what that means, but it's good."

"It's meaningless here," Starlight said. "You're the only 'company' with 'stocks' here at all."

"That's the genius of it," the Inspector said. "The populace doesn't know what to expect from it, so it drags them in, and they enjoy the food!"

"You seem happy," Rarity observed.

"I never realized how much I hated being an Inspector! The economy is so much more fascinating!" she squealed with glee.

"I think I'm rubbing off on you," Rarity chuckled. "Uh... Can I keep calling you Inspector though?"

"Oh, please do. I'll still keep the title and the monocle."

Pinkie dropped the marshmallows she was juggling. "...You even sound like her now, Inspector."

The Inspector became flushed. "W-why - I..."

"Oh, is that a problem Inspector?" Rainbow Dash playfully jeered. "Identity crisis?"

"Ah... No. Just annoyance." She adjusted her monocle, narrowing her eyes at Rainbow Dash. "My annoyance levels are rising. I'm tempted to throw a trinket at you."

"I must be doing my job."

Minuette chuckled. "Hey! That's right, you do have a job! Annoy the shit out of everypony!"

"Good luck," Starlight chuckled.

Rainbow Dash nudged one of the perfectly aligned glasses out of place, breaking the order in them. Starlight twitched. "Do you want me to literally grill you?"

"Wow, disproportionate retribution much?" Pinkie asked.

"My patience was worn thin by your antics, Pinkie. What were you thinking putting cheese whiz in your cannon?"

"It'd be funny later." Starlight was annoyed by the amount of laughter this comment received.

Fluttershy smiled to everypony. "So, how does this party start, Pinkie?"

"Punch bowl cannonball!" Pinkie yelled, jumping into the air.

"Bootstr-" Starlight was doused with punch in the face before she could finish. She dripped red liquid to the ground, her glasses slowly sliding off her face. Then she laughed. "Well, I hope you understand this means war." She created a watermelon, smirking. She lit it on fire and hurled it at Pinkie.

Pinkie produced a rocket launcher that shot limes. "BANZAI!"

The fruits collided, squirting sugary fruity goodness everywhere. In the midst of their combat, neither of them saw Fluttershy position herself behind the cake. She kicked the great pastry over, engulfing both of them in cake, ending the fight quickly.

Everypony laughed.

~~~

"You all probably know me. Either as your neighbor, a speaker, or by reputation. I am Fluttershy, founder of our Society. What many ponies say when they first meet me is that 'it is an honor'.

"I want you all to know, in my time here - over a month - I have discovered that it is I who should be honored. What you have here is something I never accomplished. An almost complete success. You are not only accepted here, but considered normal. It is a beautiful thing I cannot reiterate enough.

"I've never spoken on this topic, but some of you know about it. The original cell of our comrades recently fell, along with all of Neighagra Falls. Our conspiracy fell under the combined weight of it, a resentful person, and the Concrete war. We stretched ourselves too thin and paid the price for it. If I could go back and redo it I would.

"I was there... there to see my home burn. There to see everything I had built fall apart. We all were - it was, in many ways, the most difficult thing any of us had been through. In many ways, this place was a starsend. We were going to live out our days in Griffonstone - away from home, away from what we wanted, in a land that didn't want us. I feel as if many of us would have broken completely had we not ended up here.

"I'm here to tell all of you to remember. All these things you do here? Don't take them for granted. Starlight does an amazing job of keeping this place hidden, but that doesn't mean things don't change. We are still ponies, and we have a capacity for evil. We always want things, desire what others have, and given certain circumstances will stop at nothing to get it. Many of you may think you are exempt from this - thinking you are a good pony and you'd never do anything like that.

"I'm sorry to say this, but really? Much friendship is created expecting something in return. Those who are racist and bigoted turn only because we make them - and we get a satisfaction and validation from it. Am I saying we are wrong in doing so? No! This work is right - I'm just saying it reveals a capacity within us we should be aware of. Careful.

"We need to watch ourselves, keep ourselves accountable, not let ourselves fall into a semblance of normalcy. We need to realize we are not all that different from the others - we are all ponies. The moment we forget that we start to lose sight of our goal, we can become what we hated, just in a different distortion of what is good and true.

"We could leave behind more and more of our morals, of our convictions, in favor of some greater good, some grant goal - so much so that we'll just forget what we're doing and do it wrong. I... We... I'd just... Just... Miss the mark completely..." She fell silent, shrinking slightly from the audience. "I'm... Sorry," she said, recovering. "That was uncalled for. I guess I'm still recovering. THat leads nicely into my next topic, I suppose, repentance and change..."

~~~

"Fluttershy, what was that about?" Twilight asked, waiting for her backstage.

"Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows, la la la, pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows! La da dee la da doo la da dee so many wonders-"

"Wow. It's... Been a long time since you've done that," Twilight sighed, grabbing Fluttershy as she tried to pass her. "Fluttershy, don't make me dig for it."

Fluttershy closed her eyes tight and grunted. "You stick your right hoof in you stick your right hoof out - Twilight stop - O' Celestia, how great are-" Fluttershy twitched, trying her absolute best to drown Twilight out of her thoughts. She might have succeeded were she in a more stable mental state, but the emotions were too strong to be buried. She sighed.

"...Fluttershy, you need this. You need my help. You-"

"This place will be the death of me," Fluttershy grunted, ramming her hoof into a wall. "I didn't see it at first, but I sure do see it now! I know you see it too!"

"Flutter-"

"Shush. Shush." She Stared into Twilight, making the alicorn recoil. "I'm going to say this. This place? You know what it is? Proof that I was going about it all wrong! I tried to change the world, and it fell apart. She staked out her claim in a small area the size of a town, and she did it. It worked amazingly. I dreamed too big," she laughed. "Far too big!"

"You did so much..."

"Yes, I did! I worked my wings off for this multiple times and... and... this Secret, this secluded place, it... It shows me I did it all wrong! That to get what I wanted... It needed to be smaller. I reached for the sun and I burned everypony."

"Fluttershy, do you think any of us could have just ignored the outside world then?" Fluttershy didn't need to respond to answer, and she knew it. "Exactly. Could we have taken Neighagra Falls, hid it from the world, and just ignored everything else?"

We should have tried.

"We couldn't though. And even if you were to go back and start again, I know you still can't. You still long to help the outside. You can't be satisfied while there's evil in the world."

"I can never be satisfied," Fluttershy said. "Look at Starlight. She's satisfied. She's happy where she is. She has no impossible ideals... She knows what she can do, and does it. Me? I just keep going and going and going and going until everything falls down. I just... I just..."

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Bigger risks, greater reward."

"That's a bit of proverbial hogwash and you know it."

"Well, they have served to define our lives have they not?"

Fluttershy sighed, looking into Twilight's eyes. Tears welled up in the pegasus' features.

"It'll be okay Fluttershy," Twilight said. "You can change your outlook or not. You can stay the same... or not. You can feel inferior to Starlight or not. All I know is that the girls and I will follow you wherever you go." She bowed to her. "I doubted you once, and everything fell apart. Please stop doubting yourself."

Fluttershy let out a soft chuckle. "You weren't completely wrong back there, you know."

"Hey, I'm still learning. Perhaps my teacher needs to pass on more of her knowledge."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes," she pulled her in for a tight hug. "Yes, really."

~~~

"You two," Starlight said one day with no warning, "with me, I want to show you something."

Pinkie and Rarity put down their ping pong paddles. The ball scored for Pinkie, but the two mares didn't register it. They sensed something... urgent and needy in Starlight's voice. "Dear, what is this about?"

"I'll explain once we get there. For now, just come. It'll be cool, I guaranteed." She led them back into her house, the clocks still ticking in time - though Starlight stopped a few times to scrutinize some of the more unusual timepieces that didn't seem to tick at all. She eventually led them into a back hall that ended with a glass door.

"...That looks like an elevator," Pinkie observed.

"It is," Starlight said. "I tinker with a lot more than just clocks. Come" She opened the doors and gestured for them to stand next to her, which they did. Starlight lit her horn, changing a magic crystal in the ceiling from red to green. The elevator lurched, descending roughly three stories into the ground, opening up to a dark basement shortly thereafter. The basement was filled with screens, unusual consoles, softly blinking buttons and lights, haphazard snaking wires that somehow managed to still look organized, many sheets of paper stacked high, and dozens of clocks.

"My..." Rarity said. "...I thought technology was condemned! How can you have this?"

"As I said previously, it's not illegal here," Starlight responded. "But since a distaste for technology won't hurt others, I don't force it on ponies. I don't tell them that I have my secret lab down here, and very few even know about more than the clocks."

"Ooooh! A secret within a secret!" Pinkie grinned. "Nice!"

"I'm glad you appreciate the meta nature of this," Starlight said. "Come, I want you to meet someone." She led them through a set of glass doors, into a much larger room with walls that were basically made of screens. Each screen displayed a graph, chart, or some partial schematic for a device. In the center of the room was something that looked unusually like a Concrete drone, except larger, more angular, and not glowing any color at all.

Pinkie's jaw dropped. "So cool!" She leaped around, looking at everything she could. She did a dance on top of the drone, smashed her face into a screen, spun around rapidly in a wheel chair, and bounced around with mounting excitement. "SO! COOL!"

"Yes yes please stop spinning thank you."

Pinkie shrugged, slowing herself down. She glanced at the screen closest to her. There was text on the screen.

>> How does it feel to be trapped in a web of lies nobody knows the full truth to? <<

Pinkie stared at the message for a long time, a sinking feeling hitting her gut. This meant something - but she didn't know what. "...Huh?"

Then the message vanished, leaving no trace of it. The screen just had several pie charts on it, stylized to look like actual pies.

Starlight looked over her shoulders. "Ah, that's the earth scanner screen. Well, one of them anyway. It lets us know what's happening on the ground above us. Not important though, what's important is that we find him. Foci! Come on out! it's safe!"

At this point a cobalt blue earth pony fell from the ceiling, landing on his feet, face blank. "I was calibrating the vents, couldn't be interrupted" He sized up Pinkie and Rarity. "The Otherworlders?"

"Yes," Starlight said.

"When can I begin work?"

"...Excuse me?" Rarity blurted.

Starlight facehooved. "Foci, we need to ask their permission first."

"Of course." He turned tail and walked up to the drone. He popped open a hatch and started working on the snaking wires within it using a sparking screwdriver.

"...Is he what I think he is...?" Rarity asked.

"I think so..." Pinkie said.

Starlight nodded. "Meet Foci, our Secret's only Concrete. Most ponies don't even know he exists."

Rarity looked at Foci closely as he worked. "Well, he's only the third Concrete I've met, but he seems a lot... more subdued."

"I had to physically remove his corrupted anger," Starlight said. "I still think I was doing him a favor, removing what the Nightmare Fuel did to him, despite the... questionable nature of the action. Luckily I didn't need to remove his curiosity and inventiveness - I don't think there would have been anything left without it. With his hatred of magic gone, he was more than willing to teach me everything he knew, so long as he got a lab to work in. Which is why this place exists."

"So... What do you work on here?" Rarity asked.

"Many things, mostly different spins on the idea of marrying magic and technology together. Sensors, spell guns, you name it. Our biggest project is the Starshell, though - that large drone behind you. Foci provided the blueprint for a basic Concrete drone, and I infused it with so many enhancements. It's got a temporal drive, magical shielding, a spellglobe, and a pocket dimension!" She grinned. "It's mean, I know I'll never get to actually fly it at full speed, but it's still amazing! We'll have to dig out a new section of cavern just to test it properly!"

"You... Really like your tinkering," Rarity observed.

"Oh, yes, yes I do. I'd do it all the time if I wasn't keeping this secret cave from revealing itself. It's just... so fun!"

"...Why are we here?"

"Oh, right," Starlight cleared her throat. "You said tests performed on Pinkie sent you here?"

"Correct."

Pinkie's eyes widened. "Oh... I see where you're going!"

Starlight nodded with a smirk. "I was thinking, what we have here is probably the only magitech lab on the entire planet. I might be able to figure out how to send you home."

Rarity gasped. "I thought you didn't want anyone to leave!"

"I don't. If I establish a connection to your world I'm moving the entire cavern to it. It's safe, unlike where we are now. The idea is that I get you two home, and I get my people out of this constant danger. It doesn't matter how good we are at hiding or distorting time, we're still relying heavily on luck. All I need is permission to sample Pinkie here."

"That..." Rarity took a step back and set down. "Sorry, it's just a bit overwhelming. I never thought we would be able to get home under our own power..."

"Ah, but we have me!" Pinkie grinned. "Sure, you can take samples!"

"Wait," Rarity said. "That didn't go so well last time, remember? We were tossed here and..."

"I'll be careful," Starlight said. "I may not be able to travel through time, but my rewind spell can undo a few seconds of something. If there's a disaster I'll have the spell ready to stop it. Ahem." She focused on Rarity a moment. When she started speaking Starlight said the exact same words.

"You sure you can do tha-" Rarity stopped talking, but Starlight finished. "-t, Dear?"

Rarity blinked. "Well, evidentially you can."

Starlight nodded. "It's actually pretty easy to do, albeit a bit awkward. The moment anything looks like it'll go wrong, It just is undone. I'll also go slower than your Twilight on purpose, no spells will be cast until I understand."

"I... Okay, I'm fine with this. Just... One question. Why didn't you ask earlier?"

"Had to be sure I could trust you. I can't just read your mind and figure it out like Twilight, I make my own conclusions. That being said, don't tell the others. I don't want them resentful - or getting false hope. I'm not sure I can do this, or that what happened to you can even be replicated."

"We won't," Rarity promised.

"We will be miss zipperlips!" Pinkie cheered.

"Thanks. I can take those samples now right?"

"Go right ahead!" Pinkie grinned.

"Okay, so, hair, blood, tears, urine, spinal fluid-"

"...That's a lot more than Twilight took."

"I'm going to need much more than I just listed. The spinal tap will be rather painful, and some of these later samples will be rather embarrassing for you to obtain, but I'm sure you'll manage."

Pinkie gulped. "Okay..."

"Foci, get the test tubes!"

~~~

"Come one, come all, get your freshly home-made apple pie! Pop tarts! Fitters! Ah even got a pear - I'm in that kind of mood today!" Applejack trotted through town, wheeling the food cart - and the Inspector - around. "Food food food!"

"FOOD!" Rainbow Dash yelled, rolling into view. "I DEMAND THE MANTICORE JERKEY!"

The inspector adjusted her monocle. "Swerve right to avoid her."

Applejack obeyed, missing Rainbow Dash by a mere foot. Rainbow Dash twitched. "Hey! Come back here!"

"The last of the jerky is for paying customers!" Applejack yelled back. "You had an entire stash of it to yourself!"

"So?" Rainbow Dash smirked, rolling after them, using her wing to pick up speed. "I'm gonna getcha!"

Applejack glanced in the rudimentary rear-view mirror she had set up. "She's gaining!"

"Sharp point U-turn," the Inspector ordered. Applejack obeyed - the cart whirled back, nearly toppling over, but managing to right itself and pass the swift Rainbow Dash.

"Buck! I'm not done yet you two!" She rushed after them again.

"Just give up Rainbow!" the Inspector called.

"NEVER!"

"Arial overcharge," the Inspector suggested. Applejack took in a breath and slammed her hooves onto the ground, the Inspector used her magic to pull the cart up alongside Applejack, into the air, over Rainbow Dash.

"Gotcha!" Rainbow Dash shouted, launching herself out of her wheelchair and hitting the cart on the underside, sending it tumbling end over end, foodstuffs flying in all directions. The crash in the nearby pasture was spectacular. Planks of wood went flying off the edge of the cart, pies splattered a few bystanders in the face, and the Inspector and Applejack ended up in a tree while Rainbow Dash ended up face-first in the grass.

Right in front of her face was the last piece of jerky. Her eyes sparkled. She reached for it...

...Only for Minuette to snatch it up and toss it in her mouth.

Rainbow Dash's eyes twitched. "Bonehead smashing time." She attempted to rush Minuette - only to be held down by the Inspector's magic.

"Rainbow Dash!" Applejack shouted. "You broke the cart!"

"You could have just given it to me you know!"

"No! We were going to sell that!" She leaped down from the tree. "Now where is it!?"

"Minuette ate the damn thing."

"No I didn't!" Minuette said - jerky flakes visible on her teeth.

Applejack raised an eyebrow.

"...I don't have money?"

The Inspector leaped down from the tree, sighing. "I guess that's a fair reason for not paying."

"Ahem." The four mares turned to see a male zebra standing nearby. "I'd like to buy a Granny Smith Apple Pie - if it's not too damaged."

"Ah," Applejack said, rooting through the remains of the cart. "Looks like we got some undamaged. Here you go."

"Fifteen bits," the Inspector added.

"Wow, cheap. I pay more than that for Zecora's fragrance potions."

Rainbow Dash fell out of the wheelchair she had just gotten back in. "...Did you just say Zecora?"

"Yes. You probably haven't met her, she's a rather reclusive zebra that lives in a hut over in those 'woods'. Bit quirky and hermit-y, but her charms are legitimate." The zebra handed the Inspector the bits. "I hope you find the means to fix your cart." He walked off.

Minuette blinked. "...Zecora."

"Eeyup," Applejack responded.

"The one who's hut we burned down."

"Eeyup."

"The one who tore off Rainbow's wing."

"Eeyup."

"Rainbow's already gone," the Inspector said.

"Eeyup."

"Probably going to confront Zecora."

"Eeyep."

"There's no way in Tartarus that goes well," Minuette said.

The three shared a glance with each other - then took off down the path at high speed. They were too late, Rainbow Dash was already knocking on the door of the hut. "...Zecora?"

Zecora opened the door, her aging eyes taking a second to process who was before her. "Yes? ...O staen cach." As soon as she recognized Rainbow - she stamped her hoof on the ground and encased Rainbow Dash in a mess of green vines.

That's all Applejack and Minuette needed to see - they attacked as one, driving Zecora into the floor of her own home. Minuette levitated her into the ceiling, Applejack bucked her across the room, and the Inspector looking at her with contempt. Zecora clasped her hooves together, growing many more green vines, attempting to entangle them - but Minuette burned them. Rage on her face, she walked closer and closer to Zecroa, trapping her in a strong grasp of telekinesis.

"How can Starlight let you live here!?"

Applejack pulled back a hoof, aiming at Zecora's jaw. "We oughta-"

"I can tell you about a zebra plot against Equestria please don't kill me!"

"...What?" Minuette asked, a sinking feeling forming in her stomach.

"Guys! Lay off!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "Off! I'm not here to fight!"

Zecora gulped. "You... Weren't?"

"No! I just wanted to talk! Ask... Ask why! And..." She blinked. "Wait, zebra plot against Equestria?"

The Inspector closed the front door. "We'd very much like to hear about that, Zecora."

Zecora managed to pale despite being mostly white already. "Well... You see..."

Comments

[Ponygood11]

I disagree with the Narrator's statement. Secrets are just facts, which just happen to be shared by a trusting person who doesn't want you telling others. What is it about a secret that makes people uncomfortable?

Definitely intrigued by the Narrator's appearance in the lab, though. Does this mean Pinkie and Co. can butt in to the Narrator's musing?

[BleedingRaindrops]

"It'll be okay Fluttershy," Twilight said. "You can change your outlook or not. You can stay the same... or not. You can feel inferior to Starlight or not. All I know is that the girls and I will follow you wherever you go." She bowed to her. "I doubted you once, and everything fell apart. Please stop doubting yourself."

Fluttershy let out a soft chuckle. "I think you contradicted yourself. there."

I've read this over six times, and I can't find any contradictions.

"As I said previously, it's not illegal here," Starlight responded. But since a distaste for technology won't hurt others, I don't force it on ponies. I don't tell them that I have my secret lab down here, and very few even know about more than the clocks."

Missing open quote

"Yes yes please stop spinning thank you.

Missing end quote

And the first major plot point of act 2 hits. Fantastic. We're getting somewhere.

[Keywii_Cookies55]

"My..." Pinkie said. "...I thought technology was condemned! How can you have this?"

-This sounds more like a Rarity line than a Pinkie one.

"...Is he what I think he is...?" Rarity asked.

"I think so..." Rarity said.

-Then there's double Rarity here, which is confusing. Normally I don't edit for you, but I had a hard time ignoring them XD, In any case, I enjoyed this chapter, but I'm in agreement with Ponygood on the 'secret' comment, at least partially. I think your own personal bias towards being as honest as possible is leaking into your writing. Sure some secrets can hurt. But others are just information. And some exist to keep people safe *from* hurting.

In any case, I know the facts and know I'm not talking to you when I comment on your Narrator. But I just felt the need to comment regardless.

[Ponygood11]

8355355
"Silly Rarity!" Pinkie giggled, bouncing around Rarity. "Why're you talking to yourself?"

[Crimson Dawn]

Well we see that they took Pinkie tasting Dash one way but they forget the other way Pinkie could know how Dash tates and that wills till get a reaction out of them of TMI.

[Mocha Star]

The editor, if there was one, left a few chapters ago, huh?
It's been a real grammatical nightmare since.

Example:
"...Is he what I think he is...?" Rarity asked.
"I think so..." Rarity said.

😂
Still great story!!

[GMBlackjack]

8386886
Wait, hold on, I already fixed that...?

...Guess I never hit save... Weird. I'll... go fix that. Again.

-GM, master of fixystix.

[FridayPie]

Wait.. cheeze wheez in canon? Wasn't that what happened in season 7(and ruined Rarity's mane)? So foreshadowing!