Worst sister

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Rarity has many flaws but she does her best to become a better sister for her little Sweetie Belle.

Unfortunately, that might not be enough.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 13 )

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StormLuna

StormLuna #1 · Apr 1st, 2017 · · ·

This story is absolutely hilarious. Have an upvote and a fave.

Foxhelm

Foxhelm #2 · Apr 1st, 2017 · · ·

Siblings do this all the time. But the trolling is strong with both of them.

BellChime

BellChime #3 · Apr 1st, 2017 · · ·

Lighttone GryphonStar

Lighttone GryphonStar #4 · Apr 2nd, 2017 · · ·

Name of Story: Worst Sister
Grammar score out of 10 (1 is grammar that needs to be worked upon as basic principles such as capitalization and spelling is an issue, and 10 is impeccable): 8
Pros -
- This was truly cute

-That scene with the dairy was perfect.

Cons -
-There were a very small amount of grammar mistake, but nothing an extra look couldn't fix.

-Rarity suddenly leaving does seem a little abrupt.

Notes Section: This was an extra cute story that had plenty of laughs. As said earlier that scene with dairy was the best part. It reminded me so much of this scene.

I absolutely loved seeing Rarity essentially do the same thing.. As for the grammar, as said a quick look through should fix this. Its nothing that breaks the story.Which mean the only glaring problem is on Rarity abruptly leaving. This needs to be drawn out just a bit better. Heck, I almost missed while reading and wondered where Rarity disappeared to. I'm not saying the scene wasn't there, I'm just saying the scene wasn't as noticeable as the others. Either way I still enjoyed this story and will gladly give it a like and fav.

andrizzi

andrizzi #5 · Apr 2nd, 2017 · 1 · ·

8066956 Thank you. Your help is much appreciated.

8066266 Meanwhile, a caped figure rubbed her hooves together, hidden in the shadows of her castle in Canterlot.
"I feel a disturbance in the trolling..."