• Published 1st Aug 2012
  • 3,892 Views, 140 Comments

Nyctophobia - Valorousspectre



Soarin, Romance, stalkeresque, Jealousy, past abuse

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12
 140
 3,892

Maskless

Epilogue: Maskless.

Skeleton arrived at the Canterlot castle three days later, evening. Her carriage was dark, mysterious and gothic. Tickets exchanged hooves, she met the princess quickly and left twice as quickly, terrified of the status and lots of ponies around her. She quickly made her way out of the castle, avoiding as many guests as possible and looked around for the maze. It was difficult to miss. She ruffled her wings, her mane bouncing as she began to fly

~*~

Soarin waited nervously at the entrance to the Canterlot maze, his mane spiked back in its’ normal style, his suit wrinkle free and perfectly clean.

Calm down Soarin... She’ll be here soon. She said she would.

He nodded to himself, pacing slowly. As a result, his back was turned when Skeleton landed behind him and took a nervous step forward, her bright orange eyes wide.

“Soarin..?”

Soarin froze and turned slowly, his heart beating frantically.

“Skeleton Grin?”

He gasped as he beheld her, standing nervously in front of him.

By Celestia...

Her dress was long, black and silver in colour. Think of an old masquerade ball. The dresses worn back in those days? Yeah. That’s what she was basically wearing. The dress was mainly black, intricate silver designs stitched into it with such care it was as though they were bolts of silvery magic. Her mane fell in bouncy curls around her face, framing it perfectly in the way only Rarity could do.

“Soarin... I...”

She blushed nervously.

“I told you I’d be here...”

Soarin nodded, smiling.

“Yes... you did.”

The two slowly approached each other, Soarin in his suit, Grin in her dress. Soarin was smiling nervously, Skeleton was blushing.

No going back now Grin... He knows your name and what you look like... oh Celestia he looks so handsome...

Soarins’ mind was in an uproar of its’ own.

Holy Celestia she’s beautiful... Oh Luna, I feel so underdressed. Oh jeez, what do I do!?

The two stood directly in front of each other, both of their hearts beating frantically in their chests, as though they were going to bust out of their bony cages and embrace each other there and then.

Oh Celestia...

By Luna...

The moon was out in the sky as the two wordlessly gazed at each other, blue eyes meeting orange. The two sat for what seemed an eternity before Soarin leaned forward and pulled her into an embrace.

“Skeleton Grin...”

“Y..Yes Soarin..?”

“I..”

He frowned.

No Soarin... that’s simply... It won’t do. Show her, don’t tell her. If there’s anything you’ve learned about her, it’s that showing her something works best.

“Soarin..?”

He smiled and made a small amount of room between the pair, gazing into her eyes.

“S..Soarin..?”

For the first time, under the pale moonlight at the annual Grand Galloping Gala held at Canterlot Castle, Skeleton Grin was kissed by the one she loved. Face to face, no magic involved.

Never in her life had she felt so amazingly happy.

Comments ( 84 )

1008485
Bingo my friend. Hit the nail on the head so hard you busted straight through the wood you were nailing.
1008401
Some constructive criticism is always welcome if you have suggestions.

Not at all bad. Certainly not what I was expecting, but in a good way. I think this deserves much more views and likes than it has. A couple of minor typing mistakes, but bearable. All in all it flowed smoothly, and was quite touching. Much better than half the romantic stories the dolts on this site manage to come up with. I will say, is there or will there be a sequel to this, detailing more between what happens between Skeleton Grin and Soarin? Maybe more about Skeleton Grin's past? If so, I'd say I MUST read it :twilightblush:

I have to say that this is an amazing story, I don't think I've read anything quite like it since I started reading pony fan fiction. I noticed a couple tiny mistakes here and there, usually just something not being capitalized. As for the story itself the OC was pretty unique and the development between her and Soarin was interesting. On the flip side we don't know much about Skeleton, how she got here scars, or how she came to be where she is now in both location and mental state. I suppose that's not really vital to the story but I would have loved to learn more about her, unless she's an OC from another story that I haven't read and I'm just missing out on something there. Also I know that things have to end at some point, but I would have liked to see what happens in the maze, and possibly further into the future between the two. Nevertheless I think this was a perfect end to my day, a great fiction and the thought of getting warm in my bed :derpytongue2:

P.S. I hope you eventually find the inspiration or inclination to write more about Skeleton, I said it already but I'll say it again, I'd love to learn more about the background of this OC. :pinkiehappy: And it looks like I'm not the only one with similar thoughts.

1009181
well, to be honest this was going to be a one part tale, but I received that many requests concerning her past and her future I'm considering continuing it in a small story concerning not only future but past as well.

1009193
Sorry about the mistakes I've made, I tried to catch them all. I have a tendency to get overexcited when I write. You're not missing anything from another story though, Skeleton Grin is one of my many characters and she made her debut in this tale.

I did actually begin to write a followup tale, 'Ghosts of Skeleton's Past', but I never got very far with it when I got caught up with all my rewriting. I might continue it it inbetween the rewrites though. It'll stop me from being bored at least and that's something.

Thanks for the praise guys :twilightblush:

This was fun, yet short read. Cheers!

1009253 There's no need to apologize for the tiny mistakes, it happens to everyone and it can be hard if you try to catch those errors by yourself. This is one of those stories that I can look past these little details and enjoy the story for what it is, especially since they're pretty uncommon in this fic. The title for the follow-up sounds interesting and I hope you do continue with it so I can sate my curiosity :pinkiehappy:

Nicely done!
I personally agree with comments #4 and especially #5,
they wrote better than what I could and very similar to what I would have so that's why I agree with them :pinkiesmile:

Again beautifully executed and I desire more of Skeleton Grin

>Says the story's a "one shot".
>Has eleven chapters.
Seems Legit.
All joking aside, it looks like it'll be an interesting read. Here's to hoping the OC's enjoyable.

1009446
It's short in comparison to most. Only 16 and a half thousand words as opposed to 44 thousand.

I won't lie: The story felt rushed at the end, although the pacing was good otherwise. What I wish most, however, is that we'd gotten to know Grin better. Although scars often get noted as a Sue's quality, execution matters, and here the execution works well: I desperately want to know Grin's story. Almost as desperately as I want to know why the story was titled "Nyctophobia" when a fear of the dark did not figure into the plot at all.

1009516
Fear of the dark is factored in many ways, simply not in the normal way. While I didn't actively make anypony afraid of the dark literally, there are many ways for one to perceive darkness. For example, In the darkness one perceives things in different ways. Soarin was kept in the dark about her identity, and he began to fear that he'd lose her, eventually giving into the fear and brought back out quickly by Fleetfoot. Skeleton Grin perceives Soarin's acceptance and affections for Fleetfoot, that were made in chaste and good faith, as a death warrant for her potential relationship, Her identity itself is kept in the shadows. She covers herself in black garments, appearing dark and mysterious. She hides her talent, keeping other ponies in the dark.

I'm using it as a big metaphor. Fear of the dark pertains to fear of the unknown in the way that the darkness veils the known, making our minds perceive it as unknown, or hides things that we'd rather know or would best be kept within the light.

It's complicated.

I loved it! :heart::twilightsmile: I really loved the pacing, it was juuuust right! I'm in love with the OC, and I hope to see more of her! Her backstory would be very interesting! :eeyup:

My good sir, I give you 9 lovesick Koalas out of 8!

1009852
If it makes you feel better, I wrote most of my fiction (almost all romance) whilst listening to Hollywood Undead.

Simply amazing. Now I just need you to check me out of the insane asylum, okay?

Always watching the clock...the clock doesn't stop...it can't stop...it won't stop...I don't want it to stop...tick...tock.

Awesome story bro! keep up the great work! :twilightsmile:

A great read especially on my day off from work! Thanks for making my day Valorousspectre! :ajsmug:

oh man, just took me about 5 hours to read, totally awesome! :rainbowkiss: loved it too. i cant wait to see more. :pinkiesmile:

I don't really like romance stories because...I just don't, but this one is nice.
I like it. :twilightsmile:

I was getting bored waiting for updates to appear... so i went browsing and i found this. now trust me when i say that ive read alot on this site (3,128,000 words:pinkiecrazy:) this is one of the best in my books

Great job, this is awesome!

Oh please make a follow up story to this :pinkiesad2:

Amazing! I loved this story from start to finish, and Grin is a very interesting character. It would be amazing if we could know more about her and her backstory. All in all 10 out of 10 for this fic it's been a while since ive enjoyed a fic like this :twilightsmile:

Holy jesus Christ in heaven I've collected a few comments on this!
1011414
This was actually a stroke of inspiration tale, so it's a little rushed, particularly towards the end, But I'm glad you like it and I plan to.
1013284
Awww, Thanks buddy. I certainly try~
1013403
Well, I'm glad you took five hours out of your life to read my story~ I'm grateful you did and glad you enjoyed it.:twilightblush:
1014045
Would you look at that! Even peoples who don't like romance like this story! No but seriously, I'm glad you liked it.
1014535
Hory Sheet that's a lot of words. Thanks a lot for the compliment man, it means a lot to me.
1015023
Danke
1023240
Well thank you for the compliment~ And that brings me to our last comment...
1021330
A followup story. You know I've gotten a lot of people ask me on here and fanfic.net if I can/if I am making a followup tale for Nyctophobia. You know, originally, I was simply going to leave it at this, but SOOOOOOO many people wanted to hear about Skeleton's past that I... well...
You'll have to keep an eye out won't you?

1024829 What can I say? Believable, well written. Romance isn't my thing, but I'm a sucker for a good story.

1025852
I'm writing a sequel for it describing Skeleton's past if that interests you.

1025875 Sounds great. I'd like to read that. :twilightsmile:

1024829 oh I'll be keeping a very very close eye on you :trixieshiftleft: :trixieshiftright:

Wow, that was touching :heart::heart:
I hope you'll write a sequel or something :), I really want to know more about our little Grin, she's absolutly cute and a lovely OC, one of the best I know so far to be honest^^.
Great story, dude, I really like your style and your story ideas fit perfectly with that what I desire :D. I beg you for writing more stories like this, or at least continue this one. I love this OC. I love her character so much, even if I dont know so much, she caught all of my heart.
Keep it up!
Sincerely,
Galicorn
(sorry about my enlish^^-> ain't my first language)

Wow this was sooo good! WHY DOESNT IT HAVE MORE GREEN THUMBS? :flutterrage:

Tempted to d-vote just for the fact such a great story is over. but I'm better then that. out of ten mustaches you get :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

1070941
All good things come to an end.

My god that was fucking amazing please write more like this:heart::raritystarry:

1071066

Sad as it is I understand. Oh well just gotta reread it and read the follow up.

It ended too quickly :applecry: i want more skeleton :fluttershysad: i Need more skeleton :pinkiesad2: please :fluttercry: ?

all drama aside , nice story , no backstory about S.G. , but who am I to complain , ONWARD To The Sequel :yay:

Well maybe after some sleep :facehoof: my Eyes

1014535 You have much to read young grass hoppah :ajsmug:.

Great story by the way. I really, really like Grin as a character. She needs more stories. I know you wrote a followup about her past, but she still needs more. An infinite number of stories must be written about her. A lot of people make OCs, but most of them are lackluster at best. Grin though....she's very intriguing. A pony who's friendless and unhappy because she scares ponies, has scaring ponies as her special talent and enjoys doing it no less. Now off to the sequel....

I remember seeing this in the latest stories and loving it but I'm guessing I gotta read your other fics to understand some parts

1140234

Which parts do you not understand? Perhaps I can clear things up for you.

I think my only complaint would be that it ended so suddenly but you have a sequel to make up for that sooooo....meh... Off to read that then I 'spose :pinkiehappy:

1464049
Whilst I do apologise for the grammatical errors in my chapters, The Cameo of Gray Lapis most certainly is not useless. I will bid you not to judge my motives until such a time as the entire storyline has been completed, including the as of yet uncompleted sequel, 'Ghosts of Skeletons Past'. Gray wasn't brought in as a cameo, he was brought in for a reason. Most everything I do in stories is for a reason.

Yay! Happy endings all around. And it isn't a POS fic, which, unfortunately, fics with such endings usually are.
Phenomenal. Ten out of ten.

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